by Nikki Ash
“Go out where?” he asks.
“I found a cool wing place. I thought we could go out for some wings and catch the Astros/Rangers game.”
“All right, deal, but don’t think for a fucking second just because I’m moving to Houston that I’m going to turn my back on my Rangers. It figures you would end up in Houston. You were always a traitor, liking them over the Rangers.”
“They’re both in Texas!” I laugh. This has been an ongoing argument between us since we were kids.
“Rangers are in Arlington! You like the team near you! Everybody knows that.” Cole huffs, shaking his head.
“So, does that mean you’re sticking with Dallas instead of rooting for the team I play on?”
“I can’t help you got drafted to Houston. I’m staying loyal to my teams, even if I’m moving to Houston.”
“Whatever.” I laugh. “Remember that when you want to use one of my friends and family tickets to come to a game. You ready to race so I can beat you?” I swim toward the wall.
“Yeah, okay.” Cole chuckles. “I’ll take it easy on you. One time, there and back.”
We line up, and when Cole counts to three, we take off. We’re head-to-head the entire way there, and I see when Cole hits the wall under the water at the same time as me and heads back. I push myself harder, determined to beat him. I focus on getting there first, and when I hit the wall and come up for air, I see him come up at nearly the same time.
“I won!” I yell.
“No fucking way!” he yells back. “If anything, it was a tie!”
“Says the guy who lost! Everyone knows the loser cries tie!” I laugh, shaking my head, and before I can say another word, Cole cuts across the pool and jumps onto my shoulders, pushing me under the water.
Mother fucking sore loser!
Grabbing his thighs, I pull him under the water with me, and he has no choice but to let go of me. We both come up for air, and before he can tackle me again, I shove him under the water. I feel him trying to grab a hold of me, and then his hand glides across my dick. I jump back in shock, and he comes up for air.
“Shit,” he hisses. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to...”
“Xander, Cole,” Mallory calls out, and we both turn toward her. “Zoey has a slight fever. It’s probably from teething, but I’m going to need someone to pick up Tylenol to bring it down.”
“I got it,” I yell a little too loud, swimming to the edge of the pool and jumping out. “I’ll be back,” I say without looking back.
I go to the store, grab some baby pain reliever then head back. I try not to think about Cole’s hand touching my dick, but I can’t help it. It was accidental, I know that, but fuck if my body didn’t get the message. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to do this. How I’m going to live with Cole while wanting him, especially knowing he wants me as well, and the only thing preventing him from taking action is some promise he made to his mom when he was a fucking kid. I think back to the letter Delilah wrote me.
Fight for Cole. Fight for your best friend, the man you love. Show him that loving you would make his mom just as proud as if he was with a woman...
And that’s exactly what I need to do. Fuck accepting we’re just friends. He said it himself. He has feelings for me that he doesn’t know what to do with. I have a piece of his heart. Sure, there’s a chance Cole will push me away again, but I owe it to Delilah and to myself to fight for Cole...for us.
chapter forty-four
Cole
“Go! Zoey is asleep, and her fever is down. I’ll be here watching her, and if I need you, I’ll call. Neither of you have even experienced any of this beautiful island,” Mallory says. When Xander and I don’t make any move to leave, she adds, “I’ve seen more of this place than you two.”
“She’s right,” I point out. “I wasted two weeks of our time here. It’s only eight o’clock. We can still catch a few innings of the game.”
“Alright, fine,” Xander agrees. “I’ve really been wanting to try the wings there, and I bet they’ll taste even better since you’ll be picking up the bill.” He winks, and I bark out a laugh.
“It was a fucking tie!”
“Negative.” Xander grabs the keys. “We’ll be back in a couple of hours. Text me if you need anything while we’re out.”
“Will do. Have fun, boys.” Mallory smiles and waves before she goes back to reading her book.
