The Backup and the Baby (New Hampshire Bears 7)

by Mary Smith

  “I can move—”

  “No. Stay.” He cuts me off and slides closer. “Just sit up.”

  I do as he says and he maneuvers himself behind me.

  “Now, sit back.”

  I ease back and I’m resting on his chest.

  “Are you uncomfortable?”

  I shake my head. My mouth is too dry to say anything.

  “Do you want me to move?”

  I shake my head again and stare at the TV. I tense up when Teo rests his hand on my slightly exposed stomach. All we’ve done is kiss before this. He’s never really touched me. Only my hips and waist.

  He slowly traces the waistband of the leggings. I feel the goosebumps rising on my skin. My breathing hitches as he moves up my torso.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he whispers in my ear.

  “No.” I manage to say. I blink hard to focus on Dr. Sheldon Cooper, but it’s not working.

  He traces the bottom of my bra with the faintest touch. “Are you okay?”

  I dig my nails into his thighs but say nothing.

  “N, are you okay with me doing this?” he asks again with a bit firmer tone.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  He stops and removes his hands from my scorching skin. I must have done something wrong. What happened? I thought he was going to touch me more.

  “N? Nova? Look at me.”

  I turn my face up to him and he brings his lips to mine. Together we roll and move until I’m on my back and Teo is above me. He places his hand under my shirt, tracing my bra line again. I want him to touch every part of me as our tongues battle each other.

  “Is this okay?” He pants a bit as he tugs down the cup of my bra.

  I moan as he pulls at my rock hard nipple.

  “I’m going to take that as a yes.” He chuckles and sucks on my earlobe.

  “Teo.” I blow his name softly from my lips.

  “Your breasts are fantastic.”

  Is this something males say to females? Is this dirty talk? Does he really think this? My breasts are not all that great.

  “May I suck them, N?”

  No way! Wait! My eyes shut tight. I read this in romance books. I can do this. I shouldn’t base sex off of romance novels, but I have nothing else to base it on. “Yes.”

  He pushes my shirt up and kisses in between my breasts before moving over to my left breast suckling it into his mouth. I try my best to keep my eyes closed and not forget to breathe.

  “N, relax. It’s okay.” He releases my nipple and brings his face back up to mine. “Are you uncomfortable?” I keep my eyes shut.

  “I’ve…I’ve never…” I trail off and turn my head away from him.

  “Oh, Nova.” He gently pulls my shirt down and rolls onto his side. “Look at me please.”

  I force myself to face him.

  “Don’t be ashamed. I didn’t mean to push you. I just wanted to feel you.” His tone is sincere and serious. He means every word. “You’re a good person, Nova, and I like you. If all you want to do is watch silly shows and eat pizza, then you can count me in.”

  My heart swells blissfully. “I’m nervous.” I confess.

  “It’s okay to be nervous. When you feel you want to do more, or not, then we’ll deal with it then.” He pecks my lips lightly and sits up.

  I follow suit and adjust my bra and shirt back into place. I feel the hot tears burning behind my eyes. I feel humiliated, not from his words because I know he means it, but from the fact I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

  “Hey, N.” Teo stares at me in sort of disbelief. “Why do you look sad? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” He cups my face.

  “I wish I wasn’t awkward.” The first tear falls.

  “You’re not awkward, N. You’re beautiful. I can’t say I know what you’ve been through in your life, but I have an idea. I don’t want to be some Alpha male who pushes you into something you’re not ready for. I like you too much.”

  I smile through the tears. “I like you too, Teo.”

  “Then we’ll go slow. Together.” He kisses me and everything seems right again.

  THIS PAST WEEK has been beyond wonderful. I can’t even explain it. Teo and I have been texting like mad. Not to mention we’ve had dinner every night together. The kissing is getting better, and I’m more confident with him. Tonight we have my shirt off and my leggings too. I’m on my back in the bed only in my satin undergarments. Teo’s shirt is off and his jeans are unbuttoned. I don’t even remember how this happened, but I’m enjoying it beyond words.

