Hearts Aglow

by Tracie Peterson

  Arjan stepped forward. “Nell, I’ve long wanted to say somethin’, but I haven’t had the nerve.”

  Euphanel began to tremble. This was the moment she’d hoped would come – the moment she could speak of her heart and he would speak of his. Her knees quaked beneath her petticoat and skirt. She hoped he wouldn’t notice the rustling of her dress. She met his eyes and knew that all she wanted was to spend her life enjoying his company. Why had she been so blind to this before now? Rutger had been gone for over four years now – it was time to move forward.

  “I’ve had something to say to you, as well,” she said in a quiet voice. “Something that I never thought I’d ever say.”

  He took a hesitant step, but kept his gaze fixed on her face. “Maybe you should speak first.”

  “I hardly know where to begin.” She hadn’t felt this nervous in ages. She tried to remember what she wanted to say – tried to remember what she’d said to Rutger when he’d declared his love for her. It was funny, but she couldn’t bring any of it to mind. Looking into Arjan’s eyes, she couldn’t think of anything but him.

  “Arjan . . . ” She let the name linger on the air.

  Without saying anything, he dropped the basket and stepped forward. Taking a hold of her, he whispered her name. “Nell.”

  She let him draw her into his embrace. Slowly she lifted her face to meet his. He hesitated only a moment, then lightly touched his lips to hers. Time seemed to stand still and Euphanel lost herself in the kiss. For so long, she had believed herself beyond love. When Rutger had died, she was sure that she had buried her heart in the grave with him. That her days of loving and being loved were over.

  She’d been wrong, and she was glad.

  The idea of giving her heart to a stranger was something she couldn’t fathom, but loving Arjan was easy. She trusted him more than anyone. They shared the same history – they knew each other’s likes and dislikes, fears and hopes.

  He trailed kisses along her mouth and jaw. “Oh, Euphanel, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

  She pulled back slightly. Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. Putting her hand up to touch his cheek, she shook her head. “I don’t know what to say – to do. This is unexpected to me . . . well, not completely. Seems like folks of late have been telling me how you cared for me. I guess I was the last to know.”

  A strange look crossed Arjan’s face. “I never wanted you to know while Rutger was living. I never wanted him to know. It wasn’t right to be in love with my brother’s wife. I used to pray that God would take that feeling from my heart and for a long time I was able to keep my mind on my work. I wouldn’t have ever done anything to dishonor you or him. I loved you both too much for that.”

  “I know. I never even suspected,” Euphanel said. “I don’t think Rutger knew, either.”

  “I only wanted to do right by both of you. I want to do right by you now.” He covered her hand with his own. “Marry me, Nell.”

  She nodded. “I want to marry you.”

  He grinned. “Truly?”

  Euphanel pulled away and reached down for the basket. She hadn’t felt this good in a long, long while. Straightening, she smiled. “Truly. I might tease about a great many things, but falling in love for a second time isn’t one of them.”

  “Well, look at that,” G.W. said, nudging Rob. His brother had already told him what Arjan had planned. “Looks like he wasted no time.” The brothers exchanged a grin at the sight of their uncle and mother walking hand in hand.

  “What are you two prattling on about?” Deborah asked, coming to stand beside them on the porch. She looked around G.W.’s shoulder. “Oh, I see.”

  G.W. turned to her. “I guess there will be no livin’ with you now.”

  “Why do you say that?” Deborah looked at him oddly.

  “Well, you were the one who told me this was comin’ our way. Rob said that Uncle Arjan meant to propose to Ma.”

  She gave a clap and giggle. “Oh, this is a wonderful day. What a grand celebration we’ll have!”

  Mother and Arjan approached and looked at the threesome on the porch. Arjan broke into a smile. “She said yes, if that’s what you’re wonderin’.”

  Deborah hurried down the porch steps. She went to embrace her mother. “I’m so happy.” She reached out to hug Arjan, as well. “We should celebrate.”

