Fangs for the Memories

by Julia Talbot

  If Tom did, Nathan was already asleep.

  TOM made his way to the big house, once more leaving Nathan to sleep. Another day had passed, and he wasn’t sure what to do. At all.

  Nathan wasn’t interested in anything but sleeping and water. He should be up and around by now, and Tom knew it. He felt it, physically.

  So he wanted to talk to Preston and Tanner. He wanted to complain a little with them.

  Tanner and Preston sat at the kitchen table drinking cocoa, almost like they were waiting for him.

  “Is it that obvious?” Tom asked. He guessed it was. No doubt Ed was also bringing updates.

  “Sit, Tom. I’ll get you a cup.” Tanner smiled at him. “Cookies?”

  “Please. And coffee.” He felt a little like this was an intervention. Maybe even a lot like one. That was okay; Tanner and Preston were good men.

  “I’m on it.”

  Preston reached out one hand and held on to his, the touch a comfort.

  “Hey.” Tom smiled.

  “Hey. How are you doing?”

  “I’m scared. What if Nathan can’t come back to me? As a man, I mean. We were just getting to know each other. To make plans.”

  “Has he tried? Does he want to?”

  “I asked him. He said he would never be a man again.” He loved Nathan, and he knew they were mates, but he’d been born and raised human. He needed contact.

  “Why? Does he know why?”

  “His thought was he was done with men. No more man.” Tom shrugged. “Do you think you could see him sometime today?”

  “Sure. Of course.” Preston stroked the back of his hand, an oddly soothing motion.

  Tom relaxed a little, hope rising in his chest. He could never keep it down for long.

  “I think you should talk to him about it too. Not pushing him to change, but discover the reasons why. I can make sure his body is healed and help him think, but you’re his mate.”

  “I don’t know what that means,” he whispered.

  “Nonsense.” That was Tanner. “You weren’t born a wolf, but you have that pack instinct inside you.”

  “I do? But isn’t this about being men together?” What if they were just too far apart on this?

  “At least you’re both werewolves,” Tanner pointed out. “Carter and Fallon are a vamp and a werekitty, and they’re making it work.”

  “Maybe I should talk to Fallon. Carter kinda forgot him, right?”

  “Technically, he forgot how to be a human.” Preston said it with only a tiny bit of irony.

  “And Fallon sent Carter away. Don’t forget that part.” Tanner’s voice was dry as dust.

  “Right.” He wasn’t going to send Nathan away. “I did let him get kidnapped.”

  “Tom.” Preston squeezed his hand. “He had magic embedded in him that didn’t go away just because the chain did. That ogre would have found him anywhere.”

  “And Nathan fought. To find you. To come home to you. Not just for freedom.” Tanner’s voice was so sure. “He fought.”

  “He did.” Tom whispered the words.

  “Clearly that collar jumbled his memories too. That was why he couldn’t remember anything when you met him, and why he’s having trouble now.”

  “I never thought of that.” Maybe if he helped Nathan remember how good they were together as humans….

  “This has been an odd mating, hmm? But so strong.”

  “Odd?” Tom laughed. “I have no idea. I’ve seen two.”

  Preston chuckled. “I’ve seen hundreds. It’s kind of my specialty.”

  “I thought shifters were.”

  “I’ve seen my share of them too.”

  “I want to make him happy,” he admitted.

  “Then talk to him. I know it’s tough. You think you’re having a conversation with a wolf. He’s in there, though. He’s had a lot of trauma, but he’s here with you.”

  Tom nodded, sipping his coffee. “I’m scared he’ll never shift again.”

  “Well, I think part of that is guilt.” Preston held up a hand. “What I mean by that is you’d encouraged him to be human, to go to town with you, and the moment you left him alone, he got snatched. Maybe he senses your worry, but he can’t understand it.”

  He nodded and sighed. That was true. He hated that this had been his idea. That Nathan had trusted him and ended up hurt.

  Tom didn’t know how to fix it when he’d made it possible. He helped a lot of guys, but he was never very good at helping himself.

  “Are you supposed to keep him locked in a cabin? No. You wanted him to have a real life.”

  “I do want him to. I want him to want it.”

