Stand by Me

by S. D. Robertson

  Chloe was intrigued. What was Ben up to that was so secret – and worth paying her twenty pounds?

  As she considered this, lying on top of the green and white striped quilt on her bed, she shut her eyes for a moment.

  Twenty minutes later, the sound of a cat meowing woke her up. It was actually her phone’s notification for receiving a text message. She’d installed the realistic sound for fun; since it had caught out so many people, leading them to look around for a noisy kitty in places like libraries and shops, she’d stuck with it.

  Chloe wondered who it might be. Most of her friends tended to use messaging apps rather than texting, unless they were out of data or had no Wi-Fi.

  The text was from a number she didn’t recognise, which wasn’t saved in her contacts. It read:

  Chloe Adams? Be warned. I’m watching you.

  CHAPTER 10

  NOW

  Saturday, 21 July 2018

  Saying goodnight to Elliot felt almost like travelling back in time to Lisa. It so reminded her of when they were both teenagers, having one last gab at the front door before going their separate ways.

  ‘Thanks for tonight, Lise,’ Elliot said, stepping outside and then turning back to face her. ‘It’s been ace.’

  ‘Not at all. Thank you for coming. I was worried you might not want to after all the drama yesterday.’ She lowered her voice before adding that she hoped Mike, who’d already gone up to bed, had made a better impression this time.

  ‘Listen, I’ve already told you not to worry about last night. He was pissed. It happens. Trust me, it’s nothing I’m not used to after twenty years in Oz. Forget about it. I’ve really enjoyed meeting your family after all this time.’

  Next thing Lisa knew, El was offering to come back tomorrow afternoon to cook for them in return. She told him not to be silly, but he refused to take no for an answer, so eventually she agreed.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ he told her with a smile. ‘My cooking’s improved since you last tasted it.’

  ‘You mean the only time you ever cooked for me?’

  ‘Yes, beans on toast, I believe.’

  She giggled, leaning forward and resting her hands on his shoulders. ‘That’s right. You burned the toast and the beans.’

  ‘Exactly. So it’s not going to be any worse, is it?’ He winked. ‘And if it goes wrong, I can always order us a takeaway, right?’

  He gave her the kind of tight hug that banished all her troubles for a moment, filling her with warmth and hope. Then he set off for his hotel. ‘See you tomorrow.’

  ‘Night, El. What’s that aftershave you’re wearing, by the way? It reminds me of the sea.’

  He shrugged, adding with a grin: ‘I’m not. It must be Eau d’Elliot that you can smell.’

  She remained at the door, shaking her head and smiling, watching her old friend walk down the pavement into the distance and thinking how wonderful it was to see him again. If someone had told her a week ago that this was going to happen, she wouldn’t have believed them. So much time had passed since they’d last seen each other that she’d given up on it ever happening.

  Lisa had been heartbroken when he’d emigrated. Before that she’d always imagined that they would be lifelong friends; that they would visit each other at their respective universities and regularly meet up after graduating, even if they didn’t live in the same place. She’d hoped that as adults they’d get on with each other’s partners, be like honorary aunts and uncles to their respective kids, maybe even take their families on holiday together. It had never occurred to her that Elliot would be drawn to the other side of the world, forcing their lives apart.

  And even after he’d left for Australia, Lisa had persuaded herself that he wouldn’t be gone long: that the pull of home would bring him back before she knew it. This had been her way of dealing with the loss, essentially by burying her head in the sand, although as the years passed and he didn’t return, she had no choice but to accept the truth.

  Funnily enough, Elliot’s absence had actually played a role in bringing her and Mike together. They’d met as teacher-training postgrads and had been good mates for some time before they eventually became a couple. Mike was the first really close male friend she’d had since El had left. He was nothing like him in terms of looks or personality. He was much more of a typical alpha male, for a start, and yet something about the dynamic between them was reminiscent of her relationship with Elliot.

