Unbroken Promises: a friends to lovers romance

by Nikki Ash

  “I promise.”

  “Xander.” Joanne’s voice brings me back to the present. “If Cole doesn’t get it together soon I’m leaving, and I’m taking Zoey with me. I don’t want to do this. I know Delilah would want Cole raising her, but not like this.”

  “Game five is this weekend. Can you please just stay until the championships are over. Hopefully we win this game, but if we don’t, I’ll just need a little more time.”

  “Of course,” Joanne says. “I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry.”

  “No, I’m glad you did, and as soon as I get everything wrapped up here, I’ll be there.”

  “And what are you going to do? He’s in a really bad way, Xander.”

  “I don’t know, but taking his daughter away can’t be the answer. Let me just get through this game and then I’ll figure something out.”

  We hang up, and I head out to practice. With already three wins on our side to Cleveland’s one, if we win this upcoming game, we’ll be the champions. The game is taking place on Saturday, and we’ve got homecourt advantage. My first year playing we made it to the playoffs but lost in the first round. Last year we won the championship in the seventh game. Not many players can say they not only got a championship ring their second year in the NBA but played in every damn game. As my rookie contract stipulates, Houston can offer me a player extension this coming year, which is something I really fucking want. I love playing for Houston. I love my teammates and my coach. Unfortunately, nothing is set in stone, and if I’m not offered an extension this summer, next summer I will go into free agency. I know I’ll be picked up. I’m one of the highest paid rookies in the industry right now, plus I was picked first and have already broken several rookie records on top of helping to win a championship. But what I want is to stay here in Houston. Maybe it’s knowing I’m only a few hours away from Cole, I don’t know.

  “X! What the hell is going on with you?” my teammate, Lance Williams, shouts at me during halftime. “Your body is clearly here.” He throws a towel at me. “But are you here?”

  I don’t even bother to respond, knowing he’s right. While I’m physically here, my head isn’t in the game at all. I’ve been racking my brain with what to do about Cole, and I’m stumped. I was up way too late last night, tossing and turning. I tried to call him a couple times when Joanne said he didn’t come home again, but he wouldn’t answer my calls. She said his boss called the house looking for him and mentioned they’re not renewing his teaching or coaching contract. He was supposed to go back to work the week Delilah died. He obviously didn’t, and now he’s out of a job. That’s all the more reason why I need to get my head in the game, because if I don’t, I’m going to lose my shot at renewing my contract, and no contract means no money, and I can’t do anything to help Cole without an income.

  “I’m sorry, you’re right,” I say, “I have a lot of shit going on, but I’m here. We got this. We’re only down by fifteen with an entire half to go. Let’s go get that fucking ring!” I yell, pumping myself up in an attempt to block everything but this game out.

  And for the next twenty-four minutes, that’s exactly what I do. We win the championship: 115-93. The confetti rains down on us, and hats and shirts are passed out. Reporters interview me and ask about my future, but I go through it all without any emotion. As I watch everyone cheer and hug each other, I’ve never felt so lost in my life. Every time I imagined being here, it was with Cole and Delilah watching in the stands, yet neither one of them have ever been to one of my professional games, and now Delilah never will. That thought has me needing to get the fuck out of here. Cole is all I have left, and I’m all he has. Delilah was right. I need to fight for him.

  I’m making my way off the court to shower so I can head to the aftergame conference when a reporter stops me and asks, “So what are your plans for offseason? Are you planning any trips?” And that’s when it hits me what I need to do.

  “Umm...yeah. I’m not sure where, though. Any recommendations?”

  She smiles and thinks for a moment. “Hmm...I would probably go to the beach, like to Florida or maybe Martha’s Vineyard. Oh! Or California. Sand, sun, and relaxation.”