  Tanner handed him another cookie. “He does. He was scared, but he went into town, and Ed says he was having a ball.”

  He munched as he nodded. Nathan had been overjoyed. Nathan wanted to play with Ed, wanted bones and candy.

  Tom knew he needed to hold on to those moments.

  Nathan deserved an entire life, and so did he. They’d had the barest start. Now they had to start again.

  He took a deep breath, promptly choking on a cookie crumb.

  Tanner was up immediately, pounding on his back.

  “Thanks.” He took the water Preston handed him and cleared out the dryness. “Lord. I’m a mess.”

  “You just had your mate stolen. You’re allowed.”

  “Thanks. I know he needs rest, but I also know he’s hiding.”

  “Then we’ll all find him. Together.” Preston always sounded so confident.

  “We will? We will.” He wiped up with a napkin. Choking always made him feel so suave.

  “We will. I swear to you, Tom. He’s nowhere near lost. He has a mate.”

  “No, I know. I just feel so weird. I want to talk to him and have….” He flushed, ducking his head. “Uh. Never mind.”

  “Sex?”

  “God, yes.” Over and over. In the shower. In the bed. Everywhere.

  “I can see that.” Preston gave him a gentle smile. “It’s part of the mating bond.”

  “Then why won’t he try?” he snapped, then slapped one hand over his mouth. That wasn’t very kind.

  “Hey, stop. No emotion is wrong.” Preston held up a hand to forestall Tanner, whose face was like a thundercloud. “But he needs to know how important it is to you, not just that you’re angry and scared and guilty. And you are his alpha, hmm? His pack. His new family.”

  “His alpha?”

  Tanner laughed. “Oh, Tom, you are so the alpha. You tore that ogre into tiny shreds.”

  “For him.”

  He would have done anything to protect his mate.

  Mate? The whisper filled his mind. Well? You’re well?

  I am. Hello, love. I’m up at the big house. Shall I bring you some cookies?

  Tanner rolled his eyes. “He’s doing the mate speak. Carter and Fallon zone like that all the time.”

  Cookies. The single word was fond, warm.

  Mmm. Coming. “I need to take cookies. What can I have?”

  “Peanut butter, hmm? Glenda made you some.”

  “Oh, thank you.” He beamed. “Both of you. Thank you.”

  “Take more bread too,” Tanner said, filling up a tray. “Do you need more bacon?”

  “You know the way to Nathan’s heart.”

  “I listen.” Tanner loaded him right up before hugging him.

  “I do too. I swear, guys. I listen too.”

  Preston also gave him a hug, patting his back. “I know that, man. Just know there’s no one way to feel, and keep listening.”

  “Psychobabble,” Tanner muttered.

  “Fine. Do you have words of wisdom?” Preston teased.

  “Remind him how good it is both as wolves and men. He’ll remember.” Tanner nodded as if that was that. “Don’t let your mate down. Be the alpha.”

  “Be the bear, right?”

  “Nope. That’s me. Be the bigass wolf.” Tanner waved him off, so he left, taking h
is treats to his love.

  Nathan was outside, rolling in the snow, then shaking himself clean. Bathing.

  Silly beast.

  “Cookies!” He showed Nathan the tray. “Come on and dry off, hmm?”

  Nathan followed him, nostrils flaring, nose in the air.

  Yeah. Someone was addicted to bread, and he knew the peanut butter would be a draw as well. Oh, he needed to order Ed some candy online. Gummi worms, maybe. The very thought made him giggle, and he shared it mentally with Nathan.

  Nathan chuffed softly, the sound warm and so merry.

  “I know! I’ll get them online.” He set the tray aside once they were in the cabin, then moved to get a towel. Nathan needed drying, but he looked so much better. Bright-eyed and cleaner, even if he was still far too skinny.

  Snow bath! Nathan teased.

  Looked fun. It had, in fact, looked fun. Sometimes he was too uptight, and he forgot the pleasures of doing stuff as a wolf. Maybe he needed to stop waiting to be human again every time.

  Nathan nuzzled his leg, leaned against him in greeting.

  “Hey.” He rubbed at that wet, cold ruff. “Oh, right.” He’d just whacked Nathan with the towel. “Sorry, sweet.”

