With the greatest of reluctance he removed his hands. As soon as he let go of her, she reached in her purse for the gold band and handed it back to him.
Her eyes pleaded with him for understanding. “I can’t marry you, Andre. Since it’s such a precious heirloom, I wouldn’t dare keep it in my possession.”
She backed further away from him and clung to one of the chairs, as if she needed to put up a shield between them. Andre realized she required special handling. He just hadn’t planned on things getting difficult quite this soon.
“I’m sorry I behaved the way I did in front of Natalie Cairns. I thou—”
“I know exactly what construction you put on her presence here,” he finished the sentence for her. “If I had felt that way about Natalie, I would never have pursued you.
“As it is, I’m in love with you. I’ve told her and everyone else in this house that you’re my fiancée. Gerda and her family realize that you have every right to come and go here as you please. One day this is going to be your house too.”
She finally met his gaze. Her startled green eyes mirrored her confusion. “But I’m not your fiancée.”
“You are as far as I’m concerned. Did you ever get hold of Dr. Barker?”
His question seemed to throw her. “Yes.”
“Though I can’t imagine it, did he get ugly?”
She shook her silky blond head. “No. Howard said he realized I was in love with you. He even—” Her throat was working.
“What?” Andre prodded.
“He asked me not to stay away from church because of him.”
“As I told you earlier, he’s a good man.”
“He is.”
“But he’s not the man for you, thank God. Come on, darling. If we’re going to get you to the airport on time, we need to transfer your things to my car.”
Without giving her a chance to protest, he ushered her from the room and walked her through the house to get his keys.
“What happened when you talked to your mother?” he asked minutes later when they were in his car, backing down the drive. “Does she know we almost got married?”
Francesca hugged her corner of the seat. “Yes.”
Andre was elated over that fact. “Judging from your reaction, I take it she’ll never be able to forgive me for attempting to elope with her daughter. No doubt she wants nothing to do with me.”
“That’s not true,” she said in a shaky voice. “She would like to meet you. As for our not getting married, she was…disappointed.”
“Francesca—if that’s the case, then let’s plan another wedding. We’ll keep it a secret until you’re ready for everyone to know.”
“No, Andre. In the first place my mother wouldn’t consider us married if we did that.”
“What do you mean?”
She moistened her lips, a habit she didn’t seem to be aware of when she was nervous. “I know her views. She would say that a marriage kept in the dark is no marriage, and that all we’ve done is get a license to—to—”
“Indulge our pleasure?” Andre easily supplied the words she couldn’t speak. “Your mother’s right. A bride is supposed to shout her happiness to the world.
“My Aunt Maudelle wanted me to get married so badly, I believe she’d already designed the wedding dress for my intended before I ever left New Orleans.”
After a pause, “Were you in love with a girl in your teens?”
Her curiosity made Andre smile inwardly. “No, but my aunt had several choice young ladies picked out for me. Good Catholic girls from fine French families with impeccable pedigrees.”
“She certainly wouldn’t have approved of me then.”
He chuckled. “By the time I turned thirty, if I had brought you home to meet her with my ring on your finger, she would have bowed down and kissed your Protestant feet for joy.”
“I think my mother has reached that point herself.”
“Since she’s still very much alive, then maybe we ought to consider doing something to make us all happy.”
“Andre— I’d rather we changed the subject.”
“I think not. We need to talk about your fears and deal with them. From all accounts you’ve been raised in a God-fearing home by a wonderful woman who lived through your father’s betrayal and is still anxious for you to marry.”
“But it’s so unfair what happened to her!”
“I agree.”
“My father came from a prominent family with a wonderful pedigree. He was educated and had every opportunity to succeed. He and Mother fell madly in love. According to my grandmother, everyone said it was the match of the decade.
“A few years after they’d been married, he started to travel. Pretty soon he was gone weekends, then whole weeks at a time. At an early age, I can remember hearing my mother cry at night. I knew why, because I was crying for him too.”
She turned her head to look at him. Those green orbs glittered with unshed tears. “How can anyone know what the future is going to hold? Uncle Donald, my father’s brother, is just the opposite. He’s a rock, devoted to his wife and children.
“What went wrong with my father? How could he have done what he did to Mother and me?” Her voice quivered.
Andre’s jaw hardened. Francesca’s fears went soul deep. For the first time in their relationship he began to wonder if there was any hope for them.
“I don’t have an answer for that, Francesca. No one does. All you can do is try to live your own life to the fullest. That’s what I want to do. With you.”
“Until you grow tired of me?” She fired the question at him.
“That works both ways,” he said struggling to stay on an even keel with her. “But in our case we’re older than some couples. Having found each other a little later in life, I don’t see our feelings changing for each other. When the children come, it will only put a seal on our love.”
“What if we don’t have children?”
With her head bent, he wasn’t certain he’d heard her correctly. “Is there a medical reason why you can’t have them?”
