Miami Bodyguard

by Jennifer Ann

  “You can’t be sweet like that in the same breath you’re telling me the reasons why we can’t be together.” She turns with a funny little smirk on her lips, but sadness in her gaze. “That’s not fair.”

  “The entire situation isn’t fair. This sucks ass.”

  Looking down at my clenched hands, she brushes them with her fingertips. “The least you can do is kiss me goodbye…right here, where it’s safe.”

  I try to swallow. “Are you sure?”

  “I don’t date. I don’t have time for it. You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a boyfriend in forever. Besides…I have yet to be kissed as a twenty-one-year-old.”

  Through thick lashes, her eyes meet mine. Her cheeks are flushed the prettiest shade of pink. The need to take a picture of this beautiful girl scratches at my chest.

  I tip her chin up with a finger, locking our eyes as I bend in for a taste of her mint ice cream flavored lips. They’re cold and sticky sweet, parting slightly with a sharp sigh. She cradles my jaw in her fingers, gently slipping her tongue between my lips. As our tongues tangle, the need for more takes over every last molecule of my body, seizing my groin.

  She’s even softer than I had dreamed a year ago. I want to devour her in every way imaginable, and drown myself in her feminine scent. There’s no question she wants it too the way she’s kissing me back. Yet I know it’d only be the start down a dead-end road.

  I pull back to offer a pathetic smile. “Goodbye, Harlow.”

  Then I walk away.

  14

  Angie

  I stand on my patio on the Upper East Side, taking in the brand new skyline stretched out in front of my eyes. The mix of Central Park and skyscrapers isn’t quite as refreshing as the panoramic view I had of the ocean, but it’s a close second. Either way, a fresh start meant relocating. If I wanted to rebuild my career, my options were limited. I wasn’t even remotely interested in moving to LA. New York made sense for too many reasons to be denied.

  So much has changed since I completed treatment that sometimes I swear I’m living someone else’s life. My counselors helped me realize my addiction to anxiety meds wasn’t the only part of my life that needed detoxifying. Surrounding myself with a stronger support system was key not only to my success as an actress, but staying sane.

  I teetered on the edge when I couldn’t accept that John had moved on with someone else. Though the incident at the clinic truthfully was a coincidence as his wife requested to be seen after-hours before they left on a trip to Spain, I can’t exactly blame her for thinking I was still stalking them. If an ex had crashed my wedding reception while loaded, I don’t know that I would’ve been quite as calm or graceful as they had been. Sending them a handwritten apology was one of the hardest steps I had to take in the healing process.

  I rub my swollen belly, wishing I had even a fraction of elegance that my little sister possessed at the Vampire’s Kiss premiere when she was seven months pregnant with Olivia. It’s unfair that I’m obnoxiously round and my face has bloated with the added weight gain. I’ve tried avoiding being seen at all costs, which is ten times easier on the streets of New York than it was in Miami. People generally leave me alone here unless I’m making a scheduled appearance. At least I won’t have to worry about toning my body back into shape right away. Filming for my latest role doesn’t start for another six months after the baby is due to arrive.

  I was sure my career was over when they wrote my character off of Vampire’s Kiss. The writers were livid with my departure, while Eddie and my cast-mates were somewhat understanding. At least it’s expected they’ll be okay since it’s becoming the new trend in television series to kill off main characters. It was pure luck that the director of Broken Melodies loved my acting in Vampire’s Kiss, and campaigned to have me cast in one of the lead roles after discovering I was available. As one of four main characters portraying up-and-coming musicians living in New York, my hours aren’t anything near as gruesome as they were in Miami, and I won’t be filming any racy scenes. It’ll be my family’s chance to watch my work without there being any awkwardness.

  Plus I’m a cab ride away from James and my two sisters. Recovering alone has been far from easy, but between having them nearby and the great NA sponsor I met through Charlie, I couldn’t ask for a better support team.

