Tequila Tequila

by Emma Hart

  “Okay, first, you’re not a dog, and I’m not a tree trunk. Second, why can’t I mark my territory?”

  “Because you fight like a drunken seal.”

  “I should slap you for that.”

  “But you won’t.”

  “You’re a little too sure about that, don’t you think?”

  “Aspen, if you try to slap me, I’ll grab your wrist and kiss you ‘til you calm down.”

  I raised one eyebrow. “Try it, and I’ll slap you even harder.”

  He grabbed me, pushing me to lie down on the sand. I laughed as I fell backward and he leaned over me. His blue eyes sparkled as he looked down, his gaze easily finding mine.

  His body blocked out the setting sun, means shadows danced across his face, illuminating his strong features.

  “What?” he asked, lips curving to one side.

  “Nothing.” I smiled back. “I’m just thinking it’s weird that I’ve known for years how handsome you are, but the desire to sit on your face is totally new.”

  His lips twitched. “For what it’s worth, you’ve always been hot, but the desire to have you sit on my face is also new.”

  “It’s always nice to be on the same page.” I grinned. “I thought you were kissing me.”

  “I was going to, but Mrs. Doncaster is walking her dog, and she’s taking a ‘pee break’ by the tree up there. If I kiss you right now, the next thing she’ll do is call all her friends at the bingo hall and tell them the guy who mooned them was kissing you.”

  “That is a valid reason to not kiss me.” I laughed and pushed at him, making him sit up. “Why don’t you take me home and kiss me there instead?”

  “Are you inviting me in?”

  “No. I told you, I’m not putting out on the first date.”

  “Fine.” He sighed. “You’ll regret that later tonight when you’re having another dirty dream about me.”

  “I cannot possibly regret it as much as the first time.” I got up and pulled my dress down, then grabbed my shoes.

  “The first time? I don’t know whether to ask you if that means there’s been more or why the first one was the worst.” Luke stood and brushed the sand off his hands. “Oh, God, the first one didn’t reflect that night, did it?”

  I shook my head with a laugh. “No, it didn’t. Thank God. No offense, but I don’t think I could relive that again.”

  “I’d be offended if I didn’t feel the same.” He unlocked his car and held open the passenger door for me. “So… The first time, huh?”

  I got in and tugged the door shut until he’d joined me. “There may have been one more dirty dream, but I don’t need to go into details.”

  “Yeah, you do. Were you sitting on my face?”

  “I was sitting on the grave I’d just buried you in for asking me stupid questions.”

  He laughed and pulled away, turning toward my house. “Is the grave marked, at least?”

  “No. You don’t deserve a marker.”

  More laughter. “You’re a delight. Why has Abuelita been so keen to marry you into my family, again?”

  “I’m gonna say the number one reason is that she loves me.”

  “Yes, but why?”

  “Same reason you love me.”

  “I love you because you feed me and didn’t punch me for not giving you an orgasm the first time we had sex.” He flashed me a grin.

  “Mmm.” I side-eyed him as we pulled into my apartment parking lot.

  I didn’t know why we couldn’t walk. I literally lived minutes from downtown—which was right by the beach—because of work. But no, he wanted to be a gentleman and drive.

  I slipped my feet back into my heels and winced as my toes crushed in the end.

  Right. This was why we hadn’t walked.

  Heels.

  Solid reason. My toes agreed.

  Luke made it around to my door before I could grab the handle. He opened it, sweeping his arm for me to get out.

  “I can open my own door, you know,” I said, swinging my legs out of the car.

  “On Earth, we say thank you.”

  I stood, gripping the top of the door. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He smirked. “Also, have you met my grandmother? If she thought I was letting a lady open her own car door on a date, she’d bring out that damn flip-flop she’s so fond of.”

  I shuddered and stepped up onto the sidewalk that ran the length of the parking lot. “I swear to God, just the mention of the shoe makes me never want to wear one again.”

