1 Straight to Hell
Page 19
I’d thought I’d done as much as I could to hurt him, but my demon nudged me again. There was more. I was beyond resisting it. I’d come this far, and there was no sense turning back now.
I didn’t need my succubus to whisper the next part of the plan. I knew what I had to do without being told. I took Tommy’s face in my hands and gently turned it towards me. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” I said. “But you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you.” I kissed him. He resisted, but only for a moment. The horror of what he’d seen combined with my demon’s charms had worn him down. When I led him upstairs to my bedroom, he followed.
I’m too ashamed of my actions to give any details about the sex. What I did was dirty enough without exploiting it further.
But I will say this: it was a completely joyless coupling. I, or rather my demon, feigned passion quite well, but there was no pleasure, no release, no comfort. Like the hell I had created, there was nothing.
When I lay next to him, my head on his shoulder, my demon went to work to fan the spark of his puppy-dog affection for me into something stronger and hotter until Tommy was passionately in love with me.
He never noticed when Jasmine had opened the bedroom door. But I watched with cold-eyed indifference as my stepsister’s expression went from confusion to shock to grief. I swear I could hear the sound as her heart broke. To my demon ears, it was like a chorus of angels singing. She never said a word, but only shut the door. A few minutes later, I heard her lugging heavy objects from the basement followed by the slam the back door.
When Tommy fell asleep, I went down to the kitchen. As I expected, Miss Spry was waiting. “Well done, my dear.”
Fuck you, I thought, but kept my mouth shut. Instead, I made a pot of coffee.
“Destroying young Tommy’s confidence in the otherworld was good,” she continued, “but breaking his vow of celibacy and destroying your sister…well, that was genius. Sarah Goodswain herself would have been very proud.”
Well then, fuck her, too, I thought.
“I know you’re upset, but it will pass, I promise.” Now that she’d gotten what she’d wanted, Miss Spry was all hearts and flowers. “And to help you, I’ve brought a gift.” She placed an envelope on the table.
I glared at her. “Just bring Grace back.”
Miss Spry smiled cunningly. “I already did.”
At that moment, I heard Ari and Grace shouting over who got the bathroom first. Never in my life had I heard anything more beautiful. I pressed my hand against my trembling lower lip. “Now get the hell out of my house.”
She did, and at that moment, both girls ran into the kitchen demanding breakfast. “I want pancakes,” Ari said.
“No, French toast,” Grace whined.
I went to the table and picked up the envelop Miss Spry had left. The insurance company’s logo was on the front. With shaking hands, I opened it and removed the check. It was a thousand times more than what I’d been expecting. With it, I could not only restore my old house, I could also pay off all of my bills and still have enough left over to make a trip around the world.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” I told them. I couldn’t bear to be in that kitchen a moment longer.
Grace clapped her hands. “Cool! Should I tell Jas?”
I couldn’t draw my eyes away from those numbers on the check. “Don’t bother. Jas has decided to move out.”
There was a stunned moment of silence as the girls worked through this. Then Ari said, “Can I have her room in the basement?”
Chapter Fifteen
I waited until Ariel had moved her things into the basement before I confronted her about the man with the white hair who’d been following her. The basement was the perfect place to talk since there was only one exit, and I could easily block it and keep her from escaping.
She seemed to sense my tactical advantage the moment I closed the door behind me. She sat on her bed, giving me her best I-don’t-care-what-you-say-I’m-not-talking look.
“About the other day,” I said. “I’ve talked to Mr. Matthias at your school, and told him you will go to the library every lunch hour since you can’t be trusted to stay on the playground without running away.” It was a clever solution, if I did say so myself. It would keep Ari under the watchful eye of the librarian who ate her lunch in her office.
I’d thought Ariel be furious with me, but she met her fate with a nod of resignation. “Okay. It’s better than the playground, I guess. At least it will be quiet.”
“Really?” I was amazed. Ari scorns books unless they can teach her something useful like how to build a bomb out of a bag of fertilizer.
“I hate the playground just like I hate school. It’s so noisy and crowded and there’s always kids in your face.” She gave an adult sigh. “I need to be alone for a while, that’s all. It takes the edge off.”
I suppressed a smile. “So that’s why you went for a walk every day?”
She nodded. “Sometimes I can’t deal with the stress, you know?”
“I know.” I sat next to her on the bed. “But I really wish you would have said something about that man who was following you. If not to me, then to some other safe adult.”
Her back stiffened, and she remained silent. And then I understood. To Ariel’s way of thinking, there were no safe adults.
“You can’t do everything on your own, Ari. It’s okay to accept help. That doesn’t make you weak.”
Her eyes were swimming with tears that she angrily scrubbed away.
“You may not believe me, but I love you. I really, truly do. And it scared me so much when I saw that man trying to hurt you.” I put my arm around her, expecting her to pull away. But to my relief, she didn’t. In fact, she moved in closer.
“I hated that fucking bastard,” she said.
“Me, too.” I’d called the police on him, of course. Alan had also promised to warn every parent at the school about the danger. I had a strong feeling, however, that the white-haired man in the battered car would sense that he was being watched and disappear. And I also suspected that it would only be a matter of time before he reappeared somewhere else.
