Daniel leaned close. “She can’t possibly be more beautiful than you.”
“You surely don’t honestly believe I’m beautiful?” Anna blinked in astonishment.
“Poppycock, you are beautiful. You’re a kind, good person and I find you very appealing.” Daniel reached for Anna’s hand. “I know this might seem fast, but I’m in love with you.”
Tears flooded Anna’s eyes. “And I love you.”
* * *
Outside they held the closed umbrella between them. The rain had ceased. Daniel took her hand and led Anna to St. Augustine’s. The church was nearby on a quiet side street. Anna inhaled the fresh scent of grass and trees after a rain.
They ambled along the strategically placed paving stones to the back of the church. It was a tranquil setting, with tall trees and flowering shrubs, still shrouded in that peculiar soft, darkness that comes after a rain.
Anna glanced at the man beside her, he seemed anxious about something. Perhaps he was regretting his recent declaration of love. She shook her head and looked up at him when he halted beneath a chestnut tree.
He took her into his arms. She was careful to not further damage his shoulder. “I know it’s too soon, but I feel as if I’ve known you all my life. Will you please be my wife?”
Anna gazed into hazel eyes and saw nothing save love. Yet she hesitated. If she married Daniel she might never again walk England’s quaint streets or smell fish and chips wrapped in newspaper; and her family. How’d she miss her family!
However, living without Daniel would be unbearable. There would be challenges ahead, but with Daniel, she would meet them.
Anna trembled as she smiled up at him. She leaned close and kissed him gently on the lips. “Yes, I will marry you.”
Chapter 4
November 4, 1944 dawned stormy with harsh wind and rain. In spite of the weather Anna glowed with joy. Today was her wedding day.
Patsy, maid-of-honour, helped Anna get ready. Patsy looked more ready for a dance club than a wedding in her clinging scarlet dress and black high-heeded shoes. Her long, blonde hair was combed over one eye like Veronica Lake. She looked like a trollop, but Anna loved her sister too much to criticize.
Anna decorated the living room earlier with blue plastic flowers and blue streamers in preparation for the reception. She’d painted a picture of a heart enclosing a couple dancing. It was too cutesy to constitute real art, but Daniel claimed to love it.
Anna sighed with happiness. Even the rain made her smile. She felt safe and warm because she was sheltered within the arms of her family. How could she leave them in a few short months?
The sight of her wedding dress banished any negative thoughts. It was beautiful; a long sheath of white satin with tiny rosettes along the high neckline and long sleeves. Generous Aunt Sophie had loaned it to Anna for her special day. It fit like it was made for her. The hem had been turned down at least two inches to accommodate Anna’s longer, leaner frame.
Patsy squirted perfume on Anna’s neck. Anna inhaled the marvelous scent, Cinderella, under the care of her fairy godmother.
Patsy spoke through a mouthful of bobby pins as she reached to attach the veil in Anna’s hair. “I hope this stays anchored in your fine hair. I wouldn’t want you losing your veil when Daniel kisses you. And how about giving some of that perfume to your maid-of-honour?”
Anna passed the perfume to Patsy. “Do your best, big sis. Do your best.”
Patsy stepped onto a low stool and placed the veil’s luxurious folds over Anna’s shoulders. Then she examined her handiwork. “You look marvelous. I’m sure Daniel will want to rip this creation right off you.”
Anna gazed with satisfaction at her reflection in the mirror. “He best not. I’m sure Aunt Sophie wants this beautiful dress for her daughters. She was an angel to lend it to me.” The dress, her decorations, and much more were the culmination of much planning and preparation.
Daniel had carefully saved the two hundred dollars required before a soldier could marry an English woman. They had both been interviewed by Daniel’s commanding officer, Colonel Darling (who was anything but). Staring fiercely at them through his wire-rim glasses and smoking a cigar, the Colonel bluntly asked if they had to get married. Anna had turned bright red as Daniel assured him that wasn’t the case.