  “Yep. Abuelita and her flip-flop will do that to a person.” He locked the car and walked with me to the building door while I fumbled in my purse for my keys.

  “So what you’re telling me,” I said, pulling out the keys, “Is that you’re doing it less to be a gentleman, and more so Abuelita doesn’t beat you with her shoe.”

  A tiny crease appeared on Luke’s forehead. “Yep. Pretty much.”

  “Okay, this is why you’re single.”

  “Were single.”

  “Have been single for a long time,” I finally settled on.

  He laughed, wrapping one arm around my shoulders and squeezing. “You do have a point. It’d take someone with questionable sanity to marry into my family.”

  “You’re right. I mean, I have seen what it’s done to your dad.”

  “Nah. He was like that anyway.” He shrugged as we reached my apartment door. “But the insanity is a good skill to have around Abuelita.”

  “I’ve literally watched them argue over carrots.”

  “Yeah, well, this morning, they were arguing over Dad’s drill. He’s putting up some shelves in the office for Mom, and apparently, the drilling was interrupting Abuelita’s daytime TV.” He frowned. “She’s recorded three entire seasons of Family Feud. I think she has a crush on Steve Harvey.”

  I tried not to laugh. I did. But the thought of her crushing on the hilarious host was just too much, and it burst out of me to the point I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get my key in the door so I just slumped against it instead.

  “All right, I know the idea is a little fucking stupid, but is it that funny?”

  “Yes,” I wheezed, standing up straight. “The idea that Abuelita can love anything but cooking, marrying off her grandchildren, and torturing your dad is insane to me.”

  “Well, when you put it like that…” He shrugged as I finally slid the key in and unlocked the door.

  I peered at him over my shoulder and stepped inside, still laughing. I put my purse on the table by the door, then stopped, looking up at him to meet his eyes. “I had fun tonight. Surprisingly.”

  “Surprisingly? Surely by now you know I’m a delight to be around.” Luke’s eyes twinkled teasingly.

  “You know what I mean.” I bit the inside of my cheek. “Thank you for tonight.”

  The glint of teasing left his eyes. “It was fun. So, do I get a second date?”

  I dipped my head and laughed. “I think I can do that.”

  His lips curved until his smile reached his eyes. “Good,” he murmured, leaning in. His hand cupped the back of my neck, and I flattened mine against his chest as his lips brushed over mine.

  My heart skipped a beat.

  It was just a small kiss. A soft one, a fleeting one, but it seemed to hold so much.

  Luke stepped back, his thumb ghosting over the curve of my jaw. “Goodnight, Aspen.”

  I hugged the door, smiling as he left. “Night, Luke.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – LUKE

  Too Much Steve Harvey

  “Penis!” Abuelita screamed.

  I froze, staring at Dad. “What the hell?”

  “She’s watching Family Feud again,” he muttered, shooting a dark look in the direction of the living room. “Emmanuel was here last night and taught her how to use YouTube.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  “To avoid her flip-flop.”

  Made sense. “What did he do this time?”<
br />
  “Totaled his car. Again. After she bought him a new one.”

  I rolled my eyes and took the dish he handed me to put away. “She has to stop giving him money for cars. And he probably needs to learn how to drive again.”

  “It’s his third car in two years. I don’t think I’ve had three cars in thirty years.”

  “That’s because you don’t go anywhere, Dad.”

  “Not true. I go to hell and back every time your grandmother is awake.”

  Him and the rest of the family. “What’s she watching on YouTube?”

  “Cuts from the funniest bits of Family Feud. But I’m not sure she understood entirely what she was watching, so I’ve had a morning of her shouting inappropriate things at the TV.”

  I wrinkled my face up, right as she shouted, “Nipples!”

  “Does she even know what she’s yelling?” I asked.

  Dad fixed me with a withering look. “I doubt it. I tried to ask, but she’s taken to hiding her flip-flops around the house. She got a suspicious package from Amazon this week that I suspect is full of them.”

