by Joanne Rock
“We’re here for Teddy Harris.” He willed the nurse at the counter to give him good news. Tell him his nephew was okay. “I’m his legal guardian.”
“He’s in room three.” She pointed to a door behind the nurse’s station. “The doctor is in with him now.”
James was already moving. Lydia’s high heels tapped a quick beat to his longer strides and he slowed a fraction to give her his arm. His movements felt wooden, his body on autopilot.
She accepted his help in silence, her expression mirroring the fear that chilled his insides.
“He’s going to be okay.” He told himself as much as her. Needing it to be true.
The hospital room was quiet, after all. Surely there would be all sorts of noise and staff in motion if the worst was happening.
Still, dread filled him as he pushed the door open. Teddy’s grandparents stood on either side of the toddler. Between them, Teddy lay in a hospital crib. Around him, monitors beeped quietly and an IV bag hung by the bed, giving some kind of fluids into the boy’s tiny arm. An oxygen mask covered the lower half of his face. His eyes were closed, but James wasn’t sure if that was because he was sleeping or because of the swelling around his eyes.
His skin was pink and splotchy.
James didn’t know how he remained standing upright. But he thought it helped that Lydia squeezed his arm hard for a moment before she hurried to the baby’s side. Her hands fell to his little knee through the white blanket that partially covered him.
“Is he—” James felt his throat close up tight.
Death had stolen everyone from him. Everyone. He could not lose Teddy.
His eyes burned.
“He’ll be fine, Mr. Harris.” A shorter man in a white lab coat stepped between James and the crib, offering his hand. “I’m Dr. Voss.”
“He’s okay?” James shook the man’s hand, though half his attention was still on the other side of the room where Lydia leaned over the crib wall to stroke Teddy’s dark curls.
A swell of love for her filled his chest, easing some of the fear. He turned back to the doctor, needing the rest of the story before he could believe Teddy would make a full recovery.
“He’s stable now. The EMT crew faced the worst of it on the way over here.” Behind Dr. Voss, Mrs. Mason released a quiet sob, a ball of tissues wadded up in one hand.
Teddy’s grandfather moved around to the other side of the bed to be by his wife, sliding an arm around her shoulders.
The doctor continued, “We’re still giving him some cortisone and antihistamines intravenously, and we wanted to keep him on supplemental oxygen for a little while. But we’re monitoring him carefully just in case he exhibits any more signs of distress.”
“What about his face?” Lydia asked from the bedside. “He’s so swollen.”
“We’ll get some ice on that,” the doctor assured her, backing toward the door. “I’ll ask a nurse to come in and remove the oxygen in about thirty minutes, and we’ll start some ice for the swelling. But it should go down on its own in time.”
“He already looks better than—” Teddy’s grandfather, George, interjected “—before.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourselves, folks.” The doctor paused with the door half open. “You did the right thing coming in. Even if you had administered his EpiPen, we would have wanted to see him after that kind of a reaction.”
Samantha Mason let out another sob behind her tissue as she sat down.
Relief flooded through James. “He’s going to be okay.”
“James, I’m so sorry.” Samantha straightened from where she’d been slumped in a metal chair near the bed. “George had a snack pack of cereal that he eats sometimes when his sugar is low. We’d never give Teddy anything like that after what you said about the nut allergy, but we think he must have eaten a piece that fell on the floor. Right?” She turned to her husband for confirmation.
George shrugged. “I don’t remember dropping any, but maybe I did. I was feeling a little shaky. But the next thing we knew, Teddy was wheezing.”
James understood mistakes happened. It could have been him who’d dropped a piece of food that Teddy ate. Or Lydia. Still, he couldn’t help a spike of frustration. “So what happened with the EpiPen?”
The couple exchanged looks before George answered, “When you showed it to us, I thought you took it from the top kitchen drawer in the island.”
James shook his head. “I keep it in the diaper bag.”
He knew the bag had been sitting on top of the island when he’d shown it to them. But it didn’t matter now. He’d make sure the hospital sent them home with another. While he spoke with the Masons, Lydia rose and let herself out of the room.
His gaze followed her. Was she leaving for good? Or just getting a nurse? Maybe she simply didn’t want to hear all the ways the Masons had endangered Teddy. Truth was, he found it tough to hear the story, too. Especially since their babysitting had ended with Teddy in an oxygen mask, hooked up to an IV.
Guilt swamped him. He should’ve done so much better by his brother’s child. Teddy was the only family James had left, and he hadn’t taken that responsibility seriously enough.
Was this some kind of cosmic payback for almost giving up custody of the boy? He’d been a fool to ever consider it.
Samantha shivered, rubbing her arms as tears welled in her eyes again. “I was pulling out all the drawers in the island. I just kept thinking how we’d already lost Mandy, and now we were going to lose her little boy, too.”
“I called 911 right away,” George offered, shaking his balding head. “It all happened so fast.”
James had heard enough. He really wanted to be with his nephew. “Anyone would have been scared to see that happen,” he reassured them since there was nothing to be gained in arguing with them. “You must be exhausted after going through that. If you want to go back to the hotel, I can call you if there’s any change in his condition.”
