A Heavenly Kind of Love

by Lexi Ostrow

  Her aura was so densely black he couldn’t see her through it. He knew she lay inside it, as she always had, but the intensity of the death that followed her could not be hoped away. “She doesn’t have long.” The salty taste of tears was foreign to him. Biting his cheek, he rounded on his father. “Why was I not told? Surely someone was watching?”

  Gabriel looked at him, finally showcasing emotion of some sort, but Gabe could not make out just what kind. “We knew. You were so dedicated to something for the first time that I did not wish to pull you from your time here. I hoped if I presented you with how she might falter once you left, you would simply guard her from Earth as a human until she passed.”

  “You tried to steal her chance.” His low growl barely concealed his anger.

  “You have the right to stand before the Council of Angels. Now.” Gabriel’s sadness was finally audible.

  “You have given up on her. I have not.” With a powerful downward thrust of his wings, Gabe transported out, passing directly to the door of the council room.

  “Gabriel, do not charge in angry.”

  “I will do whatever I damn well please, Father.” He spat the familial term. The door opened as if he’d twisted the knob as he blasted his palms against it.

  The Archangels had all taken their seats. None, save for Ariel, dared to look at Gabe as he approached. His steps seemed to shake the floor as he planted his feet with each movement. Every single angel that refused to look him in the eye fueled his fire. He did not stand in the designated circle near his father, but at the one on the other side of the table, disrespecting his family ties. It was then he saw Carlyle leaning against the back wall. His mentor looked him in the eyes, and his gaze spoke volumes. He did not agree with Gabe's actions.

  Well, fuck him.

  “Thank you, for finally deeming my charge worthy, because she is who you truly ignored.” He began, curling his fingers around the edge of the table to keep him upright as fury threatened to have him launch at any angel who looked at him wrong. “I have also heard you are all aware cancer has nearly swallowed her whole, even if her body has not yet begun to actually deteriorate.”

  His stomach churned as he spoke of her like an object and not the woman he had come to love.

  Continue. For her.

  “We all know the humans, many of them at least, believed a miracle happened on this day—on Christmas. So it is fitting that today I come before you and demand, no take, the miracle that my charge is worth.”

  “You have your answers then?” It was Uriel who spoke though he still did not meet Gabe’s gaze.

  “Aye.”

  “Gabriel, please lead your worker in the defense he wishes to begin.” Sandalphon’s icy blue gaze shifted between Gabe and his father as the man tapped his fingers on the table.

  “Gabriel, Guardian of Man, please inform the council of why Cassandra Marks should be saved from a disease that angels do not typically save humans from.”

  His father’s words were cold and calculated, but Gabe’s would not be.

  “Cassandra Marks lived through a tragic upbringing that could have turned her into a terrible human being. A human who stole, attacked and even murdered to survive. She bounced between not one, but three, foster homes until a family adopted her. Then, in a twist of fate, her parents were taken from her. She was alone, and instead of turning her talents and mind to negativity, she began to plan.” He looked around and was not surprised to see the angels still not looking at him. “Her life’s work is about creating a worldwide system that will place children with families no matter the country. It will reduce if not eliminate the ridiculous fees that hinder so many parents away from adopting and leave so many children, especially in third world countries, without a family.”

  Gabe pushed back from the table and circled around Michael. “Even angels have families. We have parents and siblings. We have lovers and children. Is it not fair humans all be given a chance if fate has stolen their family?”

  Michael finally looked into Gabe’s eyes, a steely expression lurked in the depths, but his head did nod.

  “Cassandra Marks is incredible, but not for her system. For her soul. While fighting this cancer, she remained optimistic. It is true she has had moments of weakness, and I am honored to have been there as her Guardian to protect her from herself. She spent time at the children’s ward, at the soup kitchen, and with her support group. I was with her many times, and I can tell you, there is no one with the ability to light up a room the way Cassandra Marks does. She is a guiding light who will ensure the program she dreamed up is brought to fruition. She deserves to live and see those children find homes. To see parents bring home the missing piece of their family. Cassandra is not replaceable. She is not someone to cast aside because of this cancer. She is someone to save.” When he stopped speaking, he was at the opposite end of the table, staring at his father, his body struggling to take in air as fear for her life suffocated him with each word.

  “Is it true you asked if she was needed for her vision and she responded she was not?”

  “You!” Gabe hissed as he lunged at Carlyle, but he never got to lay a hand on the other Guardian Angel. Michael and Raphael grabbed him around the waist, slamming him against the left wall.

  “Do not blame him. It was I who witnessed the conversation.” Gabriel stepped up to Gabe, his eyes glowing brightly. “Calm yourself or your plea will be dismissed.”

  Swallowing, he forced his anger down, driving it deep into his body until it sat in his feet like weights. “I’m sorry.” He spoke to Carlyle even though he did not look at him. “I apologize for the loss of temper. As one can imagine, I have grown very connected to Miss Marks. I am protective.” I am in love.

  “The council will ignore the outburst as it does not pertain to the human in question. Now, Gabe, answer the question.”