  Well, that’s not exactly true. I miss Asher something awful. I’d do anything to find a way to win him back. Although his resentment was completely justified when the blood test came back proving Theo was the father, I’ve spent every night since praying to whoever’s listening that he’d find a way to forgive me. I wasn’t brave enough to admit to myself that I love him, or that I both wanted and needed him more than anyone.

  Now that he’s gone, I’m able to see that truth. I took advantage of his kindness, using him to fill the empty void when the pressure of fame had become overwhelming. If I were stronger, and had more to offer him other than a life with a recovering addict and raising someone else’s child, I’d literally get down on my knees and beg him to take me back. My heart aches to a crippling degree whenever I think of him still living in Miami without me.

  I was oddly relieved when Theo said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. He immediately signed away his rights, and threw $300k into an account for the baby’s college fund. The kiddo and I will be better off on our own anyway. Even if my newest gig is the last role I ever play, I won’t have to worry about providing for my child as long as I live modestly.

  The brownstone’s buzzer pulls me from my deep thoughts. I hurry inside to answer it, finding my sisters and sister-in-law toting their pack of wild children. Before I moved to New York, the sudden change in decibel and flurry of little ones may have been stressful. Now I find comfort when surrounded by my nieces and nephews. I’ve even adjusted my apartment to be kid-friendly, and invested in a few toys to keep them entertained. It was honestly the best way to prepare for motherhood, even though there are still days when I wonder who the hell I’m kidding thinking I can raise a child on my own.

  “Sorry we’re late, love,” Sharlo announces on everyone’s behalf, kissing my cheek. She hands her baby daughter off to me before guiding the toddlers through the door. “Traffic was bloody awful.”

  As Leesa snuggles against my shoulder, I kiss her blond curls and inhale her baby scent. I’ve never seen so much hair on a seven month old, and she’s already developing the sweetest personality. Cuddles with my two youngest nieces have become the best form of therapy. I’d say the same about the oldest three zooming past my legs if I could only wrangle them in for longer than a few seconds.

  Charlie’s bodyguard comes in behind them, arms filled with gift bags and presents.

  “Go ahead and set them on the table by the couch,” Evelyn tells him as she’s spreading a blanket out for her sleeping daughter.

  I eye Dante suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

  Sofia greets me with a kiss on the cheek while readjusting Lexie on her hip. “Please don’t be upset with us. We know you didn’t want a big shower with games, so we’re just doing a low-key family thing.”

  “You deserve a little pampering!” Evelyn calls over her shoulder from the living room. “We’re so proud of you!”

  Tears fill my eyes as I close the door. How could I be upset with them when they’ve spoiled me from the first day I moved to the city? Days like this I’m overwhelmed by their support. I sometimes even question how it could possibly be deserved.

  “Your mommy and aunties are so thoughtful,” I tell Leesa, capturing the chubby little hand patting my cheek, and kissing its palm. I follow everyone into my living room, taking a spot on the couch at Sharlo’s side.

  “Unless you need anything else, I’m heading out,” Dante tells Evelyn. “Give me a call when you’re ready to go.”

  “Thank you, Dante!” Evelyn sings after him.

  A dull ache spreads through my heart as I watch him leave. He always reminds me of Asher, even though their manneri
sms and facial features are nothing alike. I miss Asher with all my heart. I was naive to believe he’d always be around.

  Sharlo rubs my arm, eyes bright. “You alright?”

  I momentarily bite my lip as tears build. Another one of the most difficult parts of my recovery was being open and honest with everyone I love. I told my family everything, starting with crashing John’s wedding, and everything leading up to my affair with Asher. Charlie and James both struggled at first to accept what happened while Asher was on duty, even though I took 100% of the blame. In recent weeks, Evelyn assured me the three guys have made peace with each other, pushing away any hard feelings in light of their stone-clad friendships.

  Through a pained smile, I shrug back at Sharlo. “How’s Ash?”

  “Last I heard, he had started coaching young boxers at the local gym. I think he’s coping best he can, all things considered.”