  “Is there no escaping it?”

  “No, but I’m about to take up cleaning the house.” He snorted. “Anyway, how did you date go last night?”

  “My date?”

  “With Aspen. Did you fuck it up?”

  I took the bowls and put them in the cupboard. “No, I didn’t fuck it up. It went well.”

  “Good.” He nodded, grabbing the thing that held the cutlery and shoving it at me. “It’s about time.”

  “What is?”

  “The two of you getting together.”

  I paused, butter knife in hand, and peered at him out of the corner of my eye. “What does that mean?”

  “I guess I always figured you would. You’re different enough not to piss each other off but similar enough to get along. Plus, she puts up with the batshit crazy side of this family.”

  “Heard that,” Mom said, sweeping through the kitchen and into the living room where she proceeded to talk to Abuelita in flawless Spanish.

  I shook my head and turned to Dad. “You really thought we’d get together?”

  “Honestly, I thought the two of you would have figured it out before now. You’re such good friends and spend so much time together that either of you dating another person would be problematic.”

  Huh.

  “Problematic?”

  Dad sighed and took the sharp knives from the basket. “Yeah. Can you see any woman you’d date being comfortable with your close relationship with a beautiful woman?”

  “No,” I said slowly.

  “And no man would ever be comfortable with his girlfriend spending so much time with you. Would you be?”

  “No.” I didn’t need to think that through. “You’re right. But that doesn’t mean we should be together; it’s just a sidenote.”

  “You’re right. I think you should be together because you’re clearly supposed to be.”

  “What?”

  “Shit, it’s like talking to a potato and expecting it to do algebra.” Dad put the empty cutlery basket back in the dishwasher, then straightened and looked at me. “I always expected you to get together because you just make sense. You know each other inside out. You’ve seen each other through the best times of your lives and the absolute worst ones. When her grandfather died, you dropped everything to be there with her. She’s there for every family wedding we’ve ever had. In fact, I think I’d disown you if you ever brought a girl home who isn’t Aspen.”

  I laughed, resting my hands on the counter. “I’ll keep that in mind, Dad, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He grinned. “But, seriously, son—I don’t have to be a genius to know that this will work out. One way or another.”

  “Are we talking about Aspen?” Mom walked in. “Hopefully, Mama will stop shouting genitals out now.”

  “That was quite the one-eighty.” Dad pulled her into his side and kissed her hair. “Yes, we’re talking about Aspen.”

  Mom’s face lit up. “How was your date?”

  I should have stayed at home. I knew better than to come here. Damn it.

  “It went well,” I said. “And yes, we’re having a second date, and no, we aren’t getting married yet.”

  “Yet. I’ll take it.” Mom winked and left the room. “Oh, honey?” She turned to Dad. “I found your drill. It was in the shower.”

  Dad’s eyes widened. “Does it still work?”

  Mom nodded. “She was just trying to scare you. I’m taking her to the doctor this afternoon, so you’ll have two hours to finish those shelves up for me. If they don’t get done then, I’m not responsible for what happens to it after that.”

  “Got it.” Dad grimaced. “Where is the drill now?”

  “In my panties drawer. She’ll never look there.” Mom shot him a sweet smile and disappeared.

  Dad shook his head, sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Now, Luke, listen to me. You two might be meant for each other in my opinion, but remember this: when you marry someone, you don’t just marry them. You marry their family.”

  “Aspen’s family don’t live here anymore.”

  “Oh, I know.” He dropped his hand and met my eyes. “I was just making sure you know that means she’ll get dragged into this shitshow.”

  I rubbed my mouth to hide my smile. “I think she’ll be able to handle it.”

  “Puta!” Abuelita shouted at the TV. “Is a puta!”

  We both jerked our heads in her direction.

  “What kind of questions are they asking where ‘whore’ is a correct answer?” I asked.

  Dad shrugged. “Told you. Shitshow.”