  Sucking in a deep breath through his nose, Gabe held onto it until his lungs burned. He breathed out on a sigh, doing his best to keep his emotions in check. “It is true. She understands that while her work is her design, any other can champion setting it up.”

  “Thank y-”

  “But I disagree.” He ignored the glare from his father and kept speaking. “It is her soul that will ensure the success of the project. Is it possible another intelligent person can create the algorithm needed? Of course. But the work is about more than the algorithm. It’s about how her soul touches the people around her. She needs to be the one performing the meetings and setting things up. She is the only one who understands. Will she die one day? Yes, and by that time I believe she will have found another human like herself to pass the job to.”

  “Thank you for your appeal. It is an uncomfortable question, but one that must be asked.” Gabriel did not appear sorry to have to ask, his eyes still burning with heavenly fire, still broadcasting his anger for all to see. “Have you fallen in love with your charge?”

  Gabe’s blood drained, leaving him dizzy. “Why is that a pertinent question?”

  “Your statements must be made out of logic and reasoning. While you spoke, the cadence to your words changed at select moments.”

  Clenching his jaw, Gabe let himself look around the room at the council. Suddenly, all eyes were on him. “My feelings have no bearing on my testimony. Cassandra Marks deserves to be free of cancer. She has a mission to complete, and I am certain in my sentiment that it is her ability to understand the foster care system, a missing family and her caring soul make her uniquely qualified to at least get her vision launched.”

  “Very well.” Gabriel looked at his son out of the corner of his eye. “This is not a deliberation. Those in favor of removing cancer from Cassandra Marks, please raise your hand.”

  Gabe’s breath caught in his throat as he watched hands rise. He’d not known the answer would come so swiftly. Carlyle’s hand raised, even though he had no say. Gabe thanked his mentor with a nod, though his support could not alter the outcome, it meant a lot to Gabe. His father,
Uriel, and Michael all held their hands high.

  Breathing became difficult. Gabe put his hands to his throat and clawed at it as the room seemed to spin around him. His chest hurt as he attempted to suck in lungfuls of air. Gabriel’s hand on his shoulder finally eased him of his suffering.

  “What happened?” The words were choked out as he was hunched over still trying to catch his breath.

  “I believe you experienced a panic attack. A holdover from your time without your wings.” His father looked into his eyes as a parent, not his employer. “Do you understand what has been decided?”

  “I am not staying.”

  “Gabriel,” his father’s voice held all the warning tone of when he scolded Gabe growing up centuries ago.

  “No. If you will not save Cassandra, I will do whatever it takes to save her. I will help her fight. I will heal her suffering when I can.”

  “You will expose yourself and lose your wings. You’ve only just gotten them back. Agree to stay here. Accept that not all can be saved.”

  “No. I am her Guardian Angel. I will not abandon her. I will make myself visible to her and tell her everything.” He forced himself to rise and stand at full height. “I do not want these wings if I cannot save those who deserve salvation.”

  “Gabriel, my son, think before you act.”

  “I have done my thinking, Father. As you requested, I will answer. I am in love with Cassandra Marks. She is everything humanity should be, and while I was human, it was evident how she changed my world, in just a short time. I would gladly fall to live by her side no matter the length of time she has left.”

  He turned, allowing his wings to unfurl from his back, likely for the last time. He glanced at his father as he walked past, but none stopped him.

  Earth.

  And with a thought, he was back in her apartment. Gabe refused to look at her, to see the blackness condemning her. He wasn’t done fighting for her life. Let her see me. Another thought and he dropped the cloak that angels lived under. He tucked his wings against his back, not wanting to start off on a path that would have her think she’d gone insane.

  “Cassandra?” He wished he could ignore the swirling blackness around her, but until he fell, it would cloud his vision. If you are ever able to unsee it.

  “Gabe?” Her voice was a grumble as she rolled over and looked at him. “Is everything okay? You look . . . different.”

  “I need to speak to you. To tell you some things I haven’t shared before.”

  She sat up, the blanket falling off as she did. Staring at her, he could scarcely make out her beautiful face. Breathe, Gabe. Breathe and change your world.

  “If you tell me you’re married, I swear to G-” Getting angry took more energy than she cared to expend, but she felt the fury boiling in her gut.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Though that’s likely less insane than what I’m going to ask you to listen to.”

  Without meaning to, she tucked the blanket under her chin and scooted backward, putting her back against the wall. Gabe had been the picture of normal until a minute ago. Just get him talking, maybe it’s nothing.

  “I want to tell you whatever it is won’t change how I feel about you, but I’m not so certain I can make that promise. So why don’t you tell me already.”

  “When we’re together, have you ever noticed your emotions calm down when you’re upset? Or that perhaps maybe once or twice you’ve felt less sick with me around and then horribly ill when I leave?”

  “Yes, but what does that matter? When we’re together, I’m happy. It makes sense my body would take my positive mood and help me feel even a little bit better.” Her heart beat rapidly in her chest. For a man who seemed so perfect, she worried she may have fallen in love with a nut job.

  “I’m doing this all wrong.” He reached his hand out, touched her wrist, and smiled. “Is that better?”

