Uncle John’s Presents Mom’s Bathtub Reader

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  He’s strong, he’s suave, and women go weak in the knees when he walks into the room. And of course he’s close to his mom.

  Huh? Do “ladies’ man” and “mama’s boy” go together?

  You bet they do. Researchers have investigated how a guy’s relationship with his mom might affect his relationship with his significant other—and they came up with some surprising results.

  GOOD SON = GOOD BOYFRIEND

  Researchers at Ferrum College in Virginia found that when a woman was highly satisfied with her man, he tended to get along well with his mother. They questioned couples, asking the women about their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends and surveying the men about their relationships with their mothers. The findings showed significant correlations between the way a man feels about his mother and the way the woman feels about him.

  Overall, it’s good news for men who are valued and respected by their moms. Turns out that the men who thought highly of their mothers were also close to their wives and girlfriends. Their mates rated these guys as affectionate and good communicators, calling them both good lovers and best friends.

  Sarah Roberts, who ran the study, noted that in many homes the mother is a child’s first experience with femininity, as well as his first influential teacher. A son who has a happy maternal experience may be more open to a woman’s affection. Men who had a high-quality relationship with the first important female in their lives seemed to be able to go on to have high-quality relationships with females in their love lives too.

  HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

  But can a man be too close to his mom? What about the guy who treats his mom so well that he makes his girlfriend second best? The study may have spotted that guy too.

  Men who rated moms as their “best friend” didn’t get such a strong nod of approval from their honeys. These men were rated as “less than considerate” by their mates. So for mom and son, it seems to be a question of degree. When mom and son are too close, wives and girlfriends aren’t as happy.

  How close is too close? That’s a question only a woman can answer. (Seriously, we’re not touching that one.)

  “Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.”

  —W. Somerset Maugham

  Mama Presley’s Pink Cadillac

  Millions of girls got all shook up over sexy Elvis, but here’s the story of the King’s greatest love

  In 1956 Presley-mania swept the country. You couldn’t turn on a radio without hearing “Heartbreak Hotel.” Millions of TV viewers tuned in to The Milton Berle Show to watch a sultry teenager with slick-backed hair and sideburns rush onstage to belt out “Hound Dog” while accompanying his bluesy singing with a pelvic bump and grind that drove the girls and the TV censors wild. Some authorities declared it the end of civilization. Others said, nah, it’s just the birth of rock and roll.

  At Presley’s performances, girls screamed, cried, fainted, and tore off his clothing—behaving in a highly unladylike manner. As for Elvis, he loved his female fans. But he always declared that his greatest fan and the woman with the deepest hold on his heart was Gladys, better known as his mama.

  ELVIS ENTERS THE BUILDING

  Gladys Love Smith was a descendant of sharecroppers and moonshiners who lived through hard times that never seemed to improve much. A striking woman, family said Gladys owed her dark-haired good looks to her Cherokee great-great-grandmother. Folks in her hometown of Tupelo praised Gladys’s singing talent. And Gladys could move. In the dance halls, friends stood back to gawk open-mouthed when the girl hip-swiveled into buck dancing, a frowned-upon 1930s version of dirty dancing. Nobody shook up Tupelo like Gladys.

  Alas, Gladys’s partying days were short-lived. She came of age in the Great Depression and dropped out of school early to help care for seven brothers and sisters. She worked 12-hour days in a garment factory, and her marriage to Vernon Presley didn’t improve her chances for enjoying leisure time. Vernon might have been handsome, charming, and funny, but he was poorer than Gladys and was said to be allergic to steady work.

  Vernon borrowed money and built the young couple’s first home, a two-room shotgun shack. In that little house in Tupelo, a pregnant Gladys went into labor. On January 8, 1935, Elvis entered the building.

  A LEGEND IS BORN

  The night of Elvis’s birth was at once the happiest and the most tragic of the young mother’s life. She delivered twin sons, but one, Jessie Garon, was stillborn. The loss of one baby made Elvis all the more precious to her. She took to heart the folk belief that if one twin died it meant that the “one that lived got all the strength of the other.” But the trauma surrounding her son’s birth left Gladys fearful for his safety. Along with her powerful faith that Elvis could do great things out in the world, his mama was always terrified that the world might destroy him.

