SURVIVAL

by Karen Payton Holt

  Julian smiled, genuine amusement in his eyes. “Take it easy, Charles. It’s busy. Are you on your own today?” He jerked his head at the growing number of vampires filtering into the dispensary reception area.

  “The super-tanker noma... um mariners caused a hold-up. I’ll be back on track in no time,” said Charles.

  Julian scooped up the vials of blood offered, placed six of them in his pocket and drank the remaining two.

  Indicating the growing throng, Julian said, “They have nothing better to do, right now, just remember that. However, I do.” With a half salute, he turned and left the dispensary. As he headed toward the exit, an agitated voice cut through the air.

  “Julian!”

  He whipped around, and seeing Anthony’s worried face, he retraced his steps.

  “Sorry. Principal Julian.” Anthony corrected hastily.

  “I think Julian is fine, under the circumstances.”

  He dropped a hand onto Anthony’s shoulder. His face was whiter than Julian had ever seen it.

  Anthony jerked his head towards the door of an examination room, and Julian followed him inside.

  “The blood tests are back.” Anthony’s brows rose pointedly. Even in privacy he was not going to say her name.

  “Ah, good, but she’s somewhat recovered. Dialysis will not be necessary, it’s not the venom in her system,” Julian responded. I had forgotten Anthony took her blood.

  “There’s an anomaly.”

  “Yes, we discovered that for ourselves. Well, our friend did. He’s back with us now.” Julian’s direct stare filled in the gaps as he waited for realization to hit.

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Anthony chose his words carefully. “The blood test showed inhibitory neurotransmitter levels consistent with a vampire in revival sleep. I wondered if her fatigue could be the result of... relaxation. A fetus hydrating a developing brain center.” Anthony glanced around and snapped his jaw shut. He had said enough.

  “Thank you, Anthony, that’s useful to know. We’re in the dark here.” Julian’s lips quirked wryly. “Our mutual friend will be grateful that you’re on the team.”

  “Err, can I ask to be kept informed, from a research point of view.” Anthony’s curiosity burst from him. “But how?”

  “At this point, no one knows.” Julian made no attempt to hide his disquiet. “There’s a dangerous road ahead for all of us. I’m going to check on the patient now, and I’ll pass on your concerns.”

  Anthony opened the door again. “If there is anything I can do... ”

  “I’ll let you know,” Julian said as he took his departure.

  The streets of London were a shimmering tapestry of gray slabs racing beneath his feet as at last, he set out for the eco-shelter. Passing through the woods, Julian shuffled everything he needed to do into an order. Feed Connor. Check on Rebekah. Get the plans to move the humans out underway, piece of cake! But will Leizle cooperate? I think not.

  Chapter 19

  Connor listened to Rebekah’s stuttering breathing and frowned. Even while she slept, each time the baby kicked, she held her breath. His fear of hurting her grew more urgent with each passing day. Her ravenous hunger for his body was finally fading. He grinned. He must be the first man on the planet who felt relief when his lover’s appetite waned.

  Being with her, feeling her body respond to his, continued to fascinate and excite him, but the specter of hurting her was growing into a larger monster. He had used all the vials Julian had left, and now, the darkness in the cavern shimmered as he lay on his back with Rebekah resting on his chest.

  It was not only the baby who craved her blood. Connor ran through the exchange where he said to Greg, Oscar, or even Leizle, ‘Hey, after you’ve had lunch, do you fancy letting me take a bite out of you?’ Where the hell are you, Julian?

  As if his thoughts conjured his presence, Connor heard the wraithlike whisper of Julian calling his name in a drifting echo meant for his ears only. Thank god.

  Relief drove Connor from Rebekah’s side, although he still took time to replace his solid bulk with a bolster cushion of support. In a hurricane of activity, he raced his own shadow along the tunnels and into the dining cavern, coming to a stop with a flourish which sprayed fragments of dried earth into the air.

  “Julian.” Connor strode forward, frowning as he finished buttoning his shirt.

  “Enjoying becoming a father, then?” Julian quipped, but, remembering Anthony’s words, his expression became serious.

