Loving Mr. July

by Margaret Antone

  Kurt found Cynthia’s hand under the tablecloth and squeezed it, giving her a smile when she looked at him in surprise.

  “But in all seriousness,” the emcee continued, “Cynthia has been a major force behind fundraising for the Bocher Foundation, and many children have benefited. Cynthia?”

  Kurt gave her hand another squeeze, and she got up, making her way to the podium.

  Cynthia waited for the applause to die down before she began her speech, speaking in such a natural manner, Kurt couldn’t have guessed she had been so nervous.

  “I’d like to thank all of you here tonight. It’s folks like you, who have contributed in many ways, large and small, that allow this foundation to continue its great work.” She called attention to a number of long-time donors and volunteers, having each one stand to be recognized. After the last person sat down, she continued, “I was asked to tell you about the children the Foundation benefits, but first, I want to tell you another story.”

  Kurt saw Cynthia take a steadying breath. Her speech became a bit strained.

  “Years ago, I was the type of child that the Bocher Foundation helps. In my case, I was abused by a family member, and it went on for years before a kind teacher guessed and found help for me.”

  Kurt heard stunned murmurs travel about the crowd before it became completely silent.

  “I know first hand how devastating abuse can be, and the repercussions it can have even years later. Before tonight, very few people knew why I volunteered her, or why I felt what the organization does is so important. And the main reason for that? Shame.”

  Cynthia paused to wipe a tear from her face.

  And it was at that moment that Kurt knew, without a doubt, that he was completely in love with her. He felt a fierce protectiveness that made him want to have her never feel hurt again.

  “But,” Cynthia said, “through years of therapy and a few good friends, I’ve come to realize that while what happened to me was terrible, it didn’t need to define who I am.”

  Kurt sat back, stunned to realize that he had been one of the few to know her story. The thought gave him sudden hope. He didn’t even try to blink back the rare tears that came to his eyes.

  Cynthia continued her speech with a few examples of children recently helped, before concluding.

  “And this is what the Foundation has done and will continue to do for hundreds of children, many of them who will forever stay nameless, but whose lives are forever changed for the better, thanks to people like you.”

  Kurt felt his chest swell with emotion as he joined the crowd in giving Cynthia a thunderous standing ovation.

  When Cynthia returned to their table, her face looking relieved, he gathered her close in a tight hug, whispering in her ear, “I’m so, so proud of you.”

  Chapter 16

  Cynthia snuggled into the comfortable seats of Kurt’s car. Even though she felt tired and more than a little drained from her emotional speech, she couldn’t say no when he’d asked her to if she was up for a surprise.

  She snuck a peek at him under her lashes. He drove the car with relaxed competence, one large hand holding the wheel, the other resting on the stick shift, where he tapped his fingers along with the tune of the Adele ballad coming out of the car’s stereo speakers. He had a slight smile on his face, making her wonder what he was thinking.

  She thought back to his reaction to her speech. Had that really been tears she’d seen on his face? It made her wonder.

  Kurt pulled into his garage and turned to her. “Would you mind waiting her for just a second?”

  Cynthia shook her head.

  Kurt disappeared into the house. She heard Lucky’s excited barking, and then silence. After a few moments, he returned to the car, came around to her side and opened the door with a flourish. “I’ve got a surprise for you, but you have to shut your eyes. No peeking!”

  Bemused, Cynthia let Kurt lead her into the house. She heard a door shut, then felt the floor rising. “You have an elevator? All this time, you’ve had me going up and down the stairs and you have an elevator?”

  “You did make me eat nasty food for more than two weeks.”

  She harrumphed.

  Kurt chuckled. He tilted her chin up and kissed her lightly on the mouth. “I rarely use this thing. It’s really only for hauling furniture to the upper floors. I just didn’t want you to trip trying to walk up the stairs without looking.”

  Cynthia opened her eyes to stare at Kurt.

