Crazy in Love (Lovestruck Series)

by Lane Hart

  “Nice try, but too late. You violated the university’s policy, and soon you’re gonna be looking for a new job while my attorney takes everything from you.”

  “I can find a new job, and you can have the fucking house along with everything else,” I tell her because none of those things matter to me.

  “Of course you can find a new job and a new house. But what about your little slut? Are you willing to let them take away her degree? She’s supposed to graduate in a week, right? It would be a shame for her to get expelled when she’s so close to getting her Master’s. How long does that take? Six, maybe seven years? All that time and effort for nothing.”

  “Fuck!” I shout, shoving Trish away from me as I sink down into my chair with my head in my hands. She can’t do that to Reagan. This is my fault, and I’ll take whatever consequences come my way, but I can’t let her hurt Reagan.

  “What do you want?” I eventually ask, unable to figure out a better way.

  “Stop seeing her, withdraw the petition for a divorce and let me move back in.”

  “No fucking way,” I say automatically.

  “Fine,” Trish says with a shrug before spinning on her high heels and starting for the door.

  No, no, no. She’ll do it; she’ll report us. I know she will because she’s an evil fucking bitch with nothing to lose while I…I have everything to lose.

  “I hate you,” I tell her through clenched teeth.

  “So we have a deal?” she asks, tossing her long red hair over her shoulder.

  “Yes,” I agree. That one word burns my throat like hot coals.

  Thinking quickly, there has got to be a way out of this if I can just get Trish to hold off until after graduation. Then, I’ll notify the faculty that I seduced Reagan and forced her to sleep with me to get a passing grade. She’ll remain innocent, get to keep her degree, and I can find another job, or maybe one of the summer reporter positions I applied for will become full time. I won’t even be at the house this summer while Trish is there. And then, once Reagan’s degree is safe, I can go forward with the divorce without her having any blackmail on us.

  I can do this. Reagan and I can survive what may seem like a clusterfuck now. Only, I can’t tell her the truth until it’s all over. I know Reagan, and I can almost bet that she would sacrifice herself and her Master’s for me because I would no doubt do the same for her.

  The worst part is going to be hurting her in the short term, convincing her I don’t want to be with her and then being away from her until everything eventually works out.

  Chapter Ten

  Reagan

  “Josie! I did it,” I tell my best friend on the phone after Gage leaves and I’m still lying in bed.

  “You did it?” she repeats. “So all is right in the world of happily ever afters?”

  “It is,” I confirm. “You gonna get one of the other girls to drink the potion?”

  “Yeah, Mallory won the rock, paper, scissors contest, so can I swing by and pick it up on the way to work?”

  “Sure, the sooner the better I guess,” I reply.

  “Okay, I’m on my way.”

  “Good and I can show you the new camera Gage bought me.”

  “Ooh, nice,” she replies. “See you soon!”

  After I get dressed, I pull out the camera and start playing around with it. Based on the instructions, it looks like I’m gonna have to invest in a computer to download the photos and all. That’s probably best since I’m about to enter the working world. Once I graduate I won’t have access to the school library. In fact, I need to finish packing because my lease ends right after graduation. I told my mom I would move back in with her until I can find a job.

  It’s gonna suck to be half an hour away from Gage, but hopefully we can visit each other pretty frequently since he won’t be teaching during the summer. Unless he has summer courses I don’t know about. I guess I need to ask him about what we’re gonna do next.

  Josie drops by but can’t stay long since she has to get to work. Half an hour later she texts me that Mallory downed the potion and then passed out right on the floor. She thankfully came to pretty quickly, telling them they all stunk like baby powder. I asked Josie if she was gonna be okay, and she said she was taking Mallory to the urgent care to get checked out. It’s so strange how the potion seems to affect everyone differently.

  At a quarter to noon, I start looking for Gage, who said he would pick me up and take me to lunch. I’m sort of hoping he changes his mind and decides to eat in.

