Dark Love (The Two Sides of Me Book 3)

by Garcia, Amy

  “Promises promises…”

  “Ohhh lady, that’s two now in a matter of seconds watch it.”

  “All right, I’ll be good is it bath time?”

  “Yup,” I’m hauled from bed and carried next door with no effort. “You won’t be able to lift me pretty soon I’ll be so fat.” I pout “I can’t wait, baby.”

  “I’m bored.” Evan made sure every nook and cranny of my body was void of dried blood, he washed and conditioned my hair, dried me thoroughly, dressed me robotically and returned me to this boring bed.

  “Go to sleep, baby.” He moves around the room putting clothes away and cleaning up after my bath; I’m surprised he’s putting things away, he usually has Cecelia do that.

  “Where’s Cecelia?”

  “I gave her a few days off, traveling is hard on her.”

  “Oh. Wait, what do you mean hard on her?”

  “She has a little cold. Dr. Carmichael is seeing to her. Don’t worry, she is fine.” Hmm, I don’t like the sounds of that, he’s not telling me something, I can feel it.

  “Stop, Mia, you’re worrying and there will never be a time when I will be more insistent that you not worry then now. She is fine she has one of the world's top neurologists looking after her, and it’s just a cold. It’s late, now sleep.” He waggles his finger at the pillow behind me, and I sigh.

  “It’s not late in Italy; it’s only three in the afternoon.”

  “Yes, but it is midnight here and you need to sleep.”

  “I need my sleeping pills then.”

  “Are those safe for the babies?”

  “One of them is for sure, the other I don’t know.” He sits on the bed and gently pushes me back into the pillows with his hand over my heart.

  “Can you make it with just the one?” he says softly

  “Of course…I’ll be fine.” I have no idea what made me think I could lie to him; it’s never worked before, and it’s not working now. His eyebrows lift with suspicion.

  “Ok, I don’t know, but I’ll try, it’s for them.” I cover my tummy with both hands, and his automatically slides down over them.

  “I cannot have you suffering nightmares; it isn’t good for you or the babies.”

  “Well I have to try, and I’m sure they will be sapping my energy so I’ll be worn out to start with. I have you to snuggle with and we are home, so that helps.” He chews on the inside of his cheek, something I’ve never seen him do and he squints his eyes, he’s thinking.

  “You have several valid points, all right; we will try it but the first time you wake up screaming we are asking the specialist to give you something stronger.”

  “Sounds fair to me.”

  “Up.” He moves his hand from my tummy to my hip and with our eyes locked I lift my hips so he can pull the covers under and over me but as he smooths the blanket over my body to tuck me in he stops short, his eyes darken and his tone turns serious.

  “This is the worst kind of torture, you know. I never thought I possessed such strength but after bathing and dressing you as if you were my baby sister instead of the woman who drops me to my knees with a glance, I’m sure we can do this.” His voice has dropped two octaves during his proclamation, and the last few words were delivered in an unconvincing whisper.

  “I don’t believe you,” I whisper back and pull him by his charcoal gray Henley down against my chest.

  “Please, Mia, don’t.” Please? I think that’s the first time I’ve heard him use that word and instead of repelling me, it’s turning me on, everything is turning me on lately. I roll my head away from him into the pillow and groan.

  “Ugh, this is torture!” Suddenly his warm minty mouth is covering mine and our tongues tangle in a hot forbidden dance, my pulse races and a zing of desire blasts my core. I fight with myself as his kiss deepens, and I let my hands wander under his shirt and slide over every taut muscle on his back. I can’t. I want to. I shouldn’t. Yes yes yes NO! I jerk away. “Stop you’re destroying me.”

  He shifts down and touches his forehead to my chest. “Oh Mia, fuck, this is a test we cannot fail.” He moves to hover over my belly pulling up the edge of my silk pajama top he kisses me there, once and then after dragging his nose across my skin and breathing my scent in he kisses me again. “We will be strong, for the babies.” Squeezing him tight I remind him of his comment in the hospital today.