  “Uh, uh.” He gently brushed her eyelids shut. “No peeking.”

  She heard the doors to the elevator open. He took her hand, and led her into the house. When she heard door slide in tracks, she knew they were going out to the living room balcony. A few moments later, the sound of the surf grew louder, confirming her suspicion.

  “You can open your eyes now.” Kurt squeezed her hand.

  Cynthia slowly opened her eyes. She took in the sight and blinked. She felt like she was in one of her dreams.

  On the round teak table that usually held a variety of shells and driftwood, and more than one of Lucky’s toys, candlelight glowed from two tapers in hurricane glasses. A low glass vase of pink peonies added a touch of elegance without obstructing the view of the moonlight glinting over the ocean. An open bottle of pinot noir Cynthia recognized as a California Russian River Valley wine she’d lusted over sat on the table between two wine glasses. A small plate of cheese and crackers graced each place setting.

  “You’ve talked about wanting to have a glass of wine on the balcony just about every time I made you workout,” Kurt said.

  Cynthia turned so she could look at him. He stood waiting for her response, an uncertain smile on his face. Her heart leapt.

  “Yes.” Cynthia stepped forward to wrap her arms around him. She felt his strong arms envelope her, and after a moment, she his lips nuzzle the top of her head.

  “Yes?”

  “Yes, to the wine,” Cynthia murmured into his chest. And yes I’m in love with you, she thought to herself. Yes, I’m ready to risk my heart with you. But she couldn’t bring herself to say more. This time, she would communicate with actions.

  He gave her another quick squeeze, gently set her aside, and poured some wine into each glass. Handing one to her, he raised his own. “To your courage and to new beginnings.”

  Cynthia clinked glasses with him and took a sip. After a moment, she linked her fingers into his and drew him closer. She drew a steadying breath, looked him in the eyes and said, “I only had courage because of you, you know.”

  Kurt unlinked their fingers and brought his hand to her face, gently stroking her chin. From the questioning look on his face, he clearly wanted her to explain.

  “When you listened the other night, you didn’t judge. You didn’t give me pity. You didn’t act disgusted.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Kurt tilted her chin up so that he could look directly into her eyes.

  “Which I’ve heard many times before, from therapists, girlfriends, family members. But even when I told you I’d been sort of promiscuous, you didn’t recoil.”

  “We’ve all been idiots at one time or another,” Kurt told her, running a finger over her cheek in a light caress. “As long as there were no lasting repercussions?”

  Cynthia shook her head, realizing his question. “Nope, I got tested. And I was lucky.”

  “You don’t want to know about some of the stupid stuff I’ve done. Not exactly like I’ve been an alter boy either. And I also got tested and am clean.” Kurt reassured her, then shrugged. “You live and learn. If you don’t, well that’s another story, but sounds like you learned.”

  Cynthia melted at the look in his eyes. He truly meant what he said. “Not every guy would act that way.”

  “How many guys have you told your story to?” Kurt dropped a light kiss on her forehead.

  Cynthia hesitated a moment. She drew in a breath, buoyed by the look in his eyes. “Up until tonight? One.”

&
nbsp; It took a moment for the words to sink in. Cynthia saw the moment that Kurt registered what she meant. His eyes took on a tender look. “Aw Cyn.” He looked into her eyes for a moment. “I’m honored,” he told her softly. He kissed her on both cheeks.

  Cynthia read the question in his eyes when he drew his head. She answered it by drawing his head down to hers, brushing her lips against his. Then all thought went out of her head.

  His lips soft, he slanted his mouth over hers. The kiss first gentle, intensified with each tentative response from her.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaned into his body, reveling in the feeling of being encompassed by hard strength. She felt safe, not over powered.

  Kurt drew back, took a breath. “Cyn, love, you know where this is going, don’t you?”

  Cynthia drew in her breath and nodded into his chest.

  He tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes. “If you want me to stop, I will. I want you to feel in charge.”