  He knocks on the apartment door a few minutes before twelve; and as soon as I open up, I can tell something’s wrong. Gage’s shoulders slump forward, and he’s obviously angry about something based on his tightly clenched jaw.

  “You okay?” I ask. He shakes his head and looks over his shoulder at the parking lot before slipping past me into the apartment, stopping just inside the foyer.

  “We made a mistake,” he says, sucking all the air out of my lungs. Surely he doesn’t mean…

  “You and I shouldn’t have happened. You’re my student, and it was stupid of me to get involved with you,” he adds, his eyes lowered to the floor. “I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.”

  “Did…did something happen? Did someone at school find out…” I ask. I’m at a complete loss for why he’s pushing me away, saying it’s a mistake after the incredible night we shared together.

  “No. And I…I lied to you, this whole time. Trish and I are not divorced. She still lives with me.”

  “What?” I ask, leaning my shoulder against the entry wall to hold myself up. This can’t be happening. He lied to me? But we slept together within a week. The potion has to work!

  “I’ve told Trish about our affair, and she…she’s forgiven me, but we can’t see each other anymore,” he says, brutalizing my soul even more with those words.

  “I can’t believe this,” I mutter, unable to stop the tears from running down my cheeks. “You’re the one…we’re supposed to be together.”

  “I’m sorry I mislead you, Reagan. And I know you can’t forgive me now; but hopefully, in a few months, you’ll understand that I didn’t have a choice…”

  “Get out!” I scream at him. Without another word, he slips past me and out the door, leaving me broken and in so much pain I’m not sure I’ll ever recover.

  …

  Gage

  “Fuck!” I shout when I walk into my house after leaving Reagan so upset. I almost couldn’t do it. I was almost so selfish that I nearly told her the truth, knowing it would end with her giving up the degree she worked so hard for. I can’t let her do that for me, but it hurts so fucking much. The long table decorated with vases and other random shit at the entryway only reminds me of the evil woman I’m still married to, the one ruining everything perfect between the woman I love and me.

  With one sweep of my arm, I clear the entire table, knocking everything onto the floor, breaking the fragile items into a million pieces. That’s exactly how my entire life feels right now, like it’s shattered into so many pieces I’ll never be able to repair the damage.

  The destruction seems so fitting for what she’s done to me that I don’t stop at the table. I trash everything in the living room before heading down to our bedroom and doing the same there. She wants to live here with me so badly, I’ll ruin it for her and make her miserable.

  I finally stop the demolition when I notice the palm of my hand is bleeding. Wrapping a t-shirt around it, I slump down onto the bed, hating Trish but mainly myself for letting this happen. If I had just resisted, stayed away from Reagan for two more fucking weeks, we could be together. Now, Reagan may never forgive me, even after I tell her the truth. And I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to live without her in my life.

  Chapter Eleven

  Reagan

  I busy myself with studying, finishing my research paper and growing my social media presence so I can graduate. The alternative is hiding in my room and having my
tears create a depressing waterbed.

  For a week I’ve been avoiding the phone, refusing to talk to even Josie. Her relationship with Lawson is so perfect and happy that I don’t want to dump my pathetic pity party on her. It’ll only bring her down, and there’s no reason for anyone to suffer because of my sadness.

  Yesterday, I went to Gage’s --- Professor Daughton’s final exam and turned in my research paper, dreading facing him more than anything. The asshole didn’t even show up! He had one of the department’s teacher assistant’s come in and put the essay topic for our exam on the overhead projector – “What’s the most important aspect of social media that you’ve learned about this semester and how do you think it will affect your career?”

  My answer was that I learned not to believe anything I see online because it’s likely a fraud, trying to sucker in readers. Of course, I elaborated and gave actual examples, but I’m sure it’ll be clear to Gage, I mean, Professor Daughton that I was referring to lying men, and him in particular.