  When I squeeze my eyes shut, tears spill down my cheeks. Of course he’d be working with kids. He would’ve made the world’s most amazing father. How will I ever forgive myself for screwing that up? At the same time I drop my face against Leesa’s strawberry scented curls, my sisters each make noises of empathy, and someone presses a tissue into my hand.

  From my other side, Evelyn gathers my hair away from my face. “Aw, sweetie. How long has it been since you’ve talked to him?”

  “A c-couple of weeks.” I dab my eyes with the tissue, and take a steady breath. “He called to see how I was doing. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but…” More tears fall as another sob rips through me. “I wish I could go back and do things differently…I miss him so much!”

  Sharlo takes her daughter, then continues rubbing my arm. “We know you do, love. I truly believe he misses you too. Give him time. There’s still hope he’ll come around.”

  Looking at her, I shake my head. “What, like after I give birth to another man’s child? How can I expect him to forgive me after I betrayed him?”

  “If he still loves you, he’ll eventually be able to see past your mistakes,” Evelyn tells me, taking my hand between hers with tears glistening in her eyes. “But if for some reason he doesn’t, you’re still going to be okay. You’ve become so strong through all of this, Ang. Even the guys are always saying how proud they are that you’re doing this on your own. And regardless of what happens with Asher, you’ll always have us.”

  One of the toddlers screams from the corner of the room.

  “The whole lot of us, including scads of nieces and nephews who adore you no matter what,” Sharlo adds with a roll of her eyes. Then she slides off the couch and heads toward the ruckus.

  “You guys are too good to me,” I tell Evelyn, reaching for her hand.

  Our fingers twist together and she grins. “Are you kidding me? We love you—you’re our sister. We should’ve been there for you a long time ago. Until I started a family of my own, I lost sight of what was important after Mom and Dad died.”

  Sofia nods, then kisses the top of her daughter’s head. “We all did.”

  Evelyn sighs deeply, tossing me a teary-eyed wink. “Too bad we can’t convince Hunter and Braden to move out here so we could all be together again.”

  “Unless the Hudson starts producing surf-worthy waves, I don’t think we’ll be seeing Brae anytime soon,” I say with a giggle.

  “And I don’t see Hunter ever selling the farm,” Sofia adds. “He’s set on living out Dad’s legacy.”

  “Yeah, well…” Evelyn collects her fussing daughter from the floor, running her fingers through Olivia’s curls. “A girl can dream.”

  I know she’s right, because I’m still holding onto the dream that Asher will come back to me.

  A few days into the month of May, I startle awake with my entire stomach cramping, bed damp with sweat. It takes a minute for my confusion to disappear before I realize I’m in Evelyn’s guest room. I’ve been staying with her while Charlie’s band plays a week-long festival stopping in several European countries. She claimed she wanted me around to help with the girls, even though she’s the most put-together mother on the planet. Deep down, I know she’s paranoid that I’ll go into labor when I’m alone as she delivered Mia in the back of a cab with our sister-in-law, Katie.

  Glancing out the windows to see it’s still pitch dark, I decide I couldn’t have been sleeping for very long. I waddle into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water, stopping along the way to admire family portraits they had taken shortly after Olivia was born with the Brooklyn Bridge in the background. A blend of jealousy and longing thickens in my veins with the site of Charlie’s arm slung around my sister, lips pressed to the top of her head as he’s holding Mia on his hip.

  It’s my fault I don’t have that with Asher. The only thing I can do at this point is to give my child the best upbringing imaginable, filled with love and happiness. My mom was a big believer that anything meant to be would happen on its own time, no matter what paths we choose.

  “Tee-tee?”

  The little voice, scratchy with sleep and confusion, tugs at my heartstrings. It’s Mia’s little nickname given to me when Evelyn started referring to me as “Auntie.” Grinning, I take a moment to study my sweet niece, imagining what it would be like to have a girl with the same Shirley Temple curls, and angelic face. Wearing little footie pajamas with a print of puppies and kitties playing together, she rubs a pudgy fist into her eye, seemingly on the verge of tears.

