by Dani Hoots
I shook my head. What was I thinking? I couldn’t kill my own brother for a piece of gold, even if that gold meant I could live happily with my family without worry of slaving away in a mine again. The more I thought about it, the more I realized Ming didn’t even need half of that gold. He only had himself to support, and no family of his own, besides me. It wouldn’t be fair for him to have half of it, when I had to support both me and my wife and our two children. But he would still take half and waste it away in what? A month? A week? While if I had all of it, I would make sure it would last for the rest of my life. I shouldn’t have to take care of him, he was my older brother. He should have enough responsibility to take care of himself and not take me down with him when he is acting so immature. He didn’t deserve all that I had given him over the years and he didn’t deserve the gold that was in my hand now.
I began to think about the happy home I could have with Meilin. We would be able to hire a teacher for the children and they would be able to become smart and get better jobs when they grew old enough. I could afford it, and Meilin would never have to worry when shopping for food about how much to spend. She would feel more confident when she walked the streets and I would be able to open a shop, and sell my paintings in it. It would be a dream come true at last.
Ming had his head turned away from me. This was my chance, I would be doing the worst evil of all, but it would bring so much to my home that I couldn’t say no. Slowly, I picked up a rock and when he wasn’t looking, I smacked him in the back of the head with it. He went down with only one hit. I dropped a larger rock on his head, to make sure it looked like the tunnel had collapsed on him, and to make sure he was dead.
I fumbled back, my heart quickly beating in my chest as I gasped for air. I couldn’t believe what I had just done. My hands were shaking and I could barely see straight. I had just killed my one and only brother. How could I have done such a thing? It was pure evil. But the gold...
Looking back at the gold lying there on the ground, I knew it had to be done. I had to be able to support my family and not serve my duty under here every day, dying slowly inside the entire time I toiled away in the cave. No, now I could spend more time with my family and be happy for once. I deserved it and my family deserved it most of all. Ming had depended on my wealth for a while now, he had done wrong by me and it needed to change at this moment. I wouldn’t let him ride off of my wealth any longer.
I picked up the gold and placed it in my pocket. There wasn’t much rock to move still, so I quickly finished clearing the tunnel and dragged my dead brother out into the open air. Strangely, I didn’t feel as remorseful as I thought I would, just emotionally-hardened and even a bit cold, much like the stale air of this cave. As people saw me drag my brother out of the entrance, they helped me take his body into town, and offered me their saddened faces, and remorse for what had happened.
“It was truly terrible,” many said, “that such a great man could die so young.”
I nodded, as if what they said was true. They didn’t know him like I did. It wasn’t terrible, it was a blessing. A blessing that I had brought upon myself.
The funeral was set for only a couple days after the unfortunate incident. My family and I were the only ones, who had attended as they lowered the body into the ground. He didn’t have many friends, as he had many people he gambled with angry with him for never paying their dues and those who worked in the mines didn’t want to take a day off, in fear of what Charlie might do to them if they did. I no longer needed to worry about that.
The grief and guilt over the fact that I had been the one to cause his death, ate at me. I felt like a traitor, as I stood in front of his grave with my wife beside me who had tears streaming down her face. It was her that I felt I was betraying the most, acting as if I was a good brother and had done everything I could in my power to keep him safe. That was a lie and it tore me up inside. But an accident could have theoretically happened as we tried to leave he still could have died without my help. This was just desperate rationalization, wasn’t it?
I didn’t tell anyone the truth of what had happened, instead saying that a terrible earthquake had caused a rock to fall on his head. I didn’t want to go into any more detail than necessary with anyone, afraid that they may have suspected something else. I also didn’t want to get lost in the details, say one thing to one person, and another thing to someone else. I wasn’t a liar; I wasn’t my brother who lied to many people daily. It was hard for me to lie like this, but I knew that in order to keep my family safe, I had to do it. As for Meilin, she didn’t seem to suspect anything but the truth from me, which is what hurt me most. I didn’t see anyone from the mine other than a few fellow workers wandering the streets time-to-time, but we didn’t say much to one another besides. I never went back there, saying that my brother’s death left me in such a state of deep grief that it was impossible for me to ever return. No one knew that I had taken gold out of the mine and that I was prepared to sell it to the black market now for profit. I had to wait a few days in order to do so, in order not to raise any suspicion. I wasn’t sure who to trust anymore, even myself.
I had nightmares every night after the murder. I knew I would have remorse and grief, but I didn’t realize that the event would play over and over in my mind at night. Some times he would come to me as a ghost in my dreams, his face covered in blood, his body decaying. He would keep repeating the word ‘murderer’. I woke up in cold sweats more often than not, shaking and shivering. Meilin would ask what was the matter and I would just say it was from the horror of seeing my brother die before my eyes. It wasn’t a lie.
A week had passed and I had begun to think that it would be no trouble to sell the gold. I had heard of a place deep in Chinatown that bought gold for a great sum. This man was supposedly a collector of sorts and people always did as he asked. He had quite the reputation and no one messed with him, so I knew that the gold wouldn’t get tracked back to me. I just needed to tell my family a solid reason for going out.
