by S. M. Shade
“And what makes you think I’m going to monopolize all your time or take you away from your sister? I have a life too, shit to do that has nothing to do with you, so get the hell over yourself. And all this ‘it isn’t fair to you’ garbage is just that. It’s a copout, an excuse you’re using because you’re scared. Shit happens and just because things get difficult doesn’t mean we quit. I don’t give up.”
Crossing her arms, she leans back against the counter. “So, are you going to pull your head out of your ass and be with me, or are you going to give up like a pussy? Because I need a man.”
This woman. This fucking woman is going to be the death of me. I don’t even know how I end up in front of her, but before I know it, my mouth slams to hers, and I own it with my tongue. It’s not enough. I need every inch of her.
Shoving my groin against hers, I growl, “I’ll show you a fucking man.”
Pushing me away, she snaps, “You can’t solve everything by fucking me.”
I watch as she jerks on her shoes and grabs her keys. “Where are you going?”
“Shopping. I need to get the fuck away from you while your balls are still intact.” She glares back at me from the doorway. “And in case I didn’t make it clear…I will be back.” Bounding out the door I can hear her grumbling to herself. I can’t really tell what she’s saying, but I do make out the word dipshit, so I’m assuming it’s not complimentary.
For the first time in my life, I feel at a loss of what to do about a woman. I’ve never had to deal with any of this before. I mean, I’ve pissed chicks off before, but never one I cared about. I’d just let them leave and find another one.
I really was trying to spare Sadie from all the shit in my life right now, but I also realize she’s right. I can’t expect her to let me help her if I’m not willing to do the same. Running my hand through my hair, I grab my phone when it starts ringing. Without looking at the screen, I press accept, hoping it’s Sadie and she’s coming right back.
“Justus?” Hannah’s voice is cautious. “Are you there?”
“Hannah! Are you okay?”
“Yeah, well…I’ve been better, but I’ll be okay. Is Sadie there?”
“No, you aren’t interrupting anything. Don’t worry. Tell me how you’re doing.”
“I just wanted to apologize to her for showing up the way I did and thank her for bringing me back.”
It takes a second for her words to sink in. “Sadie brought you back to the rehab?”
“Yes, I-I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry I worried you. She told me you were really upset.” A voice mumbles in the background. “I’ve got to go. They only allowed me five minutes. I’m sorry, Justus. I promise I won’t leave again. Are you still coming to family therapy?”
“It’s okay. I’ll be there. Just take care of yourself, Han. I love you.”
“Love you,” she replies, and the line goes dead.
Sadie took Hannah back to rehab? How did she even find her? And the place is an hour away. No wonder Sadie looked like she hadn’t slept much. Shit. I really screwed up and I have no idea what to do about it.
I can’t go to Dare for advice. Ayda is Sadie’s best friend and I don’t need the backlash from her. With a sigh, I text Landon.
-Hey, Raisin. You up?-
It’s a fair question. Since he can’t go out during the daylight, Landon often stays out all night and sleeps half the day.
-What do you want, Miley?-
Asshole. I’m never going to live down that wrecking ball performance.
-I’m coming by.-
-Bring beer.-
My phone beeps with another message as I grab my keys and lock the door.
-And pizza.-
Beer and pizza it is. It’s a small price to pay if he can help me smooth over things with Sadie.
* * * *
Zoe and her brother, Ethan, are leaving just as I park my car in their driveway. “Hi.” Zoe waves. “Go on in. Landon’s in the kitchen waiting for his delivery man. His words not mine.”
“Thanks for the warning. I’ll be sure to lick the top of his beer.”
Ethan laughs, and they both get in their car while I let myself in the house.
“Pizza and beer from The Way Too Damn Sexy Delivery Service,” I announce, sitting the food on the table.
“I ordered a woman, not a guy with hair like a woman,” Landon says, grinning at me from the sink where he’s wiping a dish.