  Nathan nibbled at his fingers, teeth so gentle in his wolf’s kiss.

  Such a lover. He dried Nathan, then tossed the towel off somewhere. Time for cookies and bread.

  Nathan sniffed, scenting the bacon. Oh, sneaky mate.

  “Right? Tanner knew you would love some.” He plopped down on the floor with the tray, starting right now on his resolution to love in the moment.

  Nathan crawled into his lap, tail wagging, ears up. Mate?

  Mmm. Hello. Bacon? Tom lifted the tray, the scents of smoked meat and yeasty bread flooding his senses.

  Nathan bowed, then pushed closer, vocalizing softly, begging a bite.

  He fed Nathan a bite of bacon, then bread. Those low noises made him want to laugh with sheer joy. He just loved Nathan so much.

  Love. Love. Love. Nathan was singing to him, rolling around in his lap, still wet.

  His laugh did burst out. Tom fed Nathan bacon on the bread, then a peanut butter cookie. He ate too, because he was so hungry all of a sudden.

  He smoothed Nathan’s fur, rubbed his ears, loving on his dear one.

  Once the tray was empty, he let the wolf come to him, let it take him over. He forgot his clothes, so he ended up flailing in wolf form, trying to get free of the boots and jeans.

  Nathan tugged and pulled, shaking the clothes with a happy growl.

  The sound of fabric ripping told Tom his shirt was toast, but he let it go, jumping up once he was free to nip at Nathan’s tail.

  Nathan whirled and head-butted him.

  With a mock growl, he pounced, gnawing at the unbroken skin of Nathan’s back, just behind his neck. No hurting, just light and easy. Nathan groaned happily and groomed one of his paws.

  God, he hated it when Tanner and Preston were right.

  Nathan pushed closer, teeth working a knot from his fur, the connection between them like a beacon.

  He began grooming Nathan in return, giving up thinking in favor of feeling. Sometimes a wolf needed to be with his mate.

  Chapter Sixteen

  NATHAN grunted and stretched as long as he could, letting the pops and cracks ease themselves.

  Oh.

  Oh, that felt so good.

  Sun was streaming through the window, landing on him where he lay, and he moaned, ears twitching.

  He searched for Tom’s warmth, rolling over until he found it, snuggling right in. His mate was right there, still in wolf form. Tom seemed to like human more, so this was a sweet surprise.

  So big, such strength. So fine. He began to groom Tom slowly, steadily, sharing their scent.

  Tom groaned for him, a happy sound, and wiggled into a better position. Mmm. Hello, love.

  Love. He stuck his nose in Tom’s soft belly fur and breathed. Comfort was just there, the scent of his mate so good and right.

  He heard Tom’s warm chuffing laughter; then Tom rolled him to his back and held him, licking at his chest and belly. He stretched out tall, offering everything. His pack.

  Yes. Pack. We’re pack.

  Lost my pack. All of them. I am the one who survived.

  You’re here with me. Tom nipped at his throat before letting him go. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. So sorry.

  Regret isn’t for us. They lived in the now.

  No. None of that. Tom chuffed, nosing all along his body.

  That tickled, made him shiver.

  Tom flopped back down next to him. We need more bacon.

  Mmm. Should I go? He could steal some.

  We could go together.

  Together. That worked for him. He hadn’t seen the others in a while.

  Come on. Tom rose, wagging at him, then nudging him when he was too slow.

  He bounded through the snow then, kicking up the white stuff, biting it out of the air. There was a lot of new snow, and it kept coming down, making the world white and silent.

  Nathan slid to a stop before a lady with the weight of stone in her eyes, and he bowed.

  “Oh, God save me from wolves. Come on in, but wipe your feet on the towel I left out for the bear.”

  Nathan nudged under her hand, begging a skritch.

  She laughed, a sound like tectonic plates rubbing together, and rubbed his ears. “Hi, Nathan. Glad to see you out and about. You’re a handsome one.”

  He nuzzled her, danced a little bit in welcome.

  “Silly puppy. Come in. I’ll get you some food.”

  Tom followed him inside, both of them dancing on the huge bath sheet laid out by the door. Tanner was a big bear….

