“Sounds like a smart dude.”
“All things considered, he’s regarded as the smartest man alive, sir,” said Dan.
Armonto finally reached Jack, stopping and smiling down at him. “Earthman Finnegan,” he said in a soft but confident tone as he placed his fist over his heart and gave a slight bow. “It is an honor to meet you.”
“And you, Mr. Virtuoso,” replied Jack, mimicking the man’s bow. “My Attaché Android was just telling me all about you.”
Armonto looked Dan over briefly, smirking. “Ah, yes, the EX7674846N model,” he said. “I’ll see if we can’t equip you with one of the newer versions. They tend to be far less long-winded.”
“Um, that’s okay, this one is fine,” replied Jack.
“I’ve heard some of the details about your wondrous ship,” Armonto continued. “I’m quite eager to take a look at it. From all accounts, there’s never been anything of its kind before.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty sweet,” replied Jack, proudly.
“Just wait until we begin building an entire fleet of ships just like it,” said Armonto with a smile. “I look forward to working with you on just such a thing.”
“Uh, yeah, me too,” said Jack. With that, Armonto nodded and took his leave. As he walked away, Jack leaned toward Dan. “What did he mean he’d be working with me?” Jack asked.
“The Maguffyn Corporation is the leading authority on all things regarding Ancient technology, sir,” Dan replied. “One can assume that the Princess would engage it in the study of your vessel. Next up, we have Lord Gebhard and Lady Judyth, of Legacy Skyborn.”
“Legacy Skyborn?” asked Jack. “Is that anything like Legacy Prime?”
“A Legacy is a title awarded to governors of solar systems. Legacy titles can only be granted or taken away by the Emperor,” Dan explained. “All inhabited planets, colonies, and outposts within a solar system are overseen by a Legacy, the responsibilities of which are typically passed down from generation to generation. It is not unheard of to have Legacies which have ruled over a solar system for thousands of years.”
“So… they’re kind of a big deal, huh?”
“Most certainly, sir. A Legacy is one of the most powerful positions within the Empire, next to that of a Starkeeper or a Director. They essentially rule a mini-empire of their own and typically command a great deal of power and influence. Legacy Prime traditionally rules the system where the Regalus home planet is located. The Skyborns are the Legacy of the Maxima star system, which is a gateway to many Imperial worlds and outposts on the outer edges of Imperial Space. They also have the distinction of being next in line to inheriting Legacy Prime, as their son is engaged to Princess Glorianna.”
Jack felt a lump form in his throat. “Their… son?” Jack asked.
“Yes, sir. Mourdock Skyborn, Emperor Ascendant,” replied Dan. “He is set to inherit the throne, alongside Princess Glorianna, once they are wed.”
Jack looked down the walkway to see a man and a woman approaching. The man was tall and husky, with a weathered face, broad shoulders, and a sharp widow’s peak formed from his jet black hair. He was dressed in a dark navy blue uniform, the jacket of which trailed off into a cape at the waist. His outfit was trimmed with bronze, and on his right breast was an embroidered five-point star with majestic wings on either side, as though it were a bird gliding down from the sky.
In contrast to him, the woman on his arm was quite beautiful. She had golden hair, neatly pinned up in a high bun with luxurious bangs that framed her soft-featured face. She wore a light blue strapless gown, trimmed in silver which sparkled in the light. Jack noticed she wore a crystalline necklace that featured a winged star as its pendant.
When they reached Jack, Gebhard Skyborn raised his fist to his heart and gave a slight bow while Judyth curtsied gracefully. “Earthman Finnegan,” said Gebhard, his voice gruff and bass-heavy. “Legacy Skyborn is honored to receive you this evening and shall be forever in your debt for saving the life of our Princess and future daughter-in-law.”
“Your bravery and sacrifice is an inspiration to us all,” Judyth said. “We wish to welcome you to the Empire, and want you to know that you shall always have a home among the Skyborns.”
Jack nodded and bowed. “Thank you,” he said. “I appreciate your kindness.”