“You know you’d blow me if I offered. Look at you being all domestic and shit.” I grab a beer and lean against the wall. “Teach me how to be whipped.”
“Fuck off, stripper. So, what’s up? You bored today or did Sadie wise up and ditch your oiled ass?”
Damn. That hit a little close to home. “The second one.”
Drying his hands, he stares at me. “Seriously?”
“Sort of. She said she’d be back, but…” I spend the next ten minutes filling him in on the last twenty-four hours, feeling like a chick for spilling my guts. We migrate to the living room where a video game is paused on his TV.
“Wow. You come off as a real dick in that story.” Landon grabs a controller and tosses me the other one.
“Thanks. I figured that much out for myself. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Do you love her?” Landon asks as we start playing. I’m glad for the distraction. It’s easier to answer questions like these when we’re not looking at each other.
“Yeah, I do.”
“You want her to yourself? No other women?”
“I only want her.” I manage to hit the button a split second before Landon and blow up his player.
“Then stop second guessing yourself. I get what you’re saying. I thought the same way when Zoe and I got together. Shit, man, I never thought any woman would be willing to be with someone who lives like a vampire because of a disease. And then when I learned she could see past that, I didn’t think she’d want me once she realized I can’t give her a kid without the risk of passing it on.
“I almost ruined everything because I just assumed I knew how she felt.” Shaking his head, he shoots me a sideways grin. “They’re women. We never know how they fucking feel.”
“She says she wants to be with me, be there for me while I’m helping Hannah through everything.”
“Then you just have to make a decision. Decide what you want and stick to it. You can’t run from her when things get rough. She helps you, you help her. It’s simple, really. And trust me, no matter what kind of shit we talk, we all need back up. Hannah needs you, but you’ll need someone to fall back on, too.”
He laughs as he blows up my character on screen.
“She’s really pissed. I’ve got some serious groveling to do.”
“Then what the hell are you doing here with me?”
He’s right. “I’m going. Thanks for the advice. Don’t tell the guys or I’ll swear you were wearing Zoe’s panties when I showed up.”
“Good luck, asshole. Oh, and I talked to Jeremy. He’s on board with our new way of doing things.”
The first thing I did when I got back was talk to Dare and Landon about the way we deal with predators. They both agreed with me that we were pressing our luck and from now on, we’ll stick to sending the info to the police. That’s not to say we won’t monitor the ones that beat the system and…encourage them to change their ways. And we discussed keeping the pigs just in case a rare occurrence arises where we have no choice but to take out a psycho, but I’m no longer the ISH executioner. I’m glad Jeremy agrees as well.
“We also agreed to sign the farmhouse over to Tucker. He might not be able to hack, but he’ll still help when we need some muscle. He’s also working for Mason Reed occasionally, when Striking Back needs a little extra security.”
Tucker has been living at the farm for nearly a year now, caring for the pigs and Jed’s old dog, Humper. He’s an ex-marine who was court martialed and served four years for killing his friend and fellow sold
ier to protect an Afghani woman the friend was trying to rape. In short, he’s a good man to have on our side.
“Glad to hear it. I’ve got a woman to win back, so I’ll see you later.”
“Good Luck, Miley.”
My next stop is Dare’s place where I’m happy to find Ayda at home. I really need her help to arrange a surprise slash groveling apology to my girl.
“Please, Ayda. I know you can get tickets.”
“I can, and there’s a dance tonight. I can call ahead and let them know you’re coming.”
“Thank you.”
“You’d better treat her right, Justus. Sadie is an amazing person. She’s always been good to me.”
“I know. I screwed up and I’m trying to make it up to her.”
Dare bursts into laughter. I’m amazed he held it back as long as he did. “Swing dancing? You’re going to go swing dancing?”
“Fuck off, Hulk. I’m a dancer. It’s not that strange.”
“You realize these dances don’t require you to strip or grind on anything, right?”
