DESIRE

by Kailin Gow

  However, as Sarah reached out to hand them their invitation, I could have sworn they both cringed.

  “I’ll see if I can make it,” Jocelyn said.

  I immediately knew it meant she’d do anything to ensure she had something else to do.

  “Me, too,” Matthew added. He carelessly shoved the invitation into his pocket.

  Part of me wanted to question their lack of interest – I thought they were old friends, but I also did not want to dwell on it. I was in a good mood, it was a beautiful day and my birthday was just around the corner. I turned to follow Sarah to the cafeteria, putting them out of my mind.

  “There’s Liam,” Sarah shouted as we entered the cafeteria. “I’ll go grab a slice of pizza and come meet you guys.”

  I stood there for a moment, taking in all of Liam – his blond hair, smooth skin, earnest green eyes, full lips, and his tall muscular physique. Physically, he was beautiful, but everything else about him made me love him more. He’d already taken his seat at the table reserved for the children of Committee workers. I glanced sidelong at the students who watched me make my way to the table I didn’t yet officially belong to. If not for Sarah and Liam, I would not be allowed there.

  “How are you doing, Kama?” Liam rose to give me a quick kiss. “I got you the minestrone soup and turkey sandwich.”

  Ever since he had taken to getting my lunch every day, he never erred. He had a way of knowing what I wanted every day. He knew me so well. “Perfect, just like always.” He was perfect, just as always, and every girl in school knew it.

  Most of the senior class was in love with him, and those who did not love him, envied him. He had everything - looks, power and a personality to warm the coldest heart.

  It was amazing how, out of all the girls he could have chosen, he had chosen to be with me, and I was forever grateful for his love and affection.

  “You spoil me, Liam Seer,” I whispered as I came up close and raked my fingers through his mass of golden curls. How was it possible for a guy to be so devilishly handsome and so positively angelic at the same time? To think he was to one day be Governor of Arcadia, the most powerful person in our state. It was in his Life’s Plan.

  “Your smile, warm kisses and your eternal love are all I ask in return.” His eyes filled with love and he grined a silly grin. “I’ve missed you.”

  Taking my seat, I smiled and glared at him. “Liam, you saw me yesterday.”

  “Yeah, but you ran out on me so fast. I thought you would come back in but you just left.”

  “I know,” I said, looking for a solid explanation. “My head must be in the clouds these days, what with my birthday, Life’s Plan and all that. I’m really sorry.”

  “I thought you would at least call afterwards.”

  “You're right. I really should have. I can’t apologize enough.”

  “You said you owed Tula money, but I didn’t see her outside when you ran out. Are you sure she was really there?”

  I heard a hint of suspicion in his question and didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t possibly tell him of the mysterious man who called to me from across the street, who entered my mind with his thoughts and who disappeared, leaving behind an orchid. Nor could I tell him of how the entire episode left me feeling.

  My heart had raced the whole way home. I had been completely unaware of my surroundings as I strolled down Main Street, and had only managed to find my way home on auto-pilot. My mind had been filled with the image of his face and the strong sense of… of what? Attraction? Desire? It was crazy. I was in love with Liam.

  But I hated keeping this from Liam. We’d been best friends for so long and had shared so many secrets, it felt unnatural, a betrayal, not to tell him. The only secret he had ever kept from me over the years was his growing love. By the time he finally asked me out two years earlier, he’d been harboring strong emotions for three whole years.

  He was quiet for a long moment. His hand reached for his sandwich, but his gaze was focused somewhere in the distance. I watched his Adam’s apple rise and fall a few times before he finally turned to look me in the eye.

  “I’ve known you for ages, Kama. I know you inside and out. You didn’t go out there to see Tula. You’re careful with your money and you never borrow money from anyone. So what did you go out there for? What did you see?”

