Fangs for the Memories

by Julia Talbot

  Please…. He groaned softly.

  “Come on, sweet. You know what your body wants.” Tom stroked his spine. “Come to see me.”

  He wanted to. He wanted to. I don’t remember!

  “Oh, love, you just have to let it come. Don’t think too hard.” Tom crooned. “I remember this. I remember how scared I was.”

  He blinked. Tom was scared? He would help.

  Nathan pushed up, sliding close, sharing scent and offering his defense.

  “I’m not scared now, love. Only worried for you.”

  For him. He was confused, lost, so frustrated.

  “Please. I know you can be like me.” Tom was smiling, encouraging, but Nathan’s head hurt.

  He backed away, heading for the other room, for the nest under the bed.

  “Nathan?” Tom followed him but didn’t crowd him. “Did I upset you?”

  He bowed but kept his distance, wanting the safety of under.

  “Nathan, I’m sorry.” Tom sat on the floor to peer at him.

  Tom. Tom. Tom. He set his chin on his paws. So scared.

  He didn’t want the badness to get him.

  “Okay. I’ll protect you.” Tom sat in front of the nest on the floor, keeping out the bad.

  He scooted forward, nose on Tom’s skin.

  “Cold!” Tom laughed for him, though. Then Tom began to ramble. “I didn’t ever think I liked the cold. I’m from Texas, and I didn’t want snow or anything, but I know better now.”

  As Tom spoke, he slowly crept out, his head on Tom’s lap.

  Stroking his ears, Tom talked softly, really letting him relax and let the nonsense words run together. He let his eyes close.

  Sorry, mate. Sorry. Forgive me.

  There’s nothing to forgive, love. Nothing.

  Love. That was something he understood, something he craved.

  “It’s okay.” Tom lifted him up so they could climb back into the bed.

  He began to groom Tom, nudging the cloth away and slowly exploring. He liked how Tom smelled like this almost as much as the wolf.

  “Such a good wolf. So good.”

  He wasn’t. He knew. He had been bad. Nathan had run, and someone was— No. He ducked under the blanket, hiding.

  “What is it, Nathan? What’s wrong? Is someone hunting you?”

  Scared. He didn’t want anyone to find him, and he didn’t want to disappoint Tom with whatever Tom wanted him to do.

  “I will not let anyone harm you.” Tom’s voice was a deep growl.

  He scooted as close as he could. Mate. My mate. Yes?

  Yes. Tom let him relax, hands moving on him. No one will harm you. You have my word.

  I trust you. He did. He just wished…. Well, he wished.

  “Rest, sweet. I still think you need rest. Trust me. I will watch over you.”

  He let his eyes sink closed again. As much as he thought Tom needed sleep, so did he. He was so tired.

  Then rest. I am watching.

  He had to believe, to trust. He closed his eyes and did not dream.

  TOM slipped out of bed to find his phone as soon as Nathan was dreaming. He needed to stay and watch as he’d promised, but he needed to talk to Carter. Now.

  “Tom. Talk to me.”

  Oh thank God. He sighed with relief. “He can’t shift, Carter. I need help.”

  “Like… you mean he’s been drugged or he’s been injured?”

  “I think—I think he’s scared. Like, he’s blocked.”

  “Ed says he’s amazing. Tanner says he was chained up?”

  “Yeah. Ed came to play. He’s hilarious.” He thought about the tiny room with the chains. “Nathan let me see a memory, I think. He was chained in a room that was totally out of a Disney dungeon.”

  Carter’s growl ripped through the phone call. “Motherfucker.”

  “I know. Carter, I know it’s selfish, but I want to see him as a man….” He hated that he felt mean for asking.

  “We’re meant to shift, buddy. We’re not meant to be trapped. We’re not human, but we’re not animals either. We’re lycanthropes.”

  “Right? I mean, he wanted to please me today, so he tried. I’m not sure he knew what he was trying to do, but he tried.” He chewed his lower lip. “What do you think?”

  “You can hear him? Literally? Words?”

  “Yes. He speaks to me. With human words. And I’m speaking to him out loud and he’s answering me in my head, so it’s not just images.”

  “Oh wow. Congratulations! Are you excited? Can I come over?”

  “Not yet. He’s resting. I’ll call when he wakes up, huh? Can you ask Tanner?”