  All at once I’m grateful life brought me down this path so I could get to know her and my other nieces and nephews so early on. With any luck, they’ll never remember a time growing up when I wasn’t around.

  “What’s the matter, baby girl?” I bend to scoop her up, pressing a kiss against her chubby cheek. “Can’t you sleep either?”

  A forced little sigh falls from her cherry-colored lips, and she leans against me, arms held behind her back. Thinking she may be the most dramatic Kendall yet, I giggle to myself. The sound sticks in my throat with another ferocious cramp. I slap a hand against the wall, pressing my lips together through the searing pain.

  Mia taps my cheek with a soft hand. “Tee-tee?”

  “It’s okay,” I tell her, smiling through gritted teeth. “I think your new cousin is coming out to play very soon.”

  Whether or not I’m ready for this, it’s showtime.

  15

  Asher

  On the red-eye to Newark, I’m vibrating with so much energy that one of the flight attendants appears seconds away from alerting the captain there’s a psycho on board. I’m genuinely surprised when I order a whiskey to calm my nerves, and she actually serves it to me.

  The past several months without Angie have been hellacious. I’ve done everything I can to forget her aside from sleeping with other women. Becoming involved in my community—volunteering with homeless kids, starting a new job, hanging out regularly with a few guys from the gym, attending local festivals—nothing could stop my mind from wandering, wondering how she’s adjusting in New York.

  Knowing she’s getting ready to raise a kid on her own has played havoc on my conscience. If it had been mine, I would like to think I wouldn’t have hesitated to be there for her. Still don’t know that I could’ve taken her back that easily. At the very least, I would’ve done what I could to help her both physically and financially.

  Regardless, the instinct to be at her side has been overwhelming. I know it was shitty of me to ditch her after discovering the baby was Theo’s. It wasn’t so much the fact that the baby’s his, or that she lied to me when she said she was done sleeping with him. It’s the reality that she didn’t love me enough to choose us over her career. But then asking that of her makes me the selfish one. I’m starting to think there isn’t room in an actor’s life for relationships that matter.

  When Sharlo called to let me know Angie went into labor, a need to be with her took over, regardless of any remaining doubts. I knew without question that I didn’t want her to go through this alon
e, even if it means sucking it up and watching Theo welcome his child into the world. Although I’ve seen reports from gossip mags that suggest they’re no longer together, I never bothered reading them, and I asked her family not to go into the details of their relationship. It’s painful enough admitting he’s the one who got her pregnant.

  When I told James I was coming, he arranged to have a car pick me up at the airport and deliver me to the hospital. I’ve just crawled into the car when he texts to let me know Angie’s pushing. Once I’m jogging down the same damn wing as the one Evelyn was in when she had Olivia, a crippling feeling of déjà vu almost stops me dead in my tracks.

  That was the night I told Angie I loved her. I’d still move the moon and the stars for that woman, even if it meant I first had to walk over the coals of Hell. She admitted to me before going into treatment that she was full of regrets, and I am too. I should’ve forgiven her sooner. I shouldn’t have made her go through recovery for this long on her own.

  Evelyn appears from around a corner, beaming from ear-to-ear while rushing at me for a hug. “Ash! You’re just in time! I was just heading down to the cafeteria!”

  “Is the baby here? Is she okay?”

  She pulls back with the same bright smile still fixed on her lips. “Baby’s here, and they’re both doing great! I’ll take you in to see them.”

  I swallow hard, mentally bracing myself while following her to the room. Through the little window on the door, the early glow of dawn spilling through the outside windows reveals Sharlo and Sofia with their backs to me, blocking my view of the hospital bed. I stop Evelyn before she opens the door.

  “Where’s Theo?” I whisper.

  “Didn’t Angie tell you?” Her eyebrows draw down. “He’s not coming, Ash. He terminated his rights to the baby months ago.”