A Vintage Murder

by Michele Scott

  “Oh, but you were adorable and neither Derek nor I had the heart to wake you. You must’ve been tired.”

  She got out of bed. “I guess I was.”

  “Now it’s time to de-tousle that mop of yours and get all gussied up, gal.”

  She touched the top of her head. Her hair did seem to be traveling in many directions. “Gussied up? What are you today? A bad Western? No wait, a bad Australian Western.”

  He laughed. “Uh-huh, you already got up your get up and go on. Speaking of movies, we are headed back out to the Hahndorfs. That nice Liam and his wife have invited us for lunch. Derek just called and said to get a move on. He sounded tense.”

  “Tense?”

  “Yes, something about shenanigans from Lucy Swanson again and how even though he wanted to negate the offer for lunch, he was feeling sorry for Liam and brood, so off we go. I for one am hardly upset. I can’t wait to get another eyeful of the luscious Shawn Keefer.”

  Nikki slammed the door shut on the bathroom, turning on the shower.

  “My, aren’t we a tad grumpy in the a.m.,” Simon shouted from the other side. Nikki continued to ignore him. “Alrighty then, I’ll take that as a sign that Snow White needs herself a little espresso. Be back in a jiff.”

  She heard the hotel door close. Thank God. Now she could shower in peace. She had to get ahold of Marco and play cupid.

  She had enough time to shower and get dressed before Simon returned, balancing a tray of coffee and a bag of what Nikki figured must be pastries. “My, my, aren’t we rather outback motifish today. Here’s your coffee and a bite to eat. We better get rolling.”

  She grabbed the bag and coffee and they headed out, pulling up a while later in front of the Hahndorfs’ gate, where they were checked in by security. As they drove inside, they noticed the film crew and their vehicles still out on the back forty. “Why don’t we take a little detour?” Simon asked. “Check out the set.”

  “That’s probably not a good idea. Movie sets are busy and we would be an annoyance.”

  Simon didn’t listen as he turned off the main drive and down a side road.

  “Simon! Your brother and the Hahndorfs are waiting.”

  He gave her a wave of the hand. “We’re ten minutes early. I just want to see if I can get a peek. Come on, don’t crash on my party.”

  Marco was right: maybe Simon did need a little bit of introspection. He was far too celebrity obsessed. So much for all the money spent on Guru Whatchamacallit. At least Marco had floated back down to earth, but could the relationship between them be repaired if they’d grown so far apart? And, what had happened to make Simon fall off the New Age bandwagon? She sighed. “Fine, but only a few minutes.” She glanced at her watch. “I’m timing you.”

  “Party pooper.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  He groaned and turned onto another side road. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”

  “You were so into following your guru. I mean, not that I’m big on some of that new-agey stuff, but you know I couldn’t stand you when I first came to Malveaux. Both you and Marco were, um, well, there’s no other way to say it: basically a couple of assholes.”

  His jaw dropped. “Tsk-tsk. So not nice.” He smiled. “You are right, though. We were a little irritating, I suppose. Here’s the dealio. I think the guru thing is cool, and I’m all about improving myself and my relationships. But you know, I’m kind of over being told that I have no depth if I want nice things or designer labels or to spend my money on good champagne. I honestly don’t see the big deal in all of it, and Marco, well, he’s really getting into the Buddha kind of thing. You know, where you give up all your stuff, and you get your pleasure from within. Pleasure from within? Ooh.” He shivered. “How does that even work?”

  “There has to be a middle ground somewhere in there for the two of you.”

  Simon shrugged and pulled up next to a cream-colored Rolls-Royce. “Nice car. See, that’s what I’m talking about. I want one of those.”

  “I guess that’s fine. Sure they’re nice cars, but when I say middle ground, why not have a car for the purpose of driving? Why do you need a status symbol?”

  “Why not? Ooh, this conversation is over, Snow White. There goes Shawn Keefer.” Simon got out of the car and started toward the movie star.

  Nikki shook her head. How to get him to see the light? She jogged up next to him just as he reached Shawn. What a pain in the butt.

  Shawn scowled as he saw them. “Morning,” he muttered.

