Salt Shaken

by Winnie Winkle

  * * *

  “Ladies, Parker, I’d like you to meet Chaos.”

  For the first time during our entire friendship, Chelsea sat, flummoxed. It didn’t last long.

  * * *

  “But your signature! You aren’t a god. You evidence as a wizard. And always have. How is that possible?”

  * * *

  “Well, technically, I mean, it’s not technical, but in the extrapolation, my dear magical, I’m not a god, either.”

  * * *

  “Primordials have the same signature as gods,” Chelsea argued, her tone stubborn. “None can change their signature. That is magical law.”

  * * *

  “My dear girl, I am not a primordial. I know the stories, but one detail escapes everyone.”

  * * *

  Glenna bent forward, listening with intent. “Ooh, I understand. How simple yet satisfactory.”

  * * *

  Waldo’s high-pitched laugh filled the crammed sitting room. “Well, it’s not a secret, dearest. A truth, plain as anything else in the magical world.”

  * * *

  Parker stared, eyes bugging. “You’re the first! Everything came from Chaos.”

  * * *

  “This youngster has potential, Keeper. He’s not you, but I enjoy him.” Waldo fluffed his beard, strands folding into symbols, straightening, and new ones flowing into patterns, single white hairs forming stories, instructions, and decisions.

  * * *

  “The boy is correct,” he continued. “I don’t register as any entity other than that which I choose. For the past few hundred years, representing mere moments to me, I dwelled, interested to see the intersections and attempts to shift the worlds to a new order. Within me, ongoing change is normal. But passions, the desire to create momentum for transformation, that’s forever a fascination to observe.”

  * * *

  I shifted in my seat, thinking fast. “Waldo, if I release Tartarus, will that placate Gaia?”

  * * *

  Bright eyes held mine. “No idea, Keeper. You are writing this moment. I’m content to spin in perpetuity, watching the threads come together and pull apart.” He giggled. “It’s what I do.”

  * * *

  I slapped my thighs and stood in the cramped little room. “That’s not the way. Waldo, will you accompany us on this gamble?”

  * * *

  “But of course, dear girl. They’re my favorite occasions.”

  * * *

  “Where are we going?” Chelsea rose, settling her waist sack.

  * * *

  “I’m ready, Keeper, what’s next?” Glenna checked Parker’s vertigo vial and nodded. “That refilling spell is a good one.”

  * * *

  I cut my eyes to Parker. “Care to hazard a theory?”

  * * *

  His face was uncertain. “I don’t get this, Patra. None of the remaining options stands out.”

  * * *

  “Try.”

  * * *

  He blew out a whistling breath. “If I had to speculate, I’d say Gaia. She’s the problem, and if she knows you’re helping her, maybe she’d stop before she wreaks the world.”

  * * *

  “Do you think she’ll abandon her anger? Her pain sears, as ancient as the ages.”

  * * *

  “Why is destroying Earth’s life her solution in the first place? Pretty fucking extreme.”

  * * *

  “And?”

  * * *

  He blinked. “Irrational?”

  * * *

  “Parker, if someone perches, ready to jump off a bridge, what would you say?.”

  * * *

  “Appeal to them to consider others? How their act affects the ones left?”

  * * *

  God, he’s so young. How did I pull this off at his age?

  * * *

  “That’s a good thought. What does it mean in the larger context?”

  * * *

  Parker’s silence stretched, and we sat, giving him space to think while Waldo’s beard strands twisted and straightened, aligned with the unending decisions of the creation.

  * * *

  He jacked bolt upright, eyes boring into mine.

  * * *

  “There you go, Kid. Not your average job, eh?”

  * * *

  “Holy shit.”

  * * *

  “Yup. Let’s go.”

  * * *

  “Where to, my dear?”

  * * *

  “Shall we visit the Underworld, Waldo?”

  * * *

  “An excellent suggestion.”

