Broken

by Lisa Edward

  “I need you to keep fightin’ for us, and part of that is livin’ each day without worryin’ ’bout what is gonna happen tomorrow, or next week or next year.”

  His brow furrowed, unsure where I was going with this.

  “If you were well, what would you wanna do now that you’re back?”

  He smiled, as it dawned on him what I was trying to get to. “I would want to spend the rest of my life with you, being the husband you deserve and the father Brody needs.”

  My mouth opened to speak, but he cut me off.

  “But I’m not well, baby, and I don’t want to burden you with having to grieve for your dead husband.”

  “Don’t you think when the time comes, I’ll grieve for you whether we’re married or not? This is our life, our adventure, and we get to choose how we live it.” I paused. “I wanna be your wife. I wanna be Mrs. Evelyn Walker.” Still holding Adam’s hands in mine, I sank to one knee.

  “Oh, no, you don’t.” He pulled me back up beside him onto the bed. “If anyone’s proposing, it’s going to be me.” With that, he took my place on bended knee. “Evie, I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I do know that every minute I spend with you fills me with enough love to last a lifetime. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, things don’t go as planned, but the things worth having are the things worth fighting for. And you are worth fighting for. So I promise you, I will continue to battle every day, because I don’t want to leave you, or Brody.” He took in a deep breath, his hands shaking. “Evie, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  My head was nodding before the words were out of his mouth. Sinking to my knees, I joined him on the floor, throwing my arms around his neck.

  “Of course I will. I love you so much, Adam.”

  A loud whooping could be heard coming from the living room before Will came racing in, dropping to his knees and joining in on the hug.

  Must remember to turn the baby monitor off.

  Now that it was official, I needed to make a list of wedding preparations. But first on my ever-growing list was to call Angie.

  “Ang, can ya come to the house?”

  “Hello to you too. Is there anythin’ wrong?”

  “No, everythin’s great actually.” I paused. “I’m gettin’ married and I need you.”

  She squealed, nearly bursting my eardrum. “When?”

  “As soon as we can get the marriage license and arrange someone to officiate.”

  I had told Angie about Adam’s condition over the phone the day after he’d arrived home, and she had been in constant contact ever since, worried that I was setting myself up for a devastating fall. But she was also aware of how much I loved Adam and that I had waited for him to return.

  “Okay, let me arrange some time off work and for my mom to mind the kids, and I’ll be there.”

  With the marriage license safely tucked away, I gave Adam the task of finding a celebrant to officiate the ceremony. As soon as discussions were under way, one aspect was perfectly clear—we both wanted something small and intimate, and, if possible, on the beach.

  “Did you wanna invite your family?” I asked, trying to work out if we needed to book a venue. “At the moment it’s only you, me, Will, and Ang.”

  Adam shook his head. “The only person I need there is you.” He leaned over, kissing me softly on the lips.

  “And you need me, of course,” Will added with a sparkle in his eye.

  Adam rolled his eyes. “Of course. How could we do anything without you, Will?”

  I laughed. Will seemed to have become a permanent fixture in our lives.

  Adam took my hand. “I’ll invite all my family to fly over for a visit after the wedding. I know Mum’s dying to meet you and her grandson.”

  That was a great idea and maybe we could rent a house nearby for all of them to stay in.

  We were deep in discussion over the exact location of the ceremony when Angie’s car pulled up outside the house. She had wanted me to go wedding dress shopping in Manhattan, but there were stores enough right here in Southampton to find the perfect gown. So she’d put her life on hold to come and fulfill her duty as my maid of honor. I couldn’t believe it was all coming together and in a few days I would be Adam’s wife.

  As she swung her suitcase from the trunk of her car, I flung the front door open to greet her. She wheeled her case in, leaving it by the door until we could sort out sleeping arrangements.

  “Holy shit,” she exclaimed, looking back and forth between Adam and Will. “Now I’m seein’ double, and I haven’t even had a drink yet.”

