Crazy in Love (Lovestruck Series)

by Lane Hart

  With my free hand, I ease my phone from my pocket, quickly flip to the app, and press the red button right before Reagan moans my name and trembles with her release still clutching my shoulders so tightly in her fists she’s probably wrinkling my dress shirt.

  She’s still gasping for breath when her hazy eyes blink open and she sees my phone in my hand.

  “What…what are you doing?” she asks, dropping her hands from me to wrap her arms protectively around her breasts to cover them. The hurt in her voice and her moisture-filled eyes instantly make me feel ashamed of doubting her.

  “You’re not the first girl who has wanted this from me, and I can’t blindly trust you,” I tell her. “But I swear to you, Reagan, no one will ever see this video unless you try to screw me over.”

  Her bottom lip trembles, and then she pushes off the desk, grabs her dress from the floor and hastily pulls it back on, maybe even inside out. She doesn’t look at me again, and knowing I’ve made her so upset is like an agonizing weight crushing down on me.

  “Reagan,” I say as she starts for the door. She reaches for the knob. And when it doesn’t open because it’s still locked, her bare shoulders hunch forward and the first sob wretches free, more painful to my ears than a fucking pickaxe.

  My arms are wrapped around her before I even realize it, so instinctual it is for me needing to comfort her, hating myself for doing this to her. I’m thankful when she doesn’t pull away. She just rests her forehead against the door and lets me hold her while she cries.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmur in her ear. “Please forgive me.”

  Elbowing me in the gut to urge me to let her go, which I totally deserved, she flips the lock, yanks open the door, and then she’s gone.

  …

  Reagan

  I collapse to my knees under the oak tree across from the English building, unable to make it back to my apartment as the tears pour down my face.

  This is a disaster. Beyond disaster. What was I thinking? That I could just waltz up to my professor and he would fuck me on his desk so we could live happily ever after? This is definitely not a fairy tale. At the moment it feels more like a nightmare and that the love of my life just brutally stabbed me over and over again in my chest. I think if he had done that it would be less surprising than the disgustingly low thing he actually did.

  He recorded me. Naked, while riding his fingers. The first time a man’s ever touched me in such an intimate way, and now it’s tainted.

  Jeez. I really need a cell phone in times like these to call Josie and ask her what the hell I should do now. I know where I’m supposed to be going, my photography class, but I can’t, not like this. Remembering I don’t even have any panties on makes me cry even harder. When I wipe the tears away, I realize the sewn floral pattern on my black dress is inside out. God, I’m a freakin’ mess. Stupid love potion. So far, all it’s done is nearly killed my professor and embarrassed me in front of him. Then I remember the look on his face, the heat in his sapphire eyes when he unzipped his pants, like his life depended on me giving him relief. And I wanted to, more than anything.

  He had me coming undone before he even took my dress and panties off or touched me. After that, I surrendered to him, and was even ready to beg him to take me right there on his desk when I saw the phone in his hand. I’ve never felt so vulnerable.

  “Are you okay?”

  I lift my head and brush my hair out of my face to see a girl looking down at me with a worried expression on her face. No wonder. I’m such a mess, having a breakdown in the middle of campus.

  “Yeah, thanks,” I tell her, wiping away the tears. “Do you know where I can find a cell phone?” I ask.

  “Ah, I have one, if you need to borrow it,” she replies.

  “Oh, no. I mean, like where they sell them?”

  “Sure, yeah. There’s a cellular store down on Lawndale where it crosses Battleground.”

  “Got it, thanks,” I tell her with as much of a smile as I can make.

  “No problem. Hope you feel better,” she says before walking away.

  Needing to get home to change and put myself back together, maybe find some underwear, I use the tree trunk to pull myself up to my feet. Unable to help myself, I glance over my shoulder, far across the courtyard to the Communications building where Gage’s office is, trying to figure out what to do now that everything is more complicated than I ever imagined. That’s when I spot him, elbows on his knees, head hanging in his hands. And even after everything, my heart races and my feet still feel the urge to take me closer to him, needing to be near him. I had no idea I could begin to love someone and hate them at the same time. But he hurt me, so for now I have no choice but to walk away from him until I figure all this out.

  …

  “Holy shit, girl. Are you okay?” Josie asks when she walks up to her apartment and I’m sitting on the stoop in a clean, green dress with matching panties, freshly showered, but still feeling…dirty.

  “No,” I tell her. “But look, I got a cell phone.” I hold up the fancy new device for her to see.

  “Now I’m seriously worried about you,” she says with her mouth hanging open. “Come on, let’s have some ice cream while you spill.” Offering me a hand, she helps me up, and suddenly it feels like I’m an old, frail woman, barely able to move. My heart is heavy, making it hard for the rest of my body to carry the weight around.

  As soon as I’m inside Josie’s apartment, I flop down on the sofa and lay my head over on the arm cushion.

  “Bad day?” she asks from the kitchen where I hear the clatter of bowls and spoons.

  “You have no idea.”

  “Love potion spank you in the ass like I warned you?” she asks with a giggle.

