Duet Rubato

by Claerie Kavanaugh

  These riding lessons won’t be so bad after all.

  “What?” she asks, cocking her head as her cheeks darken. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  I blink and close my parted lips. Crap. “No reason,” I sputter. “You, um, look good in Western wear.”

  Addie smiles and sets a hand on her hip. “Catie Klarken, have I finally found a way to turn you on?” Sparks of electricity lick at my veins as heat pulses through my lower region.

  “N-no.” Her arms snake around my back and I lean into the embrace as she nibbles at my exposed collarbone.

  “Are you sure?”

  My pulse beats harder beneath her touch as she places a kiss on my bare shoulder before meeting my eyes.

  “Well,” I amend, swallowing against the want slowly overtaking my senses. “A little.”

  Addie’s grin widens before her lips crash against mine. The contact makes me stiffen, as it’s harder and rougher than what we’ve done before, but not unpleasant. Not by a long shot. My arms twine about her neck and my fingers entangle themselves in her thick locks. When she lets out a small but distinct moan of pleasure as I deepen the kiss, my tongue darts out to roam over her ruby-painted lips. The moaning increases, as does the fire coiling in my sternum. She lets me in and I delight in the feeling of her trembling frame beneath mine as my arms slide down to wrap around her waist.

  But as quickly as the spell overtakes us, the sounds of students leaving the corral send me crashing back to earth.

  “Lyn,” I pant against her. “We can’t. We’re in—”

  “Fuck where we are,” she growls back, deepening the kiss again. “I want you.”

  My body surrenders as she shoves me back against the wooden framing of the barn.

  “Me too.”

  “Ahem!”

  My eyes spring open and I leap sideways upon catching sight of a thirty-something male trainer with bright blue eyes and a scruffy brown beard glaring at us from the entry to the hallway.

  “Wha—” Addie stumbles forward and manages to catch herself before head-butting the wall. “The hell, Cate?” she seethes, shooting daggers. “I thought we were—”

  “Prepping for your lesson?” asks the man.

  Addie gasps and whirls around, her complexion two shades lighter. “Fuck.”

  He smirks. “Yes, I could see that. Glad you found a girl, after all this time.”

  My brows shoot up as I glance between the man and Addie, who scratches the back of her neck.

  “Um, hi Jack,” Addie mutters.

  “Good to see you again,” he replies, the laugh lines around his eyes crinkling. “I was startin’ to think you’d forgotten about us, runnin’ all over kingdom come for ol’ Hell on Wheels.”

  I slap a palm over my mouth to stifle a chuckle, but Addie snorts outright.

  “You know I could never do that.” The last traces of embarrassment vanish with the smile. She strides over and stands next to Jack. “Besides, even if I did, you’d miss me too much.”

  “Darn right,” Jack replies, clapping her shoulder. “Someone’s gotta keep those stalls mucked.” Addie rolls her eyes. I frown and look between the two of them.

  “Since when does she do that?” I direct the question at Jack, but Addie answers.

  “After I dropped out, I couldn’t find work when I moved. Got lost on the way to an interview one day about a mile from the stable. I hiked along until I found this place and Jack took pity on me when I explained. Hired me on as a hand until May when I tried again at Bright Light. Taught me everything I know about riding.”

  My mouth drops. “You’ve done this before?”

  Addie shrugs and ducks her head. “A little.”

  Jack lets out a hearty “Ha!” before grinning. “Girl’s too modest for her own good. She’s a natural.”

  Addie flushes. “Really, I’m not.”

  “Sure you are,” Jack counters. “And your friend will be too once I’m done with her.”

  I laugh, twining my hands together so the knuckles turn white. “I hope so.”

  Jack nods. “Trust me, it’ll be a piece of cake.”

  Yeah. Giant cake. Out in the corral, Jack leads a large female horse into the center of the ring. She has long white-blond hair, a cream-colored coat, and big brown eyes. She’s also three times as tall as me and hasn’t stopped chomping on the square piece of metal holding her bridal in place since Jack commanded her to stop.

  “You want me to ride that?” I ask, pointing a shaking finger at the large muzzle.