  I kissed him, partly to reassure him of my love for him, partly to buy me a moment of time to find a suitable answer. My lips lingered over his and I felt him relax. “I’m going to be turning 18 in a few days. I’ve been a wreck as I try to imagine what my Life’s Plan could be. I’m scared. What if it’s not what I desire? What if I’m one of those who don’t get the plan they want? What if you’re not in it?”

  “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Listening to Sarah and her perfect plan, just the way she wanted it… I was happy for her, I really was, but it made me realize just how devastated I’ll be if my plan doesn’t turn out to be what I desire.”

  “Kama, you’re worrying over nothing.”

  “You don’t know that. Nobody does.” I looked at the steam that rose from my bowl of soup. “I just couldn’t stand being in there hearing about Sarah’s plan another minute. I know it sounds selfish, but I am worried, Liam.”

  “Look at me,” he said as he took a firm grip of my jaw and turned me to face him. “I’ll do all that I can to make sure you get exactly what you want. After all, what you want is what I want.”

  “I know you have a certain degree of power, Liam. But even with the Governor as your father, you can’t dictate to the Committee what they chose and for whom. It’s a lot bigger than that. They’ve studied and tested and studied again to make sure they give everyone the perfect plan for them. You can maybe make a suggestion or two, but you can’t change the course of their plans.”

  “There are always exceptions, and you and I are one of them. Our plans have to include one another. Everyone says so. If that Committee doesn’t have me in your Life’s Plan, the whole city will be on their back.” He chuckled in that reassuring, boyish way he had, then looked at me, his eyes set in a dead serious stare. “Besides, I love you, and nobody can change that.”

  “I love you, too, Liam.” I couldn’t help but grin. He was so adorable and he had a way of always making everything bright. Forgetting all about my lunch, I leaned in to kiss him, my lips forceful and possessive over his.

  He returned the kiss, quickly becoming passionate and heated. I had to pull back before we were thrown out of the cafeteria for indecency.

  “Come over tonight, Kama,” he said, his voice suddenly throaty and deep. “Come home with me tonight. I need to spend some time with you, alone.”

  I hushed his lips with the tip of my finger. “You know we can’t, Liam… not until we’re…”

  His face hardened, not with anger but with hunger and concern. “What if you're right?”

  “Right about what?”

  “Your Life’s Plan… What if I’m not a part of it?”

  “You just told me not to worry…”

  “I know what I said, but what if I’m wrong. What if the Committee decides we can’t be together? The day you turn 18 they won’t allow us to see each other anymore. I can’t bear the thought. I want to be with you all the time, Kama… all the time. I’m already going nuts spending my nights without you. The thought of never holding you in my arms…”

  “Okay,” I whispered as though fearing the Committee was already watching us. “You know I can’t turn you down.”

  His smile cracked his face in a way that made me love him all the more. As luscious and dreamy as he was when he was dead serious, he was heavenly and irresistible when he smiled. I’d gladly give him the world.

  “I’ll pass by to pick you up after dinner.”

  He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in for a passionate embrace. His lips were hot over mine and as he slipped his tongue in to taste me, I felt a jolt of pleasure soar through my body. The
anticipation for the night to come, grew.

  “Liam,” I muttered through his lips. “Everyone is gaping.”

  “I don’t care,” he said, pulling me closer. “I don’t care.”

  Chapter 2

  The afternoon seemed to drag on, as if time itself was trying to keep me from Liam’s arms. I wanted to be with him, to hold him and to get as close as possible to him. When the last class finally came to an end, I rushed home, my heart pounding with excitement a lot more than usual. With my approaching birthday, Liam and I can both feel the increased urgency to be together.

  My afternoon chores were done by way of sheer habit, my mind completely flowing to a few hours ahead when I would be with Liam in a way I had never been before. As I folded the last of the laundry, I thought of what I would wear. Should it be something simple and innocent, or should I go for something more revealing, provocative and sexy?