  “Of course. I’ll see if he has any ideas.”

  Excited? Was he? Goddess, yes. He had a mate. Him. A mate that was trapped in his wolf. He wanted a friend. A companion. Someone to make love with. He loved spending time with wolf Nathan, but human Nathan would be… hot. So hot. He wanted to kiss and touch, to love someone.

  “Tom? Honey? You still there?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.”

  “Oh, hon, I can tell you’re fretting. I’ll get with the boss, maybe Fallon too. He always has the best ideas.”

  “You’re biased.”

  “About Fallon? Goddess, yes. He’s my mate.”

  His heart squeezed. That was what he wanted. Nathan could do it; he knew it. They just needed to get him past the block. “Maybe if I cook him some people food.”

  “I say don’t push too hard today. Let him learn and trust.” Carter sighed. “I can’t imagine how it must feel, all of this change for him.”

  “Right? Which is why I feel so guilty. I want to push him, but that scares him, and I want to protect him.”

  “You’re a good guy, Tom. Give me some time.”

  “I will. Thank you, Carter.”

  “Anytime. You want me to have some stew sent over?”

  “Please. I’m starving.” He thought stew was something to tempt Nathan to human food, if not human form. Like the bacon. That had been quite the success.

  How could bacon not be a success?

  Nathan’s song filled his head, distracting him from the phone.

  “He’s awake, hon. I need to go. Stew would be awesome, and I’ll introduce you.”

  “Sure. I’ll see you after a while.” The phone line went dead, and he gravitated to his wolf, drawn by the murmuring in his mind.

  “Hello, love. Do you feel better?”

  Love love love. Nathan’s song was sweet, strong.

  “Mmmm. Yes.” The bond between them got stronger every moment. He understood Carter now, how he’d been destroyed when he’d thought he lost it with Fallon.

  And Carter had been separated from Fallon for weeks. Christ. Weeks.

  His head hurt just thinking about it. It was so bad that he reached out for Nathan, needing touch.

  Nathan surged up into his hands, the sweet furry body offering comfort.

  “Mmm. Thank you, sweet. I needed that.”

  Nathan was heavy—heavier than his size showed. Was that the fact that the man was heavier? Did they stay the same? They couldn’t. Ed was a bird.

  Birds were light. Right? Ed hadn’t knocked Nathan over sitting on him….

  Dammit, there was so much he didn’t know. There needed to be a werewolf whisperer.

  He jerked. Wait. There was, of sorts. Preston, the doctor who had helped him.

  Nathan stood up and barked, obviously surprised. What? What is it?

  “Nothing, sweet. Nothing. I’m fine. My friend Carter is bringing food. Will you meet him?” He hoped Nathan wouldn’t get too nervous and hide. He wanted his best friend to meet his mate.

  Carter. The hero. He’s not your mate. That was… sure.

  “No, he’s not. I want him to meet my mate.” He beamed at Nathan, proud and pleased.

  Nathan panted at him, then stood and shook himself hard, fluffing his fur.

  “My beautiful one. So strong.”

  Nathan bowed, then a
lmost bowled him over.

  He laughed, dancing around until he could plop down on the bed. He wanted to romp too. Nathan jumped on him, then jumped away, head down, butt up.

  Tom flung his clothes off. Then he shifted, working from man to wolf. Only for Nathan would he shift this much so quickly.

  Nathan licked and lapped, encouraging him to come over, easing his transition.

  Once he was all shifted, Tom woofed, then went for Nathan’s ruff. Nathan bobbed, dodging playfully, making him work for it. They bounced off the bed and across the floor, rolling into the main room.

  Nathan bounced along the couch, the cushions going flying.

  They dug in, kicking up the rug, then slid into the kitchen.

  Wow, the cabinet doors rattled. They maybe needed to take this outside. He scrabbled, trying to get purchase on the slick floor. Nathan took his feet out, purely by accident.

  They went down hard, and Tom was stunned for a moment.

  They blinked and breathed hard. A sudden wild vision of a dark-haired man, lean and sharp-featured, hit him.

  Nathan? Was that you? Stunning. Beautiful, wonderful…. Tom groaned. That was lovely. You are lovely.

  Nathan ducked his head, ears back. Oh, poor love. So scared.

