by Casey Peeler
“Sunshine, I know you don’t understand, but I did what I thought was right. You are almost an adult, and I’ve lived a good life, but after you walked out of that room, I realized I needed to try for you. So, I’m going to try. I’m gonna try for you, Sunshine.” Instantly, my fear is replaced by hope. I grab Grandaddy and hug him, never wanting to let him go.
Emmett
I pull my phone from my pocket, again. Not a word from Raegan. I hope everything is okay. When I make my way to the table for lunch, I scan the cafeteria to see if she is with Jordyn. I realize quickly she’s not when I see Jordyn walk inside alone and take a seat beside Ridge.
“Have you heard from Raegan this mornin’?” I ask.
“Just earlier to say she was gonna be late. I’m sure it’s nothin’,” she implies.
As I take out my phone and begin to text her, I see her making her way toward our table. She sees me and smiles. I stand to meet her as she approaches.
“I was startin’ to wonder ’bout you,” I say.
“Nothin’ to worry ’bout. You know, I’ve never understood why doctors want us to be on time, but yet they aren’t,” she says, and that is the truth. “So, what’s been goin’ on this mornin’?”
“Nothin’ much, except I’ve missed you like crazy,” I say as I pull her in for a hug, and if I didn’t know any better, she is holding on to me like her life depends on it, and then she tells me she missed me more. I could listen to her sweet words from now until forever, and it wouldn’t ever get old.
After lunch, I walk her to class. I observe how she always speaks to everyone that looks her way, no matter if they are popular or not. She is never too busy for anyone, and when I have to leave her in the doorway of her next class, I stare as she takes her seat. When she catches me, I grin and turn to head to class.
Chapter 24
Raegan
When Emmett tells me he missed me like crazy, I feel like the biggest liar around. I can’t believe I made it to school, let alone not look like complete crap, and here he is telling me he missed me. What kind of person keeps a secret like this? But, it’s what Grandaddy wants, and that’s what he will get. I always keep my promises, and this one might eat me alive.
“I missed you more,” I tell him as he holds me tight. Being in his arms makes me feel like I can conquer anything. “Come on. Let’s eat,” I say as we make our way to the table. Lunch is filled with questions, what I missed this morning, and our plans for this weekend.
On the way to third block, it seems as if everyone is looking my way. I always speak to everyone, but today, it’s about to drain the life out of me. I’d have loved to have stayed home and spent time with Grandaddy, but he insisted I go on to school. After he told me he was going to at least try one type of treatment, I knew I could face today, and I’m glad to know the only face I wanted to see was waiting for me to arrive.
When the bell rings for the end of the day, I hurry to practice, but not before calling the house to see if Grandaddy is okay. He is out of breath, but it is from trying to grab the phone in time before it quit ringing. He seems to be his normal self, but deep down, I can’t help but wonder if he is as scared as me.
After practice, I head home, and our night is uneventful except for one conversation. Grandaddy and I talk in depth about what his plan of action will be, and when it will start. He has chosen to take a form of oral chemotherapy, instead of the IV type, for now. He wants to see if it will help lower his white blood cell count, and Dr. Charles feels this is a good way to start. He begins taking the pills tomorrow, and I can’t help but wish that Cole were back working on the farm so he could keep a check on him. Cole. I think I’ll call him later.
Once the dishes are done, I get ready for another day of school. When I’m ready to call it a night, I call Cole. He answers on the first ring.
“Hello?” he answers, and I now realize I should have called him earlier.
“Hey, Cole, you’re not asleep, are you?” I ask, suddenly regretting calling him since he’s not recuperated yet.
“Nah, I’m starting to feel more like myself, but Dad and Emma are insisting I take it easy. I meant to call you earlier, but didn’t know if Emmett was with you or anything.”
“I haven’t seen him since school. Has Grandaddy called you yet?” I ask.
“Actually, he came by after you went to school. I should have called you earlier, but I know you like your time to sort out things,” he says. “Are you okay, Rae? I mean, really okay?” There is tenderness in his voice.