  The answer fell into my hands in the way of a flowing and feminine lavender blouse I had recently bought. Lightly translucent, it offered peeps and peeks here and there without being too revealing. With my nice grey slacks that were just snug enough around the hips, Liam would be dazzled.

  With a pile of clothes in one hand and the cherished blouse on a hanger in the other hand, I hurried to my room to put everything away then raced back to the kitchen to prepare dinner for my mom.

  She worked so hard and I knew she deserved a special dinner every night. Tonight would not be anything too fancy or time consuming. My mind and heart just were not in it. So a quick and easy spaghetti and tomato sauce were in order.

  While the sauce heated then bubbled, I concentrated on my homework, or at least tried to. Images of Liam, his muscular and strong torso bared for me to see, to touch. I’d seen him in his swimming trunks many times, but this would be an entirely different scenario. His chest would be bared exclusively for me and in a context worlds apart from the beach or pool.

  The sentences on the page before me blurred as I imagine feeling his hands all over me, touching me in places I’d never been touched. As customary to Arcadian law, we were to wait until we were at least of age before couples can be together. We had waited so long, and now I was to be of age.

  “Kama, Mama’s home.”

  My face must have flushed beet red. Just to be thinking of Liam in such a way and have my mom walk in… it felt like an intrusion.

  “How was your day, sweetie?”

  “Great. Perfect.” I smiled and gathered my books. “Sarah helped me pass out my invitations and everyone is eager to come. Well, all except two.”

  “That’s a surprise. Who on earth would refuse you? You're to be a woman of great standing. Marrying the future Governor of Arcadia is nothing to snub your nose at.”

  “Well, either they were not impressed with that or they don’t believe it’ll be part of my Life’s Plan.”

  “Either way, Honey.” She came up to me and grabbed my cheeks the way she so often did when she had a lesson to transmit. “Don’t be in too much of a rush to marry that future governor of yours. Regardless of how good and great a man Liam may be, take the time to discover who you are before you become Mrs. Governor. Marriage is hard, serious and complicated sometimes. It’s not all wine and roses.”

  “Is that why you never married my father?”

  She released my cheeks and turned to stir the tomato sauce. “I should’ve seen that coming.”

  Seeing the sadness cross her face, I regretted the question I’d slipped out before I could catch it. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it.”

  “No,” she said, her eyes still on the sauce.

  I could have sworn I saw tears welling up in her eyes and hated myself for bringing up such a painful topic.

  “I know it’s always bothered you, not knowing who your father was. When you were little I didn’t think it mattered. So long as I was there, you’d be fine, but I realize now how much you’ve missed his presence. I wish things could have been different.” She turned to me, sad, but with a hint of joy as she reminisced. “We loved each other so much, desperately, but it was forbidden for us to marry. Being from the two extremities of society, it was frowned upon.”

  I wanted so desperately to know more about my father. Over the years I’d wanted to ask about him, but the mere mention of him was enough to set a grim line to her lips, much as it had now, so I never pressed for more. I didn’t even know what he looked like, what his name was. It had always been a mystery to me.

  The doorbell rang, slicing into the tension that had quickly become unbearable. I hated seeing her like this, but I also hated how thoughts of my father left me feeling so empty. A huge part of my life was missing and, while I never let on, it did affect me.

  “The tomato sauce is ready. All I have to do is drop the spaghetti in the pot of boiling water and you're set, Mom.”

  “I’m set? And where are you off to? Who’s that at the door?”

  Vigilant, attentive and always needing to know what I was up to, she was a cool and understanding mother. I knew she wanted what was best for me, partly why she had brought me to Arcadia to begin with.

  The perfect little town that produced perfect little people who lived out their perfect little lives.

  “It’s Liam, Mom,” I called over my shoulder as I headed to the front door. My hand was slightly shaky as it turned the knob to open the door.

  “Hey, Kama,” Liam whispered, his voice husky. “Ready?”

  “Yeah, come in. I’ll just go get my purse.”