“Meilin,” I called out. She came to where I was in our little home, her beautiful smile always on her face. My wife had always been at my side through the years, doing all she could to make sure life was fine for us. I owed her everything, especially after everything she had been through with me. She needed this money in order to not have to worry any longer. “I have to go pick up some things, something Ming asked me to do before he died. I will be back later.”
She nodded. “Please, be careful. I don’t think I can imagine losing you after all that has happened.”
“Don’t worry, I will be back in time, I promise.” I kissed her on the forehead and then left her standing there alone outside the house.
The nights had finally cooled off, and I was glad for it. I could feel the moonlight shinning down on me, as I walked through the streets. Not many people were out since it was so late in the night. Most that were left in the streets at this late hour were criminals or prostitutes.
I kept my head down, not wanting to bring unwanted attention to myself. I didn’t want to cause trouble, I just wanted to get the money for the piece of gold and be on my merry way. I jumped at any slight sound that came near me. Most of the time it was either a cat or mouse. No one that was out seemed to notice me, which I was thankful for.
I couldn’t believe my brother would travel out here every night. It was dangerous, not to mention stupid. I wondered about all the trouble he got into while he was out. Maybe I didn’t want to think about it. Although, if I knew about all the shame he brought on our family name, maybe I would have felt a little better about what I had done.
Was that true? Did what he do bring shame to my family? I wasn’t sure as to how he spent his nights, just that he always came back smelling of booze and his money mostly gone. It wasn’t hard putting two and two together, and others had said they had seen him talking to some people with bad reputations for gambling. I just wished for once he would have thought about his actions before doi
ng such a thing, but I was never that lucky. Even after everything, I felt tormented about killing him.
I reached the destination of a known man, who bought gold that was snuck out of the mines. The place seemed normal enough, like any other building in the area. I had never actually met the man before, but I knew my brother had done so on a few occasions, along with others working in the mine. If Charlie had ever found out, he would have whipped the men until they could no longer move. He would have been mad for having to find new workers. Charlie never seemed to think ahead when he hurt someone, how it would affect how many employees he had. He also seemed to always be angry, and hate us for no apparent reason. It didn’t matter any longer, I would never have to see his ugly face again. I knocked on the door and after a few moments, was let in.
The inside was like nothing I had ever seen before, not even back in my homeland of Fujian. Ornamental Chinese paintings were sprawled out across each wall, paintings of plum blossoms, of the diverse mountain ranges that were scattered across our country. They were a sight to see, such beautiful paintings that made me nostalgic for my homeland. The place was also littered with fine jade statues all along each wall. Buddha, ancient warriors and emperor statues, he had jade statues of them all. He even had every animal of the zodiac as well. Incense was also burning in a little dragon burner, making the room smell of sandalwood and jasmine. I couldn’t believe my eyes, it looked like a palace.
“Please, take a seat,” an elderly man motioned to the cushion on the floor. I bowed and did as he said. “I am Mengyao, what brings you to my humble office?”
I glanced around. If this was humble, I wanted to see what a non-humble home looked like. How I wished I could live like this. Even with the gold in my pocket, I couldn’t live this grand. I didn’t need to, though, all I wanted was to start up my painting shop and live a happy life with my wife. “I have some gold available, if you are willing to pay.”
He stared at me for a moment, smoking his pipe. “Let me see this gold.”
I pulled out the apple-sized chunk that I had found in the tunnel. His eyes widened as he laid his eyes upon it.
“And you found this?” he asked. It must have been one of the largest anyone has ever brought him, which made me quite happy. It meant he might pay more than what it was worth to have such a piece.
I nodded. “Yes, how much are you willing to pay?”
He motioned for me to hand him the gold. I did as he asked, knowing that he wanted to inspect it to make sure it was the real thing. I quietly waited for a response.
“Yes, this is the real thing. I don’t know how you got your hand on it, but it is indeed worth quite a pretty penny,” he took another breath of his pipe. “I will give you two thousand dollars.”
I about passed out from hearing the amount. It was enough to provide for my family for the rest of our lives. I didn’t even need to bring money in with my painting. It wouldn’t matter. I had no hesitation in answering. “I accept the offer.”
He laughed. “Of course you do. Now go, before I change my mind.”
I bowed in thanks and hurried off. One of his men paid for the gold and I was ready to start my life anew.
Making my way back to the house, I couldn’t wait to share the news with my wife. She had been working so hard with what we had, and now I could finally provide her with everything that she needed and has ever wanted. When we first married, we didn’t even have enough money for a real celebration. She made her dress out of old fabric she found and I wore one of my nicer pairs of working clothes. The ceremony took place at our home and the drink that we had provided for everyone, my brother had drank greedily, leaving barely enough for anyone else. Now, Meilin and I could finally live in peace, knowing our children wouldn’t have to go through the same hardship we had gone through any longer.