  ***

  “Justin, if you hit on me one more time, I’m going to grab a lemon from the bowl behind me, bend you over like a little bitch in prison, and shove it up your ass.” Aspen slammed her hand down on the top of the bar. “Are we clear?”

  Justin reached over and grabbed her hand. “No ring. You’re fair game, honey.”

  He was doing it just to piss her off now.

  “Honey? I’m gonna honey your ass!”

  “Please do.” He grinned.

  Tom nudged me with his elbow. “You just gonna let him piss her off like that?”

  I nodded, drinking from my beer.

  Aspen turned fiery eyes on me. “Aren’t you supposed to be a gentleman? Do you hear this jerk?”

  I put down my bottle and held out my hands. “Whoa. Two days ago, you were adamant you could open your own door. I thought this fell into that category.”

  “Yeah, opening a car door and one of your friends being a total tool is exactly the same.”

  Blaire came back from the bathroom and whacked Justin around the back of his head with a sharp slap. “Back the fuck off.” She walked back to her seat between me and Tom, then did the same to me. “Grow a pair, Luke.”

  “Fucking hell. Is your hand made of concrete?” I rubbed the back of my head.

  Blaire smiled dreamily at me then turned to Aspen. “I got your back. I’ll be your boyfriend if he won’t. I probably hit harder.”

  Tom smirked at me.

  “Yeah, but you don’t have a dick,” I reminded her.

  “Judging by your silence, I’ve got bigger balls.”

  “Remind me why you like her.” I looked at Tom.

  He grinned.

  “Because,” Blaire said, “I’m an oral magician.”

  Aspen grimaced. “That’s too much information for a Sunday night.”

  “I like how nobody commented on the boyfriend thing,” Tom interjected. “Does that mean it’s official?”

  “No, it means nobody pays any attention to Blaire’s crap,” Aspen replied. “You’re no rookie, Tom. You know that.”

  He nodded, earning himself a glare from his girlfriend.

  I laughed, keeping my eyes on Aspen. While it was no secret now that we were seeing each other—thanks mostly to the local bingo club and t
he post office—we hadn’t discussed labels.

  Just that we were dating.

  And after what my dad said yesterday, we didn’t need to label anything. The more I’d thought about what he’d said, the more I realized he was right.

  We did make sense. There didn’t have to be a reason for it. We just did.

  We knew everything there was to know about each other, and while we’d initially used that as a reason not to act on our newfound feelings, I was beginning to think otherwise.

  We didn’t have to tread carefully, trying to figure out where we stood with one another. There would be no awkward family meets. No trying to work out how to handle an argument with each other—what was the other person’s temper like? Did they hold a grudge? How soon was it to call again?

  We knew all those things. Just like how I knew about her hatred of certain hair ties, she probably knew all the little things about me that I paid no attention to.

  We didn’t just know each other.

  We knew each other. The way couples who’ve been married for thirty years know each other. We knew the ins and outs and ups and downs of our relationship.

  I knew that when she was mad at me, I had to leave her for a minimum of twelve hours until she’d been able to eat, nap, and take a shower.

  The three things she always did when she was angry.

  And I knew I didn’t get mad at her. Not the way she got mad, anyway.

  Then again, I didn’t think anyone got mad the way Aspen got mad, so Justin was really pushing his luck tonight.

  She glanced over at me, finally meeting my eyes, and a small smile tugged at her lips before she looked away almost shyly.

  What we had was the perfect basis to build a relationship on.

  All we needed to do was figure out how to fall in love, and given that two minutes of bad, drunken sex had kickstarted other feelings inside us, I didn’t think that would be too hard.

  I’d never thought about falling in love with her until now. It’d never been a blip on my radar until now, and now, it was blaring at me. Falling in love with Aspen Camden would be so easy. Like flicking a light switch.

  After all, I didn’t need to uncover all the things I’d love about her.

  I already knew them, and I already loved them.

  “So, what’s on the cards for tonight’s second date?” Blaire asked, looking between me and Aspen.