Only the Strongest Survive

by Ian Fox

  She had not been involved in the buying and selling of shares directly for a while, leaving it to the experts she had hired and taught to work her way, and paid them well for it. Those that were smart invested their money in shares, increasing their earnings several fold.

  Emely herself had been involved in much more complicated business that concerned the reorganization of the newly acquired companies, which was all but simple. When she took over a pharmaceutical company, for example, she had to find experts who instructed her in the fundamentals of chemicals and other factors involved in the production of medicinal drugs. She had to spend weeks doing research, knowing that this was the only way of changing the manner in which the company had functioned until then. Of course her assistants, experts in both pharmacy and business, helped her, but all the fundamental decisions still had to be taken by her. Later, when the reorganization was completed, there followed a search for new partners. Often she had to travel abroad to find companies that would in the future serve as either suppliers or buyers. In the case of suppliers, she was able to negotiate the lowest purchasing prices, and in the case of buyers, large orders from the very beginning. She was wildly successful, but it required a great deal of time and energy.

  Although she loved Philip, she didn’t see him more than three times a week. She didn’t want him to wait in bed for her every night since she was often so exhausted that every minute of sleep mattered. When she wanted his company, she called him two hours beforehand and he waited for her like a puppy. It always took days before she finally did call him, but he was unable to say no to her. Usually they met at his place so that Emely could leave as soon as she got tired of him. If they had met in her apartment, she would have had to endure his company for as long as he wanted to stay. And he’d probably never want to leave. As it was, she rushed to him in her sports car as if it were a business meeting, quickly got her dose of love, and left again for a few days. Philip protested and tried to keep her with him for as long as possible. He often threatened to leave her, as the relationship was giving him more pain than pleasure. Every time he thought of this and decided to tell her so, his lips suddenly froze and he gave in to her gentle kisses that soon banished the idea from his head. He even took his cell phone with him when he had a bath, always afraid that he might miss her call.

  *

  One evening when Emely had been crying because of being imprisoned far away from those she loved, she wondered whom she was missing the most. Was it Philip, whom she used to see for a maximum of six hours a week? Or perhaps Sally, her best friend? Or the company to which she had dedicated most of her time? These thoughts soon stopped her sobbing.

  *

  The following day Emely said, “I suggest you buy the Prodny shares. It’s a company in Slovakia and during the post-communist transition the stock exchange there was not so well-regulated.”

  John sat next to Emely, with his legs spread wide.

  She said, “The shares may grow by some tens of thousands percent.”

  John tried to calculate the value of his capital if his current financial state increased by 10,000 percent. His mouth opened as if all the air were being sucked out of his lungs.

  Even before he could comment, Emely said, “On the other hand, the value could fall or the company could go bankrupt. In which case you’d lose everything.”

  This part did not interest him at all. The 10,000 percent was the only thing reverberating around his head.

  “I propose you invest 20 percent of your capital in Prodny.”

  “Thirty,” John retorted.

  “No way, it’s obvious you’re inexperienced. Let’s say twenty-five.”

  “OK.”

  They had to carry out the transaction through a stockbroker who dealt with such deals.

  Emely lucked out. Everyone was buying these shares and their value increased by over 500 percent within two weeks. John was so stressed out that he smoked one cigarette after another so that Emely complained and he had to go out of the room. He stood at the doorway, blowing the smoke into the corridor and looking at the computer screen.

  “When the shares fall by over 20 percent within a day, we sell them,” she told him.

  She also frequently had moments of great tension, since under normal circumstances she would never buy these shares. The risk was simply too high.

  Both Emely and John woke up in the night, dreaming that Prodny had gone bankrupt. One night John was shouting so loudly that Kitty began to bark. After three weeks of tension, Emely decided to sell the shares. Within two days their value had fallen for a total of 30 percent, which justified her decision. John immediately called the stockbroker and told him what to do. As they had bought 19 percent of all the Prodny shares, their value fell by another 8 percent in one day as a result. John and Emely had caused a panic, so everyone began selling and the value fell even more rapidly. In spite of all this, Emely and John had increased the capital invested by 540 percent within three weeks and turned six hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars into three million three hundred and seventy-five thousand.

  Emely was visibly relieved and John could not believe his eyes when he saw the profit. He was so happy that he lifted Emely high up into the air. She screamed and Kitty began to bark.

  “We have to celebrate this,” he said.

  Emely was pleased also, not having expected such a good result in her wildest dreams. Even before the trading had finished they switched off the computer, too excited to go on making small profits that day. They decided to go for a short walk instead.

  *

  All three of them were running to and fro. After half an hour the two humans threw themselves onto the grass, tired out, and rested for a while in the warm sun. John could no longer contain himself.