  Part of this was to do with how much fun they had together and how comfortable she felt with him. There were no games; she could just be herself. But it was more than that. It was like their differences were perfectly aligned to complement each other, making for a yin-yang type connection. The same could be said of her and Elliot as kids, although in that case she’d been the dominant one, whereas with Mike, who was a year older, the roles were reversed. Perhaps this explained why the latter friendship had been the one to develop into romance.

  The reason they’d got married so quickly was more prosaic: an unplanned pregnancy while they were both still on the course. Not that they’d ever told Ben he was an accident. Her son knew that she’d been heavily pregnant with him at the time of the wedding, but the official line was that the ceremony had been planned before that.

  Would they have got married eventually anyway, even without the pregnancy? Lisa thought so. They’d been madly, passionately in love ever since their friendship had blossomed into romance. And even now, with Mike stuck in a rut having lost his way career-wise, she still loved him deeply. He wasn’t only the father of her children. He was her husband: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

  That wasn’t to say it was easy at the moment. It was anything but. Just look how badly things had gone between them at the restaurant last night.

  Locking the front door and turning off the lights downstairs, Lisa considered how many family meals had also been ruined by arguments since work had got so messed up for Mike. He’d been very happy in his job as a deputy head teacher. He’d been a natural in the role. The way things had turned sour so quickly, so forcefully, Lisa could totally understand how her husband had been broken by that. But then for everything to go wrong again – for him to screw up so spectacularly in another job, particularly one so beneath his abilities – that was the cruellest blow of all.

  Not that any of this excused Mike’s behaviour in Manchester yesterday. But it did go some way towards explaining it. The big question now was how to help him move forward; to find a new purpose in life. Because no matter how happy Lisa felt at this moment, following a lovely evening with her old friend, she knew the feeling was temporary.

  She was also painfully aware of how everything they’d been through as a family of late had impacted on the kids. She’d seen the worried looks on their faces over some of the more fiery arguments between her and Mike. Lisa did try to shelter them from these things, but it wasn’t always possible when they all lived under one roof, especially when Mike could be so volatile.

  She felt that Ben and Chloe had become more withdrawn at home, sharing less of what was going on in their own lives. She didn’t like that at all. She wanted to be there for them whenever they needed her, and hoped that spending time together while school was out this summer might improve things. If only they’d been able to afford to go on holiday.

  Mike had been in one of his better moods this evening, but Lisa knew from experience how quickly that could change: how fast he could sink into depression. Luckily, he’d been the one to eat humble pie after last night’s catastrophe. She had feared he would take the hump over her throwing the red wine over him and leaving him alone there. But waking up in bed this morning with little to no memory of how he’d got home had been quite the reality check. He knew he’d drunk far too much and he’d apologised profusely for that and his boorish behaviour.

  He’d been tiptoeing around her since then, although she could sense some tension regarding the arrival of El. It probably di
dn’t help Mike knowing, but not remembering, that he’d helped the taxi driver carry him up to bed. But of more significance was the way her old friend had turned up unannounced, totally out of the blue, in great shape, oozing confidence and success.

  Lisa wasn’t stupid. She could see how this might be threatening to her husband, especially in his current circumstances. She hoped he’d be able to deal with it. Elliot probably wouldn’t be around for long, anyway. He’d remained vague about the length of his stay so far, or the exact reason for it, but as fantastic as it was to see him, Lisa couldn’t imagine him having the spare time to be here for more than a few days. Hence she was keen to see as much as possible of him while she could.

  As Lisa trudged upstairs for the night, she felt a wave of tiredness wash over her. When she looked in on Ben and Chloe, they were both fast asleep, or at least doing an excellent job of pretending to be. Mike, on the other hand, was sitting up in bed with his nose in a paperback.

  ‘Still awake?’ she said. ‘I thought you came up because you were tired.’

  Mike shrugged, placing the open thriller novel down on the quilt. ‘Once I was up here I felt like reading.’

  ‘Elliot’s coming over to cook for us tomorrow,’ she said.

