Urban Mythic: Thirteen Novels of Adventure and Romance, featuring Norse and Greek Gods, Demons and Djinn, Angels, Fairies, Vampires, and Werewolves in the Modern World

by C. Gockel

  Even when Orpheus came on and began belting out their first song, he didn’t turn back round. He was waiting for just the right moment which, fortunately, didn’t take long. Barely three songs in, Apollo pulled himself up and began walking towards the men’s restroom. Coop grinned to himself and pushed off from the railing. It was time to have some fun.

  ‘I’ll be back soon,’ he said casually to Hermes, who muttered something inaudible back.

  Coop trailed after Apollo, dancing behind him and pulling faces. Okay, it was pretty childish but it was still fun. As soon as they were in the bathroom, he set his plan into action. Apollo unzipped himself at the urinal while Coop carefully turned on a tap until it was barely dripping. He caught some of the water on his fingertip and flicked it at the urinating god. Apollo jerked and turned around as if expecting to see someone there; of course all that was visible was the seemingly empty restroom.

  Coop smirked and flicked more water at him. Apollo cursed and this time looked up at the ceiling as if he expected to see a leak. As soon as he did so, Coop carefully picked up one of the foul-smelling yellow urinal cubes and flung it at Apollo’s back. Apollo spun round, arcing a stream of urine onto the floor and making Coop laugh aloud.

  A look of comprehension spread across Apollo’s face. ‘Let me guess,’ he said slowly, ‘the little God of Love is here to spread some mischief. I’d have expected no less. Did you really think I wouldn’t hear what my father has done to you?’

  The smile disappeared from Coop’s face. ‘You’d better watch your back, you know. You’ll never be completely sure whether I’m around spying on you. You might call it mischief, but I’m going to be having a hell of a lot of fun.’

  ‘Really?’ Apollo asked drily. ‘Do you think I should be worried that you’re following me into the men’s room to flick water on me? Frankly, my little cherub, if that’s the most exciting thing you have to do with your time, then feel free. And feel free to spy on me whenever you want. All you’ll discover is that my life is considerably more interesting than yours.’ He zipped up his trousers and walked over to wash his hands.

  ‘I’m going back out now,’ he announced. ‘You can come and join us, you know. You can have fun watching all these human girls fall over themselves to be with me.’

  Coop snorted. ‘You know very well that they prefer me.’

  ‘Not when you’re invisible, they don’t,’ smirked Apollo. He raised a hand in the air and waved it in a mock salute. ‘Toodle-do, Love.’

  Apollo walked out. Coop remained where he was for a moment, seething. Okay, flicking water in the toilets was an immature thing to do. He was man enough to admit that. But it didn’t mean he was finished by any means. He stalked out after the Sun God, just in time to see some poor waitress’s face crumple as Apollo obviously said something insulting to her.

  Coop watched as Apollo sauntered back to his friends and rubbed salt in the wound by encouraging them to laugh at her. Coop’s hackles rose. He wasn’t above some petty mischief but he wasn’t about to stoop to a level where people actually got hurt. He turned back to see the girl run off down the stairs and suddenly knew exactly what he was going to do to teach Apollo a lesson.

  Spotting Hermes in the same spot where he’d left him, he walked over. ‘There’s something I need you to do.’

  ‘Coop, there’s always something you need me to do.’

  ‘Yeah, but this time it’s important. That waitress? The one who asked you if you wanted a drink?’

  ‘You’re not getting any alcohol, Coop.’

  ‘No, no, it’s fine, I don’t want a drink. But Apollo does.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘When that waitress comes back, tell her you want to buy Apollo a drink. Send over a bottle of champagne. But she has to deliver it personally. She won’t want to do it but you need to make her.’

  ‘Why would I want to make someone do something they don’t want to do? I wouldn’t want to wait on that smug bastard either,’ Hermes complained.

  ‘Trust me. This will be worth it.’

  It seemed an age before the girl came back to the gallery. When she did, Coop noted the drawn look on her face and felt a wave of sympathy. It was okay though: he was about to make her feel a hell of a lot better about herself. He grinned. Everyone needed an ego boost from time to time. He nudged his friend. ‘There she is. Go and get her over here.’