  “Good choices. Maybe I’ll hit up one of those places.” I shoot her a wink and head back to the locker room.

  chapter thirty-nine

  Xander

  “He’s not here,” Joanne says with a frown when she opens the door to let me in. “And I don’t know where he is.” She rocks Zoey in her arms as she walks back inside, then lays her down in her portable bed thing. “He came home last night...or I should say this morning, took a shower and changed his clothes, and was back out the door before I could even confront or stop him. Not that it would do any good.” She sits down on the couch.

  “Alright, I’m going to see if I can find him. He was at that one bar the night I found him after the funeral. Can you do me a favor? I need you to pack a couple weeks’ worth of clothes for Zoey and Cole. Also, I’ve put a call into a nanny service that comes highly recommended by one of my teammates. There are three women willing to travel on short notice. They’re going to be here to interview. Can you please pick the one you think is best if I’m not back?” I check my watch. “They’re scheduled thirty minutes apart, and the first one should be here soon.”

  “I don’t understand. You want to leave with Zoey?” Joanne grimaces. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I want to take her away with Cole. He needs to get away from this condo and from this environment. He’s grieving over the loss of Delilah, and until he’s ready to be a dad again, I’m going to need help with Zoey. You said it yourself, you need to get back to your husband. So, hiring a nanny is the perfect solution.”

  “I know. It’s just that I’m going to miss this sweet girl,” Joanne says, looking over at Zoey.

  “We’re only going to be gone for a few weeks. I found a private rental on Martha’s Vineyard with a guest house. If you want to visit anytime, just let me know.”

  Joanne sighs then nods her head. “Okay. You go find Cole, and I’ll make sure to pick someone perfect for you.” Joanne stands up and gives me a hug. “Please take care of my granddaughter.”

  I pull up to the bar I found Cole at a few weeks ago and park. I walk inside, and the place is dark, especially for it only being three in the afternoon. I glance around and notice the windows are all blacked out. Some loud as fuck country music is playing, and there’s maybe a handful of people hanging out. I walk farther inside, past the pool tables, and head straight for the bar. If Cole isn’t here, I’m planning to ask the bartender what other bars are in the area.

  At first, I don’t spot anyone manning the bar. There’s one guy sitting on a stool nursing a beer, but other than him, I don’t see anyone else. Then out of the corner of my eye, I spot a couple practically fucking against the jukebox. The woman has her legs around the guy, and he’s dry humping her. Real classy...I’m about to turn around and head out since Cole clearly isn’t here, when the guy lifts his face from out of the woman’s neck. His glossy eyes lock with mine, and I freeze in my place as he drops her to the ground. Fucking Cole...

  “Real fucking nice!” I yell, pissed as hell, and if I’m honest, also jealous. “The mother of your daughter hasn’t even been dead for two months and you’ve already moved on?” I walk up to Cole, and even though it’s obvious he’s drunk, I push him backwards. “You’re here, sucking face with someone while your daughter is at home! What the fuck, man!” I push him one more time, and his back hits the wall.

  “Hey! You need to leave,” the woman yells, and when I look at her, I recognize her from the night I picked up Cole. She’s the bartender.

  “You need to go back behind the bar where you belong.” I point my finger in her face. “Now.” Then I turn my attention back to Cole. “Let’s go. It’s time to go home.”

  I turn my back on him and start walking toward the front entrance when he shouts, “Fuck you! You have no
idea what it’s like to live somewhere where the person you loved took her last breath.” I turn around and see tears running down his face. “I just want to fucking feel something, anything, that isn’t fucking pain.”

  I step towards him until I’m less than a foot away. “You have a daughter at home that needs you. You aren’t the only one who lost Delilah. You want to feel something? Go love that little girl who will never know her mother! You’re searching for the wrong goddamned feelings. And you know what? You’re going to lose your daughter if you keep this shit up.”

  “I can’t go back there. I can’t sleep where she slept. I can’t make coffee where she made her last cup.” Cole drops to the ground in defeat. “Every time I’m there all I can see is her lifeless body in my arms. I thought she was napping. I thought she fell asleep. She wasn’t sleeping. She was fucking dead.” He drops his head into his hands, and my heart breaks for my best friend. He’s right, I have no idea what he’s going through, but I’m going to get him through this.