  For weeks now he’d been dreaming of touching her one day. The thought had grown into an obsession and true suffering. He admired her so much that he could never describe the feelings he had for her. She was the smartest, most beautiful and attractive woman he had ever known. In fact he found her more beautiful every day. Although lines were becoming noticeable on her face and he knew she was nearly forty, in his opinion no twenty-year-old could compete with her. She was simply perfect and he often had to look down because he could no longer endure her beauty. It was too painful. Knowing he couldn’t give her a hug or touch her in any way, he sometimes felt such a strong pain in his heart that he thought it would stop beating.

  Now he was looking at her as she lay next to him, inhaling the scent of her body mixed with that of the flowers surrounding her. After hesitating for a few minutes, he made a decision. He just had to touch her, his pain was too great. He was as scared as a child, his heart beating fast and he found it difficult to breathe. After a while he plucked up the courage to take her hand.

  “John!” she warned him in a deep voice. She wanted to sit up, but he swiftly put his arms around her and pressed her close to him.

  “What are you doing, John?” She was in shock as he continued hugging her and would not let go. Emely didn’t know whether to react sternly and push him away or whether to stay cool and collected in the hope that her coldness would repel him. “What’s happening with you?”

  John wanted to say something in his defense, but his tongue turned into a useless solid mass that wouldn’t move. Instead, he pressed her even closer to him and put his head on her shoulder.

  Emely froze. “John, let go of me,” she said. At the same time fear began to grow in her as she remembered those horrific moments when he had been on top of her, drunk and sweaty. She was getting into a panic. “John, let me go.”

  She sensed that his body shook occasionally. The pressure of his arms around her middle began to ease. She turned toward him, wanting to push him away or even slap him, when she was astonished to see tears streaming from his eyes. “John?”

  He could no longer hold back, put his head in her lap and began sobbing.

  Emely never expected anything like this and didn’t know
whether to get up and push him away or put her hand on his head and try to ease his pain. In the end she remained perfectly still, neither getting up nor touching him, and waited for him to calm down and explain his actions.

  He cried for at least five minutes, until his breathing slowly calmed down. He was holding her hand, still not wanting to let go of her. “I know you hate me,” he finally said through the sobs.

  She didn’t know what to say to this. After all, it was true. She hated him from the bottom of her heart—he had tried to kill her and was now keeping her prisoner and earning money on her account. What does he think, that I would love him after all this? But she held on and waited to see what else he had to say.

  “I’ve never met a woman like you.” He sniffed a few times and wiped his dripping nose. Then he slowly lifted his head.

  Emely looked into his red eyes and couldn’t believe this reaction. She expected anything but this. She had really thought that all he was capable of doing with a woman was to order her around and climb on top of her whenever the urge took him. She would have bet any amount that in his opinion women were there only to breed children and serve as a sex object. Emotions were not something she thought he had.

  “I … I … I don’t know how to tell you. No one has ever listened to me the way you do. … I’ve never talked to anyone until the late hours like I do to you. … I have never admired anyone as much as I admire you. …”

  For a while she was completely silent, thinking what to say. “It’s very nice of you to think that way, but …” She wanted to tell him that she was nice to him only because he demanded it and it was best for their relationship.

  “I love you, Emely,” he managed to say as he took a deep breath.

  “But—”

  “I love you so much and I know you don’t love me.”

  Again he put his head in her lap and sobbed. She was so touched that she put her hand on his head and gently stroked his short hair. The fear was gone and a gentle smile appeared on her lips. She knew she could get him to give her anything with time. Maybe even freedom, she thought.

  *

  They set off for home in silence, with Kitty hopping around them and looking at them in turn. The horizon was dark, the sky covered with gray clouds. The damp air foretold a downpour. The wind tussled their hair.

  *

  He shut her in her room as usual and left without saying anything else. When alone with Kitty, Emely sat down, put her hand over her heart, and began thinking about everything that had just happened. She was both touched by and impressed with what he had said to her and also aware that she’d have to be careful, otherwise he would sooner or later appear in her bed. The thought of touching anything but his hand made her shudder. I have to act tactically, she repeated to herself. He’s going to become less and less careful with time and that’s when I’ll act. She adjusted her hair that was flattened by lying in the grass. Yes, that’s the best solution.

  *

  John, rather depressed, set off for his room. He was ashamed of his outburst and felt humiliated and embarrassed. If only I could have controlled myself. What must she think of me now?

  He went to the bathroom and took a pill for his stomachache. After he washed his face with soap and water, he went to bed. Lying there, he rolled up into a ball, holding his stomach. He could only last a few minutes thinking about other things before his thoughts flew down to the basement. He imagined her waiting for him with open arms. Then he fell asleep.

