Only the Strongest Survive

by Ian Fox

  She could feel the pressure of tears in her eyes and found it difficult to keep them back. “There is one other way,” she said, her voice trembling.

  “No, there isn’t.”

  The stinging feeling in her eyes was too strong and big tears began sliding down her cheeks. “Didn’t you say you’d let me go one day?”

  When he saw her unresisting body and sparkly tears that adorned her face like the most precious diamonds, he couldn’t help himself. He got up and embraced her. Kissing her hair, he said, “I’ll let you go, Emely, I’ll let you go very soon.”

  Slowly she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. She couldn’t believe what he had just said. He sounded so sincere.

  “Will you really let me go?” She gently took his face in her hands.

  “Yes, I promise.”

  She kissed him on the cheek, pressed herself closer to him, and went on crying. She knew he was thinking about it. She sensed he would never say something he didn’t mean.

  *

  In the evening they were both in a much better mood. John cooked them delicious lasagna and for dessert there was hazelnut cake.

  “The meal was wonderful,” Emely said. “I must have gained a few pounds during these past few months since I’ve been your guest,” she joked.

  “Your figure is still perfect,” he said while pouring her some more Dom Perignon.

  “Kitty is getting very impatient. Could we take our glasses outside?”

  He nodded and carried the glasses in his left hand and took the bottle in his right. They sat on the bamboo chairs on the terrace in front of the house, enjoying the evening air filled with the scents of the forest.

  “It always smells so nice here,” Emely said.

  “Of course, we’re living in paradise.”

  Even though she was his prisoner and should hate this place, deep down she didn’t. On the contrary, she liked it. She liked all those trees and bushes around the house. Maybe it was because she spent most of the day in that stuffy little room.

  Every time she left the house she felt a jolt of energy. She tried to inhale deeply while looking at the various plants growing all around. The grass was decorated with white and purple flowers. The wall surrounding the house was barely visible, it was so overgrown by ivy. Everything was wild, and Emely liked it that way.

  If he really releases me, I’ll buy myself a house like this somewhere in the middle of the woods.

  They clinked their twisted-stemmed glasses, laughing. Meanwhile, Kitty kept sticking her nose in various holes and wagging her tail.

  A short silence occurred in their conversation and Emely really wanted to ask him once more if he truly meant what he had said earlier. Instead, she said, “The price of those Ford shares we bought a week ago rose by 7 percent.”

  “Super.”

  She noticed he was preoccupied even though he had been trying to look as if he was in a good mood. She knew him well enough to be aware of the fact that he was thinking about something, but she didn’t know what. Maybe he really will let me go.

  When the bottle was empty, John went to get another. As if incredibly thirsty, they quickly picked up the newly filled glasses and took a long sip. A few bubbles went up John’s nose and he had to sneeze. They laughed so much that their voices carried far away.

  When it was just after midnight, Emely got up, indicating that it was time to go to bed.

  John took her hand. “Let’s have another glass, to empty the bottle.”

  “Which bottle?” she joked.

  “The second one, I think.”

  “OK, then.”

  She sat down, her head spinning slightly. In the hope of sobering up a bit, she took a few deep breaths. While doing this, she leaned toward him and she caught a whiff of his cologne.

  “Mmmm,” she said, “you smell nice.”

  “I’m glad you like it,” he said warmly, and smiled.

  She straightened up and became serious again. What am I doing? He’ll think I’m seducing him. She arranged her hair with her hand. “It’s best if we go to bed,” she said coldly, looking into the distance.

  She emptied her glass quickly and got up. “That’s it, it’s empty.”

  John got up too, and followed her while she swayed inside. Then he locked up, making sure that Kitty had come in.

  As they were walking downstairs, Emely felt John watching her. She had a feeling that he would touch her at any moment. That was what she feared most. She was still embarrassed about what had happened the night before and was determined to resist with all her might if he tried something again.

  When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Emely was embraced by the cold, musty air. Every time she went toward her room, this smell irritated her nostrils. She hated damp and moldy buildings. She thought of the wretched people who had to live in city sewers, sharing their space with rats, while sewage traveled past them. Terrible, she thought.

  Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. “No!” she hissed as if she had spotted Kitty peeing on the carpet.

  John pulled her closer and began kissing her neck. His left hand skillfully reached under her top.

  “No, John,” she said again.

  He was holding her so tight that it seemed pointless to resist. Her only weapon was a cold, strict voice, so she repeated, “John, don’t you understand when I tell you to stop this immediately.” However, her voice was much less decisive than earlier.

  “Yes, I understand,” he said in a whisper.

  When she felt his hand on her stomach and his hot tongue twirling around her right ear, something began happening to her. She felt herself relaxing and submitting to his embrace.

  “No, John, let me go immediately,” she said, but only a second later the first sigh could be heard from her mouth.

  Waves of lust engulfed her. Only a few moments earlier she could not have imagined doing it again with him, she was convinced of this—she only rarely changed her decisions. But what she was feeling now was much stronger than her mind. She knew she should not be doing this, but at the same time volcanoes were bubbling up inside her, threatening to explode. And John was the only one who could put these fires out and return her body to normal functioning.