  “A good one, too,” Simon said.

  Shawn shoved his hands inside his jeans pockets and glared at him. “It is, huh? I beg to differ.” Simon looked completely wounded, his eyes growing saucerlike. “I’ve got a movie to shoot, and all I want to do is get it done and in the can.” He looked at his watch. “All morning we’ve been waiting around for Little Miss Lucy to appear. But the diva obviously thinks this movie—and the world—revolves around her, and frankly I don’t want to work with her any longer. I’ve had it.”

  “That bitch,” Simon said. “What hotel is she at? I’ll go rouse her for you.”

  “Oh no. See all these motor homes? We each have one. Well, I do and she does. Nathan and Kane as well. The rest of the crew have to buddy up.”

  “Sweet,” Simon said.

  “Isn’t she in her motor home then?” Nikki asked.

  “Good question. Kane has been banging on her door forever. We shot a few scenes that don’t include her this morning because we all figured she needed to sleep off the booze from last night. Rumor is she and Hannah had quite a party out with Johnny, the makeup artist. Kid likes to party with the women and as you can guess, Lucy was along for that ride. I even heard that they crashed Grace Hahndorf’s car.”

  “Seriously?” Nikki said.

  “That’s what I hear, anyway. Dunno. But this is getting lame. When the wardrobe people tried to get in there, she didn’t answer. Kane is trying to locate an extra key right now. The thing is probably trashed. I’ve got to get some coffee. See ya.”

  “Poor guy,” Simon said.

  Nikki rolled her eyes. “Come on, let’s go up to the house. You’ve had your few minutes with Keefer, and I’m sure Derek is waiting.”

  Simon started to protest when they spotted Derek and Liam coming down the road in the golf cart. “Hmm, looks like they just came to us.”

  They parked the cart near Lucy’s motor home and Simon and Nikki took off that way. When they arrived, Liam was pounding on the door. Derek saw Nikki and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Drama this morning.”

  “So I hear.”

  Kane Ferriss returned, yelling out Lucy’s name. No answer. “Here, mate, a man from the RV place brought over an extra key to the house,” Liam said, handing it to Kane.

  “Thank you. If I can get her up and going, maybe this entire day won’t be shot to hell.” He unlocked the door and it swung open wide. Something slithered down the stairs. Nikki jumped back along with everyone else as they realized what it was.

  “Oh my God!” Kane yelled. “Where’s Andy? Andy! Someone get Andy the fuck over here! That’s his fucking snake! It’s a brown snake!” As the reptile rapidly slithered along the dirt, Kane charged into the trailer.

  Andy came running up. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  Kane reappeared, his eyes darkening. He brought his hands up to his face. “What’s wrong?” he cried, removing his hands and glaring at Andy. “What’s wrong? Your fucking snake just killed my actress. That’s what’s wrong. Lucy is dead.”

  Chapter 6

  Everyone remained caught up in the horror of what had happened to Lucy Swanson as a police car pulled onto the property. Derek placed a protective arm around Nikki, and Simon hung closely beside Shawn Keefer, who appeared to be as freaked out as everyone else. A strange thought occurred to Nikki, who couldn’t help wondering if the award-winning actor wasn’t acting in the moment. He’d basically claimed he hated Lucy. Was he as upset
as he looked over her sudden death?

  The one most upset by the tragic events appeared to be Andy Burrow, who kept repeating there was no way the snake had been his. “All of my creatures are locked up securely. I don’t take risks like that. There is no way. It had to be a snake from the bush.”

  Nikki told Derek, “What I want to know is how a snake got inside the trailer in the first place.”

  He gave her a look she recognized—the one that said for her not to get involved in this. It was true she’d been known to snoop around in the past when she’d had no business doing so. She’d already been responsible for solving a few mysteries back in the Northern California wine country. It was a knack she had, something she figured she’d gotten from her aunt Cara, who’d been a homicide detective for the L.A. Police Department for years, and who’d discussed many cases with her when she was growing up.

  “I’m sure that the snake somehow got inside the RV when a door was left open. It’s obvious, Nikki, that this has to be an accident.”