  Cynthia couldn’t speak. Tears came into her eyes, but as they were tears of joy, she didn’t want Kurt to see. She answered him by drawing his head back down, cupping his face between her hands and bringing her lips to his, brushing against them softly.

  “Don’t.” She brushed his lips again. “Stop.”

  Kurt enveloped her in a big hug, drawing in a ragged breath. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

  “You have?” Cynthia mumbled into his chest.

  “God woman, how could you not know that?” He set her back from him for a moment. “I’ve touched you every chance I could. I’ve walked around practically naked trying to see if you had any interest whatsoever. Zip. Zero. Nada. Do you know what you’ve done to my ego?”

  “Poor baby,” Cynthia said, her heart singing. She slipped off his jacket.

  “Why.” Cynthia started unbuttoning his shirt.

  “Didn’t.” She kissed one side of his chest.

  “You.” She kissed the other side, running her hands over the hard planes.

  “Just.” She pulled the shirt out of his pants.

  “Kiss.” The shirt followed the jacket to the deck floor.

  “Me?”

  Kurt, his eyes dark with desire, grabbed both of her hands, and pulled them to his neck. He ran his hands down her sides, brushing against her breasts.

  “Cyn,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  At her muffled giggle, he told her. “And enjoying it a little too much, I’d say.”

  Without warning, Kurt bent and scooped her up, and carried her into the house and down the hallway to his room, laying her gently on his bed. Moonlight from the bare windows streamed across the room, illuminating the room.

  When Kurt bent over her, his beautiful, sculpted body clearly revealed in the soft light, Cynthia felt as if she were in a dream.

  He gazed at her for a moment, brushing the bangs away from her eyes. With one finger, he skimmed her lips, and then brushed the sides of her cheek with the back of his fingers. One thumb still caressing her cheek, he bent down and laid his lips across hers, tasting, savoring.

  Cynthia responded to the reverence in his touch by bringing her hands up around his neck, drawing him closer.

  With his hands on either side of her head to prop himself up, he deepened the kiss, lips soft, tongue gently tangling with hers.

  Cynthia soon realized that while he led the lovemaking, he deliberately allowed her to set the pace. She felt his care radiating through the restraint he showed her, even as she felt his need pressing up against her thigh.

  Gratitude mixed with love came though in her response to his soft caresses. She intensified their kiss, ran her hands up and down the hard planes of his chest and back, and slipped them under his pants.

  He lifted his head from her lips, and rained kisses across her neck, brushing the tops of her breasts. He began a slow unbuttoning of her silk blouse, stopping after each button to kiss the skin underneath, and widening his caress to graze the tips of his fingers across her aching breasts.

  By the time his fingers reached her second breast, Cynthia’s desire was too intense to wait any longer. She turned her body so that his kiss landed squarely on the thin lace covering her breast, then moaned when he took its peak into her mouth, loving, and sucking.

  Kurt moved faster on the remaining buttons, helping her remove the blouse.

  She unclasped her bra and slipped it off, reveling in the appreciative look on Kurt’s face. While he wanted to linger, her desire was now too intense, and when she moved to help him unzip his pants, he laughed, shifted her fumbling hands away and shrugged out of the clothing on his own, revealing the strong evidence of his desire.

  Looking at the play of hard muscles in Kurt’s beautiful body made Cynthia shy for a moment, realizing that her body was still softer and larger than it should be. Probably bigger than any woman Kurt had been with.

  But when her hands stilled on her skirt, and she turned her head away, Kurt brought his hands back to her face, turned her to face him, and kissed her fully on the mouth.

  Seeming to sense her shyness, he unzipped her skirt, and skimmed it off her body with expert fingers, all the while, kissing each new area of skin as he exposed it, leaving her with little thought except for the desire to join with him.

  When he would have lingered with his lips near the top of her thighs, she pulled him up, guided him to her entrance, and moaned when with a smile, he complied.

