Never Say Die / Whistleblower

by Tess Gerritsen

  “Imagine things?” The look he gave her almost made her bite her tongue.

  “No,” she said quietly. “Misinterpret. The police can’t respond to every anonymous call. It’s natural they’d ask for your name.”

  “It was more than a request, Cathy. They were champing at the bit to interrogate me.”

  “I’m not doubting your word. I’m just playing devil’s advocate. Trying to keep things level and sane in a crazy situation.”

  He looked at her long and hard. At last he nodded. “The voice of a rational woman,” he sighed. “Exactly what I need right now. To keep me from jumping at my own shadow.”

  “And remind you to eat.” She held out another slice of pizza. “You ordered this giant thing. You’d better help me finish it.”

  The tension between them instantly evaporated. He settled onto the bed and accepted the proferred slice. “That maternal look becomes you,” he noted wryly. “So does the pizza sauce.”

  “What?” She swiped at her chin.

  “You look like a two-year-old who’s decided to finger-paint her face.”

  “Good grief, can you hand me the napkins?”

  “Let me do it.” Leaning forward, he gently dabbed away the sauce. As he did, she studied his face, saw the laugh lines creasing the corners of his eyes, the strands of silver intertwined with the brown hair. She remembered the photo of that very face, pasted on a Viratek badge. How somber he’d looked, the unsmiling portrait of a scientist. Now he appeared young and alive and almost happy.

  Suddenly aware that she was watching him, he looked up and met her gaze. Slowly his smile faded. They both went very still, as though seeing, in each other’s eyes, something they had not noticed before. The voices on the television seemed to fade into a far-off dimension. She felt his fingers trace lightly down her cheek. It was only a touch, but it left her shivering.

  She asked, softly, “What happens now, Victor? Where do we go from here?”

  “We have several choices.”

  “Such as?”

  “I have friends in Palo Alto. We could turn to them.”

  “Or?”

  “Or we could stay right where we are. For a while.”

  Right where we are. In this room, on this bed. She wouldn’t mind that. Not at all.

  She felt herself leaning toward him, drawn by a force against which she could offer no resistance. Both his hands came up to cradle her face, such large hands, but so infinitely gentle. She closed her eyes, knowing that this kiss, too, would be a gentle one.

  And it was. This wasn’t a kiss driven by fear or desperation. This was a quiet melting together of warmth, of souls. She swayed against him, felt his arms circle behind her to pull her inescapably close. It was a dangerous moment. She could feel herself tottering on the edge of total surrender to this man she scarcely knew. Already, her arms had found their way around his neck and her hands were roaming through the silver-streaked thickness of his hair.

  His kisses dropped to her neck, exploring all the tender rises and hollows of her throat. All the needs that had lain dormant these past few years, all the hungers and desires, seemed to stir inside her, awakening at his touch.

  And then, in an instant, the magic slipped away. At first she didn’t understand why he suddenly pulled back. He sat bolt upright. The expression on his face was one of frozen astonishment. Bewildered, she followed his gaze and saw that he was focused on the television set behind her. She turned to see what had captured his attention.

  A disturbingly familiar face stared back from the screen. She recognized the Viratek logo at the top, the straight-ahead gaze of the man in the photo. Why on earth would they be broadcasting Victor Holland’s ID badge?

  “…Sought on charges of industrial espionage. Evidence now links Dr. Holland to the death of a fellow Viratek researcher, Dr. Gerald Martinique. Investigators fear the suspect has already sold extensive research data to a European competitor….”

  Neither one of them seemed able to move from the bed. They could only stare in disbelief at the newscaster with the Ken doll haircut. The station switched to a commercial break, raisins dancing crazily on a field, proclaiming the wonders of California sunshine. The lilting music was unbearable.

  Victor rose to his feet and flicked off the television.

  Slowly he turned to look at her. The silence between them grew agonizing.

  “It’s not true,” he said quietly. “None of it.”