  Finished packing my last box in the kitchen, I tape it up, knowing that once I store it in my parents’ garage, I have no idea how long it will be before I have a place of my own. I don’t even know where I’ll end up, and at this point, I don’t care if it’s Kalamazoo. In fact, I’ve been sending out applications to west coast jobs just to get as far away from this campus as possible. My new laptop has been a huge help in that area. If only it could find me a man who wouldn’t break my heart, then I’d be set.

  Tomorrow’s my graduation, which means years of hard work; and yet I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Sure, I love photojournalism, seeing the images others take, capturing the most beautiful and horrific events as they happen. I’m just not sure that I’m cut out for the job. The pictures I take seem underwhelming, although that could be because I still use my dad’s old camera that uses actual film that has to be developed. To be serious about entering the real working world, I need to invest in a nice digital camera, sort of like the one Professor Daughton bought me that I returned to him by leaving it on top of his car. Maybe the camera and software were stolen or rained on. I’m so angry at him that I don’t really care. He lied to me; but even worse, he lied to his freaking wife. I thought he was a good and honest person just because he’s gorgeous. I was so fucking wrong, and now I need to try and move on.

  My mom and Josie will be at the graduation ceremony tomorrow, so I need to practice looking happy instead of like my world just fell apart.

  …

  Gage

  Sitting on the stage in my regalia in front of a thousand or so students, I feel like such a fucking fraud.

  So far Trish has kept up her part of our deal. She didn’t report Reagan and me, and she moved back in the same night I destroyed the house. Without comment, she called a cleaning agency, telling them we’d been robbed and asked them to clean up the mess. I’ve been sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms again, even though I want to be anywhere else but there. The only reason I didn’t get a hotel is that I wanted to try and play into Trish’s bullshit until today. After degrees have been conferred, I’m done. Wednesday morning I have to be in Philadelphia where I’ll be an assignment reporter for a television station over the next six to eight weeks while the usual reporter is recovering from knee replacement surgery. Tonight I’m leaving for Maryland, going home to visit my parents for a few days on the drive up. Trish doesn’t know, and I don’t plan to tell her.

  In my office, sealed in an envelope, is my notice to the Department Head of my resignation that I’ll leave for him after the ceremony today. I admit to an inappropriate relationship with a student but leave out Reagan’s name, hoping they won’t ever ask me for it. Since the faculty here doesn’t know about my job with WXMY in Philly, they probably won’t notify them of my resignation or the details. If I stick to the journalism world instead of academia, maybe it’ll stay buried since I have to make a living somehow.

  I look out into the sea of students, searching for Reagan. You would think that with so many girls dressed in the identical blue cap and gown that it would be an impossible feat to find her. She’s in the twentieth row back, and her eyes are on me until I catch them in the act. Sliding over to her left, she manages to use the girl in front of her to hide from my viewing pleasure. She’s angry. Of course she is! I can only pray that, with each day I’m away during the summer, I can find a solution to our dilemma and that her anger gradually diminishes until she’s ready to forgive me when I beg her to take me back.

  Chapter Twelve

  Reagan

  One morning during the first week of sleeping in my childhood bed at my parents’ house, a twin size for christsakes, I get a humdinger of a surprise.

  I assume I’m dreaming when I hear a man’s deep voice, but then the smell of cooking bacon hits me in the face like a fucking frying pan. The initial heave catches me totally off guard. I mean, I haven’t had animal meat in years, but it’s never actually made me physically ill.

  That’s the thought I’m contemplating with my head hanging in the toilet when some dude appears in the bathroom doorway.

  “Hey, you must be Reagan.”

  My head snaps up in shock to glare at the small, brown-haired man wearing jeans and a blinding bright orange polo. Where the fuck did he come from? The heaves are back in full force before I can ask.

  “Oh, no. Hey, Nance! You’re daughter’s throwing up in the bathroom! You said she didn’t eat meat, but you didn’t say it made her upchuck!”