“Hell yes!” Xander pumps his fist in the air. “Free wings, and my team is kicking your team’s ass.” He takes a bite of his food, and after he swallows, he licks the sauce off his lips, and suddenly I’m imagining him using his tongue and lips to do other things. Things I shouldn’t be imagining. “It doesn’t get much better than this.” He grins my way, and my stomach clenches. How the fuck am I supposed to live with this man? I can’t even have a meal with him without having sexual thoughts. I’m supposed to be mourning the loss of Delilah, yet I’m fantasizing about Xander. Jesus, I’m all kinds of fucked up.
“You okay?” Xander asks. “You’ve barely touched your food.” He nods toward my half eaten wings.
“Yeah, they’re good.” I take a bite and smile. We continue to watch the game, but the entire time my thoughts are on Xander. What it would be like to be with him again. The truth is I don’t really know what it’s like to be with him in the first place. Sure, he gave me head a few years ago, but other than that, our focus was always on Delilah. What if we got together and Xander realized I’m not what he wants? That would fuck up our friendship, and then where would that leave us? But what if he’s the one? What if I’m wasting all this time pushing him away when we could be together? Maybe if we figure out what we are to each other before we go back to Houston then we’ll know where we stand, and we won’t be dancing around each other. Fuck, this is so hard.
“You ready to go?” Xander asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah.” I go to grab the bill, but when I look, I see that he’s already paid it. “I was supposed to pay.”
“It was a tie, remember?” Xander winks and laughs. “You seemed a little preoccupied when she brought the bill. You can buy next time.”
We drive back to the house, but when we pull up, I’m not ready to say goodnight to Xander yet. “Want to go for a walk?” I suggest.
“Sure,” he agrees. We get out, and Xander looks around. “Want to walk around back?”
I nod in agreement, and we walk around the side of the house, making our way to the back where the pool is. The area is completely black until Xander flips a switch and the pool light comes on, illuminating the water.
“I’m going to miss this place,” Xander says, walking over to the pool. “It’s so quiet here...and calm. I forgot what it’s like.” He takes his shoes and socks off then sits down on the edge, and I do the same.
“Has it been crazy being in the NBA?”
“Yes and no. During the season, traveling can get hectic, but Ciara makes sure not to schedule me too many things. She’s been working on rescheduling everything I had planned for the offseason. I kind of sprung this trip on her.” Xander laughs. “She hates the unknown.”
“Ciara’s your publicist, right?” I ask, remembering that he mentioned her at the beach the other night.
“Yeah, but she’s also my assistant. I have to do certain interviews and photoshoots, and she keeps it all together for me. She’s fucking awesome. Some days I swear she schedules when I can take a leak.” Xander shakes his head. “Because I don’t date or anything, I’m not really videoed much, which is nice. She says I make her job easy because she doesn’t have to do too much damage control.”
I laugh. “Are you serious? You’re videoed all the time! I could tell you where you are and what you’re doing more days than not.”
“What?” Xander looks over at me, confused. “You’ve been watching my career?”
I pull out my phone and pull up the fan site dedicated to him. “We might’ve went three years without talking, but that doesn’t mean I’m
not proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” I hand him my phone, and he starts scrolling through the newsfeed.
“Holy shit! I had no clue. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” He scrolls down to the bottom. “Well, I guess leaving last minute without telling anyone where we were going was a good idea. The pictures and videos stopped after the championship.”
He hands me back my phone. “So you were keeping tabs on me, huh?” Xander smirks, and I groan.
“Shut up.”
“Stalking me...”
“Shut. Up.”
“You’re probably the president of the Xander Thompson Fan Club.”
“You’re going to get pushed into this pool.”
“Maybe you should just admit the truth now and save me the trouble of having to show you what we both already know.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, turning my head to look at Xander. His gaze locks with mine, all the playfulness gone. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and I know what’s about to happen. I can see it in his eyes. He’s about to kiss me. I should say something. Back up or stop him. But I don’t. I can’t. This is what I wanted, right? To see what could be between us before we head to Houston.