  “I’ve left Rebekah sleeping, but for how long, who knows?” Connor’s stiff features barely moved as he said, “Sorry to be blunt, but have you brought human blood?”

  Julian’s sharp look took in the clay-colored undertone to his friend’s white complexion, the skin stretched tight across his cheekbones, and the dull glaze of his eyes. Connor’s fingers trembled as he buttoned his shirt collar. In vampire terms, that Julian even had time to see the button in Connor’s fingertips meant he was running in slow motion.

  “Of course.” He took two vials from his pocket and tossed them into the air.

  Connor caught them, drained both and tossed back the empties.

  “Are you okay?” asked Julian.

  Connor crossed the cavern and sank down on a wooden bench.

  “Early signs of human blood starvation. Disturbed vision, inner ear coagulation, tendon tremor.” A clinical diagnosis tripped from Connor’s lips as he flexed his diaphragm, inflating and compressing his thorax, effectively massaging his heart to simulate circulation. “I’ll be okay, now.”

  “But for how long?” This conversation had no high points. I have only bad news. “It looks like you needed that just to return you to ground zero. I have two more day’s supply. But, what if I don’t get back in time?”

  “If I become unstable, I’ll leave.”

  “Can’t you feed?” Julian already knew the answer.

  “From Rebekah? No, she’s having trouble making enough blood to feed the baby. I think he has thirsty vampire tissue. She looks drained all the time.” Connor slanted a cunning glance at Julian. “There’s always Leizle.” He laughed as a warning flashed in Julian’s eyes. “I thought not,” he chuckled. “She asks after you, by the way. She worries that you seem busy.”

  “It’s probably best that I am busy.” Julian’s eyes were cold. It’ll be safer for her if she moves out with the others, and easier for me.

  Julian touched the remaining four vials of blood still in his pocket. It meant four days of survival to Connor, but two were his own. “I don’t know when I can come again.”

  “Why? What has happened?”

  “The council guardsmen are mobilizing. They are coming here to capture the humans. Sebastian and Serge have made their move.”

  “They can’t mobilize without your order,” said Connor, understanding dawning as he shot a searching glance at Julian. “You’ve given the order. How long?”

  “I delayed them as long as I could, but, only four days. Marius pushed me.”

  “Thank you, every day of warning is a gift.”

  “Connor, you need to move them out.”

  “They are ready. I even got through to Harry.” Connor grimaced. “There’s no persuading Leizle and Oscar, and of course Rebekah stays with me.”

  “I wish I could say I’m surprised. I know it’s no consolation, but at least I’m in control of the attack.”

  “I hope I won’t have to kill you.” Connor laughed, but they both knew it was a warning.

  “I will declare myself if it comes to that. It’s Sebastian you must look out for, he thinks you are dead and he’s after Rebekah.” Julian growled gently. “There’s no other reason he would risk the Council’s wrath when forty humans proves to be a lie.”

  “Forty?” Connor laughed, harshly.

  Julian drew another two vials of human blood from his pocket. “This will see you through for a couple of days. If you can sleep, three, maybe.” Julian handed them over. “You may have to
ask... someone.”

  “They know what we are, sure. But knowing it, and being bitten by it, are not the same thing.” Connor mulled over the candidates. “I’ll consider it.”

  “Good, but perhaps it’s better if you don’t tell me, hmm?” Julian rested his hand on Connor’s shoulder.

  Connor laughed. They both knew that if he fed from Leizle, Julian would smell his venom.

  “I better get going.”

  Julian exited the dining cavern and turned left instead of right, taking the tunnel which led deeper into the eco-shelter. His skin glowed as the dim bulbs in the bulkhead lights flickered with each pulse of the generator. The constant humming was loud to his ears, but not as loud as Leizle’s breathing. He focused on her voice as she began to hum nervously, and he smiled.

  Does she know I’m here? The smile dissolved as he realized why he was.

  If he had a beating heart it would have been pounding. I have no idea where to start. He paused outside, absorbing the sounds and scent of her and locking them inside. They may have to last awhile... forever, maybe.