Ayda shoots Dare a dirty look, and he leaves the room, still laughing.
“You think Sadie will like it, right?”
A soft smile spreads across her face. “She’ll love it. Dance isn’t her life like it is mine, but she’s always wanted to try swing dancing.”
“Yeah, she mentioned it before. Shit, she probably needs a dress or something, right? And what should I wear?”
Laughing at my ineptitude, Zoe fills me in on the appropriate clothing and promises to make sure Sadie is dressed for our night out. All I have to do is get myself ready and meet them at Sadie’s sister’s dance studio at eight. I’m not sure why I’m meeting them there, but I’m not going to argue.
Chapter Fifteen
Sadie
My feet pound the pavement as I make my way into the shopping center. The asshole actually tried to break up with me! After all that I love you talk, he wanted to split at the first sign of trouble. He obviously doesn’t know me very well if he thinks I’m that easy to get rid of. It’d be different if he didn’t love me or truly didn’t want me, but this is just him trying to be some kind of white knight. A martyr trying to sacrifice his happiness for mine.
It may sound good to some, but it just pisses me off. I’ve never needed to be taken care of. I pride myself on being independent, making my own decisions and dealing with the consequences of them. I don’t need to be saved. This princess can rescue herself.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want my smirky stripper by my side while I do it, though, so he’s going to have to get over himself. Damn, that man can frustrate me. Shopping therapy is exactly what I need.
After I took Hannah back to rehab last night, I slept in her room. I realized that she really doesn’t have anything, and when she gets out, she’s going to need a comfortable place to recover. It’s time to give my credit card a workout.
I start with bedding and a few decorations for her room. Right now it’s just plain, but the bold red and gray comforter set I toss in the cart should brighten it up. I take my time picking up a few accessories, a vase, a few pictures for the bare walls, and a fuzzy rug.
My next stop is the clothing department. I don’t know her taste, but I was able to see her sizes from the few T-shirts and jeans she left at Justus’s place. They were big on her, but I assume she’ll gain some weight now that she’s drug free and has access to food. For now, I just grab her some basics; jeans, tees, a hoodie, some socks.
My next stop is the drugstore. Of course, Justus made sure she had the necessities, but I pick up a few things he didn’t think of. Shampoo and conditioner, a new brush, razors, shaving gel, and moisturizer.
Just as I’m piling everything into my trunk, Ayda calls.
“Sade, what are you doing?”
“Shopping and plotting Justus’s violent death. What’s up?”
“Oh hell, do you want to tell me what he did?”
“Underestimated me, but he’ll learn,” I laugh.
Ayda chuckles. “Will you meet me at the studio about seven? I need your help with something.”
“Sure, I’m not in any hurry to see him right now anyway.”
“He just left with Dare, so I wouldn’t expect him anytime soon.” Good. I can take all this stuff back to his place without arguing with him. I meant what I said about being there for him, but I also know my temper, and I need a few hours to cool off.
Justus isn’t home when I get there. Good thing we exchanged keys a while back. It feels strange being in his place alone, like I’m sneaking around or something, but if he didn’t want me here, he wouldn’t have given me a key, right?
I put some music on while I strip down the guest room that has now become Hannah’s and make the bed with the new bedding. I take my time hanging the pictures and rolling out the rug at the foot of the bed. The toiletries get placed on the counter in the attached bathroom. There, that’s much better, I think, surveying the room with satisfaction. I don’t know when Hannah will be released, but at least the place will feel a little more like home.
My stomach rumbles, reminding me I skipped lunch. A glance at my phone tells me I have just enough time to grab a bite and a shower before I meet Ayda at the studio. I’m glad she called. Dancing off some frustration is just the thing I need tonight.
The studio is dark when I get there, though Ayda’s car is in the lot. “Ayda?” I call, stepping inside.
“In the dressing room!” she shouts.
I find her holding a fire red Audrey Hepburn style halter dress and black, low heeled, sling back shoes. “Is Dare taking you out tonight?”