  ‘Coop,’ Hermes began.

  ‘Please.’

  Hermes sighed heavily. ‘Fine.’ He beckoned the waitress over.

  ‘Yes, sir?’

  Hermes eyed her. She appeared very subdued, especially against the buoyant energy of the crowd.

  ‘I’d like to order a drink,’ he said gently.

  ‘Of course. What would you like?’

  ‘Champagne, please,’ he said. ‘A full bottle. But it’s not for me.’ Hermes pointed over to where Apollo was sprawled across a chair. ‘You need to give it to him.’

  The girl’s face dropped and she blushed. ‘Um, I, can get you the champagne,’ she started to stutter, ‘but maybe it would be better if you delivered it yourself.’

  Hermes felt awful, but he could feel Coop jabbing him in his side. ‘No, I’d like you to do it.’

  She stared at him, emotions openly warring on her face. Then, finally, she nodded. ‘Okay.’

  Hermes watched her turn and head down to the bar to make the order. ‘If you’re doing this to torture that poor girl, Coop…’

  ‘You know me better than that. I don’t mess with innocents.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look less inclined to do something.’

  ‘Perhaps. But the “flower that smells the sweetest is shy and lonely. ”’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘Wordsworth. He was a poet.’

  ‘I know who Wordsworth was,’ Hermes growled, as the girl returned with a tray.

  She barely looked at him as she passed although Hermes carefully followed her progress. When she reached Apollo’s table, the Sun God looked up at her, amused. He said something to her and her face flamed while his friends laughed uproariously.

  ‘Coop, this is really bad.’

  Coop wasn’t paying any attention. He’d pulled out his little golden box and was already assembling its contents. He stepped to the side to get a clear shot and trained his sights down onto Apollo’s heart. The Sun God wouldn’t know what had hit him.

  As soon as Coop was positive that Apollo was looking directly at the girl, he squeezed the trigger and struck him directly in the heart.

  Chapter Eight

  Skye was standing in front of the table, wondering whether it was possible for things to get any worse. The man called Apollo was gazing at her with such a look of derision that she felt physically sick. She should have stood up for herself and told that man to get someone else to deliver the sodding champagne. Except this was her job, and she had to remain professional and do it to the best of her ability. But the palpable mockery in Apollo’s eyes at her return for more humiliation made her wish the ground would open up and swallow her.

  He raised his eyebrows. ‘You’re hot,’ he said, licking his lips slowly. Then he cast his eyes around at his friends. ‘Isn’t she? She’s blushing like a virgin at her first orgy.’

  The whole table began to laugh as if he’d just told the funniest joke of all time. Skye wished she could think of a witty retort which wouldn’t lose her her job but her mind was blank.

  ‘The gentleman by the stairs would like you to have this champagne with his compliments,’ she said stiffly.

  Apollo’s brow furrowed and he leaned over to see who she meant, then looked back at her. ‘It’s really from you, isn’t it? You’re trying to impress me.’

  Skye opened her mouth to make an angry reply but suddenly a spasm crossed Apollo’s face and he blinked up at her. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he said.

  She stared at him. What was he trying to pull now? He patted his knee and gestured towards her. ‘Come and sit do
wn.’

  Skye was unable to keep the loathing out of her voice. ‘The champagne is from the gentleman by the stairs, sir.’

  She put the tray down on the table and turned to leave. Apollo, however, was up in a flash and standing in front blocking her way. He reached out and gently touched her cheek. ‘Don’t go. Stay and have some champagne with us.’

  Skye ignored him and side-stepped to the right. He moved with her. Then she side-stepped left. He mirrored her movements again.

  ‘I’ll get rid of all these people,’ he said. ‘Then we can be alone.’

  Skye gritted her teeth. He was going to an awful lot of trouble just to humiliate her even more. Before she could say anything, however, he jerked his hand over at his friends. ‘Leave,’ he said, keeping his eyes trained on her face.

  There was a moment of silence from behind him. Then someone snorted and Apollo hardened his voice. ‘Now.’

  It was clear there wasn’t to be a discussion. Without further objections, all of them stood up and walked past her. A few gave her curious glances, while a couple seemed openly hostile.

