Anna frowned. Shouldn’t her mother have passed some of her culinary knowledge onto her daughter? Would she be able to handle the cooking when she got to Canada?
Anna’s frown deepened when she noticed Patsy snuggling up to Daniel and squeezing her voluptuous body against him. Patsy’s words lingered in the air. “Now aren’t you the cute one?” Her lips pursed in a sexy pout.
Daniel rubbed his injured shoulder as he pushed Patsy away. “I just married your sister. What the hell are you trying to prove?”
Anna started to sway from side to side. She was so happy an imaginary orchestra playing a Strauss Waltz rang inside her head. Any doubts she had about marrying Daniel evaporated.
Anna’s eyes crinkled with happiness as she and Daniel accepted congratulations from their guests. Some people asked when she planned to leave for Canada. She replied it would be sometime in February.
She was proud to have Daniel at her side. He was friendly, and charmed all their neighbours. He asked the Anderson’s how they liked their new prefab house.
Paul Anderson responded, “We love it. It’s almost worth being bombed out.”
Daniel even got a smile out of staid Janet Meadows when he complimented her on her beautiful new hat.
The only people missing were Ronald and Charles Harding. She hoped to God Charles would still be alive tomorrow.
Michael put the gramophone on and everyone listened to the White Cliffs of Dover. Anna thrilled to Vera Lynn’s haunting voice. Michael, with tears in his eyes, started to sing along to the recording in a less than perfect voice. Soon virtually everyone in the room was singing. Michael waved his arms like a conductor. The crowd swayed in time to the music.
Anna also felt unshed tears prick at the back of her eyes. Were they tears of happiness or sadness? Probably both. She would never forget this moment.
Anna approached Julie, stunning in a strikingly beautiful, although obviously well used, navy blue sheath. Anna briefly hugged her friend. “Thank you for coming. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Julie smiled, revealing her perfect teeth. “Thank you.” Daniel’s groomsman, Reg, rushed to Julie’s side and placed an arm around her waist. “I have an announcement to make. Julie has agreed to marry me. We’ll go to the altar in three or four months.”
Reg and Julie gazed into each other’s eyes. Anna knew the rest of the people assembled had disappeared as far as they were concerned. Anna often felt like that with Daniel. It must be the essence of love.
Then the wedding guests cheered and Daniel clapped Reg on the back. “Congratulations, you two are perfect together. I’m sure you’ll be as happy as Anna and me. I just wish the four of us could continue to see each other in Canada. Even though it’s impossible. Your farm’s in Manitoba. Mine’s in Alberta. We’ll be hundreds of miles apart.”
Anna felt sorry as well. It would be wonderful to enjoy Reg and Julie’s companionship in Canada. Much would be missed when she moved.
Anna felt a small, warm hand close onto her own. She smiled with pleasure because she felt quite certain it belonged to her nephew, Robert. She bent down and enclosed him in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here. Who brought you all the way from Wales? Oh, never mind. It doesn’t matter. I just never want this hug to end.”
Anna finally held Robert at arms-length and took a careful look at him. He appeared taller, but otherwise relatively unchanged. His hair still shone a soft blond; his eyes still looked bright blue. His cheeks were as rosy as ever. He must be thriving in Wales.
Robert spoke softly. “Is it true that you are going off with a stranger to Canada?”
“Daniel is hardly a stranger, but yes, I’ll be leaving in a short while for Canada. I will miss you terribly. However, I love Daniel and Canada is his home. Someday you’ll have a wife, and then you’ll understand.”
Robert looked like he doubted that would ever happen but he nodded his beautiful head in agreement. “I wish you were my mother. Then I could go with you.”
Anna had heard this before. Patsy had been furious and she undoubtedly would be again. However, luckily it looked like Patsy flirted with one of their neighbors and didn’t hear the exchange. Anna saw her sister laugh as she tossed her hair over her shoulder.