  “Pretty much,” I mutter into the cushion.

  When Josie eventually brings me a bowl of vanilla and strawberry ice cream, since she knows I don’t like chocolate, I sit up to accept it and dig in. The coolness instantly seems to relive the burning ache in my belly, at least for a few minutes.

  “So,” Josie prompts. “What’s going on?”

  “Gage is…is sort of a dick,” I admit, making Josie snort between bites of her own dessert.

  “Oh, chica. Lawson is too, but now I kind of love that about him.”

  “He has a video of me naked, sitting on the desk in his office with his fingers inside me,” I tell her, and she has to juggle her bowl to keep from dropping it.

  “Da fuck?” she asks with her jaw hanging open in shock. “Start from the beginning, please.”

  “So, this morning I go to his office as he asked, and that’s when he says we can’t, um, be together until after I graduate and I’m no longer his student.”

  “Screw that,” she says. “You’ve gotta have the dick before then.”

  “I know,” I tell her between spoonfuls of ice cream. “But he wasn’t having any of it, not until I sort of fudged and said I was trying to get in his pants to help my grade.”

  Josie blinks at me in silent disapproval before she speaks again. “Why the hell would you tell him that? Now he probably thinks you’re a gigantic slut.”

  “Ugh, I know,” I admit, covering my eyes so I don’t have to keep seeing that look on her face. “I didn’t have any other choice. What was I supposed to say, that I drank a love potion and he has to fuck me before noon on Sunday.”

  “Hmm,” she mutters. “I guess that would sound sort of nutty.”

  “Sort of? It would make me sound insane.”

  “True,” she nods in agreement as she shovels more ice cream into her mouth. “So then what happened?”

  “Ah, I kissed him, grabbed his ass as you suggested, and, yes, he liked it a lot. Next thing I know, he’s unzipping his pants, and I’m giving him a hand job. Then, he’s taking my clothes off, and I’m putty in his very capable hands before he fingers me and I come screaming his name, only to realize he was recording it all.”

  “Oh wow,” Josie says with a shake of her blonde
head. “That is…”

  “Revolting,” I reply at the same time she says, “So hot!”

  “You really think that’s hot?” I ask, completely stunned by her approval. “He violated my trust after putting me in a compromising position.”

  “Did he say why he wanted a DIY porno?” she asks.

  “Um, well, sort of. I was freaking out, but I think he tried to say it was because he didn’t trust me.”

  “Ohhh,” she replies with a nod. “Makes sense.”

  “What makes sense? Are you listening to me at all? Why are you taking his side?” I ask indignantly with a shove to her shoulder.

  “I’m not taking his side. I could just see why, as a teacher who was just told by a student that she wanted to fuck him for a better grade, that he could be hesitant about your motives. You know, like you’ll blackmail him or report him after you get what you want from him.”

  “Oh,” I mutter as I think through that explanation. “You think that’s why?”

  “Yes, definitely. Think about it from his point of view,” she says. “Would you trust the student you were having an affair with?”

  “But I’m his soulmate!” I exclaim, jumping to my feet and setting the now empty ice cream bowl down on Josie’s coffee table. “Why doesn’t he trust me?”

  “He doesn’t know that yet, silly,” Josie replies. “All he knows is that you, his student, almost killed him with an allergic reaction yesterday, and now you tell him you want to slut it up with him for a better grade. Of course he thinks you’re shady.”

  “Oh my God,” I groan in understanding as I pace around her living room furniture. “I’m nothing but a conniving little whore to him.”

  “Yeah, and that’s all on you,” Josie says oh so helpfully.

  About that time, there’s a knock on the front door, making Josie squeal as she slams down her ice cream bowl on the coffee table and flies off the couch to answer it. No surprise, Lawson’s on the other side, and he has Josie’s legs around his waist, kissing her before the door shuts behind him.

  “Company,” it sounds like Josie says against his lips before he glances around, spots me, and lets her slide down his body. Aw, how sweet. The two of them are so in love with each other that they can’t keep their hands off. I’m such a jellyfish.

  “Lawson, this is my best friend Reagan. Reagan, this is my boyfriend Lawson,” Josie says when she makes introductions.

  “Nice to finally meet you, Lawson,” I tell him, walking over to shake his hand. Wow, Josie wasn’t lying. The man is blond and beautiful with a rugged edge that only makes him more appealing.

  “You too,” he says with a wide grin. “So you’re the drinker?”

  “Huh?” I ask.

  “You drank the love potion or whatever?” he asks.

  “Oh, yeah,” I answer, my shoulders slumping with the reminder.

  “Trouble with the teacher you’re trying to bone in a week?”

  “Lawson!” Josie chastises, swatting at his broad chest playfully.

  “Yeah, it’s not as easy as I thought it would be,” I admit, going back over to flop out on the sofa.

  “Right, and we have to help her,” Josie says to Lawson before she follows me back into the living room. She sits next to me and rubs my arm comfortingly.

  “How? How are you gonna help me?” I ask.

  “With advice and, you know, pointers on getting it in,” she responds. “So, when will you see him again?”