  Jack laughs. “Yeah, that’s the idea.”

  “And it’s not a thing, Cate,” Addie chimes in. “Her name is Blue Bell. She’s one of the gentlest horses here.”

  I scoff. “Compared to what? The bucking bronco outside?” I stumble back. “Nuh-uh. No way. Nothing you can say will make me sit on that skyscraper of an animal.”

  “Oh, come on, it’s not that high.”

  I snort “To who? Goliath?”

  Jack frowns. “How are you ever going to learn to ride if you don’t get on the horse?”

  My hands fist. “Who said I wanted to anyway? I didn’t know what we were doing until we got here!”

  Jack quirks a brow at Addie. “You didn’t tell her?”

  Addie gives him an apologetic glance before turning to me. “Um, can we talk for a second?”

  I cross my arms. But then she fixes me with those wide hazel eyes, her lip trembling, and I relent. “Fine.” I let out a long sigh. “But this better be good.”

  Her shoulders sag and she grabs my hand, dragging us into the lobby again.

  “Look.” She launches into the explanation before I protest. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, okay? But please, can we try this? I know it seems stupid, but it will help in the long run.”

  “Help with what?” I spit. “Addie, that horse is huge, and wild, and high. How could getting on that thing—” My eyes widen as the pieces fall into place. “Wait a second. This was your plan?” Addie nods and I scowl, hitting my forehead with the heel of my hand. “Adaline.” I take a few deep breaths. “What does learning to ride a horse have to do with my situation?”

  Addie shrugs. “You said it yourself, Cate. Blue Bell is high.”

  “Exactly! And I’m afraid of heights. Ergo, I’m afraid of Blue Bell.”

  Addie sighs. “I know, but what was it you told me the other day? We shouldn’t let our fears stop us from getting what we want?”

  I grimace. Fudge. I did say that. “Well, yeah, but—”

  “And the way to get over a fear is to face it. This way, you’ll be able to get used to being up high again. Jack will lead you, like Sebastian in “Dancing Through Life.”

  I laugh. “I hardly think those are the same thing, Lyn.”

  “Work with me here,” Addie retorts. “It’s okay to be scared, but you can’t give up. Not on this. Not if this show is something you want.”

  “I do.” More than you know.

  Addie nods. “All right then.” She squeezes my hand, standing so close our lips could touch. “Do you trust me?”

  In response, I close the gap between us. Addie smiles beneath the kiss. “Then let’s do this.”

  Gravel crunches beneath Blue Bell’s hooves, but I focus on the trail ahead. Addie was right. Getting on nearly gave me a heart attack, but with the light fall breeze rustling the changing leaves of the trees lining the path and the rhythmic sway of Blue Bell’s body beneath me, it’s relaxing.

  “How ya doin’ back there, champ?” Jack asks from the head of our small herd.

  I smile. “I’m okay. This is kinda fun.”

  Addie beams next to me and Jack grins. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself. We’ve got a little way to go before we’ll circle back to the barn. You gonna be okay to follow the river a bit longer?”

  “Sure.”

  At a shallow bank, Jack directs all three of the horses to the stream. Addie’s gives a satisfied and excited whinny. The horse drinks, but a mi
nute later she wades a little farther into the water and drops onto her hindquarters.

  “Jack, what?” I watch as Addie lets out a startled yelp and slides off her back before she rolls to the side, neighing happily as she splashes into the water.

  “Harriet!” Jack calls, trotting out to rein in the horse.

  “Fuck!”

  “Lyn!” I call out, squeezing my legs. I catch up and slow to a stop next to her, waded in the river up to Blue Bell’s hindquarters. “You okay?”

  “Fine,” she says, stepping onto the bank and glancing at the bottom of her pants, which are dripping wet. “A bit soaked, but fi—”

  Her horse lets out another whinny, shaking her mane toward Blue Bell and causing my stomach to drop. “Whoa, girl!”

  But she doesn’t listen, rearing into the air.

  “Catie!” Addie screams.

