Ember

by Rachel Van Dyken

  She grinned. “Nope. I like driving you insane. You like that I like it too. Admit it, and I’ll stop.”

  “Never.”

  “Kids...” Nixon held up his hands. “…bicker later. And Phoenix, a word?”

  I glared at Bee and followed Nixon out of the house. How I hadn’t noticed that his car had been parked in front was just another clue as to why the hell I needed to stay focused on my job and not Bee. I missed details when I focused on her, details I couldn’t afford to miss.

  “How’d it really go?” He put on his aviators and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  “Oh, you know.” I crossed my arms as the winter air bit into my sweater. “As can be expected. I hate that place, Nixon, you know that. Just being there…”

  That was the most honest I’d been with any of the guys.

  Nixon was the only one I felt like I could let my guard down with. He wouldn’t hold it against me, would merely nod his head and pat me on the back.

  He was a rock. One I didn’t deserve.

  “Have you thought of maybe talking to someone about it?”

  “Ha!” My smile mocked his sentiment. “And say what exactly? Pretty sure any shrink is going to turn me in for the demons I unleash in his office.”

  “You have me.”

  “I have no one,” I spat then instantly regretted being an ass. “Look, Nixon, I know you’re trying to help, and I know I don’t deserve it. Let me just deal with things on my own. I promise it will get better. I just need time. It heals all… right?”

  He hung his head. “I wish I believed that.”

  “Yeah. Me too.”

  “See you tonight.”

  “Can’t wait,” I said sarcastically. “You know, being boss isn’t exactly an all-night party with unlimited booze and girls.”

  Nixon barked out a loud laugh and unlocked his Range Rover. “No shit.”

  WE MET AT EIGHT that night. To my great dismay, Bee wouldn’t let me leave her at the house; she’d said she was afraid of the dark, and frankly, I was so tired of arguing with her I had only been able to only grunt and make sure she wore a seatbelt.

  I was exhausted.

  Nightmares had a way of stealing all sleep from a person while systematically eating at the soul.

  When we got to Nixon’s house, Bee opened the door and rushed past the guys and straight into the living room, where I’d told her the girls would be hanging out and watching movies.

  “Did I ever have that much energy?” Tex asked, once I joined them at the kitchen table.

  “Your sister’s on drugs.” Chase tilted his head. “Either that or she just really likes movies.”

  “Yes, to all of the above,” I grumbled and reached for a glass of water.

  It was our second meeting. All the bosses were present, and since I was new, I had the unfortunate job of having to take notes at the meetings to make sure I didn’t take a misstep.

  What made it worse was that Luca had been a crazed man when it came to how he ran his network.

  All killings were clean.

  All transactions so clean it made a man wonder if he was even in the mafia.

  All connections? Clean.

  He was a relative god, and I had to follow in his footsteps. Right, the dirtiest of dirty had to take over the business. I spent most nights alternating between delegating jobs out to the associates and wondering what the hell I was going to do if any of them decided to rise up against me.

  Loyalty wasn’t passed down.

  It was earned.

  And I’d barely been given two weeks to get it.

  “So, how was school?” Chase asked, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.

  I itched to punch the ass in the jaw. “I learned so very much.” I scowled. “How was babysitting?”

  He swore under his breath. “I wasn’t babysitting.”

  “You were,” Tex piped up. “Like all day.”

  “Babysitting means I was watching a kid. Instead, I was watching some punk-ass-associate do his first deed.”

  “You watched him in the bathroom?” Nixon joked.

  Chase flipped him the bird just as Mil, my stepsister, took a seat and huffed out. “How long does this have to be? I need to clean my gun.”

  “Hot.” Tex winked.

  Chase growled.

  The door opened, and Sergio walked in with Ax.

  The entire room fell silent as all eyes watched Sergio take a seat at the table. Ax held up his hands. “Before everyone starts yelling, yes, he cut his hair. Yes, I helped him. It’s not a big deal.”