  I kneel down in front of him and lift his chin with my thumb and forefinger. He looks at me for a brief moment before he closes his eyes and shakes his head, several more tears racing down his cheeks. “Hey,” I say to get his attention, and he opens his eyes back up. “We’re going to get through this. I promise.” I stand and extend my hand, and Cole takes it, rising up onto his feet. “Let’s go.”

  Wordlessly, he follows me out of the bar and to my car, neither of us saying anything the entire drive to the condo. When we arrive, I tell him to stay in the car and I’ll be back in a few minutes. I go upstairs and find Joanne and an elderly woman conversing on the couch. When Joanne makes eye contact, she nods and stands. The woman stands as well, and they both walk toward me.

  “Xander, this is Mallory Arno; Mallory, this is Xander Thompson. He’s the one who is in need of your services.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Mallory says.

  “Likewise,” I say to her and shake her hand. “Joanne, can I speak to you for a minute in the kitchen?”

  “Sure.” She follows me into the kitchen.

  “Did you meet with all three women?” I ask.

  “I actually only met with two. But I love this woman. I called the number you gave me and told them to cancel the last interview. Mallory is great. She is a grandmother and usually watches her grandkids for her daughter and son-in-law, but they are out of the country on business for a year, so she’s been nannying to keep busy. She’s a retired nurse, so she’s more than capable of caring for Zoey, and as you know, she’s willing to travel.”

  “Thank you.” I give Joanne a hug. “I found Cole, and he’s downstairs. He can’t come up here. I’m going to bring him and Zoey to my hotel tonight, and we’re flying out in the morning.”

  “Please video chat and send me pictures.”

  “Of course.” I’m about to head back into the living room when Joanne says my name.

  “Delilah left letters for you and Cole. I’m allowed to give you yours now, but I can’t give Cole his yet.”

  I turn around, stunned. “She knew she was going to die?”

  “Oh no! She didn’t know, sweetheart, but when she started her treatment, she wrote them just in case. She actually wrote one for both of you every time she went through chemo.” Tears pool her eyes. “And then when she was told she was one year in remission, she would take them back from me. Did you know to be considered officially in remission, you have to be cancer free for five years?”

  I shake my head. I didn’t know that.

  “She never once made it five years. Since she turned eleven years old and was diagnosed, my little girl never went more than four years without having cancer. She was just so tired, Xander.”

  “I know she was.”

  “Here’s your letter.” She pulls a light pink envelope out of her purse and hands it to me. “She loved you boys so much.”

  I take the envelope from her, and even though it’s only paper, it feels like a hundred pound weight in my hand. “What determined you being allowed to give me this?” I ask curiously, since she said she’s not allowed to give Cole his yet.

  “She said that if she died, Cole would need you, and the day you showed up to be there for him, to give it to you. And she asked that you please not tell Cole until he gets his letter.”

  “When are you allowed to give Cole his?”

  “Oh, you know I can’t tell you that.” She winks and wipes her tears.

  We head back into the living room, and I let Mallory know that she’s been hired and we’ll pick her up to leave tomorrow morning. We’re going to be on the beach, and since she’ll have plenty of time off to do as she wants, she should bring a bathing suit or whatever it is she needs for warm beach weather. After she thanks me and leaves, Joanne helps me get Zoey ready and walks downstairs with me. I throw Zoey’s stroller into the trunk along with their two suitcases. Joanne shows me how to buckle Zoey’s car seat into the car while Cole sits in the front seat, not saying a word. He’s either passed out or too embarrassed to say anything. Joanne gives Zoey a kiss goodbye and makes me promise for a second time to send daily pictures and video chat often. And then we’re on our way. Cole stays quiet the entire drive, but opens his eyes once we pull into the hotel parking garage, which tells me he wasn’t really asleep.