She’d felt like a spy facing interrogation as the man asked her what she knew of Canada. Daniel and Anna read the library book on Canada together, just as they’d planned. However, Anna remained largely ignorant of her future home. Nonetheless, the Colonel nodded his head as she spoke. Her response must have been satisfactory.
Daniel had also filled out Form 1000/110 to prove he could afford to support her when he left the forces, which would be soon. She was also subjected to a blood test and a medical examination. The latter left a nude Anna uncomfortable and embarrassed.
* * *
Anna knew all the preparation had been worth it now her wedding day was here.
Patsy winked with the eye that wasn’t covered by hair. “Mom says Daniel is attractive, so that must mean he’s gorgeous, and I say, great. But, you don’t need to marry him. Why don’t you just fool around? Then you could stay in England?”
Anna understood her sister’s point. She did want to sleep with Daniel. Go to bed with him and all that entailed. However, she also wanted love. ”I’m delighted Daniel wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I want our lives entwined forever, not just a slap and tickle.” She clasped her hands tight together.
Patsy stepped back from Anna and regarded her with satisfaction. She opened the bedroom door and called to their mother. ”Anna looks beautiful. Come and see.”
Margaret ignored whatever tasks she was engaged with and entered the room within seconds. She carried the family bible. Anna would carry it in place of a bridal bouquet because of a dearth of flowers in war ravaged London in November. After the ceremony, the large, white, leather-bound bible would be returned to her mother. It contained birth and death information for the whole family.
Margaret gasped and placed a hand over her heart. “You look gorgeous, just gorgeous, an angel escaped from heaven. I think you were right about keeping your hair down. But you need some makeup. I’ll go find my lipstick. I remember it makes your whole face glow. Let it be my wedding gift.”
Margaret returned with the lipstick, and gave her daughter a big hug. Then, finally, she released Anna. “I’m trying not to be selfish, but you’ll be missed. I think maybe Daniel will make you happy, yet this is hard, so damned hard.”
It was the first time she’d ever heard her mother swear. Margaret put her face in her hands to hide the tears Anna knew were silently falling.
Tears formed in Anna’s eyes and her voice held a plaintive tone. “Mum, I’ll miss you, too. You’ll never know how much. I love Daniel and I want to be a wife and mother, so like Ruth in the Bible, where my husband goes so do I.”
Margaret went out the door, still covering her eyes, too overcome with emotion to speak.
Patsy’s angry sneer removed all the prettiness from her face and took Anna by surprise. “So Anna is marrying a Canadian and hurting Mum and Dad in the process. Welcome to the club of people who disappoint their parents. How does it feel?”
Anna bit her lip, trying to ignore the bitterness in her sister’s voice. Patsy was prone to sudden mood swings and Anna knew she should have anticipated the jealousy. “Horrible, but also good. I have to look after my needs. And Mum said she thinks Daniel will make me happy. That’s good. In her own way, she’s giving her blessings.”
“Yes, I suppose.” Patsy sounded noncommittal and dismissive.
* * *
Margaret was just about to awaken Michael from a quick nap, (fathers of the bride being integral to the ceremony); when she was distracted by a loud, urgent knock at the door. Margaret, eyes still tear stained, rushed to answer it. “Now who can that be…Don’t worry I’ll get rid of them as quickly as possible. Imagine bothering us on your we
dding day.” She moved rapidly, and in the process her carefully coiffed hair lost some of its splendour.
Anna and Patsy, who came into the room to investigate, peered around their mother. A pompous-looking postman, literally too big for his uniform, filled the entryway holding out a letter.
“I have a special delivery letter for a Miss Anna Marshall? Which one of you would that be?” He spoke in a loud, pretentious voice.
Anna glided past her mother and held out her hand. “That’s me.” Anna placed her other hand over her busting heart. Dear God. Let Daniel be alright.
The red-haired postman eyed her attire. “I see you’re getting married today. I hope this isn’t news from across the channel. It would be a shame to ruin your special day.”