  When he reached Leizle’s open doorway, Julian retreated into shadow as he gauged her mood, sensing that her emotions were having an epic battle with reason. Maybe I won’t have to hurt her. She’s already wrapping her heart in stone.

  He felt like a coward as he hoped she would help him, and that her head would rule her seventeen-year-old heart.

  The wall of the cavern blurred as tears filled her eyes and Leizle wiped them away with the back of her hand. Maybe Julian will never find Connor’s strength. Unlike him, I don’t have forever. And the waiting was killing her. “It’s for the best.” Leizle breathed.

  “What’s for the best?” Julian hid his face in the shadows.

  She jumped, darting a glance over her shoulder. Turning quickly away again, on a deep breath, she said, “I’ve decided not to wait. I have a life to live. I can’t wait for you.”

  Her racing heart told Julian how hard this was for her. He studied her determined profile and whispered, “You’re right not to wait.” Her breath hissed quietly, and he chose the refuge of sinking deeper into revival sleep, stamping down the urge to close the space between them and change her mind.

  “Goodbye,” she said.

  It was a brave try, but the tremor in her voice stirred a shower of splintered glass in his chest.

  “Goodbye,” he whispered and vanished.

  The night air dragged over his set expression as he crossed the meadow. Accelerating as he entered the woodland, he skimmed the tree trunks, leaving scraps of dark cloth behind as they shredded his coat.

  She’s stronger than I thought. But she was wrong if she thought he had failed her. I want it too much to fail.

  He had lived in a vacuum for two hundred years. No one chose immortality, but he had done more than that. Eva’s death stole my appetite for life and I chose death. Julian smiled grimly. Only when he became a vampire did he realize that the scoundrels and thieves of London were a good food source. Their smoky unwashed stench was repulsive, but they were never missed. And with every heart he drained, his own became colder and harder.

  This year would be his two hundredth anniversary of emptiness.

  He had put ten miles between him and Leizle before he realized he wasn’t empty now, and that she fulfilled him. He turned around and shed his tattered coat without breaking his stride. Minutes later, he was standing, as before, in the shadowed tunnel outside Leizle’s den, working out what to say.

  Six yards away, sitting hunched over and hugging her middle, Leizle was lost in a world where all the men she knew were old enough to be her father, and she had just made the biggest mistake of her life by lying to Julian.

  She leapt to her feet and sprinted for the doorway.

  He’ll be angry. She could hear him lecturing her now. The battle of words played out in her head. ‘How many times have I told you, Leizle?’. “Yes, Julian, I do know...” she muttered. Vampires don’t need headlamps, and wrapping the motorcycle around a tree will seriously damage my health. “So? I don’t care.”

  She left her cavern, entered the dark tunnel, and barreled forward into a fast run.

  She appeared like a beautiful apparition sprinting towards him. Bending his knees to absorb the impact, Julian waited to catch her.

  The collision with a cold smooth wall winded Leizle, and she struggled to regain her balance. Julian slipped his hands around her waist and hitched her up his body, closing his mouth over hers and stealing what little oxygen she had left. He inhaled her essence and yearning flowed like hot lava through him, pooling in his stomach and warming his groin. The growl in his throat rumbled inside his chest.

  Leizle’s head reeled, but instinctively, she recognized him and kissed him back.

  He began walking, feathering his lips over hers as he returned to her cavern.

  The light in her den laced gold through his hair as she buried her hands in it. She pulled him closer as he lowered her down onto the mattress and settled his body next to hers. With a whisper of space between them, he deepened the kiss, molding his lips urgently to hers.

  “You don’t have to wait.” He moved her hair back from her face, lacing his fingers into it, and his thumb traced down to rest on the pulse thudding in her throat. “You don’t have to wait.”

  His tangled hair framed his face and he had never looked fiercer than he did at that moment. Intensity hollowed his cheeks, and a battle raged in his eyes. “I can do this, Red,” he whispered, as his hand skimmed down her body.

  “You came back.”

  “I never really left, not in here.” He took her hand and held it to his silent chest. “If I had one, it would be yours,” he said.

