DESIRE

by Kailin Gow

  He smiled and I felt the wave of warmth and love spread over the room.

  “These past years, my love for him has grown, as well as my admiration and respect. I want nothing more than to share my life with him, grow old with him and share in the duties that will one day come to him as Governor.”

  I turned to Dr. Reynolds. “I’m smart. I’m articulate. I’m diplomatic and pragmatic. My place here at the Committee would not be that of a simple ornament on my husband’s arm, but a truly valuable role that I would take seriously.”

  “And what would you change here in Arcadia?”

  “Whatever needed change. I want what’s best for the city and its people. I want to uphold the tradition of peaceful harmony, tranquil neighborhoods, pleasant festivities and the overall beauty of the city.”

  Dr. Reynolds nodded and hesitated before speaking. “I apologize, Ms. Johnson. It is rare that a glitch of this magnitude occurs in the Life’s Plan we so diligently put together. It’s obvious the love you and Liam have for one another and it’s clear to anyone and everyone that you're meant to be together.” She turned to Pim and whispered into his ear.

  Pim nodded repeatedly, glanced at Liam then back at the papers before him. As he continued to listen to Dr. Reynolds, he looked up at me, his eyes questioning and unsure.

  I doubled my barriers around my private thoughts again and smiled sweetly at him.

  After more whispering, Pim shuffled the sheets of paper that represented my life, stacked them neatly in a pile and dropped them into a file. After a brief glance and nod at all the members around the table, he stood. “The Committee has requested time to deliberate. We’ll look over all the information we have in addition to the statements made here today.”

  Befuddled, I nodded and stood.

  “It should only take a few moments.” Pim led the way into the large antechamber to the left of the grand office and the twelve Committee members solemnly followed suit.

  The moment the door closed behind them, Liam was at my side, my hand enveloped in his and his lips pressing to my temple. “You were great, Kama. You said exactly what was in your heart and they saw it. They can’t deny you your rightful Life’s Plan now.”

  “I was so nervous. All those eyes… all those people looking at me, so expectantly.”

  “I love you, Kama,” he whispered into my ear. “I love you so much, and I can’t wait to start my life with you.”

  Sarah approached, apprehensive and unsure of the intimate moment she was intruding upon. I smiled, inviting her to join us.

  “You were so incredibly brave, Kama. I don’t know how you did it. No one has ever stood up to the Committee and insisted a change be made in a Life’s Plan. The gall you had to confront them and tell them what you truly desire… They all seemed eager to watch you fail, to see you falter and run away like a little girl. You sure showed them.”

  I pressed my lips together in an attempt to smile at her praise, but I felt the tension surrounding my mouth, tension from the heaviness in my heart. In my periphery, I saw my mother, sitting quietly at the far end of the room, but I could feel her, feel her questions and doubt.

  Patting Liam’s hand with adequate affection and giving Sarah a forced but friendly enough wink, I walked away from them and came to my mother’s side.

  “Aren’t you proud of me, too?” I spoke softly, sensing her desire to have a private moment with me.

  “I’m always proud of you, honey.” Her gaze was distant a moment. When she turned to me, I saw the depths of concern and fear in her eyes. “But you're not being true to yourself. I have no doubt you’re truly fond of Liam, but I know you. I know your heart has drifted away and I know it is Torrid who has captured your heart in a way Liam never could.”

  “Mom,” I gasped, glancing sidelong at Liam.

  “I’m sorry, Kama.” She clasped my hand in hers. “I know this is your life and you’ll do as you choose, but I can’t sit by and watch you throw your life away without at least giving you a word of caution.”

  “Throw my life away?”

  “You know very well where your marriage to Liam will lead. I know of the plans your father has for you. I know of the role you're to play in this marriage, in the Governor’s mansion. The direction you're choosing will affect everyone here in Arcadia as well as the Magical Ones still in the Nethers. You will be shattering the dreams of thousands of people, Kama. You’ll be shattering the hopes and dreams of Liam. Have you thought of that?”