“My apologies that our son, Mourdock, could not be here tonight,” Gebhard said. “He has been busy defending a number of our Rim colonies from Deathlord raids.”
“Raids?” asked Jack.
“Yes, the Deathlords have a number of small squadrons of ships which they use to strike at smaller targets around the Empire. They have been devastating to a number of colonies and outposts,” Gebhard said, before proudly adding, “Mourdock has proven himself to be quite a successful deterrent to these raids. Since he took command of policing Maxima, the Deathlords have not made a single successful incursion.”
“Wow,” said Jack. “He seems like quite a guy.”
“He’s already being hailed as one of the foremost military tacticians in the Empire,” said Gebhard with a smile. “He has yet to lose a battle against the Deathlords. Many in the Rim are hailing him as a hero.”
Yeah, but has he ever blown up a planet? Didn’t think so! Jack thought bitterly.
“He will want to meet you when he finally arrives,” said Judyth. “The two of you are so brave and noble. I’m sure you’ll both become the best of friends.”
Don’t count on it, thought Jack. “I look forward to meeting him,” Jack lied. For some reason, when Jack tried to picture Mourdock Skyborn in his mind, he looked and acted a lot like J.C. Rowdey – a big, meathead jock who ran around bullying Deathlords into submission with wet-willies and mean jokes about their mommas.
After the Skyborns, there was a parade of other distinguished Regals who made their way to greet Jack. All the Directors stopped by to acknowledge him before the crowd. Starkeeper Cohaagen also greeted Jack, clad in a formal Regal Navy uniform with all types of medals decorating his chest. It wasn’t long before Jack’s visitors began to transition from human-like Regals to more exotic beings. Each time an alien began making its way toward him, Dan was sure to give Jack a brief run-down of it and how its species fit into the Empire. The routine started to make Jack zone out slightly, since the meet-and-greet tended to be the same thing over and over. But as the final numbers were starting to be called, Jack found his guests were becoming more and more interesting.
“Next up we have Representative Murrgull from the Council of Elders,” said Dan. “He is a member of the Scollum race, which hails from the planet Scoll in the Ecaz section of Imperial space.”
Jack tried to hide his revulsion as the Scollum Representative approached. Apparently, Scollums were four foot tall slugs with light grey skin that was coated with some type of mucousy ooze, a trail of which was left behind as the alien scooted forward. It had a single large eye the size of a dinner plate in the middle of its head, under which was a wide mouth with many pointy teeth.
“Scollums communicate primarily through odors,” Dan explained. “The small hairs on their skin are linked directly to their brains, allowing them to recognize scents that are imperceptible to most species. The best colognes, perfumes, air fresheners, and deodorants are manufactured and exported from Scoll. However, when Scollums get upset or agitated, they tend to smell rather unpleasant. There is a special enclosed area specifically for Scollum dignitaries in both the Council of Juniors and the Council of Elders to prevent the rest of the representatives from having to smell them when they get into heated debates. It is recommended never to insult or agitate a Scollum if you are close by one. Their odor has been known to be so foul, it can make those around them pass out.”
Right, don’t upset the stinky slug, noted Jack as the Scollum Representative approached. Jack smiled as widely as he could and gave the Representative a slight bow. “Elder Representative Murrgull,” Jack said. “It is an honor to meet you.”
�
��The honor is mine, Earthman,” replied Murrgull, his voice sounding like a cross between a gurgle and someone with a really bad sinus problem. “On behalf of all Scollums everywhere, we thank you for ridding the universe of the Planetkiller fleet. Many young Scollings shall sleep well tonight knowing their planet is now safe.”
“I am glad I could be of assistance to your people,” replied Jack. Instead of moving on after the formal greeting, Murrgull simply stared at Jack, his large brown eye looking slightly glazed over as his body appeared to convulse slightly, causing ripples and bulges under his (rather gross) skin. The silence lingered, and Jack began to feel quite uncomfortable under the Scollum’s gaze. “Uh…” said Jack. “Was there something else you wanted to say?”
