The Darkness Visible

by Tori de Clare

Dan nodded. ‘I wanted to refuse, but I couldn’t. We were there until two in the morning. Nathan had vanished from the room with all the others. To be honest, I didn’t even see him go. So it was me and Vincent, alone and head to head.’

  Dan dried up again.

  ‘Did you win or lose?’

  ‘I won,’ he said, with a twist of sadness and regret. ‘It was the perfect checkmate. Beautiful. Even when my queen made the final move from the far side of the board, he didn’t see it coming. I’d envisaged the whole thing, six moves ahead. He fell right into my lap where I was trying to lead him. Do you play chess?’

  ‘You’re looking at the junior school chess champion,’ she said, and smiled.

  Dan was elsewhere. ‘Really?

  ‘I haven’t played since then.’

  ‘But you remember the feeling – when you’ve been sweating and toiling for hours, fumbling mentally for a way forward, refusing to lie down. Then there’s an opportunity, just a ray and it starts to brighten, and then the exhilaration of the final few moves and that glorious word, “checkmate” . . . All the more satisfying when it hits the opponent like a lightning bolt.’

  ‘Yes, I know.’ The colours flickered on the wall. ‘Well done,’ Naomi said.

  ‘Fatal mistake,’ Dan answered, pushing back his hair. ‘I should have let him win.’

  18

  The flat was as silent as a morgue. Naomi was reluctant to move. Dan had gone still in the dimness. He’d withdrawn his hand from hers and was studying his palms now and tracing the creases in his left hand with his right forefinger. A tiny muscle fluttered in his jaw.

  ‘It’s finished, Dan,’ Naomi said after a long wait. ‘The aftermath is awful, but it’s over. We just need to heal.’

  Dan shook his head. ‘I’m not going to lie to you, Naomi. It’s far from over.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  He slid a glance at her. ‘Justice has been evaded for a reason. Someone’s gone to a lot of trouble to work this thing out. Someone somewhere has a bigger agenda. That’s what I think and I don’t know what’s coming.’

  ‘That’s what Nathan thinks too.’

  At the mention of Nathan’s name, Dan jerked his head to face her. ‘I knew it. He’s been to see you, hasn’t he?’

  A hesitation, though she’d mentioned Nathan’s name deliberately. She had to be upfront. ‘Yes.’

  ‘When? How?’

  ‘Just before the decision by the CPS, Nathan got into our house. He hid under my bed for hours, then when I turned the light off he got into bed with me, armed with a knife.’

  Dan swore. He shouted. Naomi told him to keep it down. He stood up and stamped around the room tugging at his hair.

  ‘Did you call the police?’ Dan’s eyes were wide with rage.

  ‘They wouldn’t have believed me.’

  ‘That’s what Nathan wants you to believe so he can do whatever the hell he wants.’

  ‘After what’s happened, I’m not willing to involve the police in anything.’

  ‘I’ll kill him,’ Dan said through clenched teeth.

  ‘Dan, calm down.’

  ‘Calm down? That evil, lying . . .’ He threw his arms down by his sides. ‘What did he do to you?’

  ‘Nothing. He dragged me outside to talk.’

  ‘Did he touch you?’

  ‘No, not really.’

  ‘Not really?’

  ‘He was just trying to intimidate me and screw with my mind. You know Nathan.’

  ‘Only too well. And he succeeded, which is why you stayed away from me.’ He couldn’t keep the accusation from his tone.

  ‘I’m sorry, Dan.’

  Dan was still angry. ‘What did he want?’

  ‘Money. Just lousy money. He didn’t want me, he wanted his half of the money.’

  ‘His half?’ Dan spat.

  ‘Which is why I’d rather it stayed with you. That way he can’t get at it. He’s still my husband, Dan.’

  ‘He has no right to be your husband. Get the marriage annulled.’

  ‘Dan,’ Naomi breathed. All the air rushed out of her. ‘Don’t you think I want to? I can’t get the marriage annulled without Nathan’s cooperation, OK? We both have to confirm that we didn’t sleep together and Nathan has it on police record that I went on that honeymoon with him. His testimony is that we were together for a week. He’ll never admit I didn’t go. That would be as good as saying he lied, which would land him in prison. Do you see?’