  Why can’t I resist him? she asked herself, but immediately desired him so much that as soon as she could she turned around to kiss those wonderful lips. The touch of his tongue made her tingle from head to toe. She submitted to the strong, skillful hands that caressed her while opening the buttons on her shirt and undoing her pants. There was a danger that her clothes would drop to the floor and she would appear in front of him completely naked. He would be able to do with her whatever he wanted. There would be no way back. I have to stop him, I have to interrupt this curse.

  But instead of pushing him away, she backed toward the bed. John immediately understood, lifted her in his arms, and carried her over like a child. She was naked in his hands, her body trembling with fear and desire.

  “John, this is not a smart decision. Let me go, we mustn’t do this.”

  He put her on the bed and placed his lips to her breasts, sucking them. At the same time her removed his T-shirt with one swoop and revealed his muscular body.

  Emely could last no longer. She turned him over and started kissing him on the face, neck, and chest. She marveled at his firm body. Like a snake she wriggled on top of him, pinning him down with her quick, hot tongue. The more he sighed, the more intent she became. This moment was hers and she could do what she wanted.

  Her hands moved along his abdominal muscles that were clearly separated. She directed her lips toward his navel, caressing his chest. Just as she was about to undo his pants and release him from the tight jeans, he flipped her over again. She was slightly angry at him for not letting her completely undress him, but soon relinquished her body to his masterful hands and gentle lips. They played like this until they were both exhausted and lay on their backs.

  He really is special, Emely thought just before
her strength left her completely.

  John embraced her gently. He was unable to go to sleep for a long time—he wanted to be with her and feel her soft skin next to his body.

  *

  In the morning, Emely woke up first. She slipped out of his embrace and moved to her side of the bed. John woke up too and looked at her lovingly, wanting to greet her with a kiss. He leaned over, but she swiftly moved her head and looked away with her lips pressed close together. John spent some time looking at her and then stroked her shoulders, but she would not budge and continued staring at the wall, tensing her muscles in anger.

  He understood her silent game and got up without a word, dressed, and left the room. Emely could hear the key turn in the lock—he did not forgot this time. She felt terrible, regretted everything they had done, and swore this really was the last time. She didn’t want to have a love affair with someone whom she hated. She asked herself, Where is all this leading?

  When an hour and a half later he came back, carrying a tray with fresh rolls and coffee, Emely wasted no time.

  “John,” she said, “we really must talk.”

  “I don’t have the time,” he said, and picked up Kitty. “I have things to do at home. I’ll be back late in the afternoon and I’m taking Kitty with me.”

  “But John—”

  “We’ll talk at dinner,” he said, already running up the stairs.

  He came back in a few minutes with some ham and cheese sandwiches. Finally, he put a plastic bottle of water on her table. “Bye!” he said quickly and then he was gone.

  “But ….”

  *

  Emely kept repeating in her mind the speech she intended to give in the evening when he came back. I’ll tell him in no uncertain terms that I don’t love him and therefore don’t want to have sex with him.

  Impatiently she moved to the other end of the room with her hands on her hips. If he really loves me, he’ll understand and leave me alone.

  She sat on a chair and tried to direct her attention to the numbers on the computer screen. How dare he mislead me and even climb into my bed? I should be more decisive. She was clenching her teeth in anger. Damn it, he always attacks at just the right moment.

  She got up and paced the room. And he’s nothing special in bed anyway. She bit her bottom lip, knowing this was not true and that she had to extinguish the arousal brought on by thoughts of their last meeting.

  She looked at the clock. When will he come? It was nearly two, but it felt like it was at least seven in the evening. The time was dragging on.

  Once more she looked at the screen and stared at it for a while. Then she turned the computer off. I’m going to go crazy in this hole. At the thought that she was losing it, Emely considered, It’s not that bad. I must think of all the prisoners who spend their whole life locked up. If they can stand it, so can I. If I think like this, it’ll be easier for me. She sat on the bed with her legs crossed in front of her, with the intention of meditating. She straightened up and took a few deep breaths in order to calm down. It’s easier for prisoners. They know they can’t escape and become resigned to their fate, but I have false hopes.

  She put both her hands on her knees and slowly closed her eyes. She began relaxing her neck by moving her head forward, then to the left and the right and back again for a minute. She tried to focus on her mind in an attempt to empty it of thoughts. Why didn’t I die in that grave? Then I wouldn’t have to endure all this.

  Her body was slowly relaxing, but she could still feel tension in her stomach. She tried to imagine lying on a beach, waves lapping in front of her. This was supposed to wash away all those pesky thoughts, but it didn’t work. She couldn’t imagine the sea in that basement room. I hate him. How dare he come to my room at night? How dare he touch me like that?

  She looked at the clock again unintentionally. Time is not important for a relaxed mind and the hands had hardly moved since she had looked at it last. Where the hell is he?

  Then she closed her eyes again, telling herself that she was perfectly calm. I’m perfectly calm … perfectly calm … perfectly calm ….