  THAT’S NOT ALL RIGHT, PAPA

  Vernon managed to support their little family, with Gladys taking on jobs like picking cotton to help out. Family friends, church meetings, and tent revivals dominated their social life, making the Presleys an “average” Tupelo family. That is, until Daddy got arrested for forgery.

  Vernon and two companions had placed an extra zero on a four-dollar check they’d received from the Presleys’ land-lord in payment for a hog. They were all sentenced to three years in prison. Gladys, left alone with a two-year-old to support, was dealt a second blow when the landlord evicted her from her home for lack of payment.

  Somehow, Gladys managed. She stayed with relatives, got a job in the laundry, and cared for her son. While Vernon was locked up, Gladys and Elvis were two against the world. They loved and protected each other fiercely, spent all the time they could together, and even invented a language that only the two of them understood—and which they would communicate in for the rest of their lives. Elvis became the man of the house before he was three. He often called his mother “baby” and vowed to one day make her life easy. Most kids forget promises they make when they’re young, but not Elvis.

  YOU CAN LEAVE THE BUILDING NOW

  Believe it or not, there was a time when people actually wanted Elvis Presley not to sing. Once Gladys noticed that her boy loved music, she gave him his first guitar and even arranged for him to take lessons. Elvis practiced that guitar everywhere and sang to everyone. He was an immediate success with his teachers and classmates, but his tendency to sing the same songs over and over caused some pals to beg him to stop!

  Mama never tired of hearing Elvis sing his favorite songs like “Old Shep.” As for Elvis, he noticed the way kids who had once looked down on him suddenly admired him when he sang. Maybe with music, Elvis could give his mama everything she’d ever wanted.

  MOVING TO MEMPHIS

  The Presleys moved to Memphis after Vernon was released from prison, but unfortunately, Vernon still had problems holding down a steady job. Gladys came to the rescue again and took on odd jobs to make sure her son didn’t have to drop out of high school. In fact, there were few limits to Gladys’s support of her boy. Coeds might one day swoon when Elvis shook his locks, but at Humes High the girls turned up their noses at the shy, polite boy from Tupelo. They didn’t like his weird sideburns or hairstyles that looked shot from a grease gun. It was loyal Gladys who understood Elvis’s search for his own look; she even home-permed his soon-to-be-famous pompadour when Elvis asked for a Tony Curtis style.

  Elvis Presley was a model son. The summer after graduation he took a job driving a truck for an electrical company and faithfully brought home his paycheck. But inside, Elvis was restless. He longed to sing his way to stardom. Then he’d buy his mama a real house—along with a pink Cadillac.

  A RISING SON BECOMES A STAR

  Elvis went down to Sun Records and paid them to cut a record as a belated birthday present for his mama. He sang “My Happiness” and “That’s When Your Heartaches Begin.” This record led to a professional session at Sun, where Elvis cut his firs
t single, “That’s All Right.” When Elvis’s voice hit the airwaves, Vernon and Gladys were glued to the radio. When Gladys heard them say Elvis’s name, she went into such shock that she “couldn’t rightly hear the record.” But it didn’t matter—the song was played again and again. It was an immediate local sensation.

  Elvis’s first recording was a triumph for Gladys (and payback for all those times she’d had to listen to “Old Shep” over and over and over). But pride in her son’s success turned to panic when Elvis quit truck driving in favor of the music business. Overanxious Gladys, who’d walked her precious boy safely across the highway for about eight years longer than necessary, now had to watch him head out on tour. And the rest, as they say, is rock and roll history.

  THE PINK CADILLAC

  Once Elvis was a star, he did keep his promise and bought his mama a big pink Cadillac. Gladys was proud and grateful, but she never drove that car—she didn’t like to drive. As for world-famous Graceland, it was Gladys who saw the estate and fell in love with it. So Elvis bought it for her.