  * * *

  The intricate rug below our feet rotated, colors swirling into a rainbow vortex as the floor gave way to nothing. In a slow twirl, Chelsea, Glenna, Parker and I spun around a chuckling Waldo.

  * * *

  “What is this place, Waldo?” I shouted, moving in a relaxed whip as we circled his body, inhaling the scent of ozone.

  * * *

  “We’re in a suspension of space and time, darling, and going nowhere!”

  * * *

  “Why do we feel motion and gravity?” Glenna asked, peering with interest.

  * * *

  “Is this a trap or a trick?” Chelsea muttered. “How long do we fall? Forever?”

  * * *

  Parker’s bugged eyes darted between each of us.

  * * *

  He’s freaked. I can relate.

  * * *

  Waldo winked. “At your leisure, my dear. The duration is meaningless.”

  * * *

  I closed my eyelids, arms lit with symbols, and spoke the word.

  Chapter 28

  “Gotcha.”

  To Gaia’s credit, she snatched me on the first bounce. Chelsea’s offensive spell landed on Gaia with a crackle that singed my hair.

  “Death.” Gaia spoke as if the wind, a dry push that pierced Chelsea, turning her skin ashen in the time it took for Glenna’s agonized cry to erupt. The underworld’s sands puffed, a rolling requiem, as Chelsea fell, lifeless.

  “She need be the only one,” Gaia’s voice filled Hades’ purple landscape. “Govern yourself accordingly.”

  “Gai-a. GAI-A!”

  Chelsea’s body lay motionless, red hair splayed in a gruesome counterpoint to the lavender landscape. Glenna knelt beside her in a keening rock, shoulders swaying as her hands touched every bit, seeking the spark to reanimate. Parker, his mouth a round O, stood frozen in shock.

  “Gai-a. GAIA!” The voice sing-songed, more the cry of a lost child than mocking.

  “Who dares to call my name in this plane?”

  At first, the bars of color resembled a sunset, but they deepened, connecting and creeping across the sands. Whirls of blended grace surrounded the six of us, a calliope, dizzying and solidifying as each one compressed and connected to the color bars on either side. My shoulders jostled against Parker’s as we bumped and shuffled into Waldo, then Gaia, until we crushed in a weird magical tombstone at Chelsea’s head. Glenna, still pouring over her beloved child, didn’t glance up as we stepped on her, loving tears streaming while she sought to find the life force, however weakened.

  Gaia’s rage, flirting with deranged, shook my frame. Out of control, Parker jerked next to me. Waldo laid a tiny hand upon each of our forearms, and the sensation, still flaring, no longer consumed.

  Chelsea’s eyes flipped open, blazing blue, and my heart squished, overwhelmed with emotion as my skin celebrated, symbols rising and falling like waves.

  Love, Love, Love. Holy shit. Lennon and McCartney revisited. Eros saved her.

  “Mama?”

  Gaia sucked in whatever Hades calls the atmosphere of his personal death valley and exploded, expanding until she towered above us. Waldo didn’t reach her big toenail, and I stared across the bones visible along the tops of her bare feet.

  This can’t possibly turn out well. I’m a grape in Hades’ barrel.

  “To what
do I owe this pleasure?” Hades’ voice was smooth, but he radiated god mojo. He stood toe to toe with super-sized Gaia, slipping on sunglasses that resembled a pair of semi tractor-trailers, size-wise. I reached for Parker and gripped his hand.

  “Whatever you do, breathe, Kid. Don’t puke.”

  “It’s OK, Patra. I barfed everything at Waldo’s front door. Passing out is on the table, though.”

  Parker’s skin, tinged with green, left him alternating between resembling a fifteen-year-old at his first kegger and a career drunk at Walmart shuffling along the canned chili aisle.

  Absorbed with the towering god heads above me, I never saw Guru land until his meaty paw gripped my shoulder.

  “Forget something?”

  Ballard.