  His touch slow, but not tentative, he entered her, all the while kissing first one breast, then the other, then coming back to claim her mouth. With each thrust, the intensity grew.

  Cynthia saw the effort to hold himself back in his face, and her tenderness for his consideration mixed with her passion until he took her over the edge, his kisses swallowing her cries. He waited for another moment, letting her experience her moment fully, before a few more thrusts took him over the edge as well.

  Spent, he moved to lay beside her, gathering her close, kissing the side of her neck, even as he enveloped her in his arms.

  Cynthia heard his deep sigh of contentment and snuggled closer into his embrace, her emotions too strong for words, she stayed silent. After a while, the regular breathing blowing across her cheek told her Kurt slept.

  And in complete peace, she let herself drift off as well.

  Chapter 17

  Cynthia hummed a happy tune as she pulled into Kurt’s driveway. After their fabulous night together, she wanted to surprise him with a homemade meal, only this time, it would be one of her signature gourmet dishes.

  She glanced over the grocery bags filled with farmer’s market vegetables and fruit, juicy filet mignon, and a bottle of Zinfandel. She’d even stayed up late the night before to make a yeast dough. All she needed to do now was throw it in Kurt’s oven.

  Too late, she realized that she didn’t have a garage door opener, so she decided to use the key she’d not yet returned to Kurt to open his front door. She walked from the alley that fronted his driveway around the corner to the front door walkway.

  She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard the murmur of voices, and recognized a distinctive baritone.

  In front of her, not more than twenty feet away, Kurt walked away from her toward the beach, his arm around the shoulder of a willowy brunette. The girl leaned into Kurt, and Cynthia watched him kiss her on the cheek and squeeze her shoulders. He murmured into the woman’s ear, but Cynthia was too far away to hear. Their postures were intimate. This woman clearly was someone he knew well.

  Putting a hand to her mouth to mask the involuntary moan that came from her lips, Cynthia ducked behind a bush, clutching at her stomach.

  No! The scream stayed in her head. She thought that he’d cared about her. She’d given herself to him like to no one else, both body and mind. Swaying, almost dizzy, she knew she had to get away before Kurt saw her. Not caring about the strange look Kurt’s neighbor gave her as she wound her way through the landsca
ping bushes to avoid the walkway where Kurt could see her if he just turned around, she found her way back to the car, berating herself as she went.

  Why in the world would a man like Kurt want her when he could have his pick of women? True, it had seemed so real, and his emotions, honest. But she knew better, she thought, banging on the steering wheel through her tears. She knew better! She had a sudden, violent urge for ice cream and chocolate.

  Tears streaming down her face, Cynthia drove aimlessly up the coastal highway. At one intersection, she rolled down her car window, stunning the homeless couple to whom she gave her two bags of groceries. What they would do with raw meat and raw dough, she had no idea, but she couldn’t bear to look at the food.

  Somehow she found her way home. Walking into the dark house, she went straight to her bed, curled up in a fetal position, and cried herself to sleep.

  ~ ~ ~

  An alarm rang incessantly. Kurt, still groggy from his late night, felt around on the bedside table, trying to turn it off. He finally woke up enough to realize it was the telephone.

  He had no more than picked it up and put it against his ear, when his sister-in-law’s voice screamed at him through the handset. “What did you do to her? I swear if you hurt her, I will never forgive you.”

  “Sharon?” Kurt rubbed his eyes, pulled the handset away from his ear to deaden the painful noise. After a moment, the device was silent. He put his ear back to the receiver. “Sharon. What is going on?”

  “What did you do to her?”

  “What are you talking about?” Kurt sat up straighter in the bed, tried to focus. “Who are you talking about?”

  “Cynthia, you big lug head,” Sharon barked at him. “You know, my best friend, the woman you took to the Bocher Foundation appreciation dinner Friday night?”

  “Cynthia?” Kurt was awake now. “What’s happened to her? What’s wrong?”

  Silence reigned on the phone.