Murrgull blinked, as though snapping out of a trance. “Apologies,” he replied. “It’s just that you reek of puberty and perspiration.”
“Oh, um… sorry,” said Jack, embarrassed.
“It’s intoxicating,” gurgled Murrgull, licking his lips with a long mucousy tongue.
“Uh…” muttered Jack, totally creeped out by the look on Murrgull’s face.
“Have you ever thought about bottling your scent? It could make you extremely rich on Scoll… assuming you survived the gland milking process, that is.”
“I’ll… take that under advisement,” replied Jack, trying his best to hide his revulsion. As the Scollum took his leave, Jack tried to subtly catch a whiff of his own armpits, just to make sure the ‘puberty and perspiration’ the alien spoke of wasn’t too noticeable.
No sooner had Murrgull departed than a tall, lanky man dressed in what appeared to be a rather traditional suit, with a very attractive female companion on his arm, came strutting forward, a lopsided grin on his face. “Who’s this guy?” Jack asked Dan.
Dan was quiet for a moment as he searched his database to try and place the approaching guests. “Curious,” Dan said. “I don’t appear to have him in my records.”
The man stopped in front of Jack and gave him a quick bow with his head. “Greetings, Earthman!” the man said, followed by a quick chuckle, after which he whispered to his companion “I’ve always wanted to say that.”
“Um, greetings,” replied Jack. “You’ll have to forgive me, but I don’t know who you are.”
“I am The Doctor.”
“The Doctor?”
“That's what I said.”
“Doctor who?”
“Yes.”
“Huh?”
“People simply call me The Doctor.”
“Oh,” said Jack, beyond confused. “What are you a doctor of?”
“Everything.”
“Everything?”
“That's what I said.”
“So... you're a medical doctor?”
“I am.”
“Are you also a psychiatric doctor?”
“I told you, I am a doctor of everything.”
“Does that mean you're also a doctor of awesome?”
“Is awesome part of everything?”
“I guess.”
“Then, yes.”
Jack nodded. He didn’t know what else to say to the strange man, who quickly picked up on the awkwardness of the moment.
“Right. Well then, it was an honor to meet you,” the man said. “Best of luck in your future endeavors. You’re certainly going to need it. Allons-y!”
“So nice meeting you,” the man’s companion quickly said before he dragged her off.
Jack watched the couple go and then leaned toward Dan. “What was all that about?” he asked.
“Most likely party crashers, sir,” replied Dan. “You always get a handful of those in events this large.”
Jack turned and saw a strange machine rolling forward on tank-like treads, its wide, cylindrical chassis about four feet tall and housing what appeared to be a glowing blue crystal under a fishbowl-like glass dome, making it look like a trashcan with a clear-domed head. Jack looked at it curiously as it started its approach. “Whoa,” Jack muttered. “What is that?”
“That, sir, is #00B2EEn.”
“It’s what now?”
“It is a self-aware form of the color blue,” Dan clarified. “It is categorized by its hexadecimal number on the color scale, distinguished by it being to the power of N, which is the superscript assigned to colors which communicate with other dimensions.”
“No way!” said Jack as #00B2EEn approached. He looked at the glowing blue crystal excitedly.
“My greetings to you, Earthman Finnegan,” the crystal said, briefly glowing brighter with each word it spoke.
“And to you!” replied Jack. “It’s so exciting to get to talk to a color! I’ve never done that before.”
The color chuckled. “Well, I am honored to be your first contact with my kind.”
“Your kind?” asked Jack. “So there are other colors that can talk?”
“Well, all colors can talk,” #00B2EEn replied. “You just have to know how to listen to them.”
“Rad!” exclaimed Jack. “So do you all, like, hang out? What’s red like? He seems like he might be kind of a jerk.”
“Oh, I’m afraid I don’t know,” said #00B2EEn. “Though I am able to communicate with beings such as yourself, I can only talk to other colors that exist within my particular spectrum.”
“So… you can only talk to other shades of blue?” Jack asked.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Okay, cool,” replied Jack. “What are they like? Are there others like you that can talk to us?”