The first time Anna bought Robert a toy train, which he loved, he called her Mum for weeks. Anna hadn’t wanted to cause trouble for Patsy, she simply loved the child. Anna frowned. She wanted children almost as much as food or sleep or life itself. She couldn’t understand Patsy’s indifference to his son.
However, Anna rarely quarreled with Patsy. She craved harmony and believed it her mission to maintain peace within the family. Was she abandoning this mission by leaving? For an instant her happiness was clouded by guilt before she pushed it away.
* * *
In the taxi on their way from the train to the small quaint inn by the sea Anna and Daniel animatedly related the story of how they met to their driver. The man appeared fascinated by their tale. The honeymoon would last four days. On the fifth, Daniel would begin the return journey to Canada. His parents had written he was needed on the farm. They hadn’t said anything about his wife. Anna clutched her queasy stomach. The result of nerves? She feared so. Daniel’s parents didn’t sound at all welcoming.
Anna delighted in the inn. Even in the rain it looked romantic. She discovered their room contained a fireplace and fine mahogany furniture. A table and two chairs had already been set for the provided breakfast.
A smiling Anna exclaimed, “I don’t know when I’ve seen a more beautiful room. It will be so cozy once we get a fire going in the hearth. I wish I’d brought along my paint box. It would make a beautiful Van Gogh like picture.
Daniel said, “We certainly weren’t going to stay with your parents tonight, or in that suffocating room I rent that is filled with men. I need to be all alone with you, Mrs. Armstrong.”
Anna glowed. Mrs. Armstrong. How good the words sounded. She had a good, honest, brave husband. Children would follow. She had everything she’d ever wanted.
The fireplace not only warmed the room, but also bathed it in flickering light. Daniel took Anna into his arms and kissed her again and again. Rapture flooded her. They had, of course, kissed before,, but these kisses became more insistent, more passionate.
In the midst of a hot embrace, he unzipped her wedding dress. His big, strong hands felt wonderful on her back and she could feel his male hardness against her body. Anna moaned with pleasure.
Daniel carefully helped her out of the dress. It would remain beautiful for Aunt Sophie’s daughters. She placed the dress over the only chair and stood before him in her slip. She quivered with excitement.
“Anna, you are beautiful. So beautiful.”
Firelight played on Daniel’s handsome face. He became Eros, God of love. Anna was Aphrodite.
She felt beautiful enough to be demanding. Will you take off your uniform? I want to look at you.” Anna’s voice choked with desire.
“Of course.” Daniel slowly began to remove every piece of clothing. Anna moaned. She’d never seen a more fantastic sight. He was gloriously male and as perfectly proportioned as Michelangelo’s David. His only flaw were the divots on his shoulder where the shrapnel, or at least much of it, had been removed. Anna decided that the male body was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
“Can I take off your slip?”
“Of course.” He pulled the garment over her head and she stood before him in her bra and corset. Her chest was flushed and she felt hot. She was too aroused to be embarrassed, although she had never liked the look of her near-naked body. Daniel easily removed her stockings. Her corset also presented no problem. It had been bought in a large size so it would last longer. He fumbled as he unclasped her brassiere. Her husband appeared as inexperienced as herself. She removed her own knickers.
Daniel sighed. “I’m in heaven.” He pulled Anna into his arms. They moved as one to the bed. Soon she had his length and strength and supreme
maleness against her. She cried out with desire. He caressed every part of her body. The small breasts and hips she’d never liked felt wonderful under his touch. Anna absently realized she wasn’t wearing the blue nightgown her mother had gifted her for the first night of the honeymoon. It didn’t matter. There would be plenty of time for the nightgown when Daniel went back to Canada.
Anna groaned when Daniel entered her. It was a groan fueled by desire, not pain. She was in ecstasy. Despite the fact they were both virgins, they found a rhythm and it brought them to climax. Enthusiasm made up for inexperience.
Finally they lay together, spent, in a tangle of body parts. Daniel repeated over and over “I love you.” Anna was too overcome for words, but she sighed with pleasure. She was now a woman in every sense of the word.