  Tex stood. “Nobody changes a hair on their head in this business without some pretty damn good reason.”

  “Sit!” Nixon barked.

  Tex’s eyes narrowed, but he sat, which was a small miracle, given he outranked Nixon in every freaking way.

  “Let’s start at the beginning.” Nixon held out his hands on the table.

  “Like…” Tex sneered. “…why the hell Sergio decided to stop looking like a little girl and cut his hair like a big boy? If you run, I will find you.”

  “I’m not running.” Sergio’s voice was gruff, his accent more pronounced. “I have intel from your boy that a Petrov’s at Elite.”

  All eyes fell to me. “Yeah,” I croaked. “And, Tex, stop staring at me like that. Bee’s fine. I threatened the guy within an inch of his life. But it’s Pike. The only reason he’d be at Elite would be because he’s an implant… no way would we actually let the bastard in. Whose job is it to look at enrollment anyway?”

  All eyes fell to Chase.

  Cursing, he shook his head. “Look, if I had seen a Petrov, I would have shot him in the ass before he even stepped foot onto campus. And FYI, it’s not like we haven’t been busy making sure Tex doesn’t kill everyone.”

  “Valid point,” Sergio muttered.

  “Oh, screw you!” Tex stood again.

  “Tex.” Nixon seethed. “Sit.”

  “Like a good boy.” Sergio laughed.

  Tex pulled out his gun. “Say it again. Really, I’ve been wanting to kill you for weeks.”

  “Pull,” Chase whispered under his breath.

  I cleared my throat loudly. “Petrov’s in the school. I called Sergio first thing for confirmation. The rest is his to tell.”

  Sergio ran his fingers through his short dark hair. It had a slight wave to it now that it wasn’t long, not that I usually paid attention to that sort of thing, but if the idea was to make him look younger than his twenty-eight years, it worked. “I’m going to teach.”

  “Ways to hack Amazon?” This from Tex.

  “Ways to steal social security numbers.” Chase nodded. “Awesome.”

  “History.” Ax spoke up, his eyes alight with humor.

  And silence. Again.

  Followed by howls of laughter.

  The only people not laughing were me and Sergio. Then again, I never laughed.

  Sergio scowled. “It will keep me close. I can gain intel, help Phoenix out since he’s the only other brave soul willing to hang out at Elite.”

  “I graduated!” Chase all but yelled, as if he was petrified Nixon was going to make him go back into hell.

  Tex nodded his agreement. “We both did.”

  And I hadn’t — the unsaid little jab.

  Sergio rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I have two doctorates.”

  “Thus the teaching.” Nixon clasped his hands in front of him. “Fine, gather whatever intel you can. It’s possible Petrov is there just to make sure we aren’t doing anything… illegal.”

  “Right, because we’re known for following the government’s rules.” I swore.

  Nixon shrugged. “We’ve survived a commission. We can survive anything. Now, on to the rest of business. Phoenix…”

  Why the hell was I in the hot seat?

  “…how’s the adjustment?”

  “Awesome. Someone even sent me flowers yesterday with a thank-you card. How the hell do you think it’s been
?” I looked away from everyone and stared out the window. “My old family despises me, and my new family would rather see me drown than take over the Nicolasi empire. So, between babysitting the Cappo’s sister, making sure she walks in straight lines and doesn’t get herself shot — oh, and running a multi-million dollar enterprise, I’m pretty sure I’ll never sleep again, not that I ever got much sleep to begin with, but whatever.”

  Chase slapped me on the back. Yeah, the last thing I wanted was comfort. “Give it time.”

  If I heard that one more time. I was going to scream. I made brief eye contact with Nixon.

  He cleared his throat and started asking Chase questions about the new associate.

  Officially out of the line of fire.

  My ears tuned out the rest of the conversation as feminine laughter floated in from the living room.

  Her laughter.

  Bee.

  “Phoenix?” Nixon barked.

  “Hmm?”