  A uniformed policeman got out of his car and spoke first with Liam. Simon sidled up next to them. “Oh my God, can you believe this craziness? Poor Shawn. Poor everyone. How will they finish their movie? Shawn is super broken up about it.”

  Nikki glanced over at the star, now busy pacing in front of his own RV, talking rapidly into his cell phone. Broken up, huh? A minute ago he’d seemed upset by what had happened, but now he was on the phone. What was that all about?

  “What do they do in a situation like this, Snow White?”

  “I don’t know; why would I know?”

  “Duh, you used to be in showbiz. They won’t cancel the movie, will they?”

  “I honestly don’t know what they’ll do, but I also don’t think that’s the main concern right now. A woman just died. And, I imagine it wasn’t pleasant. My God, sure she was a little obnoxious, but she was a young woman, and talented. It won’t be long before the paparazzi gets wind of it and this place will be swarmed. I’m sure Billy Bush has already been put on a plane,” she said, referring to the host of Access Hollywood.

  “Paparazzi are probably already lurking, don’t you think?” Simon said. “Like, Shawn Keefer is here. That’s probably why I can’t get a hotel room and why they have the security guy up front.”

  “Come on, let’s see if there’s anything we can do for Liam and Grace,” Derek said. “I’ll let him know that if this isn’t a good time, we can fly back next month when things die down. I’m about ready to get out of here.”

  Liam was now speaking with Kane as the police officer entered the RV. This was not a good situation at all. Both men looked pale. Derek and Nikki approached them. Simon wisely chose to hang back.

  The group turned as they heard a clearly upset Shawn Keefer screaming obscenities into the phone. Kane excused himself and went over to the actor.

  The police officer emerged from the trailer. “Yes, looks to be a snakebite that did her in. Those brown snakes are awfully deadly. Bit her right on the leg. Sucker must’ve gotten down under the covers. Kind of surprising to me, though.”

  “Why?” Nikki asked. Derek eyed her.

  The officer wasn’t fazed by her question. “Not from around here, huh?”

  “California.”

  “Oh, California. Well, g’day. Always wanted to visit there myself. Hear it’s beautiful.”

  Liam cleared his throat. “I think the reason Officer Warre thinks it odd that the snake would get under the covers is that they usually like cool places.”

  “True,” Warre replied. “But dark places are good, too. The woman probably shifted, woke him from his slumber and there you have it.” His fingers clamped down on one another. Nikki winced. “You say she’s an actress?” He turned to Liam.

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t watch much TV and never get to the movies. I like to read.”

  “She was quite a star,” Liam said.

  “Yep, bad deal. I think it might be best for me to call in a detective. Be right back.”

  Officer Warre went over to his car and placed the call. Liam turned to Nikki and Derek. “Typical.”

  “What do you mean?” Nikki asked.

  “The police. As soon as Warre found out that Lucy Swanson was a big star he goes and calls in a detective—his superior.”

  “Why does that bother you?”

  “See, the thing is that the police in these parts don’t want to be responsible for missing something. He’s going to call in someone else to take the heat if this snakebite is more than that . . . which it isn’t.”

  “That’s right,” Derek said. He looked at Nikki. “Just a snakebite.”

  “Right, but because Lucy was this American actress and the cop knows there will be media involved, he has to make sure his arse is covered. It’s politics here in the Barossa.”

  Nikki found it interesting that if the cop was calling in a detective, did he actually think there could be something more to Lucy’s death?

  It didn’t take long before another car rolled onto the property. Out stepped a tall, tan, blond, roguish-looking kind of guy. He had the khaki thing going for him with pants and a hat. His long hair dangled past his ears. Many years spent in the sun had weathered his face enough where he could have been in his midforties but looked more like sixty.

  Liam waved to him. “Jack.”

  The man joined them. “G’day, mate, some trouble here in the vineyard, hey?”

  “A bit. It’s not good. Jack, this is my friend and business associate Derek Malveaux from the States and his lovely assistant Nikki Sands,” Liam said. “Nikki, Derek, this is Detective Jack Von Doussa. He is also a good friend.”