  ‘Go and get some proof that you never slept with him. Book an appointment at your surgery.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have to face that kind of humiliation. In any case, it’ll probably be inconclusive. Any number of things could make it impossible to tell.’

  ‘I know.’ Dan closed his eyes and put a palm against his forehead. ‘So you’re trapped.’ He peeped from behind his hand.

  ‘Effectively, yes. Unless Nathan agrees, it’s unlikely I’ll ever get the marriage annulled. Then we’re talking about a divorce, a very long time from now. Even then, I’d be relying on him responding to solicitors’ letters and showing up at court. Can you imagine the games he’ll play?’

  ‘I’m going to kill him,’ Dan said a second time. ‘He has no right to any rights. He should be in prison, instead of which he’s still messing with your head.’

  Naomi nodded wearily. ‘Which brings me back to the money,’ she said. ‘Nathan promised he’d leave me alone if I gave him half the money. He might even agree to an annulment.’

  ‘No,’ Dan hissed fiercely. ‘Why should you give in to blackmail?’

  ‘I shouldn’t. On the other hand, what choice do I have? He has me in a corner. If he holds out for a divorce, he’ll be entitled to half of everything anyway. The courts will insist. Isn’t it best just to settle now so I can be free?’

  Dan shook his head. ‘No, that can’t be right.’ Dan walked the length of the room and back again, snorting air through his nose.

  ‘What’s right about any of this?’ Naomi asked. ‘I just want Nathan out of my life, Dan. What if he finds out where I live? Then what if he doesn’t hold back next time he has a knife to my throat? As things stand, he’d be entitled to all of the money if anything happened to me. Trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot.’

  Dan shook his head again. ‘I need to think more about this. A lot more. It’d be a big mistake to give in to his demands.’ Dan walked round to the sofa and landed next to her. ‘Anyway, you didn’t avoid me for a couple of months just because Nathan wanted money.’

  Naomi closed her eyes. This was difficult. It meant admitting something she’d been determined to suppress. ‘I’m sorry, OK? Look, Nathan thinks you’re working with Solomon, which was enough to have me running a mile.’

  ‘Solomon? What is he on about?’

  ‘I think he really believes it.’

  ‘Nathan believes all his own lies, which is why they’re so convincing,’ Dan said.

  ‘Well, he told me that I was being naïve – that you double-crossed him by instruction. That it was a ploy to win me over and get the money for yourself.’

  ‘And you believed him?’

  ‘It wasn’t that.’ Naomi panted. ‘I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I went back to college and decided to sever ties, Dan, with both of you. I thought I wanted a new start. I know it sounds drastic, brutal even, but I couldn’t risk getting deeper into trouble, and I had no faith in my own judgement.’ She paused for a long moment. ‘Do you know what I found, though, and I’ve only realised this the last few days?’

  ‘What?’ His voice was calmer.

  ‘That it didn’t matter where I woke up. I was still me with the same feelings, the same fears, the same terror inside my head. I realised that there was no leaving it behind. It wasn’t the kind of crap that I could walk around, but the type I’d have to wade through. No shortcuts. And I knew it was going to be messy and unavoidable.’

  They looked at each other. Neither spoke for a while.

&nbs
p; It was Dan who said, ‘I’m willing to wade through that mire with you. All the way, whatever it means, whatever it costs. If you want me.’ She looked at him and didn’t move. ‘Do you want me?’

  She sighed. Of course she wanted him. Didn’t she? ‘I can’t think beyond tomorrow, Dan. I know I wanted to come here tonight. I wanted to see you, really badly. I wanted to be alone with you and –’

  Dan silenced her by shifting forward and putting his mouth on hers. A sigh escaped her lips, and his. He parted her lips and kissed her urgently now, and pulled her onto his knee and held her so close, she could feel the rhythm of his heart. Her body went limp. She stayed on his knee, entangled in his arms when they pulled apart. His pulse hammered against her cheek.

  ‘I could hurt Nathan for what he’s done to you,’ Dan said. ‘I don’t think I love him anymore. My own brother. I’m ashamed to say that when I think of him, I’m filled with . . . loathing.’