  “You have a heart, Julian. I see it every time I look in your eyes.”

  “I waited two hundred years to feel like this.” Julian’s smile was apologetic. “I’m not going anywhere, even if it would be better if I did.”

  “I don’t want you to go.” Leizle ran her fingertips along his jawline, still checking that he was really there.

  Reading her mind, he said, “I’m here.”

  As he kissed her again, he closed the space between them and her heartbeat echoed in his chest. His hands tingled as they spanned her back and slipped inside her sweatshirt. Pushing it up, he felt the turbulent current of her rushing blood vibrate through him. Venom flooded his mouth and his shoulders knotted with need as she trembled in his arms. The heat of her thighs branded his skin as Leizle groaned and pressed closer, her questing hands tugging open his shirt.

  Burying his face in her shoulder, Julian mumbled, “Not today.”

  Her breath caught in her throat as he smiled against her skin. “Just not today Leizle. You’ve never been with a man.” Julian raised his face to look at her. “I’m still a man. I want to, you know that. But I want it to be right.”

  He welcomed her penetrating look, waiting until her smile chased the clouds of doubt in her troubled gaze away. He leant in to kiss her shoulder, finding restraint he never knew he had. The pulse beating in her neck drew his mouth. He laid his lips on her carotid artery, and they stung as if blistering with sunburn. He thought of Connor being here, needing her blood, and doing this.

  His voice grated as he said, “Can I bite?”

  Excitement coursed through Leizle at his words. Her pulse quickened and he could hear the turbulence of it as a hypnotizing whisper. He lifted her shoulders from the bed and his breath fanned her neck in chilled expectation.

  “Can I bite?” he whispered again, and as she took a breath to answer, he closed his jaws firmly. Anticipation of biting into her fragrant flesh tightened his body, and before he filled his mouth with her blood, his throat vibrated with a guttural sigh of ecstasy.

  Julian’s vision blurred to red. Pleasure shot through every nerve ending and his thirsty tissue ached. His jaws clamped down hard, and like dry earth waiting for rain, he drowned in the cocktail of her moisture. Leizle clung to him, gripping h
is shoulders, and his restraint faltered. I have to stop. He drew in a final deep draft of her blood and froze. Settling his thigh in between hers, he pulled her closer, moving in a gentle rhythm which dragged his hunger from his throat down into his groin. On a deep sigh he relaxed his jaw, and stroking his lips over her skin, he found the will to pull away.

  Julian clawed his way back from the edge. He gathered his senses and the bloodlust dispersed like the hot pinprick sparks of a fading firework. He traced a soothing tongue over the wound in Leizle’s neck and sighed.

  Holding her, Julian fitted her body into his, her soft breasts and stomach brushing the hard planes of his chest. She played her fingers over his collarbone and shoulder as though she couldn’t bear to not touch him. Still making sure I’m here, Julian guessed.

  Her vibrant features relaxed as lethargy crept through her and she rested her head against him. When her breathing became slow and heavy, he knew she was fighting sleep.

  He had never enjoyed ‘hugging’, but her cheek warmed his chest, his arms folded around her, and, with her satin skin touching his from chin to thigh, he discovered a kaleidoscope of emotions.

  Reluctantly, he whispered, “Hey, I have to go, Red.”

  She mumbled in protest, and he rubbed his chin over her hair as he said, “No, you must sleep. You know there are things I have to do. Connor has his hands full with Rebekah and the baby, and moving the others out.” A frown flitted across his face. “I want you to go with them.”

  She shook her head. “Not a chance.”

  “If you won’t go, then do as Connor says, and stay safe.” His hands stroked a persuasive rhythm over her back. The top of her head grazed his jaw as she nodded her agreement, and he was satisfied.

  “Sorry, Red. I do have to go.” He eased her from his embrace, smiling as she groaned half-heartedly. He held her hand as he stood up and dropped a kiss onto the corner of her sleepy smile.

  At the doorway, he raised a hand in farewell, but she was already sleeping. As he turned away he was glad he had at least one piece of good news for Connor. Small comfort, but at least he will be fully fed.