  She tried to read those unfathomable green eyes, wanting desperately to believe him. The taste of his kisses were still warm on her lips. The kisses of a con artist? Is this just another lie? Has everything you’ve told me been nothing but lies? Who and what are you, Victor Holland?

  She glanced sideways, at the telephone on the bedside stand. It was so close. One call to the police, that’s all it would take to end this nightmare.

  “It’s a frame-up,” he said. “Viratek’s releasing false information.”

  “Why?”

  “To corner me. What easier way to find me than to have the police help them?”

  She edged toward the phone.

  “Don’t, Cathy.”

  She froze, startled by the threat in his voice.

  He saw the instant fear in her eyes. Gently he said, “Please. Don’t call. I won’t hurt you. I promise you can walk right out that door if you want. But first listen to me. Let me tell you what happened. Give me a chance.”

  His gaze was steady and absolutely believable. And he was right beside her, ready to stop her from making a move. Or to break her arm, if need be. She had no other choice. Nodding, she settled back down on the bed.

  He began to pace, his feet tracing a path in the dull green carpet.

  “It’s all some—some incredible lie,” he said. “It’s crazy to think I’d kill him. Jerry Martinique and I were the best of friends. We both worked at Viratek. I was in vaccine development, he was a microbiologist. His specialty was viral studies. Genome research.”

  “You mean—like chromosomes?”

  “The viral equivalent. Anyway, Jerry and I, we helped each other through some bad times. He’d gone through a painful divorce and I…” He paused, his voice dropping. “I lost my wife three years ago. To leukemia.”

  So he’d been married. Somehow it surprised her. He seemed like the sort of man who was far too independent to have ever said, “I do.”

  “About two months ago,” he continued, “Jerry was transferred to a new research department. Viratek had been awarded a grant for some defense project. It was top security—Jerry couldn’t talk about it. But I could see he was bothered by something that was going on in that lab. All he’d say to me was, ‘They don’t understand the danger. They don’t know what they’re getting into.’ Jerry’s field was the alteration of viral genes. So I assume the project had something to do with viruses as weapons. Jerry was fully aware that those weapons are outlawed by international agreement.”

  “If he knew it was illegal, why did he take part in it?”

  “Maybe he didn’t realize at first what the project was aiming for. Maybe they sold it to him as purely defensive research. In any event, he got upset enough to resign from the project. He went right to the top—the founder of Viratek. Walked into Archibald Black’s office and threatened to go public if the project wasn’t terminated. Four days later he had an accident.” Anger flashed in Victor’s eyes. It wasn’t directed at her, but the fury in that gaze was frightening all the same.

  “What happened to him?” she asked.

  “His wrecked car was found at the side of the road. Jerry was still inside. Dead, of course.” Suddenly, the anger was gone, replaced by overwhelming weariness. He sank onto the bed. “I thought the accident investigation would blow everything into the open. It was a farce. The local cops did their best, but then some federal transportation ‘expert’ showed up on the scene and took over. He said Jerry must’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. Case closed. That’s when I realized just how deep this wen
t. I didn’t know who to go to, so I called the FBI in San Francisco. Told them I had evidence.”

  “You mean the film?” asked Cathy.

  Victor nodded. “Just before he was killed, Jerry told me about some duplicate papers he’d stashed away in his garden shed. After the…accident, I went over to his house. Found the place ransacked. But they never bothered to search the shed. That’s how I got hold of the evidence, a single file and a roll of film. I arranged a meeting with one of the San Francisco agents, a guy named Sam Polowski. I’d already talked to him a few times on the phone. He offered to meet me in Garberville. We wanted to keep it private, so we agreed to a spot just outside of town. I drove down, fully expecting him to show. Well, someone showed up, all right. Someone who ran me off the road.” He paused and looked straight at her. “That’s the night you found me.”

  The night my whole life changed, she thought.

  “You have to believe me,” he said.

  She studied him, her instincts battling against logic. The story was just barely plausible, halfway between truth and fantasy. But the man looked solid as stone.