  In August 1958 Gladys was stricken with hepatitis, which would eventually bring on a fatal heart attack. Before her death, her beloved pink Cadillac was placed outside the hospital, where she could see it from her window. Elvis, who’d been drafted into the army, got special leave to rush to her side. Friends claimed Elvis was never the same after Gladys died. Overcome with grief, he parked the pink Cadillac at Graceland, where it remains to this day.

  Lullaby Power

  There’s power in rocking a baby to sleep with a lullaby. If you don’t believe the world’s moms, just ask the scientists.

  Did you know that lullabies sound the same the world over? Or that a mother’s singing can decrease stress hormones in her child? How about the fact that rocking a baby helps it to develop faster? Scientists are beginning to take note of the centuries-old power of a mom’s lullabies.

  BABIES ARE NOTEWORTHY

  All around the world, mothers sing lullabies to their children to soothe them to sleep. Lullabies are distinguishable as simpler and more repetitive than other types of songs. And not only are all lullabies similar, but all mothers sing them in a similar manner: at a high pitch, in a slow tempo, and with a distinctive tone.

  What drives this worldwide warbling of lullabies? University of Toronto professor Sandra Trehub has done experiments that show babies are very responsive to music and quicker to notice a “sour” note than adults are. She believes this infant affinity for music is connected to a lullaby’s power to soothe a fretting baby. Trehub’s research has also shown that moms can mesmerize babies with lullabies and even lower their children’s stress hormones!

  Lullabies may be an important survival tool. The sweet sounds make a baby less fussy, which, in turn, makes a mom’s demanding job easier. When a mother can more successfully care for her infant, the infant is more likely to survive and thrive.

  GIVE ME A LULLABY, STAT !

  More evidence of lullaby power was discovered by Rosalie Pratt, a music professor at Brigham Young University. Pratt conducted a study showing the effect of lullabies on the health of newborn babies in hospital intensive care units (ICUs). For four days, newborns in the ICU were exposed to lullabies for two 20-minute sessions each day. Video cameras recorded the infants’ responses, and their heart and oxygen response measurements were calculated. These “lullaby babies” were compared to a carefully matched, “lullaby-free” control group.

  The result? Lullaby babies showed lower heart rates, increased oxygen saturation, and reduced stress behaviors than the lullaby-free babies. Biological signs of relaxation were accompanied by other positive results. Lullaby babies were able to settle down faster and eat more. They consistently grew faster and had a healthier weight gain—two important goals for infants.

  How were lullabies helping the babies? The theory is that the noisy ICU overstimulates a baby’s nervous system. Noise keeps babies from resting and provokes stress movements that use up calories needed for growth. Soothing lullabies distract babies from stressful sounds. They help the babies rest, relax, eat, and grow stronger.

  A LULLABY A DAY REDUCES THE HOSPITAL STAY?

  Whatever the reason, other studies are confirming that premature babies benefit from lullabies. A two-year study on premature infants at Children’s Hospital in Akron, Ohio, showed that lullaby preemies gained more weight and grew faster than lullaby-free preemies. Lullaby preemies were discharged from the hospital an average of 12 days earlier.

  An ongoing study in the Akron hospital is testing the healing value of familiar lullabies. Classic tunes such as “Rock-a-Bye Baby” and “Hush, Little Baby” are now filling the neonatal ICU. In addition to the recorded tunes, the babies also hear a heartbeat in the background to simulate the sound they hear in the womb. You can get relaxed just thinking about it.

  YOU AIN’T GOT A THING

  IF YOU AIN’T GOT THAT SWING

  Turns out that “Rock-a-Bye Baby” is good advice—except for that whole treetop thing. The common rocking motion that mothers use while they sing to their babies can make a lullaby even more beneficial. Some scientists believe that rocking soothes babies by mimicking the sensations they felt in utero.