  On his left arm, the sleeve of his top had lifted and she could see the bottom of his tattoo. Nathan’s words returned again. Could she ever escape them?

  ‘The night of the chess game, is that the last time you socialised with Vincent Solomon?’

  The response was delayed. ‘No. He asked for a rematch. And when Vincent asks for something and looks at you like he does, it’s hard to refuse.’

  ‘So you went back?’

  ‘I didn’t plan to. I made excuses for a month, said I was busy at the hospital, I was tired, anything. By now, Nathan was seeing Lorie. Whether they went to Solomon’s together or not, I don’t know. It’s all a bit hazy now. Nathan was getting sucked in and I was trying to detach myself. Then Carter turned up at the hospital one day – just breezed onto the ward like the Hulk and found me. He was wearing a T-shirt. You know what he’s like. Ripped. It wasn’t the muscles I noticed, but the tattoo on his right bicep.’

  ‘What tattoo?’

  ‘They all have them. His was the picture of a pawn. He saw me looking at it and said that he was one of Solomon’s players. I didn’t know what he meant.’

  ‘Do you know now?’

  ‘Yeah. Solomon sees those guys as his pawns, minor players, there to protect him and do all the running and sacrifice themselves if necessary. The bigger players get a better badge. The tattoo is the mark of the gang, Naomi. Solomon sees himself as the king. Ultimately, if anyone moves in to checkmate him, the whole game is over. So everyone works to protect him.’

  ‘Holy crap.’ She digested this news. ‘So what did Carter say at the hospital?’

  ‘Oh, he’d come with a personal invitation, hand delivered by Mr Universe himself – Solomon would be disappointed if I didn’t make it for a rematch soon, all that intimidating rubbish. So I fixed a date and decided I was going to lose the match. I wanted to lose, wanted him to think I was a loser. I wanted him to lose interest in me altogether.’

  Dan was reluctant to finish.

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘So I went. They were all there.’

  ‘Nathan and Lorie?’

  ‘Yeah, plus other girls I’d never seen. I really noticed the tattoos that night. They have them in different places, but they all have them.’

  ‘Lorie?’

  ‘On her backside, same as Nathan. I’ve never seen it, obviously. Nathan told me.’

  Naomi felt quite sick. She swallowed. Her stomach rolled. ‘So you let him win and got the hell out of there?’

  ‘There was no match,’ Dan said. ‘This is what I remember. Someone offered me a drink. I asked for Coke. Someone must have spiked my drink. The room started moving, swaying. I felt sick and weird and detached and then woke up the following lunch time next to some girl. I’d been sick in the night. She was sitting fully clothed on the bed, painting her nails, waiting for me to come round. It felt like a sledgehammer was bashing me when I sat up. My speech was sluggish and my arm was sore.’ Dan raised his sleeve, revealing a horse’s head. ‘This was on my arm when I looked down. A knight. Major chess piece. I got out of that house as quickly as I could, but not before Vincent had collared me on the stairs. Do you know what he said?’

  Naomi shook her head.

  ‘He said, “If you’re wise you’ll say not a word to anyone. See, I have players strategically placed and you don’t know where they are. I could use one at the hospital.” Then he eyed me, the way he does. “Nathan’s in. Consider my offer, won’t you.”’ Dan looked at her now. ‘That was the last time I went to his house. And now you know everything, and that’s how I know that this thing isn’t over and that’s why I protected you in the way I did, because I knew the threat was real. I know what he’s capable of.’

  Dan pulled his sleeve down and sunk into silence. He squeezed her to him and his heart continued to thump furiously against her face.

  <><><>

  It was after two-thirty when Naomi left the flat with Dan. He walked her to the car.

  ‘Will you be OK?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘I’m sorry I had to tell you all that stuff,’ he said gently, ‘but you have to know what kind of people they are. You’re safer for knowing. It’s creepy, but Solomon probably could have had us in prison if he’d wanted.’

  ‘You really think so?’

  Dan nodded. ‘Just assume that everything is as he wants it to be.’

  ‘You’re scaring me, Dan.’

  He pulled her into a hug. ‘I’m sorry. I just want you to take care. Go back to college in the new year, work hard, keep a low profile. Trust no one. I intend to do the same.’