  “Does that sound good?”

  “Sure,” I lied. What the hell were we discussing?

  “Really?” Tex’s eyebrows drew together. “Well, I guess if he’s okay with it, I have to be. Nobody else is going to protect her anyway.” He stood, basically meaning the meeting was over, while I stayed glued to my seat, wondering what the hell I’d just agreed to.

  The guys and Mil went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine.

  Chase stayed next to me. “You do realize what you just agreed to?”

  “Suicide?”

  “Sort of.” He chuckled. “Look, I still haven’t forgiven you. I still don’t think you’re clean, so you know it’s bad if even I feel sorry for you.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Freshman class trip.” He nodded, and a smile broke out across his face. “You just agreed to go.”

  “Class trip?”

  “A weekend of fun up in the mountains… the hot springs… bikinis, Tex’s sister…” He whistled. “Yeah, have fun with that, monk.”

  I snorted. “I have self-control.”

  “Right.” Chase leaned in, whispering. “And we both know it’s only a matter of time before that thread freaking snaps, and in the end, who do you think’s going to cause it?”

  As if knowing our entire conversation, Bee waltzed into the room and pinned me with a helpless look. “Math homework? I think I’m stuck, and the girls can’t help me.”

  That made no sense. Couldn’t help? They had no problem with math — adding, anyway — when they raided the stores on their mega-shopping trips. I stared at Bee. Had she even asked them?

  “Yeah, good luck with that.” Chase slapped me on the back. “I highly doubt Tex is going to give you any sort of blessing for the thoughts running through your head.”

  “I don’t think like that… not anymore.”

  Bee put her hands on her hips and tilted her head in my direction. Her lips pressed together in what was probably supposed to look like irritation, when really I felt something entirely different.

  “Then you really are dead inside. Because that girl looks at you like you just promised to buy her the moon — and you look at her as if you did more than promise it.”

  He walked away.

  Bee hefted her book onto the table. “What was that about?”

  “Astronomy,” Chase called behind him. “Have fun kids!”

  I wiped my face with my hands as she plopped down next to me and pulled her chair as close as humanly possible. Her vanilla-scented essence damn near suffocated me to death.

  “I feel stupid.” Her shoulders hunched. “I mean, it’s Basic Math 101, and I’m confused already.”

  Math I could do. Just focus on the numbers.

  With a deep breath, I pulled out her notebook and snatched the pen. “Alright, let’s start at the beginning.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Sometimes I just wish he would see me.

  Bee

  “IT MAKES NO SENSE!” I hunched into myself and slumped against my chair. “I know you’re thinking it, you may as well say it.” We’d been back at the house for over an hour, and I still wasn’t any further than we had been at dinner.

  Phoenix’s eyebrows drew together in confusion before his scowl was replaced by a softness I’d never seen grace his face before. “Bee, you’re not stupid.”

  “Yeah, I am.” Everything about school was hard. I probably wouldn’t have even made it into college without my brother’s help. “But whatever, it’s fine. I’ve got my looks, right?”

  Phoenix slammed the book closed and pulled me to my feet.

  “Whoa, I was kidding. You don’t have to lock me in the pantry or anything.”

  We’d gotten home an hour ago. Phoenix had promised to help me finish the rest of my homework, but I was a useless case. Even Sergio threw up his hands and walked off.

  Story of my life.

  It was nearing midnight, and I still had hours of reading to go through.

  Phoenix released my hand then opened the fridge. “How many lasagnas?”

  “Um…” The cold air hit me in the face. “One?”

  “It’s just a lasagna, like those are just numbers. They don’t hold any power over you yet. For someone who hasn’t experienced real food in a long time? It may as well be like climbing Everest. Every bite, every damn time you chew, it’s painful. It’s hard even when it shouldn’t be because you’re the one making it hard. You stop looking at it as food and decipher it as a threat, as just one more step into something that could be your downfall.”