* * *
It had been the fullest, most exciting day of Anna’s life. It was also the most exhausting. Sleep came almost instantly although she wasn’t used to sleeping with someone else. A part of her was aware of Daniel’s steady breathing and his sexy, musky scent. It mingled with her perfume.
Abruptly, she awoke. Daniel trembled. His whole body was covered in sweat. She felt as if the heat he radiated would burn her flesh. He screamed and she thought she heard, “God. God help me,” but couldn’t be sure. His voice sounded loud and harsh, nothing like his regular speaking voice. Anna shrank away from him.
He kicked and thrashed so hard she feared he would fall out of bed. He pulled the covers off Anna. She froze in terror. Oh God, what can I do? Finally, Daniel quit thrashing about and began to whimper like a lost puppy. Still asleep, he turned towards her, assuming the fetal position. His cries ceased.
“Should I try to wake him??” She was terrified of him like this, but worried he might harm himself, or her, if he remained sleeping. She pulled the covers back over her shoulders because the room had grown cold and propped herself up on one elbow. Her heart pounded. She tentatively touched his good shoulder. “Daniel, wake up. You had a bad dream. You have nothing to fear. You’re safe, my love. Soon you’ll be back in Canada.” She was certain her voice was soothing.
Anna shook almost as much as Daniel. She had suspected something like this might happen ever since she’d noticed the vacant look in his eyes that first night they’d gone dancing. However, it was still horrid.
Daniel awoke. His eyes opened slowly, he appeared wild and crazed. Anna cowered before his gaze. Would he hit her, mistaking her for the enemy? No. In an instant the wildness withdrew. It was replaced by the vacancy Anna recognized from earlier incidents.
A couple of short moments passed with only the vacancy for company. Then Daniel’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh God, I’m sorry. Now you know you’ve married an emotional cripple. I’m broken. I only hinted at my nightmares. I should have said more. It’s just that I love you so much.” He struggled to stifle a sob.
Anna knew her next words would be crucial so she spoke from her soul. “I will never be sorry I married you. You are a thousand times better than any other man. You are kind and good.” Anna jumped when a log crackled in the fireplace.
“Only a cruel man could have gone through what you’ve seen and not be troubled. I understand. I will always understand.” Anna threw her arms around her husband. She felt the pounding of his heart.
Yet, despite her words, Anna wondered if she hadn’t made a mistake. What if every night became like this? Interrupted sleep and the anguish derived from loving someone who was sick. It was all made worse because she’d soon be in a strange country. But she loved Daniel. He fulfilled her like no other person. She must do her best to help him. She maneuvered into a cross-legged sitting position on the bed. She looked into Daniel’s sad, beautiful eyes. “I have an idea. I think I may know how to fix you. Tell me about your dream. When I was trapped in the rubble I found I became used to the terror after a while. If you relive your experiences I think some of your fears might go away. You’d be confronting them just as your subconscious tries to do in your dreams.”
Anna stared at the fire. It had begun to die, but she ignored it. “I read in an article composed by a psychologist that talking about trauma helps get rid of it. So please talk to me. I think you’ll begin to feel better.”
Anna leaned in close so she could decipher Daniel’s hushed tones. “I’m so ashamed. I can’t tell you my dream. And I’ll never talk to a psychologist. I’m not a nut case.” Daniel’s hands shook and his face was flushed.
“Please Darling. Please.”
Daniel moaned. “I can’t. I simply can’t.”
His face grew red with anger and Anna withdrew rapidly.
“Who says talking helps? You just read something in a silly magazine. What do you know?” He sat upright in bed and buried his face in his hands.
The scent of Chanel No. 5 was cloying. All colour drained from Anna’s face while she sought to comfort him. “I most definitely do not think you’re insane. But please. If you love me, talk to me.”
“I love you Anna, but…” He started to sob.
“Yes, you can tell me. Tell me everything.” She reached out and gently touched his arm. His tension surged through her fingertips.
Daniel quit sobbing. She handed him a hankie. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. “Okay. I’ll try. We were assigned to Juno Beach and I commanded a Sherman Firefly tank, and we were hit on the beach.” He spoke so softly Anna had to strain to hear him.