  “I’m glad you’re pleased,” Mother said, looking rather sheepish. “I don’t suppose it will take long for everyone to hear the news.”

  “Not around here.” G.W. gave Mother a kiss on the cheek and smiled back at Arjan. “Rob said you asked for our blessin’, and you surely have it.”

  “I told your mother I wanted to give you and Lizzie my cabin. You don’t have to take it, as there is plenty of room here, but I thought you might like the privacy.”

  “That’s generous,” G.W. replied. “I think we’d like that very much.”

  “When is the wedding to be?” Deborah asked. “We have to make you a dress and bake a cake and – ”

  “Now, hold on,” Mother said. “There needn’t be a lot of fuss. Arjan and I just plan to make it a quiet affair. We prefer it that way and hope you will understand.”

  G.W. took hold of Deborah’s shoulders. “She understands and so do we. We’ll do it your way.”

  “But we could – ”

  “Deborah, your ma wants it this way, and whatever makes her happy makes me happy.” Uncle Arjan looked to G.W. and then to Rob. “I’m sure you boys understand, since you have gals you’ve come to care for.”

  G.W. saw a joy in his mother’s eyes that he’d not seen since Father died. The pain he’d felt in his father’s death – the way he’d blamed himself for the accident – seemed to fade a bit more. He felt a sense of peace in knowing that she would love again and be cared for.

  He thought of Lizzie and the children. Life was good, and this only served to make it better.

  CHAPTER 21

  “I’m so glad you could both come,” Jael told Lizzie and Deborah. “I wasn’t sure you could get away from the babies, and I knew Stuart would never approve of my driving out to see you.”

  “Mother is watching the twins,” Deborah offered. “What’s wrong?”

  Jael motioned for them to have a seat and lowered her voice. “Shh.” They were in the front parlor of the boardinghouse, and Mrs. O’Neal, the housekeeper, had a penchant for gossip. “I don’t wish for us to be overheard. I told Mrs. O’Neal that we were going to have tea and discuss old times. Do you remember when we were in Philadelphia?”

  Deborah looked to Lizzie and then back to Jael. “Of course. What about it?”

  “We were happy and innocent then,” Jael said rather sadly. “Life was different and we were different.”

  “That’s true enough,” Lizzie replied. “It seems like a million years ago.”

  Jael nodded. “There. That should suffice. I didn’t wish to be a liar. We have discussed old times. Now we need to talk about the current state of our lives.”

  “Are you all right? Has something happened?” Deborah asked in a whisper.

  “I’m not sure. I overheard Stuart and Father talking. I had hoped that Stuart was past his jealousy and anger toward your family, Deborah. He never speaks of it to me, so I presumed it had passed. I was wrong, however. I believe Stuart has underhanded plans when it comes to your family’s well-being.”

  “But how could he possibly harm my family?” Deborah asked, looking to Lizzie. “Can you imagine anything he might do?”

  “I can imagine a great deal,” Lizzie replied. “I wouldn’t put anything past him.”

  Jael moved closer to her friends. “I don’t know what he has planned, but he was speaking to Father about some of their business dealings and how he never took on a project without a purpose. When Father asked him what his purpose was in coming to Texas, Stuart said he couldn’t explain in full because a good part of it was personal.”

  Deborah felt her brow
s knit closer. “Personal? Did he say more?”

  “Part of it I couldn’t make out. They weren’t exactly speaking freely. I pretended to be busy with something else on the far side of the room, hoping they would continue.”

  “And did they?” Lizzie questioned.

  Jael looked rather worried and glanced around the parlor, as if the walls themselves had ears. She motioned for the girls to come closer. “I think Stuart means to exact revenge on your family. I don’t yet know how, but the last thing I heard him mutter was something about how when he needed to teach someone a lesson, he very well knew how.”

  Deborah straightened. “That could mean almost anything. It certainly needn’t be about us.”