  I had a long talk with Caryn Hammonds my therapist. I don’t go as often as I did when Sharon first killed herself. However, I considered it an emergency. She helped me see there’s nothing to be scared of and I need to remember I’m not worthless nor fat. Sharon had constantly told me these things. In my heart, I’m aware neither of those things are true, but there are times when my head gets to be too much and I think they are true.

  Tonight I push all those thoughts away.

  Teo kisses me harder, trailing his fingers up and down my thighs. Each time he lightly brushes up my legs he comes closer and closer to my core. I know what’s coming and I want it to. I bend my knees slightly, spread my legs a bit, and dig my fingers into Teo’s hair. I try to remain relaxed as he gingerly swipes me above my lacy thong. I gasp against his mouth as he slides the material to the side and touches me.

  “Fuck you’re wet.” He mumbles and dips his finger in me.

  I tense up.

  “Here I’ll stop.” He goes to move but I grab his wrist.

  “No, you don’t have to. I’m just…” Scared. Nervous. Afraid I’ll suck at this.

  “I’m here to spend time with you. If you want to stop—”

  “No. I’m really okay. I just don’t want to suck at this. I’m certain you’ve been with several women, and I’m betting they were all sensational in bed.” I mumble the last part.

  “N.” He moves his hand and hovers over me resting on his forearms. “I’ve been with three females.” He glares at me. “This is new for me too. I’ve never been with a virgin, and I want to make this special for you as well as for me. Although more for you.”

  There he goes again–saying all the right words to me and making me feel as if I can rule the world with his support. I push on his chest and make him sit up on his haunches. I raise up on my knees and with shaky fingers I unhook my bra and let it drop from my body. Then I sit back on my ass and wiggle my hips until I’m able to kick my thong away.

  “I’m ready for you, Teo.”

  End of October

  NEVER, EVER, EVER Google or use Web MD if you’re ill. I’m such an idiot. I’m certain it’s just the virus or something I ate, but here I am again throwing up as if my life depends on it. I cling tightly to the toilet and wish Janan was here to help. She’s going through her own stuff with Hamilton and I don’t want to be a bother to her or him. I look at the screen again on Web MD. I’m insane to think I’m pregnant. Teo and I have used a condom every single time we’ve had sex–without fail. Therefore, it has to be a virus.

  Then why did I buy a double pack of pregnancy tests? Or several double packs?

  I hated to call off my shift, but I did because if I am pregnant I may lose my mind. Plus I told Teo I would come to his and Nathan’s party tonight. If I am, I’ll tell him then. I’m certain he’ll be supportive. Crap, how am I going to tell Uncle Tad and Uncle Oliver? They’re going to be disappointed in me. I can feel it.

  I drink a lot of water and then take one of the tests. I don’t look at it. I go back to the living room and drink more water until I’m ready to take the second test. Then the third and then the fourth. Is this insane? Most definitely.

  I close my eyes and take a big deep breath. I slowly open my lids and see each test is positive.

  Oh my God! I’m going to have a baby.

  January

  THERE’S NO POSSIBLE way I can throw up anymore. It’s impossible, but h
ere I am hanging onto the toilet as if it’s an extension of my own body. It’s the same place I’m at every single morning when I first wake up. After I’m finished, I get ready for the rest of my day, and I head downstairs.

  I’m not sure how Janan and her now husband, Hamilton, convinced me to move in with them into Hamilton’s mansion. But here I am.

  “Toast and green tea.” Janan sets both in front of me as I sit on the stool at the breakfast bar.

  “Thank you.”

  “I see the morning sickness isn’t slowing down.” She observes.

  I shake my head. “I’m not sure what I’m eating for this to keep happening.”

  “Remember the doctor said it’s not what you’re eating, just your hormones and such.”

  “I know. I know.” I sigh sipping my tea. “I’m getting fat, Jan.”

  “You’re pregnant. It’s part of the package.” I rub my rounding belly.