  “Yes, I have.”

  “Your father has set you on a path of destruction. You're to start a revolution, Kama,” she said in a loud whisper. She regained control and lowered her voice. “Is that really what you want?”

  “I want to do what I can to save the Magical Ones. I want to do what’s right, Mom.”

  “Arcadia will once again find itself in the grips of a war, a long, deadly and bloody war. I’ve seen what war can do to a state, to a people. It’s devastating, Kama. It’s devastating and it scars you for life.”

  I turned away, blinking desperately at the tears that threatened to stream down my face. This was supposed to be a happy day; a day in which I finally started living my dream, my destiny. I didn’t need the added weight of guilt. How was I going to bear the weight of two worlds on my shoulders?

  “Have you thought how this will affect me, Kama?” Mom went on. “Arcadia has known peace for almost twenty years. I like my life here. I like my home, my neighbors, and my work. The revolution you intend to start will destroy all that.”

  Her hand was tight and clammy around mine, her fingers fidgeting. “I lived through one war. I survived the devastation.” A sad gurgling sound came to her voice as she continued. “I don’t know if I can survive another one, Kama.”

  I inhaled deeply, fighting to control the sob that wanted to rip from my lungs. “You never spoke to me of my heritage, of where I come from, who my father is. I was thrust into adulthood without a Life’s Plan. I learned who my father was. I learned who I was. All of this within a matter of months from someone else, practically a stranger. You should have told me. And now I’ve had to make the biggest, most important decision of my life, all based on what I’ve learned since turning 18.”

  I turned to her, the heat of my tears burning my eyes. I knew she loved me and was proud of me, despite my decision. “I love you, Mom, but I have to do this.”

  The crack of a door and the gentle shuffle of tired feet brought our attention to the Committee members who entered the room.

  “They’re ready,” Sarah whispered as she came to us.

  I nodded and released my mother, my tears convincingly in check. With my head held high, I returned to my chair.

  The members found their respective chairs, sat and looked expectantly at Dr. Reynolds.

  With a self-satisfied grin on her otherwise grim face, the doctor stood and looked directly at me. I could hardly breathe, the pressure was so suffocating.

  Liam remained at my side and pressed his hand encouragingly to my shoulder.

  “We’ve all come to the agreement that a problem has indeed occurred with your Life’s Plan. While we can’t exactly pinpoint how this error, glitch or mistake happened, we all agreed your Life’s Plan should be remitted to you as it originally appeared prior to this glitch. That is to say, you’ll graduate with honors, enroll in college, get engaged to Liam and subsequently marry him. Soon after, you’ll join the Committee. However, there is one modification.”

  “What… what modification?” I asked through a tightly clenched jaw.

  “You were originally slated to work as a behaviorist.”

  “Oh,” I said in a tone devoid of all interest.

  “We’ve altered that in order to have you work as a statistician.”

  At first glance, I couldn’t see what difference that would really make. I was not particular about the department I worked in, so long as I was with Liam and working within the Committee.

  “This will require advanced t
raining, training that is to begin immediately… before you graduate.”

  It seemed unnecessarily hasty on their part, but I didn’t argue.

  “You’ll train with Dr. Sanz.”

  The room suddenly began swimming in circles around me. So this was the slap in the face I was waiting for. Dr. Sanz… the man Torrid warned me about.

  The diminutive doctor grinned and nodded my way.

  I felt the blood drain from my face and fought the urge to shake my head in denial.

  “He will guide you; take you under his wing,” Dr. Reynolds went on.

  Dr. Sanz rose and walked around the table, stopping to hand something to Pim before returning to his seat.

  I saw the quizzical look on Pim Seer’s face, but he didn’t question the doctor.

  Chapter 21

  Governor Seer rose, his face solemn, his fists clenched. He walked around the large oval table, his heels echoing in the silence. As he came around the table, a political smile came to his lips.

  “I’ve been entrusted, as future father-in-law, with the pleasurable task of presenting you with a gift.”