  “Still, Jael is right. It could be, and for that reason we should warn the men,” Lizzie replied.

  There was wisdom in what Lizzie said. And Deborah worried about her as much as the rest of the family. Lizzie was the one who had rejected Stuart. If he was in the business of holding grudges, then Lizzie’s name was no doubt at the top of his list.

  A couple of men came into the parlor, deep in conversation. They didn’t seem to notice the women at all as they headed toward the open French doors that led to the smoking porch.

  “Seems to me that if the Negroes do not know how to mind their place in society, they deserve whatever punishment is meted out,” the taller of the two men declared.

  “I agree, Horace, but liquor was involved and that always serves to muddle men’s minds.”

  “Where the black man is concerned, I agree. There is no call for the Negro to be drinking. He hasn’t the constitution for it. Think of giving whiskey to a small child and there’s little difference.”

  They exited the house, oblivious to the women. Deborah shook her head. “What was that about?”

  Jael eased back in her chair. “Apparently some of the blacks were involved in an altercation at the white saloon. There was quite the fight, as I hear. The blacks were beaten severely and thrown unconscious onto the train tracks. Had someone not come along to find them, they might have been killed.”

  Deborah could hardly believe her ears. “That’s hideous. How can good Christian people act in such a manner?”

  “Perhaps they weren’t good Christian people – after all, they were, as I heard it told, quite drunk.”

  “That’s still no excuse to take a man’s life,” Lizzie said. “And just because they didn’t die this time doesn’t mean the next time won’t prove fatal.”

  “I wonder if Christopher knows about this,” Deborah said, getting to her feet. “I think I’ll go check in with him and see what the extent of the injuries were. I’m sure if anyone knows, it will be the company doctor.”

  “I’ll stay here and visit with Jael,” Lizzie told her. She glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner. “G.W. will be back for us in less than an hour. Don’t forget.”

  “I won’t.”

  Deborah hurried from the room, nearly running Mrs. O’Neal over as she scurried to get away from the open pocket doors. “Good day, Mrs. O’Neal,” Deborah called loudly. She hoped that would be enough to let Jael and Lizzie know the old woman was trying to overhear their conversation.

  Crossing the dusty street toward the commissary, Deborah found several black women standing at the bottom of the stairs. The blacks were given certain hours when they could shop in the commissary, and the women were waiting for their turn. Deborah thought it all nonsense. Why should the color of one’s skin dictate the ability to shop?

  She maneuvered past a group of children who were busy chasing after a cat and approached the doctor’s house. A strange feeling came over her as Deborah approached the front door. Something didn’t feel right, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  “Hello? Christopher?”

  She heard some shuffling and scuffing from the examination room. Mrs. Foster came through the door into the waiting room. “He ain’t here.”

  “Oh,” Deborah said, nodding. “I can wait.”

  “He ain’t here. He’s gone.”

  “On rounds?”

  Margaret Foster shook her head. “He’s gone to be with his brother. He left a letter for you. It’s on his desk. I’ll be handlin’ the sick now.”

  Deborah quickly moved past Mrs. Foster and picked up the letter from his desk.

  “When did he leave?” she asked, frustrated he hadn’t said good-bye.

  “Yesterday. Took the afternoon train out. Said he had business somewhere near Victoria.”

  “Indianola,” Deborah murmured, opening the sealed envelope.

  She moved away from the older woman and went to the window for better light. Christopher’s neat and orderly script spilled out across the pages.

  My dearest Deborah, I never intended to hurt you, the letter began. Deborah braced herself and continued to read.

  There is never an easy way to tell someone good-bye, but I feel I must – at least for now. I am going to Indianola to see Calvin and offer whatever assistance I can. The situation does not look hopeful. If they hang him, I will need to go to my mother and give her the news.She will never be able to bear this alone.

  Deborah could feel a lump rising in her throat.

  I have never cared for anyone as I have cared for you. It’s because of my feelings that I know now that I must release you from any attachment or loyalty you may feel you owe me. You deserve so much better, and I long for you to be happy.