  “We’re only staying here for tonight, but you’ll need your luggage to change your clothes. How drunk are you? Can you carry the luggage, or do I need to get someone to help?”

  Cole eyes me, warily. “Where are we going tomorrow?”

  “Away. Now, can you help with the luggage or not?”

  “Yeah,” is all he says before he gets out of the car. While he grabs the bags, I grab Zoey. She’s sleeping like a little angel, but I imagine it won’t last for long. I probably should’ve asked Mallory to start tonight, but she needed to go home and pack.

  We take the elevator up to my room and once we’re up there, Cole heads right for the shower while I stay in the main room, watching Zoey sleep and praying I’m not in over my head here. When I stand to get a drink, I feel the crinkle of the letter Joanne gave me. Hoping Delilah will have some final words of encouragement for me, I bring Zoey—still sleeping in her car seat—outside with me on the balcony, so I can read Delilah’s letter.

  Xander,

  If you’re reading this letter, my luck ran out and I’m no longer with you guys (but I’ll always be with you in spirit). It also means Cole needs you, and you’ve come home to be there for him. I’ve had cancer three times, and every time I’ve written you and Cole a letter, but this time it feels so different. Maybe it’s because as I write this letter I’m sitting next to my sleeping newborn daughter, or maybe it’s because unlike the other two times when I would classify you, Cole, and me as best friends, this time I know better. You and me, we’re best friends. Cole and me, we’re best friends (don’t let the baby fool you). But you and Cole, you two are destined to be so much more than best friends. The fact that you’re reading this tells me you haven’t given up on him, and that makes me so happy.

  If I know Cole like I think I do, he’s probably feeling lost right now. He’s probably sunk into depression and is regretting every decision that led up to the moment of my death. Please don’t let him do that because I don’t regret a single day of my life with you two. For one thing, it gave me Zoey, and I could never regret anything that led me to be a mother to my precious little girl. My only regret is that I didn’t break my promise to you. The one where I agreed not to talk to Cole about you. But that’s okay, because I would like to think everything happens for a reason. As much as we would like to be in control of our lives and futures, sometimes we can’t be. Sometimes we just have to sit back and hold on tight while we see where life takes us. I know it sounds cliché, but I think you needed to leave so Cole could realize how much he loves you, and don’t for a second think he doesn’t. He loves you, and he needs you.

  I don’t know how old Zoey is right now, but I know she
needs you as well. Remember when I asked you to be her Godfather? Well, now I’m asking you to be her father alongside Cole, which means you need to fight. Fight for Cole. Fight for your best friend, the man you love. Fight for your happily-ever-after. And I know what you’re thinking: how do you fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for? Well, he does. You just have to make him see that. Show him that loving you would make his mom just as proud as if he was with a woman, because as a new mother, I can tell you, the only thing we want for our children is for them to be happy. And not that you need it, but please know that you both have my blessing.

  Life is too short to not be with the person you love. I was lucky. I loved two men in my life, and I got to be with both of them. My life might have been short-lived, but it was filled with so much love. Thank you for being part of the reason I felt loved and cherished every day of my life.

  Please give my daughter a kiss for me and tell her I love her. Tell her I’m looking down and watching over her, and that there isn’t a moment that goes by that I’m not wishing I was still there with her. Please make sure she spends plenty of time outside under the starry sky. Teach her how important it is to wish upon the shooting stars. Every child should have hopes and dreams, and I hate that I’m not going to be there to watch hers come true. Please, Xander, make sure every one of my daughter’s hopes and dreams come true.

  Until we meet again.

  All my love,

  Delilah

  “Oh, sweet girl, I can promise you your daughter will know all about her amazing mother.” I fold the letter up, stuff it back into the envelope, then stand and push it down into my back pocket. As I turn around to bring Zoey back inside, I see Cole standing in the doorway, his face devoid of all emotion.

  “Was that...” He nods toward my back pocket. “Was that a letter from Delilah?” I promised Joanne I wouldn’t tell Cole, but right now I can’t bring myself to lie to him.