  Laughing, I introduced her to Will, and she gave Adam a hug.

  “I believe I’m staying in your room,” Will said, referring to the fact that Angie used the sofa bed in Brody’s room whenever she stayed.

  She grinned mischievously. “Well all right, then, as long as ya don’t snore, I don’t mind sharin’.”

  Will’s eyes gleamed as they swept over Angie.

  “No way,” Adam piped up. “Will, you can sleep out here on the sofa while Angie’s here.”

  Angie pouted, Will scowled, and I wondered how long that arrangement would last before one was sneaking off to seek out the other.

  Adam insisted on us following tradition, so he and Will checked into a little bed-and-breakfast the night before the wedding. As usual, I was up with the sparrows to feed Brody and take Max for a quick walk, only on this morning my stomach was fluttering anxiously with the knowledge that by the end of the day, as the sun was setting, I would become Mrs. Evie Walker.

  Angie had arranged everything from hair and makeup, to a catered lunch complete with champagne to help calm my nerves. As an added extravagance, a massage therapist was booked to help relax Angie and me, and dinner had been preordered for the four of us to enjoy after the ceremony.

  It was all happening, and I was totally overwhelmed.

  “Ya need more champagne,” Angie said, topping off my glass.

  “This is the last one. I wanna remember my weddin’ day.”

  Angie laughed. “You wanna make sure ya marry the right brother. Those boys are identical.”

  I sipped my champagne, and smiled. “Funnily enough, I have no trouble tellin’ ’em apart.”

  “So…Will. What’s the scoop?”

  I knew it was coming. They had been eyeing each other, circling their prey and waiting for the other to make a move.

  “I don’t know much really. His name is Will Walker, he lives in England, and is totally devoted to Adam.” I raised my eyebrows at her. “He’ll be stayin’ here indefinitely, so I guess we’ll be seein’ you a bit more often.”

  She giggled. “Will Walker, as in, Willy Walker. That sounds way too much like Willy Wonka.”

  I bit my lip. “Oh. My. God. I hadn’t thought of that. I wonder if it’s made of chocolate.”

  Her head went back as she laughed out loud. “With two candy balls.”

  “It’s an everlasting gobstopper.”

  “Suck it all day and it never gets smaller!”

  We sat there giggling like a couple of schoolgirls, and all my nerves faded away.

  It had been such a roller-coaster ride with Adam, but there had been so many more ups than downs. I had never doubted how I felt about him, or how he felt about me. Even when he’d made me promise not to come after him, I knew he would come back to me, and he had. He had battled through so much to be here now, on this day, and he would continue to fight because his love for me outweighed anything else in his life. And I would be there beside him, every step of the way.

  Angie helped me into my dress. It was a simple long-sleeved satin gown with beaded detail fashioned into a belt just below the bust. As she positioned pink rosebuds in my hair, I took a few moments to take it all in. I was getting married in less than an hour to the father of my son, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But that was the problem. Adam would spend the rest of his days with me, however long that may be, and a
fter that I would be alone again to mourn the loss of the other half of me.

  Tears threatened to ruin my makeup and I sniffed them away, frantically flapping my hands at my face.

  “There ya go, all ready,” Angie said quietly, taking in the full picture. “Oh, hon, what’s wrong?”

  I shook my head at her. If I tried to speak I would completely lose it, and there would be no turning off the faucet once the floodgates opened.

  Angie’s arms wrapped around me, and my breath hitched in my throat. “Let it out, hon. Better now than standin’ in front of Adam cryin’ all over him.”

  Unable to hold it in, I held tissues under my eyes to catch the tears. I had tried so hard to be brave, to stay positive and pretend that everything was right in the universe, but the universe sucked, because it let me meet Adam and fall in love with him, and now it was rubbing its greedy hands together, preparing to snatch him from me.

  How did any of that make sense? How could Brody losing his dad be anything but wrong and unfair?