  “How is my baby girl doing?” Janan comes around and rubs it as well. “You need to stop making your mother sick, young lady.”

  I softly giggle as the light flutters in my stomach tell me my little girl is moving. “I think she’ll try.”

  “Hey, what’s all this fun going on without me?” Hamilton comes into the kitchen. He kisses Janan full on and then kisses the top of my head.

  “We were talking about my morning sickness,” I tell him.

  “Yuck.” Hamilton is a tough hockey player but not when it comes to bodily functions.

  “Aw, what are you going to do when she comes out all gooey.” Janan taunts him and he curls up his nose.

  “I’ll be in the waiting room. Just let me know when she’s all cleaned up and then I’ll come in.” He goes over and makes a cup of coffee.

  I miss coffee.

  I finish my small breakfast and tell them I’m heading to class. I decided since my daughter isn’t coming until the middle of May, I should be able to finish this semester. After that, I’m not too sure. I had to quit my job at the steakhouse because I had been calling off too much. It hadn’t been fair to everyone else because I wasn’t dependable.

  For money, I’m living off the small trust fund left by my mother. I try to give Hamilton money all the time for bills, but he never takes it, or if he does he always rips up the check. I should be driving to school, but I take a detour and end up at Uncle Oliver’s office. I need some advice and I know he’ll be honest with me.

  “Hi, Peggy.” I smile at his receptionist.

  “Nova, look how adorable you are.” Her face lights up seeing me. She’s a sweet woman.

  “Thanks.” I rub my belly. “I feel very fat though.”

  “Never. You are so cute.”

  I smile. “Is Uncle Oliver in?”

  “Yes. He has about ten minutes before a meeting. Go ahead in.”

  I nod and knock on the office door. He yells for me to enter. Uncle Oliver owns the New Hampshire Bears, the Manchester Cats, a professional baseball team, and the Concord Rams, a professional football team. Not to mention all his businesses he has and is part of.

  “Well, my day just got a million times better.” He stands and comes over and wraps me up in his arms. Like with Uncle Tad, I feel safe. “What do I owe the pleasure? Is Peanut okay?”

  I giggle. “Peanut is fine. May we sit for a moment? I need some advice.”

  “Of course, I am here for you.” He guides me over to the couch.

  “I know you don’t agree with me not telling him about the baby. I know you’ve been helping me out more and more and I feel like I need to repay you.” He goes to say something, but I cut him off. “Let me get this out. I know you’ll not take a dime from me. However, my trust fund won’t last long, especially with a baby, so I’m asking what you think I should do?”

  It’s childish for me to ask him such a broad question, but he’ll help me.

  “Do you mean job wise or what? Are you thinking of giving up the baby?”

  “No.” I rush out. “That’s not an option. I will do anything and everything to take care of my baby. I meant job wise. I’m in school right now. I’ll need something so I can keep her in daycare and such.”

  “And school?”

  “I’m hoping to find a day job. She’ll be in daycare, then I’ll take online classes. I want to graduate. I don’t want to fail.”

  Uncle Oliver grins. “You will not fail. I will not allow it. Give me a moment.” He stands and leaves the room for a couple of moments. When he comes back there’s another man with him.

  “Nova, this is Joshua Carmichael.” Uncle Oliver introduces me to a man who appears to be in his late forties. “He’s an attorney for me who works right here for the Bears.”

  “Nice to meet you.” He holds his hand out and I shake his hand.

  “Joshua, this is my goddaughter Nova Long.” Uncle Oliver beams. “Nova, Joshua keeps assistants on staff to help with errands and paperwork and such.”

  I nod, unsure why he’s telling me this.

  “He’d love for you to become one of his assistants.”

  I shake my head. “I didn’t mean for you to give me a job. I can’t take a job right now. I’m in school, and I’m still pregnant.” I point to my belly.

  “You can start in July. Right before the draft,” Uncle Oliver states.

  “You can’t hold a job for me that long.” Tears begin to well up in my eyes because I’m sure he’s just creating a job for me, and it’s not what I wanted.

