by Dani Hoots
Recalling the first time I tried to paint, all I had were some sticks, grass, mud, and a scrap piece of fabric. I had seen someone painting when my father and I had gone to the market to sell some of our Lotus root and flowers. I wanted to stand there and watch the artist, but my father made me leave with him. That night, I grabbed what few things I had and tried to paint. It didn’t turn out as I had envisioned it, of course, I was too young. If I remembered correctly, it was just some lines that I thought looked like a cow. My father caught me and scowled at me for ruining perfectly good fabric. I didn’t do any art until later in life, when I knew I wouldn’t be caught by my parents, or when Meilin and I were married. She believed in me and always supported me when I spent what little time I had trying to master the craft. Now I had all the time in the world.
We had a few customers buy the paintings which I was thankful for. I asked a relatively high price for them, but they still accepted the offer. Business kept growing and I was painting every day for as long as I could.
One night, I was working late on a painting of the mountainscape I remembered from when I was just a young boy, when I heard something in the shop. I put the brush down and stood up. It was probably just my imagination, but I had to make sure everything was fine. I was sure that I had locked up but one could never be too careful.
I quietly stepped into the main area of the shop to find everything as it was. Nothing seemed to be shifted out-of-place, but I checked around again just to make sure for my own sanity.
“Hui...”
It was him, it was my brother. My heart began to race in my chest. It couldn’t be possible. I searched all around, but I didn’t see any trace of him.
“Hui...”
The sound was coming from outside. I quickly raced out into the street to find only a single figure out in the night.
And it indeed was my brother.
“Ming, how is it possible?” I explained. “I buried you, how are you here?”
“My soul cannot go to the afterlife, because of you, brother. You murdered me with evil intent. I was killed wrongfully and now my soul will wander this world for thousands of years to come. And it was all because of you and your selfish greed.”
I took a look at him again. His skin was pale blue, dark crusted blood running down the side of his head, leaving some of his black hair crusted with blood. His once braided hair was disheveled, strands sticking out every which way. His nails were like claws, having seemed that they had grown as his skin had shrunken back on his skin.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. I knew what he was, I had heard stories growing up of people who died and came back to life. I jabbed my finger at him, petrified. “You... you are a jiangshi!”
“That is right brother, and it’s all because of you!”
I shook my head. “No, it wasn’t my fault. I needed to support my family, I had to take the gold for myself.”
“You could have shared it with me and you know it, brother,” Ming shot back, his eyes a glowing yellow, blood lines radiating from the pupils. His teeth seemed sharper as well, from what I could see as he had opened his mouth. He even seemed a bit more bloated.
“No, I had to do it, so then I would have enough to live on. There wasn’t enough for all of us. You know that, you know you would have wasted it all away!” I said.
“You mean there wasn’t enough for you to begin your art career. You would have been fine with just half and you knew it!”
I shook my head. “No, I had to provide for my family. You would have been selfish and tried to use mine as well!”
My brother began to move towards me, stiff-like in his steps. As his body decayed, it made it harder for the creature to move smoothly. “No, brother, I wouldn’t have. Now you must pay the price!”
“What do you mean?” I gasped.
Ming started hopping towards me, as if he were going to attack. I hurried back into the shop and locked the door behind me. He tapped his long nail on the door. The sound made me shudder. My very breath felt winded by the terror of what I had just seen.
“You can run brother, but you will not get away from your destiny in the end!” he called from outside the door. I heard an eerie laughter, and then all was silent again.
I looked out the window and saw nothing on the street. He had left for now. I took a deep breath, trying to slow down my heart beat.
My brother was back from the dead, and he was going to do everything he could to destroy my life.
The night went by and I never saw any trace of my brother again. I wondered if it had really been a dream, seeing him alive as a jiangshi. I had been having nightmares about him still, haunting me. Maybe I had fallen asleep at my desk and it was all just another nightmare. I wanted to believe that to be true, but I had seen him. And I didn’t sleep that night after. I couldn’t, in fear that he would return and take his revenge out on me. I also had to stay awake and protect my wife and children. I couldn’t let a beast such as that get to them.
Meilin asked why I never came to bed and I just said it was because I had to finish the painting, which still laid where I had left it when Ming came for me. I didn’t work on it after he came, but curled up in the corner of the room, frightened and scared. I couldn’t admit to her what had happened, she would think I was crazy and worry about me. She would also be wondering why he would even want to haunt me in the first place, and I could never tell her the truth of what I had done. No, I would have to keep this to myself, even if it killed me in the end.
I must have seemed out of it, to her, for a while, afraid that Ming would come back. But the days went by and I thought I was finally in the clear, just like the few hours after killing him were strangely tranquil and uneventful.
I had been wrong.
It was a month after his death, when I was out delivering a painting to the same man who had bought my gold weeks earlier, Mengyao. He had noticed my booming painting business and very much liked one painting that I had recently painted, depicting a dragon flying through the clouds. He bought it for twice the normal amount I would ask, as long as I personally delivered it to him that night without delay. He also wanted to speak to me about a commission of a painting that he was having trouble finding someone to paint. I tried to ask what that was, but his messenger would not tell me, but rather insisted I came that night to find out. So, knowing that I couldn’t say no to such a promising project, I hurried off with my painting into the night.