  Taking a deep, calming breath, I tried to focus. It was our wedding day, and if nothing else, I wanted this to be the most special day for Adam. I knew he’d spent a lot of time thinking of me while he was ill, and who knew what lay ahead for him. I wanted this evening to be a precious memory that he could lock in his heart and visit whenever he needed to escape the reality of his illness.

  Angie handed me a small bouquet of pale pink rosebuds; then she wrapped Brody in a warm blanket. He had been dressed in a tuxedo onesie for the occasion, but there was a chill in the air because the sun was about to set, and his warmth was more important than his outfit.

  “Are ya ready?” She grinned.

  “I shouldn’t be wearin’ white.” I smiled sadly, looking down at my beautiful gown. “This is my second marriage and I have a child. White is virginal.”

  “Well, you’re certainly no virgin,” she joked, earning a slap on the arm. “But this is the first time you’ll be makin’ a commitment to the right man, so I reckon you can be forgiven for treatin’ this as your first true weddin’ to the man you truly love.”

  Max ran ahead. He seemed to know where Adam was, although we couldn’t see him from the house, and went straight to the rocks. Angie and I followed behind, barefoot, carrying our bouquets and Brody. With a bit of care, we managed to step through the rocks before rounding the cliff face to the little alcove.

  It was breathtaking. Adam and Will had obviously spent quite some time, decorating the area for this special occasion. Fairy lights had been strung up around the rocks, and a heart made from pink roses lay on the sand in the middle of the clearing.

  But all that beauty paled as I looked at Adam dressed in his tuxedo, his eyes shining with so much promise, and hope, and love.

  He was the love of my life. He made my heart soar with just the simplest glance, giving me butterflies and all those wonderful warm and fuzzy feelings you get when you know for sure you are with the one.

  Angie took Brody and waited beside Will, while Adam came toward me. With one hand outstretched, he guided me to the center of the rose heart.

  “This looks beautiful, babe,” I said, still looking around in awe at the decorations.

  “I’m glad you like it.” He shook his head, his eyes running up and down my body. “You look stunning, Evie. I feel like I’m dreaming, but if it is a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up.” He brought my hands to his lips, kissing the back of each tenderly. “This is all I’ve wanted, since I first learned about love. To find someone to share my life with, but in my wildest dreams, I never imagined it would be someone as wonderful and caring and breathtakingly beautiful as you.”

  Dabbing at my eyes, I leaned in to Adam, resting my forehead to his. “I’m here for you. To support you, and care for you, but most of all, to love you. Lean on me when you need to, because in so many ways you’ve helped me when I’ve needed to lean on you.”

  “That’s what love is.”

  “And that’s what we have.”

  Vowing our love for each other as the sun set with our closest family beside us was the perfect way to start this new chapter of our lives together. As Adam was told he could kiss his bride, Will and Angie stepped in and wrapped their arms around us, surrounding us with love and support.

  We knew there was a tough road ahead of us. Adam was not cured, but for now, he was still alive and we would fight this together.

  EPILOGUE

  EVIE WALKER

  Pulling the blanket tighter around my body for warmth, I gazed down through misted eyes at Adam’s journals, as they lay on the sand before me. It had been twelve months since he’d handed them to me on our wedding night, telling me that if I wanted to know all the secrets they held, when I felt ready I could read them.

  I hadn’t wanted to at the time, not wanting to look anywhere but toward our future. I’d wrapped them in my yellow sweater and shoved them in a drawer, certain I would never get them out. But that was then. Finally, I felt strong enough emotionally to know all the hard truths.

  My gorgeous diamond ring sparkled in the early morning sun, and I kissed it lightly before tentatively reaching for the second journal and removing the bookmark that held my place. Over the past few mornings I had read of the exact moment Adam had been diagnosed, all the anger, despair, and fear woven through the pages. I could tell immediately the way he was feeling by his handwriting, the blue ink bold or faint, printed neatly or scrawled, his mood shining through. I had read of Adam’s decision to not go through with the surgery, and been swallowed by my own despair as I read of his decision to come to the Hamptons where he would decide his own fate.