  She slumped against the wall. Glancing up, she could see Mrs.Foster watching her. She quickly folded the letter and composed herself. “I need to go. My brother will be waiting to take me home.”

  Hurrying from the office, she found her vision blurred by tears. She wiped the dampness from her cheeks and went to where the family carriage awaited. G.W. was nowhere in sight, but she climbed into the back and opened the letter once again.

  “ ‘There are so many things I wish I could have told you,’ ” she whispered, reading more of his words. “ ‘So many things I should have said. I know this will be difficult to understand, but in my mind I was protecting you from the truth. Now, however, I see that selfishly I was protecting myself.’ ”

  Tears fell onto the page, causing the ink to run. Deborah held the letter away from her so that the wetness couldn’t destroy the words. Once her tears abated, she continued.

  I pray this letter will allow you to know that this decision was not easily made. I cannot hope that you will understand, but choices and decisions I’ve made make it impossible to continue our courtship.I don’t know if I will return to Perkinsville or not. A great deal will depend on my brother’s trial, but if I do not return, I want you to know that none of this was your fault. I accept full responsibility.

  She turned to the second page, feeling a sense of desperation that would not be stifled.

  When I saw the reaction of the Perkins sisters, I knew there would be trouble. Pastor Shattuck came to visit me shortly afterwards and told me that your reputation was threatened. I couldn’t bear that.

  Deborah felt livid. “Gossips. They had no right.”

  I never wanted this for you. I cannot be the cause of seeing your name smeared in gossip. I hope you will continue your studies in medicine. You have a gift that should not be discarded.

  No matter what, please always know that my feelings for you will never change. I will never love another as I have loved you.

  Christopher

  She stared at the page shaking her head. He’d never uttered words of love before. She’d felt the passion of his kiss, had known his concern and tenderness – but he’d always held something back. Folding the letter, Deborah fell back against the leather carriage seat and closed her eyes.

  This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. She’d known Christopher was troubled over the matter of his brother’s incarceration – knew too that his mother’s suffering was of constant concern to him. Still, she’d never expected him to just pack up and go without seeing her first – without explaining in pe
rson.

  “Ah, I see you’re here already,” G.W. said, climbing up to the seat. “I heard something in the hardware store about the doc leavin’. You know anything about it?”

  Deborah was grateful that he didn’t bother to look around and study her face. “I just found out myself.”

  “Seems strange he would just up and leave. I was talkin’ to some of the boys, and they said there was some kind of problem. Said the preacher was known to have gone and talked to him about some issue. You wouldn’t know about that, would you?”

  “I can imagine a lot of reasons the pastor would seek out Dr.

  Clayton.” She said it in such a way that she hoped he wouldn’t ask any more questions. She knew that Christopher didn’t want anyone else to know about his family and their problems. “Oh, Lizzie is still at the boardinghouse.”

  “We’ll pick her up on our way out.” G.W. took up the reins, then released the brake. “Walk on,” he called to the horses. “So what do you suppose the doc is up to?”

  Deborah tried to maintain a hold on her emotions. “He told me he needed to help his brother. He got into some trouble down in Indianola. I’m not really at liberty to say more.”

  “He’s a good man to go to the aid of his family.”

  Deborah did her best to wipe her tears and arrange her appearance. She hid the letter inside her blouse. There was no sense in having to explain it right then and there. Lizzie would suspect that something was wrong, but knowing her friend, she would wait to question her later or presume that Jael’s worries were the reason for her concern.

  G.W. brought the carriage to a stop at the boardinghouse walkway. Jael and Lizzie stepped from the porch and approached.

  “Did you have a good visit?” G.W. questioned, hopping down to help his wife into the carriage.

  “We did, but there is something we need to discuss,” Lizzie said. She turned to Jael and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for letting us know. We’ll talk soon – you must come for a visit.”