My heart picks up speed as I sit here, frozen in place, as Xander leans over and presses his mouth to mine. He waits a beat to see if I’m going to push him away, and when I don’t, he edges closer. His tongue presses against my lips, and I open them for him, allowing him access. Xander’s fingers find my hair, and he pulls me closer, our kiss deepening. My tongue joins his as we explore each other’s mouths. Kissing Xander isn’t sweet or soft like it was with Delilah. It’s rough and demanding. His lips are harder and stronger. His teeth nip my bottom lip, and I let out a groan, wanting more, but before I can figure out what more is, Xander ends the kiss.
“The truth is you want me,” he says with a shrug, answering my earlier question, the playfulness back in his voice. Cocky motherfucker.
Pressing my hands onto the pool deck, I pretend like I’m going to stand, and just like I knew Xander would do, he starts to stand as well. I wait until I know he’s slightly off balanced and then, with a good shove, I push his ass into the pool, just like he did to me on the dock. Only, he must see it coming because he reaches out and grabs hold of my shirt, pulling me into the water with him.
“Nice try, asshole!” He laughs. “Maybe you need to watch some more of my game footage. I have the reflexes of a cheetah.”
I chuckle at how full of himself he is. “I don’t even know how we’re fitting in this pool together...” I cup my hands and splash water at him. “What with your ego taking up so much of the space.”
“Ha! You got jokes.” He nods his head, then swims toward me. Out of instinct I back up, only I don’t realize the direction I’m going in is a dead end. My back hits the sidewall, and Xander cages me in, his hands gripping the edge of the pool on either side of me.
“In all seriousness,” he murmurs, his mouth so close to mine that all it would take is one of us leaning in just a hair and our mouths would be touching. “That kiss was not a one-time thing. I’m willing to take things slow because I know you need some time to make peace with Delilah’s death, but I’m not letting this go. You kissing me back told me what I needed to know. You want to see where things go just as much as I do, regardless of what your mom wished for you.”
His eyes dart to my mouth, and he bites down on his bottom lip like he’s trying to stop himself from kissing me again. I’m not sure what comes over me, but I lean in, and using my teeth, I tug on his bottom lip until it’s pulled out from his teeth. Then I suck on it for a few seconds, savoring the taste that is all Xander before I release it.
“You’re right, I do want to see where things go, regardless of what my mom said, but I have two conditions.”
His eyes widen in shock. “Okay.”
“One, we don’t tell anybody. This stays between us.”
Xander’s brows furrow. “Just until we figure out where we stand,” I add.
“And two?” he asks.
“If it doesn’t work out, we stay friends this time. Neither of us running.”
He bites down on his bottom lip again in contemplation, and I have to force myself to leave him alone. “Okay,” he finally says, “I’ll agree to your conditions.”
chapter forty-five
Xander
“Are you sure you’re ready to go back? I can go sign the contract, go to that charity crap, and come right back,” I tell Cole.
“I’m sure. We’ve been here for three weeks, and as much as I’d love to stay here forever, there’s a lot we have to do, like moving all our shit to your place. Fuck! And I’m going to need to go through Delilah’s stuff. I also need to meet with Joanne because my apology to her can’t be given over the phone, and I’d like to start looking for a new job.”
Listening to Cole talk has me grinning on the inside. The last week has been like hanging out with my best friend again. Aside from our kiss by the pool, I haven’t pushed him towards anything sexual. I meant what I said about taking things slow. Cole is still grieving for Delilah, and I don’t want to rush anything. But hearing him talk about moving in with me and looking for a job gives me hope that we’re moving in the right direction and he meant what he said about wanting to see where things go between us.
“You don’t have to do any of that alone. I can hire someone to move all of your stuff. We’ll ask Joanne to come over, and we’ll go through Delilah’s things, figuring out what each of us wants to keep or give to charity. You can apologize when she comes over, but she knows you, Cole, and she knows you weren’t in your right mind. I’ve been sending her pictures of Zoey every day, and we’ve video chatted a few times. As far as you getting a job, I think that’s awesome, but just know if you want to take the year off or however long, that’s okay as well.”