  Dr. Mary Neal constructed a swinging bassinet for premature babies. The preemies placed in her hammock were faster to develop reflexes like crawling and grasping at objects than preemies who didn’t experience the movement of the hammock.

  TO CROON OR NOT TO CROON

  The verdict of science? Keep the lullabies coming! Studies show that you don’t have to sing like Ella Fitzgerald to soothe a baby. Even musically challenged parents enhance their child’s development by warbling a soothing lullaby and rocking their baby to sleep. Just try to stay on key.

  TV Moms III: TV Gets Real(er)

  Check out these TV moms who finally got real, man.

  Moms started to become a bit more real in the 1970s and 1980s. As the number of single parents soared from 3.8 million in 1970 to 6.9 million in 1980, TV writers introduced moms in not-so-great marriages, as well as single and working moms.

  EDITH BUNKER: A REAL DINGBAT?

  The Show: All in the Family (1971–1979)

  At first glance, All in the Family seemed like a step backward. Ditzy Edith Bunker (played by Jean Stapleton) seemed a deferential housewife to her boorish husband, Archie, who called her “Dingbat” and often told her to “Stifle!” But a closer look shows that All in the Family’s unflinching comedic take on social issues and family life was quite revolutionary.

  Edith didn’t have a glamorous life; the Bunkers were staunchly blue-collar. She dressed simply (no pearls for her!), and her house was clean, but a little on the shabby side. Her grown daughter, Gloria, and son-in-law, Mike, brought the generation gap to the table and Archie’s prejudiced ways out in the open. As a balance, Edith became the heart, soul, and conscience of the show. The Bunker clan reshaped family TV, introducing “gritcoms.”

  Fun Fact: In 1972, the show won an Emmy for the episode called “Edith’s Problem.” What was Edith’s problem? Menopause. And it was the first real mention of it on TV.

  MS. ANN ROMANO: A REAL SINGLE MOM

  The Show: One Day at a Time (1975–1984)

  Ann Romano (played by Bonnie Franklin), on the series One Day at a Time, was in a tough spot. Divorced after 17 years of marriage, with little job experience, she found herself single with two teen daughters to support. So the family moved to an apartment where every week a new family drama played itself out. Luckily for the audience, the building’s superintendent and resident Romeo wannabe, Schneider, served up the comic relief to keep things light.

  Nothing was easy for Ms. Romano, certainly not finding a job or raising her two daughters alone. Ann tussled with the same troubles that faced divorced mothers of her day—tight budgets, deadbeat dads, rebellious teenagers, the need for a career, and the longing for romance. The series walked a fine line between drama and comedy. The issues were serious, but t
he humor was there and was genuine.

  Fun Fact: Mackenzie Phillips, who played the eldest daughter, Julie, was the real-life daughter of John Phillips, one of the founding members of the singing group the Mamas and the Papas.

  KATE AND ALLIE: A REAL ODD COUPLE

  The Show: Kate and Allie (1984–1989)

  Kate and Allie (Kate was played by Susan Saint James, Allie by Jane Curtin) followed the friendship of two single moms who were high-school buddies and now found themselves recently divorced moms. To save money and find mutual support, they shared a Greenwich Village apartment with their combined family of three kids.

  Kate was trendy and a little more independent. Allie was old-fashioned and a bit uptight. They leaned on each other while coping with the ups and downs of romance, the trials of raising kids in New York, and the oddities of their family unit.

  Fun Fact: As an original cast member on Saturday Night Live, Jane Curtin can be seen in reruns as an out-of-this-world mother and conehead, Prymaat, who insisted that she was from France.

  CLAIR HUXTABLE: A REAL SUPERMOM

  The Show: The Cosby Show (1984–1992)

  In the 1980s, The Cosby Show dominated Thursday nights. It seemed everyone was tuning in to watch the Huxtables—the five lively children, funny father Heathcliff, and supermom Clair (played by Phylicia Rashad). A successful attorney, as well as a down-to-earth parent, Clair managed the pressures of her profession, cared for an upscale home, and coped with the antics of five lively children—all without taking any backtalk along the way.