  I want to see you soon.

  I don’t know how.

  I know. I’ll help. He would help Nathan just as Preston and Carter had helped him.

  The flash came again, sharp and sudden. Nathan as a man. Tall but lean. Pale as milk. Perfect.

  Utterly perfect.

  Please, Nathan. Please.

  Nathan shook that big head. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t remember.

  Shhh. He stood, rubbing his muzzle against Nathan’s. Shh. You’re okay.

  I don’t want to be taken from you.

  No. No one will take you.

  He knew this like he knew his own name. Tom would protect his mate with everything in him. Nathan hummed and licked his nose.

  Chuffing, he licked back. Sweet.

  His mind kept going back to that image of Nathan, human, bare. His. Oh, he wanted that. Tom couldn’t help it. He’d spent most of his life as a human. This wolf thing was new. His human brain wanted a mate he could be with. Naked.

  Nathan’s soft chuff sounded naughty.

  I know! I can’t help it, sweet. I think about these things.

  Wicked mate. Nathan bit his ear.

  I am.

  The knock at the door made them both look up. Carter hooted. “Oooh ooh, I brought stew. Hey, guys. Tom, you’re fuzzy.”

  Tom barked, jumping up, front feet off the ground. Carter brought in stew and cornbread, the smells delicious. He drooled a little because he couldn’t help himself.

  Nathan. Say hello to Carter!

  Nathan stood and bowed, then barked, welcoming him in.

  Carter smiled. “Hi, Nathan. It’s good to meet you. Sorry about how I almost barged in as a kitty before. I was worried about my bud Tom.”

  Nathan blew his lips, touched Carter’s wrist with his muzzle.

  “Thanks. I try to be a good friend. Ed said you two had a ball playing. Don’t let him wear you out. He will. He’s full of mischief.”

  I used to be. Once.

  We allow mischief here. Tom nuzzled Nathan, not wanting him to be sad.

  Yes. Yes, we’ve played.

  “You two are adonkable. I love it.” Carter put the food on the floor instead of the counter. “There you go. Tom, call if you want more when you’re not hairy.” Carter winked broadly. “We should all romp together soon. The moon’s going to be amazing on the snow.”

  Yes! Yes, Nathan, can I say yes? He wanted to show his mate and friend how well they could all get along. He thought they could run and play and maybe Nathan would find more joy. More trust.

  Nathan bounced and danced for him, the joy obvious, clear as a bell.

  Yay! He bobbed his head at Carter, who laughed.

  “Excellent,” Carter said. “I’ll let you guys eat, but just howl if you need me. See what I did? Howl?” Carter bounced, clapping his hands.

  Tom chuffed happily. Silly kitty. Silly wonderful kitty. Tom loved him so.

  Nathan bounced as well, and he saw how torn Carter was. “I’m on duty. Okay, I’m going. You guys eat. Maybe tomorrow? Jami could take my shift for half an hour.” Carter laughed softly. “Maybe even an hour if I offer brandy.”

  Tom let his teeth show in a lupine laugh. Carter patted his back. “Okay, you call if you need me.” He left them, so Tom turned to Nathan. He nudged the bowl of stew over.

  Nathan waited for him, offering him his due. They would share.

  Have you had cornbread? He pushed over that pan as well. Sweet and perfect. He knew Nathan would like it.

  That flash came again, long fingers eating cornbread dripping in butter.

  Oh. Tom stopped, closing his eyes for a moment. Nathan. He was so lovely. Such a handsome man. In the image, the scars weren’t there. Not even one.

  They’ll be there now. There was a crushing shame.

  But I don’t care about them, sweet. I only care about you. I want to hold you. Love you.

  He wanted everything. Everything. If he could have it, if Nathan could give it to him, he’d be the luckiest man on earth.

  Nathan groaned, and he could feel Nathan fighting, the energy flashing around them.

  Oh, sweet. I can help. Just tell me what you need. I want to help. He encouraged, loving how Nathan was trying for him. Tom knew the agony of trying and being stuck.

  I DON’T KNOW! Nathan arched, his entire body almost leaving the ground.

  Tom let his body shift to human in record time. He grabbed Nathan, holding on tight. “I have you. I promise.”

  This he remembered—the panic, the pain, and how contact made it better. He let Nathan struggle, let him cry out. Nathan’s barks became wilder, sharper as he fought to shift.