  Again, Skye tried to move with them and escape. Again, Apollo blocked her path. ‘You keep trying to get away from me,’ he said. ‘But I want you to stay.’

  Something inside Skye snapped. ‘That’s enough,’ she yelled. ‘I’m just trying to do my job. Just because I’m a waitress doesn’t make me less of a person or less worthy than you. I can’t help the fact that I blush. I guess it means that I have feelings. Except you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? Clearly, the only feelings you’ve ever had have been of puffed up self-importance. You think that because you’ve got money you’re better than me. You think that because you’ve got good looks, everyone should fall down at your feet and worship you. Well,’ she paused for a moment then looked him straight in the eye, ‘well, screw you.’

  For a heartbeat, Apollo didn’t speak. Then he leaned in towards her, until his face was almost touching hers. ‘You’re magnificent.’ And he planted his lips onto hers.

  Skye jerked up her knee and slammed it with all her might into his groin. He doubled over in pain. Within a flash, Helios was there, glaring at her. ‘Get your stuff and get out,’ he snarled. ‘You’re fired.’

  Apollo moaned something. Skye stared down at him and up at Helios. Then she gathered the very last scraps of her dignity and walked out.

  The next morning, Skye lay in bed and stared at the peeling floral wallpaper. Her adventure in the Big Smoke had ended in abject failure. It was ironic, she figured, that in finding her voice and her spirit she’d managed to end up getting herself sacked from her job.

  It had taken the security staff at Nemesis all of five minutes to escort her to her locker to collect her stuff and then shove her out onto the street. She turned over listlessly. She’d just have to go home with her tail between her legs. Her parents were too kind to say ‘I told you so’, but she knew that’s what they’d probably be thinking.

  Skye hugged her knees to her chest and sighed. Well, being a waitress was only ever a temporary option anyway, she told herself. Something else would turn up soon.

  The doorbell rang. Skye ignored it and curled up into a tighter ball. A moment later, it rang again. She swore to herself. Aware that her flatmates had enjoyed a much later night than she had, she pulled herself out of bed and padded downstairs, wrenching the door open and blinking out into the bright sunshine.

  ‘What?’

  There was a teenager standing in front of her, thrusting out a huge floral display. Skye stared at it uncomprehendingly.

  ‘Flowers for you,’ he trilled.

  They’re obviously not going to be for me, Skye thought irritably, taking the heavy bouquet and scribbling her signature on a piece of paper before closing the door and taking them into the kitchen. The bloody thing weighed a ton. It contained all manner of roses: deep succulent reds, delicate pinks, sunny yellows. While she’d been traipsing unhappily through the streets of London, someone else had clearly garnered themselves a rich admirer. She shrugged and began looking for a vase to put them in. All she found in the cupboards was one small chipped glass affair, so she ended up separating the flowers into all manner of receptacles, from an old Pepsi bottle to a grubby but tall mug. Then she stood up to go back to bed and return to both her duvet and her misery.

  Before she had taken three steps there was a muffled ringing sound from her bag, which she’d dumped in a corner of the kitchen. Hoping it wasn’t her parents calling to check up on her, she dug the phone out and looked at the screen. Unknown number. Great. It was probably someone cold-calling to sell insurance or something else that she couldn’t afford. She hit the green answer button and held it up to her ear.

  ‘Did you get my flowers?’ a deep voice asked.

  Skye held the phone away from her face and stared at it. The voice spoke again. ‘Hello? Can you hear me?’

  Slowly, she brought it back to her ear. ‘Who is this?’

  ‘Apollo, of course. Did you get the flowers? I hope you like roses. I wasn’t sure if you would or not.’

  Skye hung up. How in the hell had he found her number? And more to the point, why was he calling and sending her flowers?

  The phone rang again. Skye looked at it for several moments, then answered it again.

  ‘We got cut off,’ Apollo said. ‘Are you okay?’

  Skye found her voice. ‘How did you get my number? And my address?’

  ‘Helios gave it to me, of course. Would you like to meet me for lunch?’

  ‘What?’ she screeched. ‘How dare he give out personal information right after firing me! There must be laws against that kind of thing.’