  After a couple minutes she sat on the edge of the bed, giving up. She said out loud, “How can I be calm when he leaves me here waiting all day long? I’m going to go nutty. And what am I supposed to do all this time?”

  *

  The alarm woke her around eight in the evening, catapulting her out of bed. Within seconds she arranged her hair and renewed her makeup. Just as she was highlighting her beautiful eyes, she heard the key in the lock and straightened up.

  Kitty greeted her first, jumping on her happily.

  “Hi!” John said.

  “Hi.”

  “I’ve brought us a Chinese takeout. Let’s all go upstairs.”

  They were silent during dinner. Emely could see that John was tense even though he was trying to be nice. She decided to begin the planned conversation after coffee.

  Dessert was a chocolate mousse with whipped cream and while she ate it, Emely kept telling herself it was time to say everything she had spent the afternoon planning to say.

  Finally she plucked up the courage and began talking in a quiet voice. “John, I’d like to talk to you.”

  “So would I,” he said.

  “What?” She looked into his eyes and forgot her speech.

  “I’ve been thinking about us a lot. You know I love you and I’m glad in a way that you showed me something I didn’t know before.”

  He lit himself a cigarette and she saw that his hand was trembling. She looked at his face again.

  “For me, there’ll always be only you. Wherever I go, I’ll dream about you. No other woman will exist for me.”

  She listened with her lips slightly parted. His voice was serious, with a slight tremble.

  “This is our last supper. Tonight, I’ll travel far away and tomorrow I’ll inform the police and they’ll come and set you free.”

  Emely’s heart went cold and began thumping. What’s he saying … it can’t be … no, this can’t be true ….

  “I know you don’t love me, Emely. I hoped you’d gradually grow fond of me, but ….” He looked away and then back at her.

  Tears began flowing, slowly sliding down her face as she continued to listen.

  “I know it’s not possible, I know you’ll never love me. I realized this in the morning.”

  She watched the first tear slide from his eye and at that moment she wanted to put her arms around him. But she didn’t, afraid he’d change his mind, afraid to alter his decision in any way. Instead, she stared at him, crying. Everything she had heard was too good to be true.

  “The realtor told me this morning that my apartment was sold. I’ve also sold all my shares and I’m proud to be able to say that I got seven million, seven hundred and sixty thousand dollars from my account.” He stopped for a moment, giving her a gentle smile. “Congratulations, Emely! You’ve managed to turn two million into nearly eight in four months.” He pointed at a smallish red bag that was completely full. “Just think, it’s all in there.”

  She stared at the bag next to her, confused. She was about to say something, but chose not to.

  “I don’t want your money, Emely. I’ll leave it here and you can do what you want with it.”

  She couldn’t believe her ears and the tears flowed even faster. She could never have imagined anything like this. Only now she realized how strong his love was for her. He was willing to give up all his money to prove that he loved her. She was astonished and wanted to hug him, to kiss those wonderful lips that had told her so many lovely things, but all she did was to keep looking at him, swallowing the tears pouring down her face. She was looking at his face that had never before seemed so attractive to her.

  “But John,” she said, sobbing, “I’d like you to take the money.”

  “No, that’s why I sold the apartment. I’ve learned quite a bit while we traded with all those shares. Maybe I’ll manage to earn something as well.�
�� He got up and kissed her forehead.

  She didn’t resist, didn’t move her head. She remained still and went on looking at him.

  He knelt next to her and took her hands. “I’m sorry, Emely. I know that the words with which I could justify the horrible deeds Ronald and I committed do not exist. I had you shut in this house against your will and I know how much you’ve suffered. I am so sorry for everything.”

  He put his head in her lap and only a few moments later she felt his tears through her skirt.

  She began stroking his head. “I know, John, I know,” she said, sobbing.

  After a while, he got up. He took the bag and accompanied her to her room, and embraced her while she stood there helplessly, not knowing what to say.

  It was all happening too fast. Only a few hours back she was a prisoner, but now he was telling her she’d be free in a few hours, that he’d leave in a few moments and she’d never see him again. She wanted to stop time, didn’t want him to leave her that minute, wanted to think about it. But at the same time she couldn’t believe that he’d really go, and leave her, free. If what he says is true, I’ll be able to fly wherever I want to tomorrow. While he had been kissing her forehead, cheeks, and eyes, she had stood there like a puppet, dreaming about all the places she’d visit as soon as she was out. Free, free! This word kept going through her head and then she thought of Philip, Sally, and her other friends. She was so happy that she’d be able to see them again. And finally she would be able to run her company again.

  It’ll all be different now, she thought. I won’t work as much, there’s no point. I’m going to go on vacation. To China, somewhere far, far away.

  Suddenly she became afraid that John would change his mind, and disappointment would hit her in the face again. So she deliberately stopped dreaming. No, John is not like that. If he has made a decision, he’ll stick to it.

  Then another thought flashed to the forefront, about the time she had spent in that house. She no longer remembered the painful moments, only the pleasant ones that she had spent with him. The main thing is that I’ve survived. Nothing else matters.