“Nope, these are for you. Try them on.”
My eyebrow leaps up as I stare at her. “Why are you bringing me a dress?”
“I thought it would look good on you. I don’t have the boobs to pull it off, so let me live vicariously through you, and try it on.”
“Okaaay.” Like Justus, Ayda can be a little eccentric sometimes, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings so I pull on the dress and slip into the shoes. She steps up behind me and zips up the dress with a smile on her face, then drags me over to the mirror.
Damn. I do look good in this dress. The sweetheart neckline showcases just enough cleavage while pushing up my breasts, and the material clings to my narrow waist before flaring over my hips, giving me that hourglass shape. “It’s beautiful, but I don’t know where I’d wear it.”
“Out dancing. You’re always saying you want to go to the dance hall on swing dancing night.”
“Yeah, I doubt Justus would be up for that,” I scoff.
“Don’t tell me I got all dressed up for nothing.”
My head whips around to find Justus standing behind me, a dozen roses in his hand. Shock steals my ability to speak at the sight of him standing there in a pair of black slacks and a navy blue button down shirt. A mischievous smile, blond curls sneaking onto his forehead, and those bright eyes all come together to form one sexy son of a bitch. And he is mine.
The way his eyes heat as they sweep over me assures me he likes what he sees as well. “Fuck, Sweets. I can’t take you out like that. I’ll have to beat the shit out of every man we pass.”
Swallowing hard, I find my voice. “You’re taking me out?”
He suddenly looks self-conscious, and it only makes him more endearing. I’ve never seen him unsure. “Ayda got us in at the dance hall tonight.”
My jaw drops. “You want to swing dance with me?”
“I want to do everything with you, Sadie.”
Ayda lets out a little squeak, reminding us she’s watching. Her gaze jumps back and forth between us, a wide smile on her face.
Justus laughs. “Thanks for everything, Tiny Dancer. I’ve got it from here.”
“Well, don’t fuck it up,” she says, and leaves us alone in the dressing room.
Justus approaches me, and I take the roses from him. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
“Like you.”
“You clean up pretty well yourself,” I tease, placing the roses on the vanity and lacing my arms around his neck.
“I’m irresistible. Admit it,” he murmurs, pressing a soft, sweet kiss to my lips.
“I plead the fifth.”
“You’ll be pleading later.” His eyes delve into mine. “I’m sorry. You were right. It goes both ways. I want you with me no matter what we have to deal with. We’ll do it together.” Hugging me tight he says, “I saw what you did to Hannah’s room. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted her to be comfortable when she comes home.”
“I love you,” he murmurs.
“I love you,” I sigh, running my hand through his hair. I swear I can’t keep my hands out of it.
“Will you still love me when you see I have no idea how to swing dance?”
Laughing, I step back and grab the roses. “Neither do I. We’ll just copy everyone else.”
“Let’s do it.”
When we make our way inside the club, the party is in full swing. A jazz band plays on a stage in the corner while couples dance away on the dance floor in the center of the room. Excitement buzzes through me. I’ve always wanted to do this!
Justus chuckles at my exuberance and leans down to place a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. “You’re so beautiful when you smile.”
How can the same guy who can’t go two minutes without cracking a joke or saying something dirty also say such sweet things? This man really keeps me on my toes, but I love it. “Thanks for bringing me here.”
He beams at me. “I need at least one drink before we go out there.”
Twenty minutes later our apprehension is forgotten as we find our rhythm and move with the rest of the couples.
It’s the most fun I’ve had in years. Despite our worries, there are plenty of people here who don’t know the dances and are doing their best the same as us. Two hours and countless dances later I’m a sweaty mess, and Justus still looks amazing. His hair is damp and sticking to his face, and it reminds me of how he looks after we fuck. After watching him move his lithe, sexy body in those clothes, I can’t wait to tear them off of him.