  Jeez, who the hell is he, and what’s with the vomiting? Ugh. Josie got sick as soon as she drank the love potion. Maybe it just took a while to work its magic in me. Although, it hasn’t actually worked any magic since I’m alone, and Gage is…still married.

  “She doesn’t usually throw up around meat,” I hear my mom say when she joins the bathroom party. I really don’t need an audience for this.

  “Maybe she’s pregnant,” the random asshole in my mother’s house suggests, followed by a chuckle.

  “Don’t be silly,” my mom quickly responds in my defense. “I told you, Reagan’s a smart girl. She wouldn’t do something so careless. Right, sweetie?”

  “Oh my God,” I mutter right before another wave of retching hits. Once I can breathe again, I start counting the days backward, and then forward. No, it was just that one little time, so surely there’s no way…

  “Do you want me to see if I’ve got some Phenergan or something for nausea in the medicine cabinet?” my mom asks.

  I shake my head as the realization starts to really hit home because my first thought is to say no to any medicine.

  “I…I’m not sure if it’s safe for the baby,” I say, the words sound so foreign, but I know they’re true.

  “Baby!?!” my mom exclaims. “You are? You…you’re pregnant? Jesus, Reagan, when were you gonna tell me? Who the hell is the father?”

  Grabbing tissues, I blot at the tears on my cheeks. “I dunno, Mom. When were you gonna tell me who this fucker is?” I snap back at her.

  “Reagan! Watch your mouth, young lady!”

  “I’m not a young lady,” I counter. “I’m gonna be a…I’m gonna be a mother.”

  “Oh, sweetie,” she says when I break down into full out sobs, and then her arms are around me, comforting me.

  After a few minutes, when I can finally speak again, I tell her, “I need to take a test to be sure, but…”

  “Okay,” she says, getting to her feet. “Roy will go to the store and get one right now.”

  “Who the hell is Roy? Is he Roy?” I ask, pointing at the strange man still standing there in a shirt brighter than the sun. “Why is he in your house so freaking early?”

  “He came over so we could have breakfast and he could finally meet you,” my mom says as she walks over and stands next to him. “We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks.”

  “Like dating?” I ask in confusion.

  “Um, well, yeah,” she answers.

&
nbsp; “Sorry to meet you under these circumstances,” Roy says softly.

  This is all too much to comprehend. My mom is dating another man? I want to be happy for her, but it makes me feel like a traitor to my dad. Deep down I know this is good for her and makes me feel…hopeful, like maybe you can find love more than once in a lifetime.

  First things first, I need to be certain that I’m not overreacting on the baby issue. And if I am pregnant…oh fuck. How do I tell Gage? And what is he gonna tell his wife?

  …

  A few hours later, I leave the doctor’s office with a piece of paper that not only says I’m pregnant, verified from a blood test after a positive home test, but it also says the baby’s due February fourth. That’s right, in less than a year, I’m gonna be a mother, and that is…mind blowing.

  Getting in my car, my entire body is shaking with nervousness, so bad that my teeth are chattering. I’m on my way to campus to tell Gage the news. No more Professor Daughton. I think being his future baby’s mama means we’re on a first-name basis.

  Honestly, trying to figure out how to deal with him is scarier than the thought of having a baby. I think I’ll be a great mother, and I’m certain Gage will be a wonderful father. It’ll just be...excruciating to have him in our life but not be with him in the way I desperately want.

  The drive to campus passes in a blur, and then I’m standing in front of his dark office. Fuck, he’s not here. I wander around the mostly empty building since it’s summer break until I find another woman who works in the journalism department.

  “Do you know when Gage…I mean, Professor Daughton might be back?” I ask the white-haired lady I snuck up on, nearly scaring her to death when she jumps in the copy room.

  “Professor Daughton is no longer employed here,” she replies with her wrinkled nose in the air once she recovers.

  “Ah, what?”

  “He resigned. The pervert was screwing around with some student. Good riddance.”