  Human bodies aren’t designed to handle any of this, so falling through time and space, landing in the underworld, and sitting in the middle of Eros’ crazy merry-go-round of crushing color are not scenarios suitable for longevity. Ballard made Parker look good.

  Shit. Oh Baby, I’m so sorry.

  Ballard’s unsteady grip reached behind Guru’s back and squeezed my hand until my finger bones screamed. It kept me alert in the moment, which helped.

  Ignoring Guru, I edged Ballard toward me, then yanked him, hard, into the crush with the rest of us.

  Maybe Eros’ mojo can help. I’m winging all of this, so who the fuck knows?

  Waldo shot me a grin.

  I’m either screwing this up, and that’s funny to him, or doing OK, which is also amusing, but has a better ending. Either way, we will love to the end.

  I wrapped my arms around Ballard and whispered, “I love you. Stay with me. We remain forever entwined.”

  “This feels excessive,” Hades boomed. “Let’s regroup with drinks.”

  The group materialized on his patio, lit by the just set sun, and Parker stumbled but held his own. Ballard, not so much. His body struggled to survive in the life after death scene.

  Knees buckling, he collapsed, and we crashed into a heap. My hands ran over the familiar contours, cradling his head.

  “I can save you,” I whispered.

  Hades pulled his shades down his nose. “Already, Keeper? We’ve a long road ahead.”

  My mouth opened, and we were alone, me, Ballard, and Hades. The others resembled shadows, moving behind a screen.

  “I accept I won’t see tomorrow’s sunrise, Hades. This man is my love. We are originals. I can’t imagine not making this choice.”

  “You don’t get another vial, Patra. I could save this soul and take Parker right in front of you. Or Guru, Glenna, or Chelsea. Be very certain.”

  Guru? What the actual fuck? Why do I care? Should I? Is this a hint or a distraction?

  Chiseled lips drew back in a grin. “Not my place to tell you, Keeper. I will say I know you won’t keep the free pass for yourself. That was never in my calculations.”

  Well, fuck. Is that another hint? Dammit, Patra, THINK.

  “Mortals are forever entertaining,” Hades chuckled, as the patio, filled with magicals, brightened back into view and Ballard shook in my arms.

  My eyes snapped to Gaia’s. “This death, unnecessary and cruel, is on you, and your offspring is complicit. What’s the value of pulling a human into the underworld in an unnatural way? Information you lack is that this human and I are originals, one of Eros’ first love pairings. Not only are you discounting the power of your creation, your actions disrespect the origin of love, a primordial underpinning. You and Guru defile creation by killing this human by choice, and your malice is on full display to the universe.”

  I sat back and waited for the smite. At least we’d be together.

  Ballard’s back arched, the beginning of the end. My eyes, glued to Gaia’s, leaked tears. This was my fault, my choice, my enacting. Once again, I’m killing my heart’s mate.

  Who’s the real monster? No, that’s not a truth. Love is not destruction, love is the redemption.

  Gaia waved her enormous hand, a dismissive gesture, and Ballard’s chest filled, a gasping reprieve. Color, blood enabled color, flooded his skin, the gift of oxygen flowing once more.

  My mouth, filled with bitter acid, formed the words, “Thank you, Mother.”

  From high above, brown eyes glanced at us, struggling to regain our feet. “I can take it away from either of you as easily.”

  “Shall we assume an acceptable size and share wine?” Hades’ tone was that of a suave entertainer, no genuine emotion, the consummate host.

  With a shrug, Gaia shrank, selecting a glass of red from the tray.

  “Welcome, Gigi, I’m glad you and your son are here,” Hades purred. “I don’t receive many guests, although I love to entertain.”

  “You’ll be at capacity once I’m finished,” Gaia rejoined.

  “About that,” Hades countered, gesturing to a sectional. “Shall we?”

  They settled, and I pulled Ballard toward the seating at the far end of the patio. I fished a Snickers from my waist sack and he munched, washing it down with a few sips of water.