Her head flew back. “No. But what if one of us decided we didn’t want them?”
“Well, probably not for a little while after our marriage. Right now I can’t think beyond making love to you for days and nights on end.”
“Andre—” came her anguished cry. “Do you really want children?”
Her question surprised him. Maybe it shouldn’t have, but it did. “Of course. One of the reasons I bought the house is because it has five spacious bedrooms. I was hoping we’d fill them with some golden-haired cherubs and a few little dark-eyed boys. But not all in one day.”
“That’s really one of your dreams?” she asked, her voice shaking.
He studied her appealing features for a moment, wondering what was going on inside that lovely head of hers. “I grew up with an aunt who never knew the love of a man. She was cross most of the time.
“For company, I hung around my friends and their families. Was it any wonder that I often found myself dreaming about belonging to a family of my own with a loving mother and father and a bunch of brothers and sisters who could still play with me after my friends had to go home?”
His response seemed to have stunned her.
“Francesca— What’s wrong?”
“I may have had dreams like that and don’t remember. All I know is that when my father left us, I made up my mind never to marry or have children.”
He pursed his lips. “I would imagine most children would feel that way if they’d lived through your experience. Thankfully you grew up to be the breathtaking woman I want for my wife. When the time is right, we’ll have children, and we’ll love them all.”
“But what if that time never comes?”
Her question, painful for him, reached down into his soul.
“You see why I couldn’t go through with the ceremony the other night?” she blurted. “When the Judge talked about children, I couldn’t make t
he promise to put your happiness before mine by bearing you children. If anything happened to our love, at least we’d only hurt each other.”
The car resounded with her muffled sobs. She finally lifted her head. “We’re approaching the terminal. Please let me out at the curb. I don’t want you to come in with me. Promise me, Andre.”
After what she’d just revealed, he was in no mood to upset her further. There was a lot he needed to sort out when he was alone. After braking several times, he pulled over to the side. “Before you get out, let me leave you with this.”
He reached behind her neck and pulled her close to kiss her. “I’m going to go out of my mind while you’re gone. You’re my life, Francesca— the only thing that matters,” he murmured feverishly against her mouth. “Surely by now you know that. I’ll be here waiting for you when you fly home.”
A shadow darkened her eyes, as if she wanted to believe him but couldn’t trust him to keep his word. What would it take to make the shadows go away forever?
“I love you, Andre,” she cried passionately before responding to his kiss with an urgency that made him feel reborn.
As long as he had this, he could be patient in his greed for all the other things he wanted from her. He thought he’d learned patience at sea. But after meeting Francesca, he realized he didn’t know the meaning of the word.
“We thank thee for this beautiful new house in this beautiful city. We thank thee for leading us to this wonderful country and this wonderful church. Most of all, we thank thee for our beloved friend, Andre, who has been so good to us.
“He is truly a saint and deserves all of heaven’s blessings. Please watch over him and let him know we will always consider him to be a part of our family. And now we ask thee to bless this food, that it will nourish and strengthen our bodies. Help us to do good in thy service. Amen.”
“Amen,” Andre murmured, his eyes smarting. He was touched by Gerda’s heartfelt prayer. It felt good to sit around the table with their family in their new home and see how happy they were. Only one thing was missing. One person…
While Harbin carved the beef tenderloin roast he seemed to read Andre’s mind. “When will Ms. Mallory be back?”
“Late tonight. The blizzards are worse in the east than they are here. Her flight kept getting delayed, but the last time I called, her plane had finally left Logan airport.”
Gerda eyed him compassionately. “I’m sorry it has been such a long wait, Andre. I know how much you are missing her.”
“She’s my life.”
One of her eyebrows flexed. “Then you must do something about it.”
It was the first time Gerda had ever preached to him where Francesca was concerned. For a moment she reminded him of his Aunt Maudelle.
The time for truth had come. He captured her loving gaze. “I intend to. As soon as she gets off the plane.”
The waiting had been hell. Their nightly phone calls weren’t enough.
“Ja?” she asked in a wondering voice.
“You remember the night of the party?”
“Of course. Who could forget such a magnificent time?”
“I agree. It came close to being the most magnificent night of my life. Francesca and I drove to Nevada. We almost got married.”
Gerda’s smile faded. “What do you mean, almost?”
“She backed out during the ceremony.”
Everyone at the table gasped.
“It’s all right. She’s had some fears to conquer. Tonight I have a plan to help her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been in pain.”
“Francesca is very fragile. I didn’t want her to think anyone else knew about it.”
Gerda frowned. “But why would she want to back out of marriage with you? You’re so wonderful!”
“I love your exaggerations, Gerda. But thank you just the same. As for Francesca, she has her reasons.”
“No reason could be good enough to prevent her from marrying you. I’ve been waiting to give you a big wedding party.”
“I can’t think of anything nicer. When Francesca is ready, we’ll both come to you to arrange something.”
“So tonight is the night?”
“Yes.”