The streets were quiet, as I walked through them. There wasn’t a soul in sight, at least none that I could see. Lights flickered from lamps that hung outside shops and homes, keeping the streets pretty well-lit. I listened for any slight sound, still afraid that my brother would come out of the darkness and take his revenge out on me. But there was nothing.
I made it to the man’s home undisturbed by my brother’s reappearance, the house was still grand as ever. He had added even more decor to the home, new fountains outside with koi swimming around in them. They were large fish and probably worth quite a sum now. I wondered if he bought them at that size, or if he had them for a long while and they grew to that size. They swam around slowly, there had to be at least a dozen of them, ranging in color from black to white to orange. They were beautiful, like flowers floating in the water.
One of his servants led me into the home, and to the main room where Mengyao awaited me. He sat at the same desk, as he did when I first came here.
“Let me see the painting,” he said as he stayed seated, stroking his white beard.
His servant and I unrolled the painting and showed him. He grinned widely. “Very good, spectacular. It seems good fortune has followed you, Hui.”
I bowed. “Thank you sir.”
Mengyao gestured to his servant to take away the painting. A little bit later, he brought me a small pouch of coins.
“Now, as for the painting I want you to do, please take a seat,” he gestured to the cushion once more.
I knelt down on the cushion and a
waited his specific order. I was curious as to what it could be. A mythical bird? Another dragon? The Forbidden Palace?
He smoked his pipe for a moment, as if studying me, debating whether or not I could paint what he wanted me to. I knew that I could, it was just a matter of time. I wondered what could be so difficult about what he wanted painted. “I want you to paint me a picture of a jiangshi,” he said.
I gulped. How could he want such a thing, it had to be a joke. Did he know what I had done? Had he been watching? “A jiangshi?”
“Yes. I have always found the mythological creature to be fascinating, as they hop around the night, cursed to roam the earth for an eternity, or until they are destroyed. But then who knows where their souls go,” he explained as if in awe. “No painter, whom I have spoken to, has wanted to indulge any further in the topic, no matter how much I offered to pay them. It is strange, really, that they fear in creating the painting that they will awaken some kind of creature, as if they really exist. Such nonsense, don’t you agree?”
“Yes,” I squeaked. I coughed to act as if something had gotten caught in my throat. I had the same fear, but I didn’t want to admit it. I probably had more fear than other, actually having the demon haunt me through my brother. Unless the other painters had indulged in greater evils than I. “Yes, that is nonsense.”
“So, do you think you will take the job?” he asked.
I was quiet for a moment. Why would the others not take it? Did they really believe that it would have brought bad luck to them if they painted such a thing? And how is it that I had an experience with the jiangshi, and now was being asked to paint the topic? Could it just be coincidence, and was my conscience just playing tricks on me now? A lot of people were interested in such topics, it was probably just that. It was a tale told to every child, it wasn’t a surprise that someone would be interested in such a painting. People also painted dragons and other mythical creatures, so why not a jiangshi? Yes, it was as simple as that. There was nothing else behind it. It wasn’t fate reminding me about the things I had done, it was simply a coincidence.
“Yes, I will take the job,” I said finally. Although I smiled, I felt pain begin to swell in my head. It would be hard, painting this creature, I knew. But I also knew the pay would be worth the trouble, and that what had happened nights earlier was just all in my head. No such thing happened. There was no possible way.
He clasped his hands together. “Good, that is very good. Now, I will give you twice what I paid for the last painting for this, and I expect it back within four weeks, is that understood?”
I nodded, very grateful that I had such a person who would be willing to pay so much for my work. I felt honored. “Yes sir, I understand.”
“Very well then, go start your work then. I will send one of my servants to check on you in a week’s time,” he gestured for me to leave, as that was all he wanted to say. He wasn’t one for small talk, he probably was a very busy man.
I bowed and his servant led me out of the palace and back into the darkened streets.
I started on the project, as soon as I got back. Meilin wished me to come to bed for the night, but I wanted to get this project done as soon as I could. I didn’t want to look at the monster that I had to create, the one that would remind me of the evil I had done. Along with that, I didn’t think I would be able to sleep, not with everything that was going through my mind about the situation. I still wasn’t convinced that I had been dreaming about my brother coming to me as a jiangshi. It was still hard to sleep at night and when I did, my dreams were plagued with even more nightmares.
With each stroke, I felt as if my brush and dream was betraying me, taunting me with my evil. You did this, the brush would say. This is because of what you did, the rice paper would add. Sometimes I would answer back, saying it wasn’t my fault, and then I would realize that it had been all in my head and that if anyone had seen me talking to myself like this, I would have been carried away to a doctor’s office. I couldn’t let that happen, they wouldn’t stop asking me what was wrong until I told the truth, and I could never admit that to someone.