  “What happened? How did you end up here?”

  “It was the damnedest thing,” Ballard said, arms wrapping tight around me as he brushed a chocolate flavored kiss across my lips. “At the ME’s office, the dead mer reanimated and grabbed me. Then I remember a bicycle before ending up here. I was sure I was dying. Where are we?”

  Guru impersonated the mer? Did he take the headshot or swap out the body later? How much power does he possess? The more I learn, the weirder this gets.

  “Welcome to the underworld, Hades’ patio to be specific. I’m trying to stop Gaia by reuniting her with Chaos, Tartarus, and Eros, and releasing her children.”

  “My mythology is rusty, but aren’t her kids monsters? This is your plan?”

  “My plan is to take away her pain.”

  “To be blunt, hobnobbing at the beach with a Cyclops isn’t a safe option for humans, Patra. It’s a buffet waiting to happen.”

  Even to me this idea felt crazy, with no guarantees that Gaia, reunited, intended to keep her children with her and not marauding over the planet. Over Ballard’s shoulder, Waldo smiled, beard strands picking up the pace.

  More pieces in motion. I pushed off the sofa, bent and kissed Ballard with everything I had.

  “I’m fixin’ to upend the norm.” A shrug met his steady green gaze, and I headed across the patio to Gaia and Hades.

  “Hades, I want to visit Tartarus. Could you arrange it?”

  A black eyebrow raised. “You. Want to join the void. Now.”

  “Yes, please.”

  “By yourself?”

  Behind him, Chelsea and Glenna shook their heads, hard.

  “Oh, we should all go. That way there’s no confusion later.”

  Waldo’s busy beard shot out straight, then started curling furiously again.

  Hmm. I just changed something.

  “Very well,” Hades rejoined. He flexed, and two more figures shimmered into view.

  My gut whipped, and I staggered. Nobody was dialing down today.

  “Poseidon, Zeus.” The tremor shaking my voice was unavoidable. They were too much.

  “The Keeper wishes to visit Tartarus. With all of us as witnesses.”

  Zeus cut eyes to me, and I fell to my knees, gasping.

  “Is that necessary?” Hades’ dramatic eye roll earned Poseidon’s laugh.

  “Very well,” muttered Zeus, dropping it a couple notches. “For now.”

  I expected we’d shimmer and reappear somewhere in hell, but Hades slid on metallic purple sunglasses and pairs appeared for each of us. My fingers closed around marbled grey and blue frames. Black aviators dropped on Ballard’s nose, Chelsea donned bright green, Glenna’s were orange cat eyes, and a pair of mirrored silver wrap-around frames landed in Parker’s hand. Poseidon’s, of course, were red, and Zeus sported gold with plenty of bling. Gaia and Guru’s were a cool tortoiseshell brown with flecks of green and aqua. W
aldo’s oversized white with blue iridized lenses looked rather Elton Johnesque.

  “Shall we?” Hades headed to the steps, and the group moved toward a path curving between solid twinkling walls that extended up into forever.

  “Is this covering supposed to be a wallpaper of embers?” Parker’s hand reached out, feeling for heat.

  “Not embers, Keeper,” Hades shrugged. “Souls. The lights are eternal.”

  Chapter 29

  Ballard’s arm felt good around my shoulders, and I tugged his earlobe to bend his head to my lips.

  “For this attempt to succeed, I have to risk us both.”

  He nodded. “I figured as much.”

  “Whatever happens, remember Gaia cannot enter Tartarus.”

  He cut his eyes to me over his glasses and pushed them back up his nose. Concealed skepticism worked for me.

  The soul lit passageway expanded and a plaza of sorts wrapped around a giant hole surrounded by a railing. An eerie wind whistled, which seemed to unsettle everyone, even Hades. As we spread out into little groups, Ballard, Glenna, Chelsea, Parker, and I clotted together. Head lowered, I leaned in toward the witches.