  My own shout is swallowed by the jerk of Blue Bell’s body. I clutch her saddle horn, but she throws her back legs up. Before I know it, I’m staring at the sky with the air as a buoy beneath me. The thump knocks the wind out of me and I come to my senses in time as the freezing water soaks through my clothes. Blue Bell has flipped herself on her back, splashing Addie’s horse and letting out a series of happy neighs. Feet slosh through the river and then Addie is kneeling next to me while Jack reins the two wayward horses in.

  “Catherine, are you all right?”

  I take the hand she offers and together we haul to our feet. “I, I think so.” I glare at the horse, who’s fighting Jack every step of the way out of the river. “That horse has a devil streak.”

  Addie laughs a “Like someone else I know.” She tugs on the tip of my soaked curls and I blush. Maybe I can conquer this fear after all.

  Catie brought up our horseback riding adventure to her therapist during their Tuesday appointment. She had encouraged her to keep trying alternative methods as long as they helped, rather than hurt, her progress in coping with her fear of heights.

  I sure hope she meant it.

  “Girls, are you ready?” Hector, our climbing coach, tosses Catie a look as I heft the harness over my shoulders and, one by one, tighten the straps.

  “Coming!” I clip the last buckle together and look over my shoulder to the bench. Catie’s head is bowed, hair hiding her expression as she fiddles with the clasp clipping the harness around her chest. Her fingers shake. And her foot hasn’t stopped tapping out the rhythm to “Under Attack” from Mamma Mia! since we got here.

  Dammit.

  Maybe this is too quick. After all, she did just get on a horse for the first time since the accident. And as much as she’d insisted she’d had fun in spite of the water incident, rock climbing is quite a jump from straddling the back of a stallion. Even the shortest adult-sized structure looms about fifteen feet over us. Hell, the sight makes me a little jittery.

  “Girls?” Hector asks, glancing at the line forming by the front desk. It’s snaking around part of the room and I groan. Of course he has other customers. My gaze snaps back to Catie. Her posture hasn’t changed, and her foot is tapping so hard I’m convinced she’s going to crack a floorboard. I clench my fists and a sick feeling curdles my stomach. I hate seeing her so scared, more so knowing I’m the one who caused it. But she has to do this. If she doesn’t, there’s no way in hell she’ll survive the bubble, or Hellsworth’s wrath, sure to come if she fails. I can’t let that happen. I won’t. Not if I can do something about it.

  Sighing, I unstrap my own harness, let it fall to the floor, and motion five minutes. Hector’s brows crease, and he looks at the line before nodding and tapping an invisible watch on his wrist. I mouth thank you before heading toward the bench and sitting down.

  “Hey.” I brush my hand against her leg. She looks up at the contact, blond hair falling over her shoulders. Her focus remains on her hand though, typing out a text before she sets the device down.

  “Hey,” she whispers, still toying with the buckle.

  “How you doing?”

  Her fingers still and she flushes. “Oh. Um.” She bites her lip as her eyes dart to the dark phone screen. “I’m, I’m fine.” The buckle slips from her hand and she picks it up, brows crinkling as she forces the two pieces together. “Or, I will be, once I get this stupid strap to—gah!” She throws them away and I stifle a snicker behind a half-smile as I place a hand on her shoulder.

  “I’m an idiot.”

  “What?” Blinking, she shakes her head. “No, you’re not. Why would you say that?”

  Squeezing her shoulder, I offer a small smile. “You’ve been fiddling with this thing for the last five minutes,” I say, holding up the silver buckle. “These harnesses may be old, but they still work.”

  Catie blushes.

  I set the harness strap back down and comb my hair behind my ear. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

  Catie’s hands twine together in her lap. I stand to retrieve my bag from the lockers in the changing room, but her warm skin brushes against mine.

  “Catie?”

  She gives me a long, kind look. Her gaze rakes up the climbing wall, shining blue eyes hardening into steel as they rest on the harness strewn across her lap. “Yes,” she says, soft but firm. “I do.”

  Catie gets to her feet and takes slow, deliberate steps toward Hector, harness dangling at her side. “Cate, wait!” I catch up, twining my arm through hers. She stops, lips pursing as she faces me. I sigh. “Look, I love that you’re trying to be brave, but, are you sure? I know this is a big step and if you’re not ready—”

  She places two fingers on my lips. I cock my head.