He stopped speaking and looked expectantly at Anna, his face still racked with pain.
Please, you didn’t tell me enough. Give me details. I know it’s painful, but I think it will help. And remember, none of this is your fault. You had an impossible job. I love everything about you. I just want you whole again. What were you feeling?”
“Fear. I’ve never been so scared. I remember the terrible weather, the seasickness and how the ship reeked of vomit. I couldn’t sleep the night before the attack, just as I haven’t slept properly every night since.” He shrugged, “You see, I’ll never be the same again. I was happy and young and stupidly naïve. Now I’m old and broken.” He sighed and she winced with his pain.
“I’ve never been so terrified as when they launched our Sherman Firefly into the rough seas. I heard later some men drowned. Our radios failed because of the seawater. I was with my buddies in the tank, but somehow achingly alone. It was chaos. Dying men were everywhere. The beach was filled with brains and guts and blood, men screaming and crying.” Daniel began to shake again.
Anna touched his good shoulder. Her eyes willed him to say more.
“Five infantry mounted themselves on our tank and I worried about them. Not an idle fear. Within minutes, German guns killed them all. Their blood ran down the tank. I still see it. I’d been talking to them only hours before.”
Daniel swallowed and Anna feared he might vomit. “My prayers were useless. I may not be particularly religious but I prayed then. I’m sure every man on the beach did. The landing was equally horrific. Our tank buried itself in the sand. It was just like the rubble. I couldn’t see a thing and I was supposed to fight.”
Suddenly, he stopped talking. He buried his face in his hands. “I cannot continue. Leave me alone.”
Anna shuddered. It seemed cruel to push him, but she truly believed it was the right thing. “Just a little more. I love you. I would die for you if I could erase your pain.”
Suddenly, he slammed his fist down onto the bed with such force both pillows landed on the floor. He roared, “Damn it. I’ve had enough. This is making me feel worse. You say you love me. So leave me alone.” His handsome face was wild with anger. Anna leapt from the bed and landed on the floor in a heap beside the pillows. She feared Daniel might hit her and it wouldn’t be his fault. She would never again force him to explain a nightmare.
“As you wish. Remember that I love you.” She reached open her arms and Daniel reluctantly moved into them. Despite everything, the warmth from his body soothed her.
* * *
In th
e morning, the rain ceased and they faced the bright day with sudden optimism. They didn’t talk about Daniel’s dream, but rather the blood on the stained sheets.
”I hope I didn’t hurt you. I love you. I never want to hurt you.”
Anna sighed with unexpected happiness “No, you didn’t hurt me. Making love with you was even more wonderful than I’ve ever imagined and it’s because of you, Mr. Armstrong. It was beautiful.
He beamed. He took her into his arms and they made love once again.”
PART 2
LETHBRIDGE, ALBERTA, CANADA
1945
Chapter 5
Other passengers seated near Anna no doubt thought her serene, and perhaps slightly bored, as she sat with a blanket on her lap in the dim light of the February afternoon. However, inside she churned with excitement. Today she would see Daniel and her new home.
Like many of the women, she attempted to fight the winter cold, which seeped right through to her bones. She couldn’t suppress a shiver that made her teeth chatter.
The loud and hauntingly beautiful whistle of the cross-Canada train signaled that shortly her arduous two-week journey would be over and she would be in Daniel’s arms. The next stop was Lethbridge, the nearest city to Daniel’s farm.
This whole excursion had been an adventure, and Anna definitely believed she must have inherited a yearning for adventure. Her grandfather and great grandfather on her father’s side had been sailors, and the latter man had even successfully fought pirates.
This had brought wealth and a certain amount of fame to the family, and left Anna proud of her Marshall genes. Over the years, indolent ancestors had squandered much of the wealth. Anna’s father was ambitious and his hardware store a success. However, since the war the Marshall’s were subject to shortages and rationing just like everyone else.
Till The Wind Blows Silent Page 6