  Wearily she nodded. “I do believe you, Victor. Maybe I’m crazy. Or just gullible. But I do.”

  The bed shifted as he sat down beside her. They didn’t touch, yet she could almost feel the warmth radiating between them.

  “That’s all that matters to me right now,” he said. “That you know, in your heart, I’m telling the truth.”

  “In my heart?” She shook her head and laughed. “My heart’s always been a lousy judge of character. No, I’m guessing. I’m going by the fact you kept me alive. By the fact there’s another Cathy Weaver who’s now dead…”

  Remembering the face of that other woman, the face in the newspaper, she suddenly began to shake. It all added up to the terrible truth. The gun blasts into her apartment, the other dead Cathy. And Sarah, poor Sarah.

  She was gulping in shaky breaths, hovering on the verge of tears.

  She let him take her in his arms, let him pull her down on the bed beside him. He murmured into her hair, gentle words of comfort and reassurance. He turned off the lamp. In darkness they held each other, two frightened souls joined against a terrifying world. She felt safe there, tucked away against his chest. This was a place where no one could hurt her. It was a stranger’s arms, but from the smell of his shirt to the beat of his heart, it all seemed somehow familiar. She never wanted to leave that spot, ever.

  She trembled as his lips brushed her forehead. He was stroking her face now, her neck, warming her with his touch. When his hand slipped beneath her blouse, she didn’t protest. Somehow it seemed so natural, that that hand would come to lie at her breast. It wasn’t the touch of a marauder, it was simply a gentle reminder that she was in safekeeping.

  And yet, she found herself responding….

  Her nipple tingled and grew taut beneath his cupping hand. The tingling spread, a warmth that crept to her face and flushed her cheeks. She reached for his shirt and began to unbutton it. In the darkness she was slow and clumsy. By the time she finally slid her hand under the fabric, they were both breathing hard and fast with anticipation.

  She brushed through the coarse mat of hair, stroking her way across that broad chest. He took in a sharp breath as her fingers skimmed a delicate circle around his nipple.

  If playing with fire had been her intention, then she had just struck the match.

  His mouth was suddenly on hers, seeking, devouring. The force of his kiss pressed her onto her back, trapping her head against the pillows. For a dizzy eternity she was swimming in sensations, the scent of male heat, the unyielding grip of his hands imprisoning her face. Only when he at last drew away did they both come up for air.

  He stared down at her, as though hovering on the edge of temptation.

  “This is crazy,” he whispered.

  “Yes. Yes, it is—”

  “I never meant to do this—”

  “Neither did I.”

  “It’s just that you’re scared. We’re both scared. And we don’t know what the hell we’re doing.”

  “No.” She closed her eyes, felt the unexpected bite of tears. “We don’t. But I am scared. And I just want to be held. Please, Victor. Hold me, that’s all. Just hold me.”

  He pulled her close, murmuring her name. This time the embrace was gentle, without the fever of desire. His shirt was still unbuttoned, his chest bared. And that’s where she lay her head, against that curling nest of hair. Yes, he was right, so wise. They were crazy to be making love when they both knew it was fear, nothing else, that had driven their desire. And now the fever had broken.

  A sense of peace fell over her. She curled up against him. Exhaustion robbed them both of speech. Her muscles gradually fell limp as sleep tugged her into its shadow. Even if she tried to, she could not move her arms or legs. Instead she was drifting free, like a wraith in the darkness, floating somewhere in a warm and inky sea.

  Vaguely she was aware of light sliding past her eyelids.

  The warmth encircling her body seemed to melt away. No, she wanted it back, wanted him back! An instant later she felt him shaking her.

  “Cathy. Come on, wake up!”

  Through drowsy eyes she peered at him. “Victor?”

  “Something’s going on outside.”

  She tumbled out of bed and followed him to the window. Through a slit in the curtains she spotted what had alarmed him: a patrol car, its radio crackling faintly, parked by the motel registration door. At once she snapped wide awake, her mind going over the exits from their room. There was only one.