  “Listen to me.” He places his hand on my shoulder. “This job is yours. It’ll be part-time so you can still go to school and take care of the baby.”

  “Uncle Oliver.” I stare down at the ground...well...my belly.

  “Joshua, she’ll start in July,” Uncle Oliver tells him.

  “Nova, it’ll be a pleasure to work with you,” Joshua says.

  I lift my head and nod since I can’t speak with the large lump in my throat. When Joshua leaves I turn to my godfather.

  “You didn’t have to. I just wanted advice.”

  “I gave you a solution.”

  “I don’t even know how much it pays or the hours.”

  He puts both his hands on my shoulders again. “We’ll work it all out later. My question is, and I want the truth, do you need money right now to get you through until July?”

  “I’m okay because Hamilton won’t take any money and Janan has been using his vehicles for me to have transportation.”

  “Do you want your own car? Something more family friendly?”

  I groan. “Do not buy me a car.” I know how he works and he will do it.

  “Promise me something, please.”

  I nod.

  “If you need anything for yourself, or the baby, you come to me. No matter the time, or amount of money.”

  “I promise.”

  He hugs me. “Now, go to class and drive carefully the roads are still slick.”

  I giggle. “Thank you for everything. I love you.”

  “Love you too and Little Peanut.” He hugs me again. “Let me walk you out. I have an appointment to get to.”

  He helps me with my coat and we walk out together, but my world comes to a stop as we reach the doors. Uncle Oliver’s offices are attached to the New Hampshire Bears arena, and the players are coming in for practice.

  And he sees me…

  Teo Elgin.

  He stares at me for a good few seconds before Uncle Oliver steers me away toward the main doors. I try to keep my breathing even–I don’t want to cry.

  Uncle Oliver walks me to the car and I know he’s disappointed in me. “You’ll tell him someday, right?”

  “Someday.”

  AFTER ALL MY classes, I’m starving. Typically, I keep snacks with me, but today they’re not cutting it. I know exactly where to go–Red Arrow Diner. It has the best food.

  I slide into the booth and order more food than I can possibly eat, but I want it all. I pull out my cell phone and check Instagram first. I love looking at all the c
elebrities and the goings-on in their lives. Besides Janan, I don’t have friends. I’m not very sociable at all.

  When my food comes I begin to devour it but startle when someone slides in across from me.

  I love his eyes.

  “Nova.”

  I swallow my food down. “Teo.” I wipe my mouth. “How are you?”

  He shrugs.

  This is the first time I’ve seen him since that night. The night he broke my heart.

  “You’re pregnant.”

  It’s not a question. I protectively cover my belly. I nod.

  “Is it mine?”

  This is not how I pictured the conversation to go. In my mind the day I’d tell him we’d be happy and in love. Never going to happen.

  “Is it mine?” He repeats. Before I can say anything, he grows upset. “So help me God if it is I swear you’ll never see it. You can’t lie to me all these months and think it’s okay.”

  I gasp. He’ll take my daughter. “The baby isn’t yours.” I lie.

  He looks sad for a second before nodding. “Fine, but just know this, we could’ve been great together.” He slides out of the booth and leaves.

  I keep my hands tight around my belly praying to be strong and hoping I made the right decision.

  May

  THE PAIN IS intense. It’s like my body is being ripped in half, and I am exhausted.

  “Push, Nova.” Janan holds my hand. “Come on.”

  My doctor tells me to push harder and with all my might I bear down and use every muscle strength I have left to push my daughter out.

  “She’s out!” Janan cheers.

  The doctor lays my daughter on my chest. I love her already, but she’s gross looking. I watch while the nurses wipe her down. Her bluish gray skin scares me for a second because she’s not crying, but then she wails. It’s like music to my ears.

  “We’ll clean her up and bring her back.” The nurse takes her away.

  “You did it.” Janan hugs me the best she can since I’m half sitting up and half lying down.

  “Where’s my baby?” My head is fuzzy. I feel dizzy.