  I left him at the door just as my mother arrived to greet him.

  “Liam, how nice to see you.”

  “You’re looking as lovely as ever, Miss Johnson.”

  “Forever the sweet charmer, just like your father. And how is Pim?”

  “Busy, but that’s the way he likes things. Working makes him happy.”

  “I’ve noticed. I haven’t seen him in a while, but I should soon at one of the next meetings.”

  “I’m ready,” I chimed as I glided down the stairs and grabbed Liam’s arm. “I won’t be back late, Mom. We’ll study a bit, look over the last minute details for my birthday party, and Liam will have me home at a respectable hour.”

  “Promise,” Liam added.

  “I’m not at all worried,” Mom said as she waved us away. “If there’s anyone I trust my daughter with, it’s you. Plus it’s just a matter of months, perhaps after graduation that we would be planning a wedding.”

  I rushed to her to kiss her cheek and hurried out, eager to get my evening with Liam started. Like the true gentleman he was, he opened the car door and closed it behind me. I loved the smell of his new car, a masculine, sleek and racy black Porsche, elegant and sleek. The rich leather interior wrapped around me like a warm blanket and the lingering scent of Liam’s cologne thrilled my senses.

  “We’re going to have to keep our eyes on them,” Liam said the moment he got into his seat.

  “Who?”

  “Our parents.” He started the car and drove off. “Don’t you think it’s going to be a bit weird once we’re married? Your mom and my dad are kinda going to be family.”

  “Yeah, and they’ll be seeing each other all the time. Your father can barely keep his hands off her now, he’ll go nuts. They’re not even dating, but he’s definitely been trying to make the moves on her. It’s cute watching them together.”

  “I can certainly understand why. Your mother is a knock out. You don’t have to look far to see where you get your looks. You’ve both got that blond hair with that unusual highlight of violet, mesmerizing hazel eyes and a soul that would make any man’s heart turn to jelly. Dad refers to your mother as the one who got away.”

  “You're so cute.”

  “I can’t wait for the day when we can be together always.” His voice had lost its cute edge and had turned hungry. “I don’t want to end up like my father, regretting never having married his true love. He loved my mother, yes, but he had always loved your moth
er since childhood.” He turned serious. “I hate watching you walk in the other direction after school. I hate that you're not there the moment I open my eyes. I’ve been waiting for years for us to officially be together. I don’t know if I can wait until the day we’re married.”

  “I know you're a patient man, Liam.”

  We came to a red light and he leaned in close once the car stopped. His eyes stared deep inside me, touching my heart and warming me all over. “I’m not that patient.”

  I laughed and playfully slapped his chest, just as the car behind us honked his own impatience. “Drive on, loverboy.”

  “You have no idea how impatient I’ve become, Kama. It’s like you're all I think about. Since turning 18, I’ve realized you’re the one thing I truly wanted in my Life’s Plan. And with your 18th birthday approaching… you have no idea what it does to me to know that the day is finally around the corner where we can finally get engaged and start a life together.” He leaned over, put his hand to my knee and kissed me, the passion strong and undeniable.

  We swerved and he pulled away.

  “Keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road.” I had to laugh, keeping a cool head as he brought the car back under control. I’d never seen him this agitated.

  After a few twists and turns through the calm and quiet streets of Arcadia we entered the Diamond District. The Governor’s Manor was the huge estate at the top of the hill, overlooking the city below.

  Just as the car pulled up to the walled-in grounds, the heavy, wrought iron gate eased open and we entered. It was a magnificent home to behold. Elegant, with its columns, ornate trim, huge windows, and of course, the lavish and forever blooming gardens filled with begonias and roses, the home was also warm and welcoming.

  The tree-lined drive ended in a loop just before the main entrance. He slid in behind the silver Mercedes and got out to open my door.

  I felt like a princess and loved every moment of it. He had a great way of treating me, of making me feel important in his life, and I loved him all the more for it.