Anna doubted he cared; more likely he was a gossip. “Thank you,” Anna took the note and closed the door with a thud in the postman’s face
She examined the letter. The return address said only, Mr. Charles Harding. The creep! Could she never be rid of him? At least he hadn’t come in person.
Probably the letter contained some prattle about her marrying a hick farmer. Nonetheless, her hands shook. “I’m going to go into the bedroom and read this in privacy. I hope you understand. It’s from Charles.” Anna mustered as much authority as possible.
Both women nodded, their eyes were wide with curiosity. Neither spoke. Anna blushed with embarrassment.
Anna tore at the flimsy envelope as soon as she was alone. She tore open the envelope and yanked the letter out, it was written on soft, delicate paper, light as eiderdown.
My Beloved
I write you this letter because I beseech you not to marry the Canadian soldier. He does not know English ways and he will make your life miserable. I, on the other hand, am the man for you.
Your rejection is impossible for me to bear, so impossible that I am considering taking my life. There is rat poison in my home. I can and will take it if you continue to reject me. I do not want to live if I cannot have you by my side.
You see, my mother rejected me when she ran away from her family. I was only seven years old. I do not know where she is. I re-live this loss daily.
Please don’t tell anyone our dirty secret. It is for my father and I, and now you, to share.
My life is in your hands.
Charles
Anna wrapped her arms around her waist and went cold with shock. The letter drifted to the floor from her nerveless fingers.
Like everyone else, Anna believed Mrs. Harding was dead. For years she had pitied poor motherless Charles. Ronald Harding was widely praised for being both mother and father to his son.
This provided an explanation for Charles’ persistence in his pursuit of her. It also proved she’d been right to reject him. Not only did Charles not love her, he wanted a mother substitute and used the threat of suicide to incite guilt. She would, of course, keep Charles’ secret. But what should she do about her miserable situation? Would Charles really kill himself?
Anna sat down on her bed and proceeded to wring her hands. She hated Charles. Hated more than she’d ever hated anyone before. Nonetheless, if Charles really took the rat poison, she would be as good as a murderer. Anna cringed at the thought of Charles dying a tormented death.
She rose from the bed and gazed out the window. She moved quickly with soft footsteps. Outside a dark sky with rain falling in torrents and few people hurrying on the street met her gaze. It even appeared a good day for suicide, as well as a wedding.
She closed her eyes, clasped her hands together and rested them on the thickly painted windowsill. She bowed her head because she couldn’t kneel in her wedding dress. Please God. Show me what to do. Even in the rubble she hadn’t prayed so fervently.
Anna opened her eyes, lifted her head and saw the sky had cleared somewhat. Now a lighter, friendlier rain fell. Her face lit from within when she glimpsed the hint of a rainbow. She had given her problem to a higher power who controlled everything. God had provided her with the answer. Her worry lessened.
Anna curled a strand of hair with her finger, a habitual action when thinking. Charles had a choice. He could find help, possibly from a minister, or he could continue to writhe in agony. She didn’t care which. She strove to be kind to others, but she couldn’t live for them. She would marry Daniel. She was not responsible for Charles’ happiness.
Anna left the window and retrieved the letter. Without re-reading it, she tore it into tiny pieces and threw them into the blue velvet jewel box she’d had since a child. Later, she would throw these pieces into the trash, and when she did so, she would be metaphorically throwing Charles out of her life forever.
Anna, her shoulders straight, exited her bedroom. She moved with purpose. Margaret beamed.
“Are you going to call off the wedding and marry Charles? You can, you know.” Her mother obviously believed Charles had offered some last minute incentive so Anna would change her mind about him.
Patsy said nothing, but practically quivered with curiosity. If Charles committed suicide, Patsy and Margaret might guess at the contents of the letter. What if he left an incriminating suicide note? Margaret would blame her and so would her father. Damn. Yet her decision came from God. The only decision, the right decision.
“No, no, I’m not calling off the wedding. Charles is a manipulative schemer. I won’t fall into his arms, no matter what he says and does. I am entitled to happiness and I will have it with Daniel.” She stamped her foot for emphasis.