  *

  As dinnertime approached, Emely could hear a noise that announced his imminent arrival. Confused, she sat on the bed and then the chair. At the last moment she adjusted a lock of hair that was sticking out half an inch too far. John came in smiling. Little Kitty was happy to see him and kept wagging her tail.

  “Dinner’s ready,” he said.

  Emely nodded and immediately lowered her eyes and looked at the dog. At the table she and John were reserved and unusually nice to each other, smiling throughout. John was embarrassed and Emely was trying to behave as if nothing had happened, which made her act differently than usual.

  “The sun shone so warmly today,” she said.

  “Yes, but the temperature was just right.”

  “Kitty more than liked the walk,” Emely added.

  “I worry that soon it’ll be too hot during the day for her.”

  “If she gets too hot, we’ll have to trim her coat,” she said, not really meaning it.

  John kept blushing. Emely noticed he was drinking more wine than usual. Obviously he’s not forgotten his old friend, alcohol, which always gives him courage, she thought. Soon he’ll be drunk and his gentleness will change into wantonness and he’ll take me like that last time.

  “Emely … I’d like to apologize for today, I don’t know what came over me. …”

  It was hard to believe, but she was beginning to blush now. She felt an incredible heat in her cheeks. Damn it, must be the wine, she thought, while saying, “Oh, John …”

  “All I want to say is that it won’t happen again. These outbursts won’t happen again. I’d like us to stay friends.”

  Another surprise for her.

  “You needn’t worry, I won’t touch you again. I know you’re afraid of me. I’d just like things to stay as they were.”

  “Of course things will stay as they were. Of course we’ll stay friends,” she said, still feeling amazed at what he had said.

  “I meant it when I said that I’ve never talked to anyone like I do to you. And I don’t want to lose that.”

  Emely had to admit to herself that she had often enjoyed spending time with him, but only after having a few glasses of wine and becoming fully relaxed. Only when she was able to forget the terrible things that had happened, shutting the door behind them, was she able to relax and laugh at what he said to her. But when the effects of the alcohol disappeared, she preferred to be alone. She didn’t know which was better: when he wasn’t there she was angry, but when he was ….

  She said, “I think it really is best if it stays as it is. A friendship.”

  He nodded with remorse. “Now let’s eat. The food is getting cold.”

  They ate without speaking and nothing but the noises made by their knives and forks could be heard. Emely desperately wanted music, but said nothing. She went on eating and staring at her plate. She was too embarrassed to look at him and could barely wait for dinner to be over. She had not had much time in her life for love. John had confused her with that outburst earlier and she was unable to react appropriately. Being used to having things under control, she didn’t know how to behave. She felt nothing for him, but nonetheless she often blushed and felt her breasts swelling. A few times now she had felt her nipples grow hard when she was with him. As she usually wore a thin T-shirt, this was more than obvious. She was angry that this happened.

  “Shall we go for a walk after dinner?” he said to break the silence.

  “Oh yes, Kitty will love it.”

  More silence.

  They walked for half an hour and then John offered to accompany her to her room.

  Oh yes, she thought, not only will he accompany me to it, he’ll lock me in.

  *

  The moment John lay in his bed and covered himself, the stomachache returned. He had never been so lonely. His stomach felt as if filled with concrete and he would have thrown it all up, but he knew that the food was not the problem. For over two hours he tossed and turned trying to find a suitable position, to no avail. He wanted her there so much that he thought his head would explode. Every moment was pure torture.

  He dragged himself to the bathroom and rummaged around to find a painkiller. Coming across something for headaches, he took three pills, washing them down with water. Instead of feeling better, things got worse. The dull pain grew to a burning sensation. Swallowing was difficult and he felt nauseated.

  He went to the bathroom again and emptied his stomach in the hope of feeling better. But it didn’t wor
k; his thoughts were still screaming inside him. Clearly, his body was rebelling against everything that was happening. He lay down again and endured the pain for a while, lying still. Tears began to roll from his eyes. He was missing her so much. It was as if she had bewitched him, all his thoughts revolving around her. He felt he was going crazy.

  Before this, all he had thought about were money and women, but now his head was fully occupied with Emely. Where is this going? Sooner or later I’ll explode.

  There were moments when he wanted to die. He knew he would have to let her go one day, but life without her seemed pointless. At the same time, life as it was now seemed unbearable. He turned onto his stomach and the pain abated a little. Then his heart began to hurt and he had difficulty breathing. He could not go on and had to do something.

  Wearing only his underwear, he went down the stairs to the basement. Quietly, he unlocked her door.

  Emely was asleep and before she could become fully awake, he was already under her covers.

  “John!” she screamed.