  “We can find creative ways to get around the rules remember?” I feel him smile against my skin. “What would you suggest?”

  “Oh…I dunno…you’re pretty great with your mouth, she said no sex as in penetration, right? I don’t remember hearing no oral sex.”

  “I believe you are correct, and you have a lovely mouth yourself, baby. But tonight I think we should play it safe and keep it to cuddling.” He’s right as usual, we should. I don’t want to and neither does he but like he said, it’s for the babies.

  “Well get your fine ass in here and start cuddling then!”

  “Bossiness comes with pregnancy too? This is delightful.” He drawls sarcastically and rises up onto his arms.

  “Karma’s a bitch.” Now I’ve done it, I think I’ve pushed a little too hard with that one, his jaw twitches, and his cocks to the side with warning.

  “Three.” Shit, at this rate I’ll be in the thousands, hell hundreds of thousands of indiscretions by the time these two are born. His point has been made, and I watch him as he readies himself for bed, bringing me my toothbrush while he brushes his own along with just the one sleeping pill. When we’ve settled into bed with the soft lamp glowing at the bedside I feel the light landing of two warm kitties and a groan from Evan spooning behind me.

  “Furballs,” he says into the hair bunched at my neck.

  “You love them.”

  “I love you; you love them therefore in a roundabout fucked up way I do suppose I love them.” Yes settles in the curve of my tummy as if she knows something needs protecting there, and No takes a place behind Evan’s knees. This is a rare moment of bliss, no tragedy, no illness, no family problems. Shit, family! I have to call my parents tomorrow and tell them the news. How am I going to tell them? How am I going to tell Sage or anybody for that matter?

  “You are worrying. I feel it. What’s the matter now?”

  “How are we going to tell my family?”

  “I will find a way unless you would like to do it yourself.”

  “Uh uh, I need you for this one, for sure.”

  “We can have them for dinner soon.”

  “When Cecelia is well?” I swear I feel him twitch at the mention of her name.

  “Yes, when Cecelia is well. Let’s get some sleep, it’s been a long day.” I close my eyes and imagine two little Evans or Mias, maybe one of each? How perfect would that be?

  “Mia?”

  “Yea?”

  “Will you give me your word that you won’t get out of bed until the doctor says it’s safe?”

  “Of course, I’ll follow the rules; I don’t have to like them though.”

  “True, as long as you promise I’m going to trust you. I really need to get back to work next week, and we have to decide whether or not to have a wedding before or after these two arrive.”

  “Before, as in as soon as possible, I want it here, originally I thought we would have it in the garden but it won’t be warm enough so how about the foyer, I’ll come down the stairs and we can do it under the chandelier.”

  “I like it.”

  “A small ceremony, just family, and close friends with dinner following. If you want a big reception, we can do it after the babies are born.”

  “Say that again.”

  “Say what?” I ask,

  “The last part.”

  “After the babies are born?”

  “Yes, I love hearing you say that. Mia, I am more frightened than you can possibly imagine. I cannot believe this is happening, and to me, to us. I don’t deserve an
y of it, and I can’t help thinking it will all go up in smoke and I’ll be left to suffer as I rightly should.” He squeezes me tight and nuzzles his face deep into the curve of my neck.

  “If anyone deserves a family it’s us, these babies are going to balance the bad in our lives with good, just wait and see, nothing can take us away from you.”

  “I pray you are right.” No more words are exchanged quiet blankets the room and the four or should I say the six of us take a much needed time out from our recent stress for a good night of sleep.

  I don’t usually dream, in fact I never dream when I sleep because of my medications but this night I do, and it isn’t the nightmare that usually breaks through but the kind of bizarre dream people usually have. Strange chunks of recent happenings mixed with bits and pieces of things that make no sense at all combine and confuse me.