  ‘Since when?’

  ‘He offered after you went upstairs, love. He really wanted to do it in return for today. I thought: why not?’

  ‘Nice of you to consult me.’

  ‘Why, is there a problem? Did you have something else planned? If you’d rather do the cooking, then be my guest.’

  Lisa almost added that this would make a refreshing change, but she bit her tongue. They’d already had plenty of rows about the amount that Mike did around the house; she was far too wiped out for another of those now. Instead she went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

  When she returned, Mike put his book down again and eyed her quizzically without saying anything.

  ‘What?’ she asked eventually.

  ‘Oh, nothing,’ he replied.

  ‘Well, it clearly is something. Spit it out.’

  And so he did, although it wasn’t what she was expecting.

  ‘I was just wondering if Elliot was, um, gay.’

  ‘What? Where did that come from?’

  ‘I don’t know. The way he carries himself, I suppose. And the fact you two were such good friends growing up.’

  ‘You thought I was his fag hag?’

  ‘Sorry, his what?’

  Lisa couldn’t help but laugh. ‘It’s a slang expression for a woman who enjoys hanging out with gay guys. You’ve seriously never heard of that?’

  He shrugged. ‘Not that I recall.’

  Mike definitely wouldn’t be the first person to think that Elliot was gay. He’d always been in touch with his feminine side. Part of it was probably down to his close relationship with Wendy and the lack of a father figure growing up. But she’d only ever known him to be attracted to girls.

  Bizarrely, Mike said his gay theory was also related to the fact that Lisa often abbreviated her friend’s name to El, confessing that he’d originally thought he was a girl because of this.

  ‘I remember you talking about the close friend you had growing up,’ he said. ‘But I always assumed it was Elle, as in the girl’s name. Not a shortened form of Elliot.’

  Lisa found this a little hard to believe, suggesting Mike hadn’t listened too closely to any of her stories about the two of them. She also wondered why exactly that had led to her husband concluding he must be gay. But it reminded her of Elliot’s recent comment about the nickname – giving her the impression he’d never liked it – so she made a mental note to try to use his full name more often.

  ‘So is he gay or not?’ Mike asked.

  ‘No, he’s not.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘But there was never anything romantic between us, if that’s what you’re getting at. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible for members of the opposite sex just to be good friends. El and I are living proof of that.’

  What Lisa didn’t tell Mike was that she remembered how Elliot used to stare at her when he thought she wasn’t looking, especially in their early teens, when hormones were all over the place. He’d even kissed her once when he’d got drunk at that crazy party when they were sixteen. It hadn’t meant anything, though, so why give Mike something to be needlessly jealous about? There really hadn’t ever been anything romantic between them. And yet as she thought this, a mental picture formed of the all-new Elliot: handsome, masculine and confident. She wondered how things might have been different if they’d met later in life.

  Mike sighed. ‘That wasn’t why I was asking, Lisa. I was actually thinking that if he was gay, we could talk to him about … oh, never mind.’

  Lisa knew what Mike was getting at. She understood the way he thought. But she didn’t have the energy to go into that with him right now. His heart was in the right place, though, bless him.

  Climbing into bed, she leaned over and gave her husband a kiss goodnight. ‘Sorry, I’m shattered, love. Can we carry on this discussion tomorrow?’

  ‘Sure, I’m wiped out too.’

  As Lisa made herself comfortable, snuggling into a foetal position under the quilt, Mike placed his book on to the bedside table and turned off his lamp.

  A moment later he was cuddling up to her from behind and planting a few tender kisses on her neck. ‘Don’t worry,’ he whispered. ‘I’m not trying to get frisky. I know I still don’t deserve that after yesterday and I doubt either of us has the energy.’

  You’re right there, Lisa thought, although all she actually said was ‘hmm’.

  ‘Can I just say, again, how sorry I am about what happened in the restaurant?’ Mike added. ‘I was horrible to you and, well, there’s no excuse. It might not seem like it sometimes, but I do love you, Lisa … more than anything.’