* * *
The wedding party made the short, albeit damp walk, (the letup of rain only temporary), to the St. Andrews Anglican Church. It was the same church where Anna had been baptized and confirmed, and where she had gone to Sunday school to learn bible stories.
She would be married by Canon George Mathison, a tall, thin man with a shock of white hair and piercing blue eyes. Anna had always liked and respected him. He told Anna how much he would miss her, but nonetheless wished her happiness with her Canadian soldier.
Anna and Michael, huddled under their umbrellas, walked slowly because of Michael’s limp. Anna held up her dress so it wouldn’t be dragged through the mud. Margaret and Patsy followed. They also moved slowly. Anna was the only one in the family who enjoyed walking.
When they passed Charles’ home, Anna peeked out from under her umbrella. Charles stood on the stoop with his head bowed. He was unprotected from the elements and the rain ruined his wool suit and hat. Puddles of water surrounded his feet.
Anna groaned. The guilt reared its head. Then she mentally counted the reasons why she couldn’t let the guilt rule her. She didn’t love him and he didn’t love her. A marriage needed admiration and a sharing of values. It should not be based on pity.
Her head held high, Anna carried on her way without acknowledging Charles.
* * *
Despite their slow pace, the wedding party arrived at the church right on time. They attempted to dry themselves off, albeit unsuccessfully, in the reception room. Patsy peeked into the nave. Many guests were seated and Daniel and his groomsman, Reg, stood in front of the altar. Margaret was seated by Anna’s cousin, Tom, who acted as usher. Patsy positioned herself in front of Anna and Michael.
Anna linked her arm through her father’s in preparation for the wedding march. The long, red-carpeted aisle stretched forward.
Michael turned to Anna. “I will miss you more than I’ve ever missed anyone or anything. But I can see Daniel is a fine man, finer than Charles.”
My God, was her hearing going? Dad was actually saying something nice about Daniel. Would wonders never cease?
Michael’s eyes filled with tears. The scene played almost exactly like that with her mother.
However, Anna responded differently. She was scared and it had nothing to do with Charles. In a few short months she’d be leaving everything she knew to journey to a foreign country. She quickly hugged Michael. How could she leave this man? Or her mother? Would there be in-law problems with the r
eligious fanatics? Daniel’s shell shock might make him hard to live with. Oh God. What was she doing?
In for a penny, in for a pound. It was too late to back out now. Anna straightened her shoulders and smiled at her dad. The organist struck up the opening chords of the wedding march and, she walked slowly down the aisle on her father’s arm. She attempted to smile at Daniel but her cheeks felt wooden. His smile loomed huge.
Despite her nerves, Anna found the wedding ceremony, her wedding ceremony, short, simple and enchanting. A pretty young soloist sang Ava Maria in a high, clear voice. Tears filled Anna’s eyes. She failed to hear the rain pounding on the roof and windows.
Margaret also shed tears. Anna suspected they weren’t tears of tears of happiness.
Then Anna repeated her vows opposite the man whose life she would soon share. Daniel dazzled in his uniform, and Reg, also in uniform, wore a wide grin.
Daniel’s voice came loud and clear. Anna’s quivered. Her hands shook when Daniel placed the plain gold wedding band on the third finger of her left hand. She wished she had something special for Daniel.
She was declaring her love for him in front of family and friends. Why must she suffer misgivings?
Then, too soon, the simple ceremony ended; they kissed to applause, signed the register and stood outside in the rain having pictures taken. Anna wondered if her teeth chattered with more than the cold.
* * *
Anna hugged her mother. “Mum, the food looks scrumptious. I don’t know how you do it with the rationing, but you always put on a feast. Thank you for this beautiful wedding.” Anna’s mouth watered as she ogled the ham, homemade buns and peas, carrots and corn. How had Margaret procured all this? For dessert, there’d be chocolate pudding served with tea.
Till The Wind Blows Silent Page 5