  And he had decided.

  Meeting me had been the most remarkable turning point for Adam, and just knowing that filled me with so much pride. I was proud that I’d had such an impact on his life, but I was also proud of Adam for choosing to fight.

  For choosing to live.

  As I read Adam’s deepest thoughts, I related those times to my own experiences, the other half of the story. All my fears over Annabel had been totally unwarranted as I read how Adam had thought only of me while he was in Philadelphia and how he had driven for hours without a break to come back as quickly as possible.

  Turning the page, I smiled, knowing where we were up to in our love story. And there it was, taped to one side of the page, the photo of Adam and me at the ice rink. Tears filled my eyes as I traced the curve of Adam’s strong jawline with my fingertips. It was still one of my favorite photos of the two of us together, but now there were many more that sat proudly on the mantel above the fireplace. From wedding photos to beautiful family portraits, we had captured every treasured moment.

  As I flicked to the next entry in the journal, my heart thudded against my chest. Adam had alluded to how strongly he felt about me over the last dozen or so pages, declaring his love for me in so many ways, but here it was in unmistakable big bold capital letters.

  I WANT TO MARRY EVIE.

  I can’t believe only a few weeks ago I was ready to give up, waiting to die, just wishing it would hurry up and happen. Now, I have a reason to fight, a reason to live, and an end goal in sight.

  She’s saved my life.

  Every smile, every touch, every tender kiss has breathed fresh hope into me and I will never give up. I’m ready to face whatever life throws at me, because I know at the end of it all I’ll have Evie in my arms as my wife.

  So many times I have wanted to tell her the truth, to ask her to come to England with me, but I don’t want her to see me weak and sick, lying in a hospital bed and puking from the chemo. I want to come back here to the Hamptons healthy, and be the man she deserves so she will want to spend the rest of her life with me.

  Growing old with someone was something I never thought would happen. Now when I think of the future, all I see is Evie.

  Tears sprang to my eyes and I put the journal down as his words rang in my mind. I had saved his life, but I’d never thought to tell him how
he had saved mine. How his faith in me had given me the courage to be the person I had always wanted to be. To follow my dreams, feeling his love and support surrounding me like angel’s wings.

  Reading the journal, it suddenly dawned on me why I felt my writing of late had been lacking. How could I write about happily-ever-afters and grand love affairs when those stories didn’t hold a candle to our own real life? From the moment we met, my life with Adam had been more of a fairy tale than anything anyone could ever imagine and put into print.

  Adam’s story deserved to be told, not just in these journals, but also in a way that could give hope to people who faced dire adversity in their lives. People who needed to know that they were not alone.

  Adam’s story could give them the courage to fight.

  But it had to be handled in just the right way. I didn’t want him to be remembered for the tumor, because there was so much more. He wasn’t a walking disease, as he had put it. He was a passionate, talented, generous man whose heart was also filled with love and compassion…and an island, just for me.

  Max bound toward the water, flicking up sand as he passed. Laughing at his enthusiasm on this cold morning, I delighted in his predictability as he chased the seagulls, barking excitedly.

  More sand was flicked up as a naked, bearded man jogged past. Turning to face me, he continued toward the water, jogging backward.

  “Are you coming in, Buttercup?”

  Slipping my arms from the blanket, the chill in the air hit my skin. “It’s freezin’ this mornin’, Sugar. Maybe I’ll sit this one out.”

  He smiled. “Will’s watching Brody, and he promised not to look out the window.”

  “And you believe him this time?”

  His rich laugh warmed me. “No, not really, although he is pretty preoccupied with Angie coming to stay for the weekend.”

  Shaking my head, I pulled the blanket tighter.

  He shrugged, his eyes dancing as they scanned my face. “It’s your life, your adventure. How will you choose to live it?”