He also really hoped Lydia hadn’t left. But Samantha Mason was still visibly upset as she continued telling him about her daughter, Parker’s wife. Between tears, she said, “And we never did see Mandy again. Never had a chance to heal our differences. Little Teddy is all we have left of our beautiful daughter now.”
Something about the way she’d phrased it made James uncomfortable. Did they really see Teddy as a replacement for their dead daughter? James tried to offer some comforting words if only to speed the Masons out the door.
Teddy wasn’t a replacement for anyone. He was an innocent boy who’d lost too much in his young life, and he deserved the best that James had to offer.
From now on, he needed to focus on his family.
That meant Teddy. He saw that all too clearly now. Teddy was his, now and always.
And, if he could find her, he wanted to tell Lydia that he finally understood what she’d been trying to tell him all along. That Teddy was his family. But the part that Lydia hadn’t figured out yet was that she was his family, too. Because he was ready to claim Teddy as his son, and he wanted Lydia to be at his side when he did.
* * *
Lydia couldn’t sleep when she got back to the house.
She put the kitchen back in order so Mrs. Davis wouldn’t return from her New Year’s holiday to find spoons and papers on the tile floor, but after that she went upstairs to pack her things.
Seeing Teddy in the hospital bed had been devastating. Rationally, she knew his exposure to tree nuts could have happened to any babysitter. Yet it upset her to think the Masons not only let the substance into the house where their grandson had a serious allergy, but then they hadn’t even been able to locate the medicine that could have slowed the reaction and possibly prevented anaphylaxis. Every second would have counted for that first responder team when they arrived on the scene.
They could have lost Teddy.
Although as much as she’d grown to love the little boy and his uncle, Lydia knew she had no claim on them. They weren’t hers to love. So she had phoned her sister in the predawn hours, asking Gail to act as a babysitter if Teddy needed one when James returned from the hospital with him.
Gail might be financially irresponsible, but Lydia trusted her to watch a child. Even a severely allergic child. That certainty in her gut made Lydia realize she needed to make peace with Gail. Because they were still family, and Gail had never asked her to cover for her with the bachelor auction bid.
Lydia had involved herself in that situation on her own. She was a caretaker. A fixer. And she could tell herself that it was okay to say no to unnecessary crazy as many times as she wanted, but she kept jumping in to help. She’d realized in this last painful week without James that she needed to take ownership of her own life.
She had changed for the better because of knowing him. Lydia had a newfound acceptance of her family—and the pieces of herself that had been shaped by them. She would have to appreciate those changes, since they would be all she had left of her time with James. She understood herself too well to try to accept the path he chose, a path without Teddy.
When she heard the low hum of a car engine outside, she hurried to the front door, expecting to see her sister. She twisted the knob, tugging the double panels open, and was shocked to find James’s black sedan rolling to a stop in the driveway.
A lump rose to her throat. The tug of emotions in her belly was nothing new around him, but it hurt far more now that she couldn’t act on those feelings. Now that she had to find a way to forget about him.
The thought twisted sharply inside her, reminding her that wouldn’t ever happen.
James stepped from the driver’s side door, his gaze locking on her. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Opening the rear door, he leaned into the vehicle to unfasten the restraint on the car seat.
Lydia moved closer, wanting to see Teddy even though she knew every moment she spent with him only made it harder to leave. She needed to know he was okay.
“My sister’s coming over,” she told James while he lifted the baby in his strong arms, his shoulders blocking her view of Teddy. She closed the door behind them, then heard another car turning into the driveway. “That might be her now, in fact.”
She reminded herself it was for the best to turn over her nanny duties to Gail for however long James still needed help with Teddy. Lydia didn’t want to be in the house when they packed his things to send him to Amarillo with the Masons.
“I know. I spoke to Lloyd a few minutes ago.”
“Lloyd?” Lydia followed James as he strode toward the house, trying to peek around his shoulder to see Teddy’s face.
She’d changed into jeans and a sweater, but James still wore his tuxedo from the New Year’s Eve Ball. The bow tie hung around his neck, the top button of his shirt undone. He still looked too handsome for his own good.
Too handsome for hers, at least.
James paused on the front mat, glancing down at her. “The bachelor she fell head over heels for, remember?”
“Right.” She found it hard to think about her sister’s drama with too much of her own crowding her thoughts and breaking her heart. “Of course.”
Glancing back at new vehicle in the driveway, she realized it wasn’t Gail’s compact. There was a man in the driver’s seat of an exotic-looking sports car, but from the passenger side, Gail gave Lydia a wave.
Confused, Lydia waved back, then hurried after James as he stepped inside the house.
“Lloyd wants to give me a check to cover your sister’s bid. I told him it was not necessary, but he was so insistent, we agreed he’d donate the money to the Pancreatic Research Cancer Foundation.”
“Really? That’s amazing.” She couldn’t fully process that news and the implications it might have when she really just wanted to see Teddy’s face first. Distracted by worries about the baby, she stepped closer to James again. “May I just see him? Is he really okay?”