  Evan and I are on a boat at sea, I am very pregnant and the crazy smoke lady from the hospital in Italy is there sitting in a deck chair staring at me as I dangle my feet over the edge of the boat with a fishing pole in my hands. Evan is there somewhere, but I can’t see him I only feel his presence. I look back at the smoke lady periodically to see what she’s doing, and it’s always the same, nothing, she just stares at me blankly as if I weren’t actually there, she looks right through me and out into the water. A storm kicks up, and dark black smoke begins to billow from the cabin where I believe Evan to be. I try to get up, but it’s difficult with a rocking boat underneath me and an enormous belly to maneuver. The smell of smoke is so strong I cough and gag when the crazy smoke lady appears behind me looping her arms undermine to drag me across the deck away from the cabin and the increasing smoke. Then things change, it feels normal within the dream but thinking about it now I know it’s insane, smoke lady and I are walking through a corn field and every time I look back I see Evan standing there looking forlorn and alone, but it’s not concerning at the time until we reach the edge of the field and I know somehow that if I step out of the corn I will never see him again.

  “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours this morning?” Evan scoots closer to me in bed sliding his hand over my thigh under the covers.

  “A weird dream that’s all.” Propping up on his elbow his sleep dazed face clouds with concern.

  “Dream or nightmare?” he asks

  “Dream, what happened to your mind reading skills?”

  “I just woke up, give me a few minutes, tell me about your dream.”

  “It’s nothing just a bunch of jumbled up bits that don’t mean a thing.” I smile at him, it’s not a lie, I don’t understand the dream, but it does make me feel unsettled.

  “How long have you been sitting there thinking?”

  “Not long, maybe half an hour,” my stomach growls loudly and nausea sets up shop causing my mouth to water warning me of a vomit filled morning if I don’t eat something quick.

  “My wife and children need breakfast.” I shake my head still bewildered by the sound of the words wife and children; it’s just so…mind boggling! There it is again ugh…

  “I need something to be sick in if you don’t want me getting out of bed.” And like lightning he snaps into action bolting to the bathroom and returning with a small trash can. I grab it just in time to wretch absolutely nothing over and over as Evan holds my hair and murmurs something about never wanting to be a nurse. When it’s over, I look at him over the trash with watery eyes a runny nose and probably the worst morning breath imaginable.

  “I love you?” he says shrugging

  “I hope so, this isn’t my finest hour.” He kisses me on the top of my head and disappears into the bathroom again.

  “Are you going to be needing this again?” He calls out

  “I dunno, hope not.”

  “I’m going to get you some breakfast; do you need to use the bathroom?”

  “Yea, like yesterday.” After being scooped up delivered to the bathroom, allowed to sit on the toilet to brush my teeth and deposited back into bed he dresses in a pair of extremely well-tailored jeans and a tight fitted black t-shirt that strains against his lean, athletic body. How can he make jeans and a fucking t-shirt look so good? I sit still in my pajamas with my chin resting on my knees arms wrapped tight around my legs admiring the view, and he catches me.

  We exchange knowing smiles, his a smirk and a wink, mine mischievous. “You’re not allowed to look that good until I can fuck you again, Mr. Lawson.” His surprised look is priceless; he’s all mouth hanging open and wide-eyed.

  “You’re going to have to watch that foul mouth of yours in a few months, you know? I think the hormones are making it worse.”

  “I think it’s the thought of being sexually frustrated for weeks not so much the hormones.”

  “Oh, don’t you worry, I’ll be taking care of you and your needs, this won’t be as bad as you think.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and I’m laughing again burying my face into my knees. I hear him pad across the room to me and his hand brushing my hair away from my face. When I raise my head, he is directly in front of me, reaching out he cradles my face in his hands.

  “I love hearing you laugh; it’s music to my ears I want you to be this happy and carefree every single day of your life.” I lean my face into one of his hands.

  “Well, I would love that too but I have a feeling there will be more than a few days where you will be hearing me scream and cry while trying to figure out how to mother two kids at once.”

  “I’ll be helping you, always Mia, I will be right here next to you.”

  “Thank God.” I sigh.

  “How about I start now with breakfast?”