“So,” I said, “do we have a deal? You’ll tell me when you need help.”
She glowered. But a moment later, sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Whatever.”
I kissed Ari’s head and went to the door.
“Auntie Lil?”
I turned around. My niece was keeping her head down, pretending to study her chipped, black nail polish. “Thanks. For everything.”
Ari might have thanked me, but she was wrong. I hadn’t given her everything. Not yet. Also, I still owed DuShawn. But although I had an idea that would help them both, I knew that I couldn’t do it alone. After all, DuShawn’s monster seemed pretty big for one person to deal with. Even a someone with a demon inside her.
So I took my own advice and asked for help.
When Mr. Clerk came over for some tea and Real Housewives, I showed him two things I’d never hoped to see again, but couldn’t bear to part with just the same: Ari’s voodoo doll, which I’d rescued from the trash, and DuShawn’s drawing of the horrible demon that I’d liberated from Alan’s desk.
They both repulsed and fascinated me. If anything could describe how I’d been feeling over the past few weeks, it was the despair and helplessness evident in these childish artworks. But I’d also used them as inspiration to form a plan so perfect that it made me smile whenever I thought of it.
Mr. Clerk picked up the picture of DuShawn’s monster and made a face. “I’ve seen this thing before.”
“Is it really that big,” I asked, worried.
“At least this big,” he said. “And probably twice as fierce. Some demons are smarter than humans, but a good many of them are like this one: animal-like in their needs and appetites. And this one feeds on terror.”
“And would it terrify an adult?”
“Absolutely,” he said.
“Wh
at about you?”
He sniffed. “Of course not. It’s only another demon, after all.”
“Good. Because I need your help.” I told him my plan.
His eyes widened, and he dropped his cup, spilling tea into his lap. “You want me to what?”
I ran to fetch him a towel. “But don’t you think it’s a good idea,” I asked.
He blinked nervously as he dabbed at his white pants. “I think it’s a wonderful idea.”
“What about Miss Spry? Would she approve?”
“I don’t think she’d mind, no. But I also don’t think I’m the right person to help you out. Ask William,” he suggested.
“I don’t want to,” I said. I was still furious with William, and wasn’t about to ask him for any favors. Although it seemed impossible to keep William out of my thoughts, I could at least make sure I stayed away from him physically. “Please, Mr. Clerk, Patrick.” I touched his shoulder. “I would consider it a personal favor.” I smiled.
“Don’t try your charms on me,” he said, glowering. “They won’t work.”
I always knew he was more of an incubus man. I sank against the couch, nearly defeated. But the next moment, I sat up again. “How about for my mother? Would you do it as a final favor for Carrie?”
I could tell from his pained expression that my arrow had finally struck him dead-on. “My mother did ask you to look out for me,” I reminded him.
“Look out for you, yes. Not battle your demons.”
“But you’ll do it?”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “Fine. I’ll do it.” Then he looked at me. “But you owe me a new pair of pants.”
“Deal,” I said.
I held very, very still and watched the gentle rise and fall of DuShawn’s chest. He’d only been asleep for a few minutes.
“Are you positive that he can’t see us,” I asked Mr. Clerk. If I was caught in the bedroom of one of my students, I’d probably be locked away so deep that even Miss Spry wouldn’t be able to spring me. “Or that the monster can’t hear us?”
“Don’t worry,” he said. We were balanced on the thin ledge that separated our worlds. Mr. Clerk had taken off his jacket and tie in my living room, and now he rolled up his shirt sleeves. “The two of us should be able to take it. We do have the element of surprise, after all.” But for all his big talk, he looked ready to jump out of his own skin.
So was I. When I’d first seen the monster, I had to clamp my jaws together to keep from screaming. How DuShawn had managed to remain silent every night was beyond me. The boy had an inner strength I could only imagine. The demon’s sinister goggling eyes never left DuShawn, and its pincer-like hands clicked over and over again like an enormous insect’s mandibles. One green-mottled appendage slid under the covers, ready to pull out DuShawn’s foot. Inside, my demon squirmed with revulsion, apparently loathing the creature as much as I did.
“Ready?”
I swallowed and nodded.
“Now,” Mr. Clerk cried. We both dashed in. He grabbed the huge demon around the throat while I went for two of the arm appendages. It was like wrestling a fully-grown alligator. The monster thrashed its head and opened its toothy mouth trying to bite us, but we held on tightly.
We yanked the monster backward, into the realm of the in-between. Then, with a speed that surprised me, the three of us whirled around until we were in a new room in a new house. The place was dark, lit only by a TV whose picture had dissolved into snow. A naked man with a shock of white hair sat in front of a coffee table scattered with pornography so vile it made my skin crawl.
We burst through the barrier between the otherworld and the human one and released the demon. “Look there,” Mr. Clerk panted, pointing to the man in front of the TV. “Food!”
Whether the demon understood or not was unclear, but when the man with the white hair scrambled backwards, the monster was on him like Drinking Tea on a crumpled piece of tissue paper.