I try to force back the tears, but they stream down my face as I speak as honestly as possible. “Cole, he wasn’t even gonna try to get better. How could he do that to me? I’d be lost without him, and that’s exactly what would’ve happened if he didn’t try.”
“Rae, I think he didn’t know what to do, but I know he was tore up when he got here. I’ve never seen him like that. You are his world, and when you walked out of that room, he knew he had to fight it for you.”
“I just don’t want to lose him. Cole, if he gets sick, and I’m not home, what am I gonna do? He doesn’t want us to tell.”
Cole doesn’t say anything for a moment. When he finally speaks, he asks, “When does he start taking the medicine?”
“Tomorrow.”
“I’ll see if Dad will let me visit tomorrow. I promise not to lift a finger, but at least someone will be there. Plus, I’m dying to get out of this house.” Dying. Not exactly the word I wanted to hear.
“Thanks, Cole, you’re the best,” I say as we hang up.
Emmett
As I walk to my room from getting a shower, I hear Cole talking on the phone. It’s obvious he’s talking to Raegan. I’m glad they are close, but the tone in his voice is filled with concern. I don’t really know where Raegan went today, but I’m positive Cole has an idea.
After I know he is off the phone, I wait a few minutes before I pay him a visit.
“What’s up, Emmett?” he asks.
“Well, that’s what I was hoping you could tell me.” His face looks like I’ve caught him red-handed.
“Whatcha mean?” he tries to say without a falter in his voice, but I can still hear it.
I take a seat in the desk chair in the corner. “What’s going on with Raegan? Whatever it is, I can handle it, but I know she lied to me today. I just know she did, and I know she’s talked to you.”
Cole looks like a deer caught in the headlights. He tries to shake off the topic, but I’m not letting this go. If she needs me, I’m going to be there.
“Look, Emmett. This isn’t my story to tell. Just know she’s okay. That’s all I can tell you.”
Rage consumes me. I stand and begin pacing the floor. I know Cole is a man of his word, and he’s not going to tell me. So, if he’s not, I’m going to find out somehow.
“Cole, please, tell me she’s okay. I know if you made a promise, you’re not gonna tell me, but at least give me that much.”
“She is fine,” he says with added emphasis on the word ‘she’. Wonder what that means? Then, it hits me. Mr. Lowery.
The look on my face must confirm to Cole that I understand. He gives me a head nod. “I’m gonna talk my dad into letting me visit the farm tomorrow while she’s at school. Someone needs to be there with him.”
“Can you tell me why?” I ask, no longer full of rage but fear for both Raegan and Mr. Lowery.
“I can’t. It’s not my place, but you can’t let her know you know,” he says.
“I won’t,” I vow. “Thanks, Cole, I’ve been driving myself crazy.”
As I start to leave, Cole stops me. “Emmett, she cares about you more than anyone I’ve ever seen, but get ready, because when this storm hits, it’s gonna be a rough one.”
I acknowledge his comment and make my way to my room. How am I going to act like I don’t know? I pull out a notebook from the side table and write exactly how I feel about her.
Chapter 25
Raegan
&nbs
p; For the next two months, things continue as planned. I go to school, fall further and further head over heels for Emmett, and Grandaddy is doing great. Not one person has noticed anything odd about Grandaddy or me. I’m exhausted and running on empty. Today, Cole started working light duty on the farm. Light duty is better than nothing.
Last month at Grandaddy’s appointment, Dr. Charles felt the pills were doing their job maintaining his white blood count, but not lowering it. I knew within my soul that another plan of action was going to have to happen, and this one was going to be harder to hide from the people of Pleasant Hill. He agreed to give the pills one more month, and then he would start IV chemotherapy.
“Sunshine, Cole said he’d go with me today, so you don’t have to miss school,” Grandaddy says as we eat breakfast. I give him the you can’t be serious look. “Dr. Charles knows what he’s doing. He explained it to us last month. It’s either we keep this going, or I try something new.”