“He’s still a little groggy.” James dipped his shoulder so Lydia could have a better view of the boy. “The doctor said to just let him rest for a few hours and the last of the swelling should dissipate by evening.”
“Thank goodness.” Relief rushed through her, so strong it made her weak in the knees. She couldn’t resist a final, gentle squeeze of Teddy’s arm. A stroke of his fluffy dark curls. “I’m so glad he’s okay.”
“Me, too.” James’s gaze held hers for a moment, making her aware of how close they stood.
Heat grazed her skin, the pull of attraction so strong in spite of everything. Stepping away from him was downright painful.
“Hello!” Gail called through the front door, knocking gently before cracking it open a sliver. “Can we come in?”
“Please do.” James invited them inside. Gail and a tall, blond-haired man with a square jaw and aviator sunglasses.
Gail had the same “in love” glow that Tessa Noble had when she’d stopped by with Ryan earlier in the month. Gail introduced Lydia to Lloyd while James excused himself to put Teddy in his crib.
“Nice to meet you,” Lydia said automatically as she shook Lloyd’s hand, although her eyes followed James’s progress up the main staircase.
“You, too,” Lloyd said, tugging off his shades. “And we’re going to stay out of your hair. We’re only here for babysitting duty.” He grinned. “You get two for the price of one with us.”
Lydia tried to smile, charmed in spite of herself by Gail’s new boyfriend. But it was hard to make small talk when her heart ached.
Once Gail and Lloyd went to watch over Teddy, there was nothing to keep Lydia here. Her gaze fell on the suitcases she’d already packed and set near the front door.
“There’s a playroom near the nursery,” she told them, thinking of all the hours she’d spent there in the last weeks, delighting in Teddy’s accomplishments as he lost himself in playtime and forgot to be the confused, fractious little boy she’d met that first day at the Texas Cattleman’s Club. “It has a sitting area—”
“We’ll be fine,” Gail assured her while Lloyd tugged her toward the stairs by the hand. Behind him, she mouthed silently to Lydia, “He’s so hot!”
If there’d been any doubt what she was saying, Gail fanned herself before she had to focus on the steps.
“But—” She had hoped to speak with her sister longer. At very least, to apologize for intruding in Gail’s business when clearly she had addressed the situation herself.
The couple holding hands were too far up the stairs now, however. They passed James, who pointed out the door to the nursery and the playroom on his way down.
Toward her.
Her throat closed right up at the thought of saying goodbye to him.
“Lydia, wait.” He’d taken the time to change into dark jeans and a long-sleeved white T-shirt. He tugged one of the ribbed cuffs higher on his forearm as he strode into the living area. “Can we talk?”
“I was just—” She pointed to her suitcases, not sure what else there was to say. “I called my sister to take over for me until the Masons—”
“There will be no Masons.” He took her hands in his, surprising her with his touch as much as his words. She looked up into his light brown eyes flecked with gold, and, as always, warmth tripped down her spine at the mere sight of him.
Sunlight spilled over her shoulders through the big windows, the holiday decorations casting rainbow reflections around the room.
“I don’t understand.” Unless...a horrible thought occurred to her. “Did they decide not to take him because of what happened? Is he too much trouble?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Nothing like that. They love Teddy and feel terrible about triggering the allergy.”
She relaxed slightly as the maternal defe
nsiveness eased. “Then what do you mean?”
He squeezed her hands tighter, his thumbs stroking the insides of her wrists. “I can’t describe the fear I felt last night when we walked into that emergency room. Not just a fear that I’d messed up my brother’s one wish for me that I keep his son safe.” He hauled in a long breath. “I knew I’d be devastated to lose him, too. Because I love that child, and I’m not going to ever let him go.”
“Oh, James, that’s wonderful.” She was thrilled for him. For Teddy. “You’ll make such an amazing father.”
She was overwhelmed with the urge to hug him, so she did. Even though it hurt to feel so much love for him, to feel so close to him, and not be able to share in the future he painted.
Because even though it was almost everything she could have wished for, the picture he painted hadn’t included her.
The reality of that brought her back to earth in a thud of awkwardness over how she’d thrown herself into his strong arms to hug him. She tried to ease back.
Only he kept on holding her tight, burying his head in her hair.
“Lydia. I’ve missed you so much,” he spoke into her hair, the scruff on his jaw snagging the strands.
Her heart pounded harder. She hardly dared to hope...
“I’m—” She’d already told him how she felt. So she clamped down on the thought now as she pulled away. “I know Teddy will be so happy to grow up here. Where he belongs.”
Her eyes stung a little. Happy tears, she told herself.
“You belong here, too, Lydia. With me.” His voice hit that deep note that rumbled right through her, even though it was softly spoken.
“I—” Blinking, she tried to focus on what he was saying. She couldn’t afford to misunderstand when she was already holding together the pieces of herself from the heartbreak of the past week. “I can’t be his nanny anymore, though. Not when—”
“Not as a nanny.” He drew her closer again, curling a finger under her chin to look into her eyes. “As my wife.” He let the words sink in. Holding her gaze with his. Canting closer to speak softly against her cheek. “Marry me, Lydia Walker. I can’t get through another day without you in my life. I love you too much.”