  “Um, tomorrow morning in class, I guess,” I answer.

  “Great! So we need to find you something to wear that will make him think about sex!” Josie says, practically bouncing.

  “Short skirt,” Lawson says from the kitchen where he’s grabbing a beer from the fridge. “One of those ones with pleats, if you know what I mean.”

  “What do you mean?” Josie asks with a raised blonde eyebrow.

  “He’s a teacher, right? Gotta play on the naughty schoolgirl fantasy he’s bound to have had at least once in his profession.”

  “You think so?” Josie asks.

  “Oh yeah,” Lawson replies with a grin. “I’ve had that fantasy, and I’m not even a fucking teacher.”

  “Okay, so I need a pleated skirt,” I say. “No hose?” I ask him.

  “Jesus no! No panties either,” Lawson replies when he joins us in the living room, taking a seat in the chair. “Oh and throw on some really high heels like Josie wears,” he adds with a wink in her direction.

  “You can borrow some of mine, but I don’t think I have any of those skirts,” she responds.

  “You should both go shopping for one of those, like, right now,” Lawson suggests.

  “Okay, genius, where does one find such a skirt?” Josie asks.

  “Ah, duh, the sex shop,” he says.

  “I can’t wear something from there to school,” I say in response.

  “If you want to screw your professor you can,” Lawson replies. He makes a valid point.

  “So, I need to dress slutty. What else?” I ask them.

  “Blow him.”

  “Lawson!” Josie exclaims after his vulgar suggestion.

  “You want a man thinking about fucking, well, that’s the very best way.”

  “Oh my God,” Josie says with a shake of her head, her cheeks turning pink. Mine are already well on their way to burgundy since all of this is so new to me.

  “I, ah, don’t know how,” I admit. “Today was my first hand job, and I’m not sure how it was.”

  “Did he come?” Josie asks with a snort. “If so, I’d say you did okay.”

  “There’s really only one thing you need to do to pull off an awesome hand job,” Lawson says as he sips his beer.

  “And what exactly is that?” Josie asks with her forehead scrunched in confusion.

  “Use your mouth,” Lawson answers with a grin, making us both laugh.

  “No, but seriously,” I say. “Where do I even start with all…that?”

  “There’s no wrong way to suck a dick,” Lawson tells us. “Two steps. Open mouth, insert cock.”

  “Ooh! I have a banana,” Josie exclaims before she jumps off the sofa and heads into the kitchen. I follow her, wondering what exactly she plans to do with a banana. She grabs one from a fruit basket, peels it, and then I find out.

  “Usually, I start by licking around the tip,” she says before her tongue darts out and she flicks it over the rounded top of the fruit a few times. “Then I might run my tongue up and down the veins, teasing him a little. Be sure to use your hand to jerk him off while your mouth works him over.” She demonstrates those tasks with the yellow fruit. “When he’s good and worked up, I’ll start by sucking on just the head before working my mouth lower, up and down until I take as much as my gag reflex allows,” she explains. “Oh, and don’t forget to play with his balls in your free hand, you know, cup them, rolling them around in your palm.”

  Lawson suddenly sweeps into the kitchen out of nowhere, scoops Josie up in his arms, and then they, and her banana, disappear toward the bedroom. “Meet you at Adam and Eve’s in about half an hour,” Josie calls out to me. “An hour!” Lawson amends. When I hear the bedroom door close, I know I’ve been dismissed.

  Well, that banana lesson was informative.

  I go ahead and make my way to the sex shop, venturing inside to see what all I’ve been missing. Apparently, a lot.

  Chapter Six

  Gage

  I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my life. Last night I couldn’t sleep. I felt so guilty about Reagan. And then every time I turned on my phone to delete the video of her, my hand made its way down to my cock, and then I was jerking off to it instead. Over and over, at least three times before I finally turned the phone off and tried fretfully to sleep.

  This morning, I’ve already had two cups of coffee, but the caffeine doesn’t seem to be helping me get any more awake. I’m like a zombie carrying my shoulder briefcase to the classroom. Not even the thought of see
ing Reagan gets me motivated this morning because I fucked up so much I’m worried she’s still angry at me, as she very well should be. I just don’t know if I can handle her beautiful brown eyes looking at me with contempt or disgust. But I have a job to do, so I head inside the classroom and put my things down on the table next to the lecture podium, my eyes flicking around the room quickly to see if she’s here yet.

  No, and fuck. What if she doesn’t show? What if I ran her off for good yesterday? God, I feel like a fucking fool and wish I could take it back. Those wonderful seconds of release by my hand were not worth losing her or knowing I upset her so much she went and cried in her usually peaceful place in the courtyard. And then at three o’clock, right on the dot, she didn’t show. For the first time I can ever remember, she didn’t take a few hours out of her day to soak up the sun and nature or whatever the hell it is she does out there. I hate myself for knowing I’m probably the reason she didn’t show up.

  After pulling out my notes on how to sabotage your personal brand on social media and draining more of my coffee from my travel mug, I take my place in front of the podium and look out into the class, ready to get started.