  “Lyn, listen. I appreciate you trying to protect me, but you were right the first time. I have to push myself. If I keep waiting until I’m ‘ready’,” she scoffs and places air quotes around the word. I wince. “I might never be. My relationship with my daughter depends on me keeping this job.”

  Wait, what? What the fuck does that mean?

  But she charges forward.

  “And I’m not going to let fear stop me from trying.”

  “Wow.” How else can I respond? “Well, as long as you’re sure.”

  She smiles and gives me a sharp nod. “I am.” She disentangles her arm and continues toward Hector while I turn back in search of my own harness, one phrase ringing in my ears. My relationship with my daughter depends on me keeping this job. I mean, seriously, what the actual hell?

  As I bend down to scoop my harness off the floor, a vibration catches my attention. My gaze travels to the bench. Catie’s phone is centimeters away from sliding off the edge. She has it face down, and I force myself not to check the screen once it stops buzzing in my hand after I pick it up.

  “Here you go.” I pass the device over once I reach Catie and Hector at the far-left end of the climbing wall.

  Catie smiles and cups it in her grip. I hold onto it for a moment too long, and clench my jaw against the tiny, green-eyed monster.

  Get a grip, Addie. The call could’ve been from anyone. Hell, it could’ve come from Hellsworth. Or Frank. Maybe she wants to move rehearsal up.

  True. But then, shouldn’t I have a missed call too?

  “Addie?” Catie waves a hand in front of my face and I blink away the sleep-deprived fog taking over my brain. “Are you okay?”

  “Yep.” I make an effort to sound chipper, but an overenthusiastic yell comes out. “Peachy.”

  Catie frowns. I smile so wide my cheeks hurt and she stifles a laugh. “Okay. Well, you wanna get going?” She jerks her thumb back toward Hector, who’s scowling at us from the climbing wall and gesturing to the still growing line of new customers. “Hector has another group coming in forty-five minutes.”

  With a grin, I let the tension sag from my shoulders. What am I thinking? Catie’s not cheating. It’s probably the fatigue talking. I haven’t gotten more than four hours of sleep since auditions began. “Let’s go.”

  Catie leans into me as I drape my arm around her shoulder
s. As Hector is hooking our harnesses to the ropes, her phone buzzes in her pocket. Her hand finds its way to the fabric.

  “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you earlier. It was buzzing so much it almost slid right off the bench.”

  “Really?” she squeaks, offering a somewhat strained laugh. The reaction is a little odd, but I brush it off, considering what we’re about to do.

  “Yeah. Someone must want your attention.” I nudge her side and flash what I hope is a playful smirk. “You got a secret S.O. I don’t know about?”

  She rolls her eyes and shrugs, but the rebuff is a half-hearted, “Shut up.”

  I raise a brow and pucker my lips and her complexion grows lighter as she pulls out her cell and taps out a quick reply.

  “Everything all right?” I ask, stopping myself before I read over her shoulder, though I do catch the phrases forgot, rock climbing, and meet you in an hour, before she sends it off with a whoosh and closes the app.

  “Yep.”

  Hector plants his hands on his hips. “No phones in the climbing area,” he snaps.

  “Sorry.” Catie flushes, but hurries to our bags on the bench, dropping her cell in before returning and letting one of the other climbing coaches hook her in. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  “Come on, Catie,” I shout. “You can do it!” I’m five pulls from the top. She’s dangling below me and to the left, her face beaded in sweat.

  “Lyn, I, I can’t. I’m going to fall!”

  I shake my head and reach out. “No, you’re not. And you’re not quitting. Come on, take my hand. I’ll pull you up to the next hold.”

  Catie whimpers and scans the gym for Hector. She screams and clings to the rock-like structure, clamping her eyes shut. “I, I was wrong, Lyn. This.” Her face has turned a ghoulish shade of green and she sputters out the next words. “This is too high, too fast. I’m—”

  “No!” I drop down so I’m directly at her side. “You can do this, Catie. You said you didn’t want to let fear control your life anymore, right?”