I’m delighted for you, Andre.” She clapped her hands. “Soon there will be little Andres running about your beautiful house. You think you are happy now. Just wait until you hold your first child in your arms.”
Harbin’s blue eyes gleamed. “Mother’s right, Andre. A house truly becomes a home when the little ones arrive.”
“I must admit I’m looking forward to that day myself. But right now I’d settle to have Francesca back safely back in my arms.”
“Of course you would,” she commiserated.
“After dinner, if you think you can concentrate, we’ll continue our chess game until you have to leave for the airport,” Harbin suggested.
Andre flashed him a smile. “You wouldn’t by any chance be planning to take advantage of me would you?”
“Ja.” A big grin broke out on Harbin’s face.
“I don’t mind. I need the distraction.”
“I thought you might.”
An hour later Harbin declared checkmate. Andre’s thoughts had definitely not been on the game. He thanked the family for their hospitality, then left the house and headed for the airport.
The streets had been plowed, making it easier to maneuver the Mercedes. Thank heaven he wouldn’t be going home alone tonight. Now that Gerda’s family had moved out, the place felt deserted. He needed Francesca to give it life, to fill it with love.
Fran stared out of the jet’s window into the darkness. Now that the pilot had announced the approach for Salt Lake International Airport, she was feeling sick to her stomach. Andre was down there waiting for her.
The long, desolately lonely week punctuated with phone calls that only made the aching worse, had proven one thing to her. He was too exceptional a man to hurt.
He wanted children, a family. Fran could give him love, but she couldn’t give him those things. She refused.
For that reason she would tell him it was truly over. Tonight she had to walk away from him while she was still strong enough.
It had been a mistake to drive to Nevada and raise his hopes. The night of the party she had thought with her heart instead of her head. Thank heavens they hadn’t slept together. Even so, she was in the kind of emotional trouble she might never get out of if she didn’t sever the bond immediately.
It wasn’t too late. They’d only been seeing each other off and on since his party. Compared to marriage of a year or five year’s duration, a week or so was nothing.
Andre wouldn’t fight her on this. He wanted children. That fact had come across loud and clear on their drive to the airport. When he knew there was no hope, he would disappear from Salt Lake forever. That was what she wanted. It was the only way she would survive.
Since the first day she’d set eyes on him, her life had been nothing but an exercise in agony. He’d represented forbidden fruit, something she hadn’t been able to resist. Now having dared to taste it, she would be required to suffer over the loss.
Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all— They’d never fallen under the spell of Andre Benet. They didn’t have the faintest conception of what they were talking about.
“Francesca? Over here, darling.”
Even before she spotted him in the crowd of passengers assembled in the terminal waiting room, she could hear the deep resonance in his voice calling to her.
The second she saw his handsome face she averted her eyes, refusing to indulge herself when she planned to end their relationship as soon as possible.
He reached for her and clung. “I thought this day would never come. Let’s get out of here.” She could feel his urgency to be alone with her, but because of the press from the crowd he didn’t try to kiss her. It was her salvation for the moment—another chance to harde
n herself for what was to come.
After relieving her of her camera case, he slid his hand to her neck and ushered her downstairs to retrieve her luggage and briefcase. Fran was afraid to talk until they had complete privacy. Andre must have felt the same way. Instead of verbal conversation, his fingers caressed her skin, sending a silent message that soon they would be alone to welcome each other in the only way that could assuage their needs. Though she tried not to react, his touch set off prickles of delight throughout her body.
After the freezing cold of the carpark, Fran detected a lingering warmth in the Mercedes as Andre helped her inside and shut the door. When he had taken his place behind the wheel, he started the engine, then reached across the console to take her in his arms.
“You’ve been away too long,” he murmured in an aching voice.
It was agony not to respond, but she was fighting for her life. Turning her head to the side to avoid his mouth she said, “Andre? Would you mind just driving me home? I’m not feeling very well at the moment. I’ll get my car from your house later.”
She felt his slight hesitation before his hands slowly released her and he sat back in the leather seat. Out of the periphery she could tell his dark, intelligent eyes were studying her intently. “When we last spoke, you didn’t sound ill. Did you get airsick?”
“No,” she answered, her voice trembling.
“Then you must have come down with a cold. It’s a good thing you’re back so I can take care of you.”
No, Andre— her heart cried in renewed anguish. I can’t let you do that. I can’t let myself become any more vulnerable to you than I already am.
In an economy of movement he turned up the heat and reversed the car so they could exit the parking area with dispatch. By the time they joined the freeway leading into the city, Fran felt the necessity of making some sort of conversation to ease the palpable tension inside the car.
“I-It looks like Salt Lake’s streets are in better shape than those back east.”
She heard him suck in his breath. “Obviously something happened while you’ve been away to turn you inside out. Don’t play games with me, Francesca. We’ve been through too much together not to tell each other the truth. I want to know what’s wrong, and I want to know it now.”
Husband Potential Page 14