  “That’s it, love. That’s it. It gets so much easier once you do it. I know you remember how. I want to love you, hold you, skin to skin.”

  A howl rang out, poor Nathan hurting. Tom winced, so sorry his love was in pain. He wrapped Nathan up in a blanket, giving him touch, texture, support.

  That body was elongating, the snout pulling in. Tom could see it.

  “Yes. Yes, mate. Oh, I see you. Lovely man.”

  Nathan howled, the sound sliding from wolf to man. The last note of it was a cry of pain, so Tom held on tight, trying to ease Nathan.

  Nathan’s body stiffened, then relaxed in a tangle of long legs and arms.

  “Oh, hello. Hello, love.” He stroked that dark hair off Nathan’s forehead.

  Nathan stared up at him. “Mate.”

  The deep voice was a croak, the scars on Nathan’s throat ropy and brutal and still open in some places.

  “Yes. Nathan. My mate.” Tom couldn’t stop smiling. “Thank you. I… thank you for coming to see me.”

  Nathan nuzzled against his cheek, sliding their skin together.

  He held Nathan close, the blanket warding off the cold. They should still move to the bed. Their scents were there, the pillows, softness against Nathan’s bare skin.

  “Come on, sweet. Feel how good the bed is as a man.”

  He bundled Nathan over to the bed, then curled up in their nest together.

  Nathan grunted, wrapping around him and clinging.

  Tom had to take a kiss, pressing his lips to Nathan’s. Nathan opened up to him, like a flower rising up to the sun.

  Joy filled him so deeply he could hardly contain it. He hummed, holding them together, keeping them close. He pressed kisses to Nathan’s cheeks and nose.

  “I did it.” Nathan panted. “For you.”

  “You did. Oh, sweet. I’m so proud. Thank you.” Tom couldn’t say thank you enough. “I wanted to hear your voice.”

  “It’s awful. Not mine.”

  “I don’t care, except I wish no one had ever hurt you.” In fact, he would tear the throat out of anyone who
tried again. He would. Nathan was safe now. He stroked the long spine like he’d pet the wolf.

  Nathan hummed for him, stretching long and lean. So pretty.

  Fascinated by that pale skin, Tom petted and kissed, loving on Nathan. He wasn’t looking for sex, just connection. He wanted to know… everything. “Do you know where you came here from?”

  Nathan shook his head. “I don’t. I don’t remember.”

  “That’s okay. It is.” He didn’t want Nathan to get upset and wolf out again. Not yet.

  Nathan searched his eyes, then relaxed into his arms. Trusting him.

  “Mmm. Oh, love. I like how you feel against me.” It was insane, how right it felt, how necessary.

  He rubbed his cheek against Nathan’s, feeling the burn as their beards caught. Can you hear me? Like this?

  “It’s less immediate. More fuzzy around the edges.”

  “But you can?” His smile broadened. “It will get easier.”

  “Will it?” Nathan rested on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  “Why?” He fingered every bump of Nathan’s spine.

  “I don’t know. Everything? Taking so long?”

  “Oh, love. It was worth the wait.” He hoped Nathan wanted him too. Physically. “It was just a very few days.”

  “It felt like years.”

  “Was it awful?” He thought— “I’m sorry if I made it bad.”

  “What? I meant waiting. I thought….”

  “Oh! Oh, I thought you meant being a wolf with me.” His cheeks heated. “I worry I push too hard. I’ve never done this before.”

  “Done what?”

  “Mated.” He smiled, his heart more full than it had ever been.

  “Me either.” Nathan leaned into his chest.

  “Oh, well, that’s good, right?” He chuckled, loving the warmth they generated together. “We’ll need to get you some clothes. You’re taller than me.”

  “Yes, but you are fine.”

  “Thank you.” He licked a trail along Nathan’s neck, exploring the heavy scars.

  Nathan stiffened, his body tight, the song between them dulling a bit.

  “No, love. It’s okay. They’re part of you.” He explored, refusing to back away, to not look. This was Nathan.

  Nathan eased a little, then relaxed against him once more and let Tom love on him. Perfect love. He forced himself to focus on the joy of touching Nathan instead of the horror his mate had endured. With joy you communicate joy.