I know he’s telling the truth. I want to go with him, but I also know he wants me to keep living my life. School is important to both of us, and if he does have to try the other kind of chemotherapy, I might need to save my absences.
“A’ight, but tell Cole to text me what y’all decide as soon as you leave,” I say, not wanting to admit my defeat.
“Will do, Sunshine. Now, hurry up. You’re gonna be late. I love you,” he says as he hugs me goodbye.
“I love you, too, Grandaddy,” I reply as Cole enters the house.
“Mornin’, Rae,” he says.
“Hey, Cole.”
“So, you’re really gonna let us do this ourselves?” he questions.
“You know there’s no arguing with him when he’s made up his mind, and it is made up,” I answer, and Cole laughs.
“You do recognize you’re as stubborn as him?” I tilt my head, place my hands on my hips, and smile. “Yeah, ya know. What do I have to do to make you happy in all of this?” he asks.
“I expect a text as soon as you are leaving. I’m gonna be one bottle of nerves, and I have to know what is decided.”
“Got it. Now, go. You’re gonna be late,” he says.
Emmett
As the warning bell rings, I know I have to get moving from my truck. Where the heck is she? I pull out my phone and text her quickly. She doesn’t reply, which makes me worry. Knowing I have to get to class, I start to make my way inside. I glance over my shoulder, and there is still no sign of her.
After taking my seat in class, I check my phone again and text Cole.
Me: Where’s Rae?
Cole: On her way
Me: Thanks
I place my phone back into my pocket and get ready to take a few notes. There’s no way I can focus, though. I stare at the clock, and every bad scenario runs through my mind. That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! I raise my hand and wait for the teacher to acknowledge me before I excuse myself from the classroom and start to wander the halls.
I start by walking by her classroom, and I don’t see her. What the hell? I continue to roam the halls, giving up on the idea that I have any clue where she might be when my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Raegan: I’m here. Had 2 handle something
this morning.
Me: K U n class yet?
Raegan: No
Me: Meet me at ur locker
Raegan: K
I really don’t know what I’m thinking or what she’s going to tell me, but as her locker comes into view, I see her smiling face making her way toward me. All apprehensions disappear when I’m in her presence.
When I get within arms’ reach, I take her and pull her close to me. “You had me sweatin’ bullets this mornin’. I thought something had happened to ya.”
She pulls back and looks into my eyes. “Nah, just runnin’ behind, and then Cole had to inform me of a few things on the farm before I left.”
Pushing her hair behind her ear, I look into her eyes, and I can sense she’s lying to me. Even with the lies, I know she’s trying to protect me from whatever is going on with her granddaddy. I just wish she’d tell me. I brush my lips quickly against hers, and we go our separate ways to class.
Chapter 26
Raegan
While sitting in class, all I can think about is Grandaddy and how I continue to hide this from Emmett. Since the day he walked into my life, we’ve grown closer, but I know we want to see how this plays out. I know I need to trust him with this, but I don’t want him to feel sorry for me.
When the bell rings, I hurry to my locker and check my phone. Nothing. I put it back into my pocket and grab my textbooks before heading toward second block. As I’m entering the doorway, I feel a vibration in my pocket. Once I’m seated at my desk, I check to see if it’s Cole. It is. Unsure of how I will react, I ask Mrs. Horn if I can run to the restroom. When she excuses me, I make a beeline for the bathroom, shut the stall door, and open the text.
Cole: It’s still the same.
Taking a minute to process what I’ve read, my mind begins to race. Still the same? That means they are trying the hard stuff this go round. Without another thought, I call Cole.
“Hey, Rae.”
“Hey, when are they going to start?” I ask, forcefully holding back the tears.
“Monday. He’s right here. Do you wanna talk to him?”
“Sure.” I hear Cole pass Grandaddy the phone.
“Hey, Sunshine,” he says. “Shouldn’t you be in class?”
“Yeah, but I needed to be alone a minute,” I admit quietly.