We retreated back into the safety of the otherworld hallway. Mr. Clerk’s clothing was rumpled and his hair was messed up, but he looked as if he’d had more fun in the past five minutes than he had in the past hundred years.
We stayed to watch the show. A rumbling noise filled the room as the demon spoke, warning the man that if he screamed, it would eat his guts
“He’ll scream,” I said.
“You’re right,” Mr. Clerk agreed. “But how long do you think it will take?”
I regarded the whimpering man who crouched on the floor. “Ten minutes.”
“I’d give him five. In fact, I’ll make a bet. If he screams in five minutes, then you owe me two pairs of pants and a pair of shoes as well.”
“Agreed.” I shook his hand.
As it turned out, the man didn’t even last two.
Chapter Sixteen
Two weeks later, I was back in my old neighborhood watching men haul ruined furniture from my house and toss it into an enormous Dumpster that sat in my driveway. The contractors I’d that hired had promised that we’d be able to move in by the time school ended. It’s amazing what a combination of succubus charm and a huge insurance settlement can do.
I felt William arriving before I saw him. He dressed in a jacket, plain t-shirt and jeans. His hair was damp, and he carried a scent of manly body wash, as if he’d just stepped out of the shower. He looked grouchy. He folded his arms over his chest and frowned as he surveyed the men working on the house.
“What’s got your tail in a knot,” I asked. If anyone had the right to be upset, it was me.
“I had an assignment last night,” he said. “I didn’t get any sleep.”
“A woman?” I tried to sound casual.
“Yes, a woman. And yes, we slept together, in case you’re wondering.”
“I wasn’t.” Since I’d done the same thing with Tommy, I certainly couldn’t go around casting stones at William. But still, it hurt to think of him in another woman’s bed. “So you stayed all night. Was she especially hard to convince?”
He looked uncomfortable. “No. She gave in almost immediately. Technically, it wasn’t necessary to bed her at all.”
“So why did you do it? Did you need another conquest? Another notch on your bedpost?” I was furious. I know I shouldn’t have been, but I couldn’t help it.
“What do you care,” he asked.
“I don’t.” It was a lie because as much as I hated to admit it, I missed him. He was great company when he wasn’t being all coy and seductive. But I wasn’t about to let him know that. “What you do on your own time is up to you.”
A long silence stretched between us, and then he said, “I stayed because I was lonely. That’s all.”
I completely understood. Since Tommy and Jasmine had left, I’d been terribly lonesome as well. Each night, after the girls went to bed, I curled up on the couch with pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a LifeTime movie. And no matter how dreadful the movie was, it always made me cry.
“I’m sorry, William.” I touched his arm.
He stepped back as if I’d burned him. “Damn it, Lilith! How do you do that?”
I was surprised. “Do what?”
“Bring out my human side. Every time I’m around you, I become vulnerable.”
“But I like your human side,” I said. “Much better than the demon one.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “You, of all people, should understand that our human sides are weak. They lead us to love, and love makes us defenseless. Or haven’t you learned anything from your experiences with Miss Spry?”
Actually, I’d learned a lot. Like I was capable of horribly cruel acts of betrayal. And that the world was full of evil beasts like Miss Spry. And that, when backed into a corner, I’d do anything to save the ones I loved. But what I said was, “I know that I need to cherish every little scrap of love that comes my way because there’s so little of it in this world.”
His eyes went hard. “Then that’s where you and I disagree.”
Two
men came out of the house hauling one of the couches from my living room. It was so black with soot that I hardly recognized it as the one that Ted and I had spent six months shopping for. Now it was nothing but another piece of garbage that would be dragged to the landfill. In fact, it was sort of a metaphor for my marriage. Not to mention my life.
I began to twine my fingers in my hair. Over the past few weeks, I had picked up the annoying, yet unstoppable, habit of tugging on it. Some of it was starting to fall out.
William put his hand over mine and gently moved it away from my head, stopping me from hurting myself. “It will be okay, Lil. I promise. In a few months, your life will be back to normal.”
I gave a bitter laugh. “No, it won’t.”
“I could make things easier to bear.” He put his arm around me. “Let me keep you company. We could be very good together.” I caught a glimpse of his demon in his rakish smile. “We could ease one another’s suffering.”
He was right, of course. The chemistry between us was definitely there. But Ted’s betrayal of me and my betrayal of Tommy were still too fresh in my mind to consider a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement. I didn’t want sex; I wanted love. Something I knew William would never give me.
“Sorry, but no,” I said.
He sighed, but looked as if he’d been expecting this all along. “Any time you change your mind, let me know.” He slid his hand down my back and let it cup my ass. “I promise you, I’ll make it worth your while.” Then he disappeared without saying good-bye, leaving me with nothing but a terrible sense of sadness.
After William left, I drove over to my dad’s, hoping to find Jasmine there. She’d been refusing to talk to me, even though I’d filled up the in-box on her phone with messages begging her to call. I’d gotten so upset that one night, when the girls were at a sleepover, I drank an entire bottle of wine then spent hours posting nearly a hundred (yes, a hundred) drunken FaceBook status updates, most of which said, “I lov my sistr so muchh”. It was such bizarre behavior that most of my friends un-friended me.