  I shot a quick glance at my mother and gripped the chair’s armrest more avidly than I’d wanted to, but every nerve in my body shouted for me to run, to escape. Though I was reluctant to look directly at him, I could feel Liam’s encouraging grin as he looked down at me.

  “On behalf of the entire Committee,” Pim said. “I would like to congratulate you on the upcoming nuptials. I could not be prouder.” He handed a small box to Liam.

  “This means a lot to us, Dad,” Liam said, his tone quiet and private as he accepted the gift.

  “This gift will also secure your role as statistician. It is a symbol of the high esteem the people of Arcadia hold of you and your mother.”

  Liam proudly held up the box for all to see, and I held my breath.

  “Would you do the honors, son?” Pim instructed.

  With love shining in his eyes, Liam pried open the tiny box. His eyes glazed with reverence and respect as he gazed upon the object in the box.

  As I looked up trying to see the contents of the box, my throat constricted, keeping me from swallowing. The pain, the fear, the anticipation left beads of sweat on my brow and a chill down my back.

  Liam reached for the item and lifted it from its resting place. The room was filled with a hush of awe, except for the audible gasp from my mother. Feeling increasingly frantic, I leaned away, trying to find a vantage point that would offer me a view of this gift.

  “No!” The shout came from the other end of the room where my mother sat.

  Just as I heard her cry I saw the gift the Committee had chosen to bestow on me. A leather band, the same kind the Magical Ones wore. Liam leaned over me and reached for my hand, but I scrambled back, shoving my chair to the floor as I got to my feet.

  “Kama, what’s the matter?” Liam held the leather band as though it was a valuable piece of jewelry. “This is just a token of the Committee’s appreciation.”

  “I don’t want it,” I screeched.

  “Kama, you're making a big deal out of nothing. Everyone in the Committee wears one. You should be proud of the honor this means.” He seemed so genuinely sincere, so completely unaware what that tiny leather band really meant. Could he be that naïve? Could the son of the Governor be so completely in the dark as to how the city was truly run?

  He took a step closer and I backed away.

  “Liam, please, don’t make me wear that.”

  His features darkened with impatience. “Kama, I went through a lot of trouble to get you here today. I’ve harassed my father for months now in order to convince him to have your Life’s Plan altered. Now that we’re here, now that they’ve given you what you want, you refuse to accept their token of appreciation?” He rushed forward and grabbed my hand, his free hand holding the leather band up.

  Before I truly realized what I was doing, I gathered my mental thoughts together as tightly and strongly as I could, ripping the thin leather band from Liam’s hand and sending it flying through the air where it landed at a Committee member’s feet.

  Liam stared at me. “What did you just do?”

  I shook my head, regretting how he’d had to learn of who I really was. “I’m sorry, Liam.”

  “Are you…?”

  “I wanted to tell you, Liam. I’ve just learned of it recently myself, and with everything that’s been…”

  “You're a…”

  “She’s one of us,” Dr. Sanz said in a monotone voice. He came around the table, his eyes betraying his anger as he reached down to retrieve the discarded leather band. “She must be confined. We must keep her under control. She must wear the leather band.”

  His march to catch me was halted by Pim’s booming voice. “She is Janice Johnson’s daughter. I will not have her imprisoned.”

  “With all due respect, Governor, she poses a possible…”

  “I said I will not have her imprisoned, and there is no need for that band. I’ll personally ensure she does not abuse her powers.” Pim stood between Dr. Sanz and me. “She probably doesn’t know about her powers anyway.”

  “Really?” Dr. Sanz’s tone was heavy with bitterness. He pointed to the leather band on the floor. “And what do you call that?”

  All eyes turned to Pim.

  He looked to his son, his gaze sad and remorseful.

  “No, Dad. Don’t do this.” Liam eyes widened as the significance of the leather band dawned on him.

  “I have no choice, son.” Pim put his hand out to Dr. Sanz who grinned with satisfaction as he handed him the leather band. “She used her magical powers. I can’t ignore that.”