  “Out, now!” he ordered. “Before we’re trapped.”

  He eased open the door. They scrambled out onto the walkway. The frigid night air was like a slap in the face. She was already shivering, more from fear than from the cold. Running at a crouch, they moved along the walkway, away from the stairs, and ducked past the ice machine.

  Below, they heard the lobby door open and the voice of the motel manager: “Yeah, that’ll be right upstairs. Gee, he sure seemed like a nice-enough guy….”

  Tires screeched as another patrol car pulled up, lights flashing.

  Victor gave her a push. “Go!”

  They slipped into a breezeway and scurried through, to the other side of the building. No stairways there! They climbed over the walkway railing and dropped into the parking lot.

  Faintly they heard a banging, then the command: “Open up! This is the police.”

  At once they were sprinting instinctively for the shadows. No one spotted them, no one gave chase. Still they kept running, until they’d left the Kon-Tiki Motel blocks and blocks behind them, until they were so tired they were stumbling.

  At last Cathy slowed to a halt and leaned back against a doorway, her breath coming out in clouds of cold mist. “How did they find you?” she said between gasps.

  “It couldn’t have been the call….” Suddenly he groaned. “My credit card! I had to use it to pay the bill.”

  “Where now? Should we try another motel?”

  He shook his head. “I’m down to my last forty bucks. I can’t risk a credit card again.”

  “And I left my purse at the apartment. I—I’m not sure I want to—”

  “We’re not going back for it. They’ll be watching the place.”

  They. Meaning the killers.

  “So we’re broke,” she said weakly.

  He didn’t answer. He stood with his hands in his pockets, his whole body a study in frustration. “You have friends you can go to?”

  “I think so. Uh, no. She’s out of town till Friday. And what would I tell her? How would I explain you?”

  “You can’t. And we can’t handle any questions right now.”

  That leaves out most of my friends, she thought. Nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Unless…

  No, she’d promised herself never to sink that low, never to beg for that particular source of help.

  Victor glanced up the street.
“There’s a bus stop over there.” He reached in his pocket and took out a handful of money. “Here,” he said. “Take it and get out of the city. Go visit some friends on your own.”

  “What about you?”

  “I’ll be okay.”

  “Broke? With everyone after you?” She shook her head.

  “I’ll only make things more dangerous for you.” He pressed the money into her hand.

  She stared down at the wad of bills, thinking: This is all he has. And he’s giving it to me. “I can’t,” she said.

  “You have to.”

  “But—”

  “Don’t argue with me.” The look in his eyes left no alternative.

  Reluctantly she closed her fingers around the money.

  “I’ll wait till you get on the bus. It should take you right past the station.”

  “Victor?”

  He silenced her with a single look. Placing both hands on her shoulders, he stood her before him. “You’ll be fine,” he said. Then he pressed a kiss to her forehead. For a moment his lips lingered, and the warmth of his breath in her hair left her trembling. “I wouldn’t leave you if I thought otherwise.”

  The roar of a bus down the block made them both turn.

  “There’s your limousine,” he whispered. “Go.” He gave her a nudge. “Take care of yourself, Cathy.”

  She started toward the bus stop. Three steps, four. She slowed and came to a halt. Turning, she saw that he had already edged away into the shadows.

  “Get on it!” he called.

  She looked at the bus. I won’t do it, she thought.

  She turned back to Victor. “I know a place! A place we can both stay!”

  “What?”

  “I didn’t want to use it but—”

  Her words were drowned out as the bus wheezed to the stop, then roared away.

  “It’s a bit of a walk,” she said. “But we’d have beds and a meal. And I can guarantee no one would call the police.”

  He came out of the shadows. “Why didn’t you think of this earlier?”

  “I did think of it. But up till now, things weren’t, well…desperate enough.”

  “Not desperate enough,” he repeated slowly. He moved toward her, his face taut with incredulity. “Not desperate enough? Hell, lady. I’d like to know exactly what kind of crisis would qualify!”