As I traveled down the lonely streets, as no one was out any longer, I began to hear something behind me. Tha-thunk. Tha-thunk. Tha-thunk. It sounded like something hopping. I glanced back behind myself, finding nothing that could be making that strange noise. I didn’t know what it could have been, but I hurried faster through the street in hopes of outrunning it. I didn’t need anything taking away these happy times for me that I long deserved.
Tha-thunk. Tha-thunk.
“Hui...” A faint voice called.
It sounded like my brother.
My heart began to beat faster, as I was practically running towards my house now. It wasn’t possible, that it could have been my brother calling to me, but I wasn’t about to stop to find out. He was dead, I had seen him be ceremoniously lowered into the ground. I couldn’t believe such a thing could happen, the idea that he was still alive in some tangible way. It was just my conscience playing a trick on me. I just had to get over this and realize I had saved my family from suffering in the long-run. I had to think of my children.
I made it back to the house without any more trouble. There was no more noise and there didn’t seem to be anything following me. I looked outside once more before I looked the door. It must have been my imagination that I had heard my brother. There was no possible way he could be walking around. Not after what I had done to him.
Meilin was still waiting up for me, making sure that I had returned unscathed. I kissed her as she greeted me, and looked around the room. It was small, smaller than quaint. I couldn’t wait to tell her the news that we could move out of this place and find someplace new to start up again. That we could live somewhere that didn’t have floors covered in dirt, or walls stained with the leaking rain, and a place that had a real kitchen and enough bedrooms for everyone.
“I’m so happy you are alright,” she said.
“There was nothing to worry about. I just had to find some of Ming’s last assets he left us. Look,” I held out my hand with the bag of cash. “He apparently had been saving up. We have enough to live on for a long while.”
Her eyes lit up as she shuffled through all the cash. “He left us all of that?”
“Yes,” I lied. “Apparently he had done some gambling and won a fortune. He had been keeping it away for a special occasion. Regretfully, we will never know what the exact occasion was.”
Meilin looked through the cash she had grabbed from my hand. “This is impossible. I can’t believe he did such a thing.”
My heart felt as if it had stopped. I should have known she wouldn’t believe my lie. I had been a fool. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, just having lived with him for so long, I can’t believe he would keep money like this without spending it. He must have been keeping it for something big.”
I nodded. “Yes, I recall him mentioning he wanted to move out. I guess so he could drink more. I didn’t think he would ever have enough money to do so, but I guess I was wrong.”
“He didn’t care much about saving, I agree,” Meilin said. “He must have just recently came about it, I doubt it would have lasted long,” she wrapped her arms around me. “This is great news, Hui. We can finally open that shop we have always wanted and you can paint.”
I nodded. Meilin knew my passion of painting, as I had tried to practice while in Fujian. I could never get time, though, having spent most of the day out in the field and we didn’t have enough money for candles or any sort of lighting at night. I squeezed her tight. “Yes, yes we can.”
“We will tell the children in the morning this wonderful news,” she kissed me on the lips. “We can finally afford the education we wanted to give them as well. We will finally have peace in this house.”
It made me glad to hear she thought that. She looked so happy now, and it made me feel warm inside, knowing I had brought it to her. It was worth the guilt I would be suffering until the day I died. It was worth making her happy.
I glanced out the window, swearing I had seen something move by the window. I just hoped she was right about the fact that we could live in peace now.
We explained to the children what was going on, that we no
longer had to live in the shack, but were able to move to a real home with more than two rooms. We also told them that I had no longer needed to work in the mines, but was able to run a shop below our home. They didn’t quite understand it all, but they were happy that they now had enough food and could buy things that they all dreamed of having. They also would be getting a tutor, a woman Meilin knew from town. She said she was one of the best in the area and the woman could teach them writing, English, Mandarin, history, and American culture. I felt so proud of them, knowing they would be able to do great in this world with such a tutor.
Meilin and I purchased a shop with a home on the second floor. We would be able to sell trinkets and my paintings on the first floor and there was room for a studio in the back. There was also a room that we could use for the children to be taught by their tutor. It didn’t cost much compared to what we had, and I was much thankful for that. We still had plenty left to live off of for a while.
I began my work painting, just as I had always wanted to do. I set up shop, with my fine paint brushes I could now afford, along with the rice paper I’d always dreamed of having the means to buy, and I began painting.
It took a while to get used the elegant equipment, compared to the regular make-shift brush and cheap dye I had been using when I could, which was rare, but since I had been practicing any chance I could, I picked it up quickly.
I painted many scenes from the farm I had worked on so many years ago. I painted animals, flowers, landscape, even a picture of my wife, which I kept hanged in my studio. I enjoyed working my own hours, my wife coming and watching me whenever she wanted, and Li and Ruoxi running around when they weren’t studying. I let them paint some, teaching them the technique behind it. They were still too young to be interested fully, but I hoped one day they would take to it. It would only be a matter of time.