  ‘I’m sorry you lost your job,’ said Apollo solicitously. ‘But you’re better than that anyway. And now you’re not working, you’ll be able to spend more time with me.’

  Skye hung up again. The whole world had gone crazy. Any minute now she was going to wake up and realise all this was just a terrible dream. She pinched the skin of her arm. It hurt. Bugger.

  The phone rang once more. She answered it and immediately began shouting. ‘Stop calling me! I don’t want anything to do with you, do you understand? I don’t know what it is you think you’re doing but you can’t mess with people’s heads like this.’

  ‘Ms Sawyer?’

  Skye’s mouth dropped. It wasn’t him. ‘Er, yes,’ she said cautiously, her stomach dropping in horror.

  ‘This is Love and Associates calling. We received your CV via a recruitment agency.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘You mean Pendleton’s?’

  ‘Yes, from Pendleton’s. We were quite impressed at your background.’

  Skye couldn’t keep the scepticism out of her voice. ‘I’d have thought Master’s Degrees in English Literature were two a penny.’

  ‘Oh, quite the contrary,’ said Coop, scribbling down English Literature on a piece of paper and holding it up for Hermes to see. ‘We often find that English graduates have a lot to offer.’

  Skye blinked. Was this for real? If it was, and she’d answered the phone like that…

  ‘I’m sorry. When I answered I thought you were someone else.’

  ‘Oh, that’s quite alright. It happens all the time. Now,’ he said, looking at Hermes’ own written response and grimacing, ‘we were wondering whether you were still looking for a position.’

  Skye sat down heavily on a nearby chair. ‘What kind of position?’ she asked cautiously.

  ‘Personal assistant for a client of ours,’ Coop said, keeping his fingers tightly crossed. ‘A writer. He’s a bit of a recluse. It’s likely that you won’t even see him as he likes to keep himself to himself. Nevertheless, he’s looking for someone to help him out. Sort out bills, do some typing, that kind of thing.’

  For a moment, Skye didn’t reply. Was it possible that at the very moment when she’d thought all was lost, she had been saved by pure providence?

  ‘Ms Sawyer?’

  She
took a deep breath. ‘It sounds … nice,’ she said. That was an obvious understatement. It sounded more than nice, it sounded perfect. ‘Is it in London?’

  ‘Ah, no,’ replied Coop. ‘It’s in Greece, a live-in position. That won’t be a problem, I trust?’

  Skye’s heart sank. In Greece? Where she didn’t speak the language? It would be even harder there to make friends than it was here. She should have known it was too good to be true. She opened her mouth to decline the offer, when the doorbell rang again.

  ‘Sorry,’ she apologised, ‘there’s someone at my door. Would you mind terribly if I called you back in five minutes?’

  ‘No problem. In fact, I’ll call you back.’ Coop hung up.

  Hermes was watching the seemingly floating phone through narrowed eyes. ‘Is she going to bite?’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Coop answered. ‘If she does though, it’ll be perfect.’

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘She’ll come to my home and live there. My darling mother and the King of Heavens have expressly forbidden anyone from Olympus from visiting, which means that Apollo, who is now madly in love with her, will be driven insane at not being able to see her.’ The satisfaction in Coop’s voice was obvious.

  Hermes remained doubtful. ‘But you’re invisible. Won’t she think that’s a bit strange?’

  Coop dismissed his reservations. ‘I’ll work around it. She’ll never know. The shy and reclusive Ms Sawyer will get a job, a wage and a good reference when I’m done with her so she can go on her merry way and be happy. And Apollo will be tortured at every turn to know that she’s with me.’

  ‘If Aphrodite finds out…’

  ‘She won’t,’ Coop said confidently. ‘Apollo is too arrogant and concerned with his self-image to want to tell anyone he’s found “the one” until she’s actually in his arms. And that will never happen.’

  ‘If the girl doesn’t agree, then this is all for naught.’

  ‘She’ll say yes. I can feel it in my bones.’

  Skye, meanwhile, had opened her door and was staring unhappily at the man on her doorstep. Apollo had obviously decided that sending flowers wasn’t enough. This time, he’d come in person.