  ‘Good to know,’ she replied, reaching over with one arm to ruffle his hair and relishing the closeness between them. ‘I love you too.’

  She did love him, with all her heart, which was why she put up with the kind of nonsense he’d pulled yesterday. He was a good man: a kind and loving husband and father. He’d just had a hard time of it recently. Life had dealt him some bad hands. Every day she hoped for some light at the end of the tunnel to help him finally move forward.

  The fact they were going to visit Mike’s Aunt Jenny over in Harrogate on Monday, at his suggestion, was a good example of his caring, family-focused nature. A retired midwife, her husband had died a few years earlier and, since they’d never had children, she didn’t have many family members nearby. They were about the closest. After hearing that she’d suffered a fall and was recovering in hospital, Mike hadn’t hesitated to arrange a visit to cheer her up.

  Lisa had agreed to go too. But Ben and Chloe, who’d only met their great aunt a handful of times, had asked to be excused. Lisa’s inclination had been to bring them along regardless. However, Mike had argued that it was the start of their summer holidays and there was no harm in them staying behind, on the condition they remained together, since Chloe was still too young to be home alone.

  Lisa hadn’t been entirely comfortable with this, particularly since her mum was away on that coach trip around Eastern Europe and their Uncle Jamie would be out at work, meaning no family safety blanket. But she knew she had to let the kids grow up at some point and a hospital visit wouldn’t be much fun for them, so she’d reluctantly agreed.

  As these thoughts swam around Lisa’s head, Mike’s body did the involuntary twitching thing that indicated he was in the process of nodding off. She loosened herself from his grip, suddenly feeling too hot, and he grunted something inaudible before rolling away in the other direction.

  He’d be fast asleep in moments. So why wasn’t she? How could she feel so tired and yet her mind remain so awake?

  The next thought that popped up to bother her was their lack of a family holiday this year. Lisa wished they�
��d been able to afford to go away, but with Mike still not working, it simply wasn’t doable. The other day she’d overheard Chloe’s friend Holly telling her about her family’s planned trip to Sicily, where some family friends apparently owned a house next to the sea. Holly had been moaning – surprise, surprise – about how it would be too hot and she’d rather not go. Chloe had replied by saying: ‘At least you’re going somewhere nice. I checked Sicily out on the Internet and it looks amazeballs: gorgeous beaches and all kinds of awesome food. We’re not going anywhere this year, which totally sucks.’

  When Holly had asked why, Chloe had lied and said it was because they were saving for a really good holiday to Florida the following year, which had broken Lisa’s heart.

  Although she and Mike tried to avoid discussing financial matters in front of the kids, sometimes – often to explain why they couldn’t do things – it was unavoidable. Like when they wanted takeaway when there was plenty of food in the fridge, or when they came home with a letter about an expensive school skiing trip that was never going to happen.

  Money was tight on one salary, something Lisa wished she hadn’t had to teach Ben and Chloe. They also had a better grasp than they ought to of what a tough time Mike had been through, having experienced so much of it alongside him.

  The ordeal had been hard on all four of them. Both of the kids had mentioned being teased at school. Then there was that one awful occasion when they’d been out on a family walk and some horrible man had recognised Mike from the news reports and spat at his feet, calling him a ‘damn disgrace’. Lisa had leapt to his defence, sending the man packing with a torrent of abuse in return. But it was Mike’s behaviour afterwards that was most upsetting. He’d turned deathly pale and barely spoken a word for the rest of the day. He’d looked beaten and broken, which isn’t how any child should have to see one of their parents.

  At least all of that was over now – and had been for some time. But Mike wasn’t over it. Not by any stretch of the imagination, especially in light of his one disastrous attempt at getting back on his feet and doing something else. So where did he go from here? Something had to change, for the good of the whole family. The problem was that Lisa had no idea what that might be. She was well and truly stumped.