  She didn’t understand the question. “I’m sorry?”

  “Are you calmer?”

  Cassandra paused, taking note of the way her heart had steadied. “I do.”

  “I swear to you, I am not insane and neither are you, but I’m not entirely who I said I was. My name is Gabe, I was a warrior for quite some time, and I’ve recently had a career change that sent me to Boston.” His eyes swirled with green and gold as he stared at her as if he were trying to convey something in them. “I am not a social worker, my father is not some random big shot New York lawyer.”

  Nothing he was saying was cause for alarm. “If you’re going to tell me you’re really a bank robber—while it would have to stop— I don’t care, Gabe.” She meant the words. His past didn’t matter if he was trying to turn it around.

  He snorted, his face twisting with mirth. “I’m not a robber. I’m not even human. I’m a Guardian Angel. Specifically, your Guardian Angel. Or I will be until this conversation ends and I’m stripped of my wings for revealing myself to you.”

  When he stopped speaking, a quiet so deep filled the room she could have heard a mouse scurry across the floor. Cassandra’s jaw dropped as she assessed Gabe. He was stern, stoic even. His jaw was set in a firm line as if he were clenching his teeth, and his gaze was unwavering.

  “Gabe,” leaning forward, she pressed a hand to his head. “You don’t have a fever.” She frowned.

  “Of course I don’t. I suppose I should have added I’m not fever addled either.”

  Her brow raised as he climbed off the bed and stood in the center of her apartment. If he were going to sprout a pair of wings, there would be no choice but to believe him.

  “Gabe, I’m sorry. The stress of dating me has obviously gotten into your head. Or maybe it’s all the times I’ve said you were my Guardian Angel. You’ve started to believe it.” She’d caused this amazing, fascinating man to have a break with reality. “You probably just need some sleep.”

  “The work trip you were planning on taking, the one before you found out about the cancer, to Cambodia.” He walked over to the desk and pulled out a folder she’d buried in a fit to not hate herself for not being able to go. “I put that there. Literally. It was my doing.”

  “Gabe, please. The mailman had it with my things.”

  He growled and crossed his hands over his chest. “I know when you were twelve years old you began volunteering your free hours to help the younger kids at the orphanage learn basic academic skills. I know you hoped it would help them find homes if they could impress potential parents with their skills.”

  Her throat tightened. She hadn’t told him about that, in fact, she hadn’t even remembered it until he brought it up.

  “I know when your parents died in that car accident, you were out in the library, not at a party like you’d told them because you knew how badly they wanted you to do normal things.”

  Cassandra’s breathing hitched. “How could you know those things? Who did you pay to find out details of my past?” Her breath came in fast, shallow gulps as she struggled to think who would know such details. “What did you hope to gain in getting close to me?”

  “Cassandra, please try to calm down.” Gabe’s eyes closed for a moment before he spoke. “I’ve told you. I am your Guardian Angel. It was I who prompted you to get to the damn doctor because you had death following you. I left my wings to be a human to get close to you to plead with my superiors to save you because it is within their powers.”

  She cried out, furious he would dare to pretend there was a cure while stating he was not crazy or sick himself. “Get out.” The words were barely above a whisper because she struggled to speak as the anger and panic collided. “Get out now.” Her foot caught in the blanket when she tried to stand, and she slipped.

  A strange sound filled the air, and before she knew it, she was in Gabe’s arms. “Let me–” The words completely vanished as she lifted her head and saw the impossible. “Oh my god.”

  “Actually,” Gabe said as he lay her back on the bed, “There is no god.”

  A brilliant pair o
f shimmering white wings were on his back. They were just like the drawing of angel wings she drew as a child—an arched top that dropped to a point near his ankles.

  “How did you get those to stay on and pop out?”

  Gabe spun, and when he did, the smallest traces of blood lined the rips in his shirt where the wings had come from. As suddenly as they appeared, they were gone, suctioned back into his back somehow.

  “This isn’t possible.” She was already standing up, reaching out to touch him. “There’s no way you had some strange surgery, and I’ve just never noticed? Or I’m the one with the fever. I’m going insane and seeing things. Hearing things too.”

  He grinned. “Like it or not, that answer is no. Please, sit.”

  She felt compelled, not like he was controlling her, but like she had to because there was a fucking angel in her apartment. “This isn’t possible.” She was talking to herself.

  “It is. I know you might not want to hear this, but I love you. I came down to save your life so I could prove to my father I was better than a stupid Guardian Angel. Everything I did was to get to know you to fight for you. Along the way, it became just about you. The day I ran out?”

  She nodded slowly, and probably for too long, but she was still in shock that this was not a fevered hallucination.

  “That moment I fell in love with you. I didn’t lie to you. I may have omitted my feelings because I didn’t want to scare you off, but nothing has been a lie. Telling you this, once you believe, will destroy my wings.”

  “Why would you give that up for me?”

  He took her hands in his and kissed the tips of her fingers. It tingled from her damaged nerves, but instantly the pain shifted to something almost pleasurable. “Because as I just finished telling the principal angels, you are the most beautiful soul I have ever met. I would give up everything to spend time with you.”