“Well, we do have a hyperintelligent cousin who’s able to communicate in the third dimension,” offered #00B2EEn. “But he’s kind of a snob, so we don’t talk to him much.”
“But you can talk to other shades of blue? Even the ones that can’t talk to us?”
“Oh, yes,” said #00B2EEn. “It is amazing what one can learn from chatting with different shades of blue. In fact, much of the work I do for the Empire comes in the form of intelligence gathering and reconnaissance.”
“Seriously?” said Jack, intrigued.
“Indeed,” replied #00B2EEn. “If a being has blue eyes, I can interrogate it and ask it what it has seen. The same is true of a blue uniform or blue skin. I can talk to a painting with the color blue in it, or a piece of furniture that’s blue, and ask it what it has heard. Anything that is blue is a potential source of intelligence for me.”
“That’s so awesome!” said Jack. “What about the sky? Can you talk to it?”
“Well, the sky is so high up it usually can’t hear me,” said #00B2EEn.
“Wow, you must hear all types of crazy stuff,” said Jack. “There’s blue everywhere!”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” replied #00B2EEn. “Perhaps you and I could hang out sometime and gossip!”
“I would sooooo be down for that!” said Jack with a giddy grin.
“Then I shall look forward to our next meeting, Earthman,” said #00B2EEn before it began rolling away.
“Next, sir, we have the Orean delegation,” said Dan. Jack looked at the next group of aliens walking down the aisle. There were two females, both clad in long stockings, short plaid skirts, and buttoned white tops. Their hair was pulled up into large pigtails, one dyed pink and the other dyed bright green. Their skin was smooth and orange, and their eyes were so big and dark, they looked like they were wearing oversized sunglasses.
Between them was a short male of the same species, clad in a powder blue suit practically encrusted with rhinestones, which all shimmered flamboyantly in the light. He had a round face, short dark hair, and the same large sunglass-like eyes as the females on his arms. His tiny, puckered mouth was drawn into a smile as he approached, his shoes glowing bright red with each step he took.
“Whoa,” remarked Jack. “What’s the story on these guys?”
“Oreans are quite renowned for their entertainment industry,” Dan explained. “Their culture places a heavy emphasis on all forms of entertainment, from cinem
a, to music, and even sporting events. Much of the Empire’s recreational material, such as holofilms, fashion, and music, comes from the planet of Orea. Another interesting thing to note is that Oreans have exceptional eyesight, and are able to pick up on subtle gestures and movements. Because of this, most Oreans communicate completely through body language and are quite fond of bright colors and lights.”
The Orean delegation stopped in front of Jack just as Dan finished his explanation. The male Orean placed his hand on his chest and gyrated his body as the females struck a pose by his side. “That is the traditional Orean formal greeting, sir,” Dan said. “Shall I translate a response?”
Jack smiled. It kinda looked like the Orean was doing a funky dance move. In the back of his brain, where he had downloaded all the crazy alien languages from the Ancient Temple’s access orb back on the Earth, Jack instinctually picked up on the meaning behind the movements. “Nah,” replied Jack. “I got this.” Jack then proceeded to pop-and-lock his way to a response, before twirling around, pointing into the air, and thrusting his pelvis rhythmically. The Oreans squealed in delight at Jack’s reply, the two females clapping their hands and giggling as Jack and their male counterpart proceeded do a quick little dance-off. When it was over, the male Orean put his fist to his heart and bowed, then walked away as his companions followed, blowing Jack kisses as they left.
“Most impressive, sir,” said Dan. “I was not aware you were fluent in Orean.”
“Me neither,” said Jack, catching his breath. “Let’s just hope they don’t want to talk again later. That was kinda exhausting.”
“Nevertheless, they certainly seemed pleased by your efforts to engage them in their native language, sir,” said Dan. “Next up, we have Elder Representative Hardiron, of the Stonehooligans.”
Earthman Jack vs. The Secret Army (Earthman Jack Space Saga Book 2) Page 12