  “Good idea I think I’d rather puke food than bile.” He drops his hands and wrinkles his nose.

  “On that note I’ll be in the kitchen, be good. You have everything right? iPad, phone, TV remote?”

  “Yes, yes and yes.” He points his long finger at me and then at the bed.

  “You. Stay.”

  “I will! Go get me food!”

  “Don’t you mean please get me some food?” Oh that’s rich, he is asking me to say please, Mr. no manners mc gee, but I’ve already earned three points of disapproval and I still haven’t figured out his form of retaliation, so I comply.

  “Please get me some food.” Looking smug he leaves me alone with my nausea and two lazy kitties sleeping peacefully and undisturbed by our banter, lucky furballs…

  Breakfast really helped I feel so much better after a couple of eggs and ginger tea, now if I can just keep it all down there until lunch. Evan brought his work into bed so I wouldn’t be lonely; laptop, files, papers, and notebooks are all around him on the bed in strangely neat piles.

  I’ve been dressed in a large baggy off the shoulder cable knit sweater and nothing else. Evan offered black leggings, but I figured what for? I’m not getting out of bed today I only put on the sweater to appease him, he says being dressed will make me feel normal, ha! I think it’s safe to say normal went out the window months ago. I’ve been sitting around in hospital rooms and at Evan’s bedside for so long you would think I’d be used to it but I’m going stir crazy today with so many things swimming around in my head that need to be done. And I’m home! I want to visit my family and friends, go to the Seattle glass blowing studio, take a swim, run on the treadmill, go shopping, make wedding plans, baby plans, ugh! The more I think about getting out of bed, the more anxious I become, bouncing my foot and fidgeting in my spot trying to get comfortable earns me a comment.

  “You should read, or online shop,” Evan says without raising his eyes from the screen of his laptop.

  “I hate being in bed,” I whine

  “Now that simply is not true, you love being in bed with me.” I roll my eyes

  “Yea when we are naked, and sweaty going at it like animals, not dressed and working.” He chuckles and selects a file to hand to me.

  “Here, you can work on wedding plans and I will get yo
u naked later, deal?” That idea is downright appealing, and he’s right, I may be stuck here in bed, but I can still get a lot of things done with a computer and a phone.

  “Deal.” I accept his offer and the file, curious on both accounts, what’s he got planned for later and what all has he done with the wedding plans already? I open the file, and there are invoices for flowers that have been ordered, rental chairs and tables, glass wear, a menu, has he left anything up to me?

  “You’ve been a busy bee, haven’t you? Were you planning on letting me make any decisions about our wedding?”

  “Of course, you can cancel or change anything you don’t like, and I have not had time to look into music or entertainment. You also need a gown and dresses for your bridesmaids, who are you going to have stand up with you?”

  Wow, he’s really been giving this a lot of thought. I shuffle through the papers looking at the dates of the orders and wonder when our wedding day is, this is a side of Evan I haven’t been exposed to, the hyper-organized efficient side and it’s making me feel a little inadequate.

  “Uh I hadn’t thought about it I guess I mean it should be my sister but I feel like Gabriella should be my maid of honor too.”

  “Just do both, I’ll have your brother in law, Simone, Isaac and Saint so pick two more. Oh and how about your niece and nephew for ring bearer and flower girl?”

  “Sure.” I close the folder and push it back toward him on the bed, I’m suddenly feeling unneeded; maybe I should just let him handle the whole thing.

  He closes his laptop and stacks his work neatly on top of it, placing it on his night table. He crawls across the ridiculously big bed and settles himself behind me circling my body with his legs. He gathers my loose heavy hair moving it to one shoulder, a shiver races over my skin when he nibbles on my neck and cups my sensitive breasts in his hands.

  “I like to plan things. I like to be in control but I don’t want you to feel left out so if that is what you are thinking, and I know it is, don’t worry there will be a million details to share I promise. I did, however, choose a date, I had to so things could be reserved, we are getting married on March 12th, is that ok with you?”