  “She’s to be my wife, Dad. I won’t have you confining her and controlling her. I don’t care what kind of strange powers she might have, she’s still the woman I love, the woman I plan to marry. You're the Governor. You can ensure she’s treated with dignity and respect.”

  “My powers here are limited,” Pim said, his tone sad and small. “The Committee makes the majority of the decisions and I simply put them into place.”

  Liam grabbed my arm and pulled me away from his approaching father. “I won’t let you. I’d rather run away, be ostracized, banished, anything but live in your truth.”

  His grip was tight and determined as he backed away to the office door and led me out into the corridors of the capitol.

  “Come on,” he said, quickening his pace.

  I struggled to keep up with him, expecting a Committee member to grab me at any moment and drag me back. But no one came after us, no one gave chase.

  When Liam pushed the massive front doors open, I felt free. We’d escaped, but the taste of freedom was short-lived. The morning sky was aglow with rays of violet, lavender and deep purple pierced with streaks of black and pink.

  The revolution had already begun.

  Epilogue

  The blue sky I’d always known was no longer. Not a single white billowing puff of cloud offered shade from the sun. The sky was now something strange, yet I found familiarity, remembering the sky of Torrid’s world.

  “What’s going on?” Liam came to a sudden stop, scanning the horizon.

  On the grounds of the capital, near a blossoming magnolia, Torrid stood, majestic and regal in full armor. His gaze met mine.

  Kama, my love.

  I fought the urge to run to him, to escape this lunacy.

  I’ve convinced General Adon to change his plans. He agreed the sacrifice was too great.

  “My God.”

  I heard Liam’s plaintive voice through the haze of Torrid’s love.

  “It’s true,” Liam murmured in disbelief.

  My breath caught in my throat as I heard his heart breaking. I looked up at him, wanting desperately to erase that look of heartache.

  “Liam, I never thought…”

  “For months I’ve heard the rumors. For months everyone’s been saying something had happened to make your Life’s Plan
change so drastically, so suddenly.” He turned to Torrid. “He’s what happened.”

  With eyes locked on Liam, like a panther to his prey, Torrid approached, slow, steady and fearless. I felt torn, my heart and soul wanting to disappear on the wind with Torrid, but my heart, the little girl who’d first fallen in love with Liam, the little girl with the big dream, wanted to wipe the tears that welled in Liam’s eyes. She wanted to soothe his pain.

  I stood motionless, my breath clinging to my lungs as Torrid took the last step up the stairs and reached for my hand.

  “What do you think you're doing?” Liam spat. He yanked me back and stepped between us.

  Torrid grinned with a complete lack of humor. “Since you insist, Kama needs to be protected. I have to bring her to a safe place before battle begins.”

  “Battle?” Liam and I cried.

  “General Adon is set to arrive shortly. The moment he does, every Catcher in Arcadia will wish they’d never set foot on this earth.”

  Liam stiffened beside me. “But, my father is a Catcher. Why would this general want…?”

  “What do you think he catches? Butterflies?”

  I shot Torrid a scolding glare, but his wrath couldn’t be contained.

  “Your father catches genies,” Torrid said. “Djinns, Magical Ones. He catches people like the very woman he wanted you to marry.”

  “No.”

  “I’m sorry, Liam, but it’s true,” I said, trying to soften Torrid’s harsh words.

  “I never knew, Kama. I swear I didn’t know. He’s always kept this part of his life private.”

  “Kama, we have to hurry,” Torrid cut in, unmoved by Liam’s ignorance. “We have to get you out of here. The force field has weakened just enough to allow a few to go through. General Adon wants you out of here and at his side.”

  The doors behind us opened and the heavy sound of footsteps thundered on the cement as Catchers came out, led by Pim.

  Torrid tore me from Liam’s grip and pulled me into his arms.

  “Well, well,” Pim said with satisfaction. He held a genie’s lamp, lavender mist seeping out in fumes. “You ended up having a purpose after all, my lovely Kama.”