“It’s gonna be fine. Cole, Dr. Charles, and I worked out a schedule. Hopefully, it will only take a few treatments, and I’ll be good as new.”
“I hope so,” I say as someone comes into the bathroom. “I better go. I’ll be home as soon as I can today. Love you.” I hang up quickly so whoever came in doesn’t hear me.
When I open the door, I come face-to-face with Jordyn. “Hey, girl.”
“Who were you talkin’ to, and why are you missin’ class?” she probes with a little more attitude than usual.
“Grandaddy. He had a question about the finances at the farm before he went to the bank,” I say as guilt eats away at me.
“I’m not buying it, Rae.”
“Well, it’s the truth.”
“I’m callin’ bullshit. You’ve been up to something for weeks now. I don’t know what it is, but just know, nothing is too bad that you can’t talk to me about it.”
Grief washes over my body. “I know, but that’s it. I know I can tell you anything.”
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but come here,” she says as she waves her arms toward me for a hug.
“Thanks, J, and thanks for not asking questions.”
“You’re welcome. Now, let’s get back before someone comes lookin’ for us,” she states as she loops my arm through hers.
I’m thankful to have Jordyn in my life. She knows me well enough to know what buttons to push and when to run like hell. I love her for it.
“So, I heard there’s a party this Saturday. Do you wanna go?” she asks.
“J, there’s a party every Saturday night.” I laugh.
“Yeah, but you haven’t been to one since Emmett showed up.”
“What can I say? He’s where it’s at.” I smirk.
“You little hussy!” She grins, and we part ways back to class.
Emmett
I know I am overstepping my boundaries when I do it, but I can’t resist. I have to know what’s going on. As soon as I am out of eyesight from Raegan, I call Cole, but there isn’t an answer. What the hell? I send him a text and still nothing. What is it with no one answering me today? Damn.
Brushing it off, I make my way to class. At lunch, Raegan is her bubbly self, but our conversation almost seems like it’s on autopilot. I want to get her alone and find out what is going on, but I know if she finds out I know, she’s going to hate me… and Cole. I can’t let her push us away, because she is going to
need us at some point.
After lunch, I finally get a text from Cole. It appears his lips are sealed shut, but I’m going to find out what is going on. This day isn’t going anywhere close to how I’d planned, and I just want to get out of here as fast as possible. The only thing stopping me is Raegan. If I walked out right now, no one but her would really care if I were gone. It might even make a few people, like Jace, happy, but I can’t leave her without telling her. She’d freak out, just like I did this morning.
When the afternoon bell rings, I wait on her at her locker. She smiles, and I want to hold her in my arms and demand she tell me what she’s hiding. Instead, I hold her close, inhale her scent, and pray it will all go away.
Chapter 27
Raegan
As my truck makes it way down the drive, I see Cole, Grandaddy, and Hank sitting on the front porch. I smile at the three of them as I head their way. Those two men have been what keeps me hopeful in this world and make life worth living.
“Hey, y’all,” I say as I make my way to them and take a seat beside them. “Please, tell me y’all haven’t been front porch sitting while I’ve been in class all day.”
“We wish,” Cole says smartly.
“Boy, you know you don’t have to work here,” Grandaddy says flatly. What’s Cole’s deal?
“I’m just kiddin’, Uncle Dover. I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else.”
“Good, ’cause I need ya here bright and early in the mornin’.” I try to refrain from laughing, but it’s no use. “Sunshine, why are you laughin’? I gotta have you, too.” I stop mid-giggle. I’ve never seen him like this, and I look at Cole for direction.
“Grandaddy, is everything okay?” I ask.
He exhales a big puff of air. “Yeah, it’s all right, or it will be. It’s just been a long day, and we’ve got to get this hay baled before Monday. I can’t have that weighing on my shoulders when I’m sitting in a doctor’s office with a damn needle in my arm.” Oh God, this isn’t good. He never uses four-letter words!
“No worries, we got this. Right, Cole?” I say in his direction.