  The detective nodded at them. “Not so good a time to be here, eh, mates? I s’pose I better take a look. Got the call from Warre and of course, he doesn’t want to be boss on this deal, not with a big star like this. So, who is she?”

  “Lucy Swanson,” Liam replied.

  He nodded. “Ah yes, this could be a problem if not handled carefully. I’m going to call in a CSE. Warre,” he yelled at the officer, who was leaning against his car.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Do you have a video camera in your car?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. Grab it and follow me.”

  “Video camera?” Nikki asked. “What for, and what is a CSE?”

  Von Doussa smiled, his eyes lined with heavy wrinkles. “You’re rather inquisitive.” He didn’t say it in a mean or condescending way.

  “Yes, she is,” Derek said.

  “I’m only curious because my aunt was a detective in Los Angeles for years and she talked about procedures a lot.”well, the CSE is like your CSI people in the U.S.”

  “Yes, well, the CSE is like your CSI people in the U.S.”

  “So you’re treating this as a crime?”

  “No. I have to cover my arse. See here, this is one of those situations where I need to make sure we go by the book. I don’t need my boss giving me a hard time because I didn’t follow protocol. I’m going to do it so that there will be no problems down the road.” He turned to Warre, who’d just arrived with camera in hand. “Call me in a crime scene examiner.”

  “It’s a crime? I thought it was a snakebite,” Warre said, eyebrows raised.

  “No, no. I don’t think we have a crime here. I need a CSE because this is a well-known person and also a woman.” He lowered his voice. “I want you to videotape my examination and I want a CSE here to take stills, because I don’t want any allegations that I had a prurient interest when I disrobe a famous actress. Now do it.”

  “Oh.” Warre nodded and hurried off.

  “Not the brightest guy around. He got his position through MERIT.”

  “MERIT?” Nikki asked.

  “Yes. Kind of a joke around the department—mates elevated regardless of intelligence or talent. We have quite a bit of cronyism, nepotism, that type of thing. Warre’s father is a retired superior who got him the job through a b
uddy who is now in Adelaide working as an investigator. It’s somewhat corrupt. The reason I’m having the video camera go in with me is to prove I’ve done everything I need to do. I’ll swab for DNA at the snakebite, see if we can’t locate how the beastie got in there. Oh damn, why didn’t I ask? Do we know if the snake is still in there?”

  “No,” Liam said. “Sucker slithered away and no one around here was going after him, except for Andy Burrow. The producer is saying that it’s his snake.”

  Detective Von Doussa brought his hands to his jaw. “Andy Burrow is here?”

  “Yes. He’s handling the animals on the set. One happens to be a brown snake, and the producer, Kane Ferriss, insists that it was Andy’s snake. Andy says there’s no way, and he’s gone to make sure that the snake is still secure.”

  Von Doussa took out a small notepad and scribbled something. He looked up to see another car pulling in. “There’s my CSE guy. Must’ve been nearby. Let’s get this done. Can’t leave the body for long. I need to get ahold of the pathologist at the state coroner’s office, but I’ll have to investigate first.”

  The third man joined them—redheaded with a red-head’s complexion of freckles and pale skin. He nodded a curt hello to everyone and a moment later followed Von Doussa and Warre into the RV. Nikki still had no idea what to make of all this.

  Liam sighed. “My friends, I have to apologize. Nothing ever happens here. Really. It doesn’t. Jack is one of two detectives here in the Barossa and we simply don’t get much crime.”

  “But everyone is saying it’s not a crime. That it was a snakebite. You do get those, don’t you?” Nikki asked.

  “Yes, of course. Brown snakes are common here. Enough so that a short jaunt down the road you’ll find the antivenom store. I only said ‘crime’ because, well . . .” He paused. “You know, I’m not sure why I said that. I suppose it’s because Jack called in all of his people to make sure he handles it appropriately. You know he’s right, it is all about covering your arse these days. The thing is, he doesn’t want anyone around town calling him an oaf or anything. For instance, say the pathologist were to call him next week and tell him she actually died from a drug overdose. He’d be the fool then.”