  ‘How’s your work going at the hospital?’

  ‘Fine,’ he said, squeezing her. ‘I’m scared that I won’t see you again.’

  ‘You will.’ She looked up at him. He leant down to kiss her forehead, then her eyelids, then her nose and lips. ‘I promise,’ she laughed.

  ‘So where’s home?’

  ‘I feel an idiot saying this, but I’m sworn to secrecy for now.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Really. It got that bad with journalists. And after Nathan got in, I was relieved to get out of the old house. I’ll tell you as soon as I can.’

  ‘Fair enough. Well, safe journey to your secret location, and happy Christmas.’

  ‘And you. I’ll call you tomorrow.’

  He grinned and reluctantly released her. ‘OK.’

  She got in the car, reversed and pulled away. Dan waved until she was out of view.

  The air was dense with mist. She guided the car through peaceful, residential streets. Lights twinkled in windows, in trees and bushes, a million bulbs brightening the night. As she found the main road, she noticed a car behind her. Just one. There was nothing coming towards her at all.

  She hoped she could remember how to get home. She switched the radio on for company. Silent Night was being sung by a choir on Classic FM. Apt, except a little voice in her head made the night noisier than it really was. It kept telling her to check her mirror. Ten minutes went by. She’d made four turns and the car was still tailing her. Not close, but close enough.

  She was blind to the make and model, the body or bodies in the car. Just a pair of white lights glaring steadily whenever she glanced in the mirror. Always there. The mist cleared a little as she drove nervously on. Three gentle carols went by. She wasn’t really listening. She pulled her phone from her pocket and divided her attention between the road and searching for Dan’s number. Her hand shook as she single-handedly called him.

  ‘Hey, Naomi,’ Dan said.

  ‘I think someone’s following me.’ Her voice shook too.

  ‘What? Are you sure?’

  ‘Not a hundred percent no, but the roads are empty except for this one car. I’ve made four turns and it’s still behind me.’

  ‘Have you got the central locking on?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Find a safe place to pull over and let it pass.’

  ‘And if it doesn’t?’

  ‘Chances are it will. Shall I stay on the line while you sto
p, or do you want to call me back?’

  ‘I don’t know, Dan.’

  The lights suddenly caught her attention in the mirror. They were silently flashing now, in blue across the top. Then the headlights flashed too, and the thing was signalling to pull over, right behind her.

  ‘Crap, it’s a police car. It’s pulling in behind me. I’d better go.’

  ‘Don’t get out of the car.’

  She cut Dan off and put her phone away and crept to a stop at the side of the dead road. She sat, gripping the steering wheel with both hands, a film of sweat in her palms. The car pulled up behind her. The lights dimmed. She watched a pair of dark legs emerge from the car and walk towards her. She checked the doors were locked. He came alongside the window and she zipped it to half way down.

  ‘Are you the owner of this vehicle?’

  Naomi shook her head. ‘No, it’s my sister’s car.’

  ‘Are you insured to drive it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I’m PC Jake Shearing. Are you Naomi Hamilton?’

  Oh great! ‘That’s right.’

  ‘I thought I recognised you. I saw you using your phone, Miss Hamilton. Do you admit to doing that?’

  ‘Yes, sorry, I was actually worried that I was being followed. I’ve just come from . . . my friend’s house and I rang him because I was worried, that’s all. Everyone else will be in bed, so he was the only person I could call.’

  ‘And by friend, you mean?’

  There was a minor argument in her head, but the truth won. ‘Dan Stone.’

  Silence. ‘I see. Do you realise how dangerous it is to be distracted when you’re driving?’

  Don’t distract me by following me then, idiot. ‘Yes, I realise it was stupid.’

  ‘If you saw the statistics about deaths and accidents on the road due to mobile phone use, I’m sure you’d think twice, Miss Hamilton.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, for something to say. Why not pull the sympathy card? ‘I just wanted to get home safely. It’s been a difficult time, you know?’

  ‘I’ll tell you what,’ he said, leaning forward, ‘I’m going to give you a warning this time, OK?’ She nodded gratefully, just wanted to leave. ‘But my colleague, PC Marshall and I,’ he jabbed a thumb behind him, ‘will escort you home.’ He finished with a smile.