  “Look who’s here! Two of my favorite wolves.”

  Tom went right to Tanner and jumped up on his legs, and the big bear-man hugged Tom happily.

  “I bet you guys are after bacon.”

  Nathan barked, which made Tanner and Tom both jump.

  “Oh, you have a fine voice, Nathan,” Tanner said. “A fine voice.”

  He bowed for Tanner, feeling very loved.

  “Was that the wolves I heard?” The other one—the Preston one—came in, laughter in his voice.

  “It was. They come in search of bacon.”

  “Oh, me too,” Preston said.

  “I need to start raising pigs,” Tanner muttered, and Glenda just laughed.

  “That could get messy.”

  Tanner glared at Preston, but he thought a hint of smile showed through. “Way too messy for a B and B.”

  “Yes.” Preston came to him, knelt down. “You feel better.”

  He did!

  Nathan lifted his chin so Preston could see his neck. The wounds were closing quickly.

  “Oh, very nice. They should disappear, just become scars.”

  Scars. Reminders, but not painful ones…. That was okay.

  Tom came over, nosing at Preston’s hands, Nathan’s fur.

  Mine. Tom’s voice was so sure.

  He bowed to his alpha, nose down.

  “Who wants bacon?” Tanner asked, pulling a pan out of the oven.

  They both barked, wagging hard. Bacon. Goddess, yes.

  “Did someone say bacon?” Ed fluttered in. “Oh, hey, guys. Tanner, I took those crickets up to room three.”

  “Good man.”

  Ed’s fingers dug into his ruff. “Hey, Nathan.”

  He leaned on his friend, admiring the beakiness of him.

  “Come soon and play video games with me? Please?”

  He nosed Ed’s shin. He wouldn’t make promises, but he did love his friend.

  “I’d love it. We can eat popcorn and shoot zombies.”

  He did like popcorn, and video games had been fun…. Oh, bacon. They all got a little distracted when Tanner started handing it out.

  “Lord, that is lovely,” Tanner growled. “Such happy faces.”

  “You just lik
e to be the good host,” Preston said around a piece of bacon.

  “It makes me happy.” Tanner beamed at them all.

  “You’re a good boss.” Ed snapped up another bite.

  “I am.” Tanner’s chest swelled, with pride, he thought. Nathan also thought Tanner looked a little sad under the smile. He did know how that felt, after all.

  Nathan leaned into Tanner’s legs, offering pack, offering love.

  “Thanks, buddy.” Tanner rubbed his head. “One more bite?”

  He panted softly. One more. Please.

  Tanner fed him more bacon. “We need to fatten you up so it’s not just me who’s chunky.”

  He spun, showing off his sleek form.

  Tom jumped and turned, and they both danced and played until Glenda threatened them with a broom. “Out. Out. Go play outside.”

  He streaked out and rolled in the snow like a puppy.

  Tom landed all in his business, snow flying from the force of it.

  He looked up, suddenly aroused, suddenly hungry.

  Ears popping up, Tom turned to look at him, tail stiff.

  He ducked his head, bowing his shoulders.

  Love? Back to the cabin?

  Back. Yes. Back.

  Tom ran, letting him chase. That tail was like a flag now.

  He followed, mesmerized, caught by the sight of his lover, his mate.

  So strong. Such an alpha. He was safe with Tom. Loved.

  Adored. The thought was filled with heat.

  Nathan hurried. He wanted to get back to the cabin where it was private.

  Tom nudged the door open, waiting for him.

  Rushing, he flew into the house, his feet wet, his belly soaked. Oh, he needed his love.

  Tom shook off his fur, growling as he became a human.

  “Nathan. Come to me.” Tom went to the door of the bedroom, then held out a hand.

  He went, breathing hard, knowing what Tom wanted from him, wanting to be able to give it.

  Tom waited for him, smiling a tiny bit but serious as anything as well. “Try for me. I want you.”

  Want you. He wanted Tom, so badly.

  “Then come to me. Let me have you. I would never hurt you, and I promise, I’ll try to make sure no one else will either.” Tom’s eyes mesmerized him.

  Mate. He panted, desperate for his lover, needing to please. He couldn’t look away.