I worked day and night, nothing could make me stop me from working on this project in such an obsessive way. Dark circles started to form around my eyes, as I had not slept for a couple of days. I worked hard on the painting; it consumed me as I worked on each and every detail. My wife kept begging me to stop, but I could not. I would not.
I had a few different versions I was working on, wanting it to be perfect. The more I painted, the more the jiangshi began to resemble my brother. I wondered if Meilin notice, for she said nothing. I didn’t want her to find out, so usually when the creature began to look like Ming, I threw it out. I had to get it perfect, and I couldn’t let anyone notice what had happened.
A week passed and I did finally get some well-deserved sleep, although it had been me simply falling asleep at my desk. I dreamt of my brother, in the mines, standing there with the gold, blood dripping down his face. He was holding up the piece of gold, asking if it was worth it, if it was worth his life. Such dreams never left one refreshed as dreams should. I woke up feeling even more tired and even more distraught.
Mengyao’s servant, Liang, came to check on my progress one day. My wife led him to where my studio was. He seemed stricken when he saw me. Had I looked that bad after the week? Meilin had said it seemed I had aged a decade in the past week, I just thought she had been joking, but with Liang’s reaction, I wasn’t entirely sure. I probably should have checked myself in a mirror before he arrived, but it was too late for that now.
“Good morning, Hui, how have you been?” he asked, slightly bowing.
I bowed. “I have been fine, thank you. And you?”
“I have been very well, thank you. How has the painting been coming?”
“Good,” I gestured to the paintings. I have started a few different versions, so that you would have more to choose from. Let me know which is the best, so that I may work further on it.” I hoped he thought at least one of them was what his master was looking for, I had spent so many hours working on it.
Liang studied the painting for a long moment, and then shook his head. “No, no, these won’t do. This isn’t what my master is looking for. None of them have the sense of a jiangshi, there needs to be more darkness around it, more evil as to why the man became a jiangshi. It must show in the painting.”
I looked my paintings, feeling as if someone had stabbed me in the heart. I thought about the couple of versions I threw away, wondering if those were what he was looking for. They had reminded me of my brother and it could have been for that very reason, it had showed too much of the evil behind it all. I pushed back the tears forming in my eyes. They weren’t for him, or about Liang saying they weren’t good enough, but for having to deal with the anguished memories of my brother every moment I held a brush, and even when I didn’t have a brush in my hand.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I rubbed my eyes. “I will do my best to fix this, I promise.”
He nodded. “I will be back in a week to check your progress. Have a good day.”
I sighed as he left and I threw the paintings that laid there on the table off with such anger, slamming my fist on the now clean table. My wife covered her mouth, surprised by my lashing out.
“Hui, are you all right? You are so worked up about this,” she tried to comfort me, thinking it was simply the painting that had me agitated. It was so much more.
I shook my head. “I’m fine, I just have a lot more work to do. It will be fine though, I will get it done for Mengyao.”
She rubbed my back. “If it is too much for you to do, just say so. I am sure he would understand. I don’t like seeing you this worked up.”
I shrugged her off. “It’s fine. I can do it. I just need to focus more. Get me something to eat, would you please?”
She nodded, a little happy that I had asked for food since I had been eating light for the past couple of days. I figured mayb
e I could focus better if I had more energy. Or maybe it would help me feel less guilty about it all.
A couple more days passed and my wife began to worry more about me, begging me to take a break. I told her I couldn’t, that I had to finish the painting in order to finally be free of the burden that was on my shoulders. Not just of the painting, but about my brother as well. If I finished this, I felt as if I could have a clear conscience.
The painting was coming along, I thought. I had been able to add the evil element that Mengyao had requested. I thought about what evil the demon could have done to deserve such a punishment and from there I was able to create such a disturbing creature. Even to me it felt eerie, as if I didn’t know where it had come from, although deep down I did. I had created the evil in myself and let it manifest itself onto the paper. I didn’t want to admit that to be true, but knew it was.
As I worked compulsively on my painting one night, I began to hear the same thumping noise that I had heard weeks earlier. I stopped painting and listened closely, my heart racing and my hands shaking. At first there was nothing, I could just hear the usual city noises coming from the street. I hoped that was what I heard, and that my worry had made it seem like before.
Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
No, it was the noise. It was exactly like before.
“Hui...”
He was back. The evil that haunted my thoughts was back. I was shaking as I grabbed my coat to go outside and check whether or not it was a figment of my imagination or if it was really him. I had to know at this point, I had to if he was real or not. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to see it with my own two eyes once more.
I stepped outside. It was dark and the air was starting to get cool for the autumn season. I looked around, seeing only a few people out during the night. I didn’t see any sign of my brother. It had all been in my head, just as I had suspected. The sound must have come from a creak in the house.
Sighing, I went back into my shop. It was just my imagination, as I had been painting too much. I should have known such lack of sleep and food was bad for the mind. I decided it would be best for my sanity, if I did go to bed for the night. I headed upstairs and climbed in bed with my wife. Her warm body brought me back to this work and it seemed my fears left me even for just a brief moment. I just wished I could stay there forever, and not face my own demons that awaited me down the stairs.