He gives me a look of appreciation. “Thanks, man. I’m going to finish packing.”
“No rush, the flight doesn’t leave for a few hours.”
It’s a long ass day, and we don’t arrive in Dallas until almost midnight. Zoey is cranky, and we’re all exhausted. We drop Mallory off at her house and thank her for everything, then we check into a hotel. Cole mentions he’s okay with staying at the condo to save money, but it’s not happening. He’s come too far to slide back now. We get situated, and Zoey is out like the little angel she is in a matter of seconds, her body sprawled out in her portable crib like a tiny starfish. Cole excuses himself to go unpack and take a shower in his room, and I do the same.
After I’ve rinsed off the filth from traveling, I throw on a pair of boxers and t-shirt and head out to the kitchen to grab a drink. I’m looking down at my phone and checking my emails, so I don’t see Cole. When I bump into him, my phone hits the ground, but I don’t bother to look at it, because standing in the kitchen is Cole in nothing but a pair of briefs.
“Shit, sorry,” I choke out, even though I’m not the slightest bit sorry. He’s leaning against the counter with a bottle of water in his hand, apparently having had the same idea as me. Starting at his face, my eyes rake down his fit body, eyeing the tattoos he has covering his chest, over his six pack of abs, and ending at the dark patch of hair that trails down, disappearing under his briefs. When I look a little farther, I can see the outline of his dick. It’s not hard, but it’s not soft either.
Closing the distance between us, my hand comes around and clasps the back of Cole’s neck, pulling his face into mine. Our lips crash against each other, and he moans into my mouth. Our tongues both dart out and meet, dueling with each other. My hand finds its way down the front of his briefs as we continue to kiss. He lets out a low groan into my mouth as my thumb brushes across his engorged head, the sticky feeling of precum dripping from the tip. I glide my fingers down the underside of his smooth shaft and wrap my fist around his cock. Cole breaks our kiss, his head going back in pleasure, his eyes remaining shut. I can see his chest heaving as I begin to stroke him
slowly under his briefs.
When he’s so hard, there’s no room left, I push his briefs down, and his dick springs free. It reminds me of the last time we were together like this. The one and only time I had my mouth wrapped around his hard cock. Just the thought has my mouth watering. Not able to take it any longer, I kneel down and wrap my lips around the crown of his cock, my tongue swirling around the tip. The salty taste of precum tells me Cole is turned on by my touch. His entire body stiffens, and I worry he’s going to stop me—this definitely wasn’t what I had in mind by taking shit slow. But when I feel his fingers entwine in my hair, I breathe a sigh of relief. With one hand stroking the bottom of his shaft, I take him all the way down my throat until my lips meet my fist.
“Fuck!” he groans, which spurs me on. Moving my hand out of the way, I take him all the way into my mouth until the tip of his cock hits the back of my throat. My mouth fucks him while my hand massages his ball sac. His moans have me hard as steel, but I focus on him. Making him feel good. I’ve dreamt of this for years. Cole letting me be the one to give him pleasure. I wondered if when the day came, if I would be let down. Did I just dream of how much I wanted him? Was the one time I sucked him off a fluke and all these years I’ve built the experience up to mean more than it really did? But right now as he thrusts his hips and fucks my mouth, I know my feelings weren’t just in my head. I want this man. I want his mind, his body, and more than anything, I want his fucking heart.
“Xander,” he groans, and my dick twitches at my name being released from his lips. “I’m going to come.” It’s a warning, but one I don’t heed. I need to taste him, all of him. He lets go, and the saltiness hits my tongue as I swallow every drop of him until his cock grows soft in my mouth. His hips still, and I back up slightly. I look up at Cole and hate the look I see. Lust. Confusion. Regret.
“I need to go.” He pulls his briefs up while I stand.
“Wait! Don’t do this,” I beg. “Talk to me.”