  He slammed the door shut then ushered me back to the table and pointed at the math homework. “This is your Everest. We all have them. We all struggle. But that doesn’t make you any less intelligent. It makes you different. Don’t let the thing that terrifies you overcome you so much that you can’t even take a bite. So we start slow. We start at the beginning. And eventually, you’ll be able to eat the whole plate, or in your case, finish every problem. You helped me with lasagna. I’ll help you with this.”

  I choked back a sob. “Because I fed you?”

  “No.” Phoenix stood, running his hands through his hair, giving me a view of his six-pack because his dark black shirt had ridden up. “Because you were the only one who even recognized I was hungry.”

  Stunned, I could only stare at him.

  The room buzzed with tension as his eyes met mine, and not just in a way that was indifferent. Something had changed, altered. I wasn’t sure if it was me or him.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, “for making me feel better.”

  Phoenix’s lips twitched. “Nobody’s ever thanked me for making them feel better.”

  “Good. Then I’m your first.”

  He shut down. His eyes closed, his lips stopped that sexy twitch, and instead of opening up more, he crossed his arms and shrugged. “Go to bed, and I’ll help you with the last two problems in the morning.”

  Apparently, the conversation was over.

  I nodded and turned on my heel, not wanting to tempt fate, knowing that each moment I was given with him was something I should keep for myself and protect with my life.

  It was nearing midnight, so I quickly grabbed a shower and went to bed. Only, I couldn’t sleep. Story of my life. It was like Phoenix was rubbing off on me, or maybe it was just the fact that I’d been so used to being his captive that having freedom of my own was weird.

  “Stop squirming!” he said in a hoarse voice.

  “Well! I saw a rat!” I fired back. “And why the hell is my father keeping me in the basement of all places?”

  “He’s protecting you.”

  He was lying; this new associate of my father’s was lying. And I hated him for it. Hated him almost as much as I hated my own father.

  “Screw you!”

  He rolled his eyes; I could see the movement even though it was dark.

  Something scratched at my leg.

  With a squeal, I backed away and landed in the guy’s lap.

  He shov
ed me off.

  So I took the opportunity to shove him back.

  What ensued was him pinning my wrists above my head and nearly head-butting me. “Stay calm before I give you a reason to scream.”

  “In pleasure?” I teased, trying to gain an advantage even if it was sexual. It was the only thing I had to work with. He had a gun. I had my body.

  “You’re a child,” he spat. “Like you could hold my interest.”

  I leaned in and whispered against his lips, “I already do.”

  He backed away like I’d just shot him in the face and swore into the blackness.

  “So, what’s your name, soldier?” I finally asked when he was done swearing.

  “Phoenix.”

  “Like the bird?”

  “Like the ash.”

  “The bird rises from the ashes…”

  “Yeah, too bad the story ends there.”

  “Huh?”

  “What happens after the bird rises?” His voice was hoarse. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.” He leaned in so close to me I could smell his spicy cologne. “It does everything it can to keep from falling.”

  “So don’t fall.”

  “Then stop tempting me to jump.”

  That was it. Our first conversation. After that, Phoenix had given me a wide berth, and I never could decipher what he’d meant. At first I’d thought he was attracted to me, but the more I got to know him, the more I realized that the guy was clearly indifferent to all females. All humanity.

  I punched my pillow and turned on my side.

  The clock said 1:30 a.m. Great. I was officially going to look like crap in the morning. I had one more day of classes before the freshman class trip. I may have told my brother I was going rather than asked, but whatever. He wanted me to live my life. I was going to live it. And that started with meeting boys who weren’t named Phoenix and gaining a kiss from someone who actually liked me.

  “Whatever.” I scrambled from my bed and made my way down to the kitchen to get a glass of juice. Brilliant light spilled through the doorway, and I entered to find Phoenix sprawled across the table, papers scattered all over the place. It looked like chaos had taken up permanent residence.

  I pulled the juice from the fridge, poured myself a glass, and watched Phoenix sleep.