Holiday with You

by Claudia Burgoa

  As I lift the lid on the box, my mind races in time with my heart. Is it a sweater? An honorary adoption of a polar bear? Breath mints?

  Nestled in a bed of tissue paper is a picture frame filled with a collage of photos from my time here. One of Perry dragging me toward the giant tree she initially wanted. Another of Colin and me ice skating. The selfie the three of us took two days ago when we finished the dollhouse.

  And one of us kissing in front of the B&B.

  “Mrs. Pollard sent me that one.” His voice has a husky quality with a hint of amusement.

  “And this one?” I point at the image of the day we went ice skating.

  His cheeks turn my favorite shade of red. “The hockey team manager said we looked like we were having fun and sent this to me.” He stares intently at the collage. “I like all these moments.”

  Me too. I more than like them.

  I want a million of these moments, yet they seem so far out of reach. Even though they’re right here in front of me. Around me.

  I throw my arms around his neck, and he kisses my forehead. That’s the only photo missing from the collection. And it’s one I’ll have to hold in my memories.

  “Unicorn.” There’s so much emotion behind the word that it sounds as if it’s been yanked from his soul. I’m afraid to look too deep into the meaning. I’m terrified I won’t hear what I want to. That I won’t see what I want to see.

  And that tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up back in my bed in LA, and this will have been nothing more than a dream.

  “Do you love it?” Perry flops down beside me. “I told Daddy how to arrange the pictures.”

  A lump forms in my throat. “It’s perfect.”

  I put an arm around her, and she snuggles her warm body against mine.

  “Ooh. Don’t move. I need to get a picture of this.” Clarissa holds up her phone and taps the screen. “You’re going to need a bigger frame,” she says after examining the still shot.

  “Can we go to Maggie’s now? I want her to have the dollhouse first thing.” Perry scrambles to her feet.

  “Cupcake, it’s barely daylight.”

  “So? What if she’s awake already?”

  The rationale of a four-year-old never ceases to astound me. How is Colin supposed to argue with that?

  “We need a hand, boys,” he says to his brothers.

  “Take them some muffins,” Mrs. Bradford says. “And don’t forget Maggie’s other gifts.” She gathers them from underneath the tree and places them on the bench in the foyer.

  “I’d like to go with you,” I say softly to Colin.

  “Of course you’re coming,” he returns as if I were crazy for thinking otherwise.

  Those words sound incredible. I'm enough. I'm wanted and included.

  “Then I’d better go change clothes.” I look down at my onesie.

  “No!” Perry shrieks. “We found Maggie a onesie too. She’ll match us.” She sits in the middle of the foyer and tugs on her boots.

  I follow her lead. She’s in charge, after all.

  The lights are on at the house we approach. The rest of the street is quiet as the sun begins to make its trek higher in the sky.

  Perry rings the doorbell and knocks with her little fist. After a minute, a woman answers the door in a tattered robe and socks with a hole in the toe.

  “Perry? Colin? What are you doing here?” She doesn’t bother to hide her surprise.

  “We’re Santa’s Helpers!” Perry says enthusiastically.

  “We already delivered our gifts,” she says, and I swallow hard.

  It’s apparent this family is having a difficult time, judging by her outfit. Though, to be fair, I have socks with holes in them too. The small house is kempt, but I notice a rotted board on the porch and the fading paint on the shutters.

  And they took a Santa’s Helpers ornament on the tree to help someone else in need. I had to look back toward the street to compose myself, but it didn’t help. Colt and Morgan have the dollhouse precariously balanced.

  The generosity of this town is almost too much.

  “This is for Maggie,” Perry says in only the way a child can. No judgment. Just simple honesty.

  The woman puts a hand to her throat. “You didn’t have to—”

  A little girl quietly slips under her mother’s arm and presses to her side.

  “Hey, Maggie.”

  “Hey, Perry,” she says, barely above a whisper.

  “Mind if we bring some things inside?” Colin asks with a smile no one could resist.

  “No.” She shakes her head as if to clear it. “Come on in.”

  There’s a tree in the living room that looks like it could’ve been the last one on the lot. The branches are sparse, but it’s brightly decorated with lights and ornaments. Two small presents are underneath.

  “Where would you like this?” Morgan asks.

  Maggie’s mom points at the tree. “There is fine. Thank you.”

  “What is it?” Maggie stares at the giant package. We’d wrapped the house in pretty paper and put a huge bow on it.

  “It’s for you.” Perry grins mysteriously.

  Colin sets the other presents beside the dollhouse under the tree. “We didn’t mean to interrupt your morning. Merry Christmas.”

  “Don’t forget the muffins,” Perry says.

  I hold out the tray Mrs. Bradford sent, and Maggie’s mom accepts.

  “Merry Christmas,” she says with glassy eyes before she closes the front door.

  We’re barely back to the sidewalk when the door is flung open.

  “Perry!” Maggie shouts.

  Perry turns around and hurries back toward the front stoop. “What?”

  “I got a dollhouse! A big one. Wanna come over later and play?” the little girl asks shyly.

  I smile to myself at her excitement. I wish I’d seen her tear into the wrapping paper.

  “Yes!” Perry says. “Daddy, when can I come play?” She looks at him with those big innocent eyes.

  “When Maggie’s mom says it’s okay.”

  The two girls hug. One skips back to her house, and the other toward us.

  Perry grabs Colin’s and my hand. “I like being Santa’s Helper.”

  And just like that, I realize who I want to be like when I grow up. Perry.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Colin

  “This day . . . this week”—Audrey yawns—“has been so unexpected.”

  We’re sitting on the couch in the den. It seems like her favorite place to be when we’re in the house. Perry is in her bed asleep. She took it pretty well that Audrey is staying with us—in my room.

  “Unexpected good or bad?” I regret my question because this is the moment I want to tell her to stay with us. Promise her . . . I’m not sure what I want to promise.

  “This has been my favorite Christmas of all time.”

  “It’s one for the books,” I agree.

  “I can’t believe it’s been just a little more than a week since I arrived. It feels like this place is a part of me. I’ll be back in California soon.” She sighs, resting her head on my shoulder.

  “Hold your enthusiasm,” I joke and clear my throat. “What if I ask you to stay?”

  “Like for the night?” she stutters. “Because I am staying. We told Perry. Right?”

  I swallow hard and just come out with it. “I know it’s too soon, but I love you. Somewhere between your car smashing into my truck, that cute unicorn onesie, and the days we’ve spent together, I fell in love with you.”

  She springs off the couch and stares at me. “That’s . . . insane.”

  “Probably,” I agree with her. “Everything between us has been happening too fast. I realize how this looks from the outside. There’s this belief that falling in love happens over time. Love isn’t a one-size-fits-all. It comes in different sizes and different tempos, striking when you least expect it.

  “I love you, and maybe this is a long shot, but I wa
nt to offer you a lifetime in Winter Valley.”

  Panic flickers in her eyes, the silence between us deafening.

  “No. This isn’t happening,” she says with a shaky voice. “You’re confusing the time we’ve spent together with . . . this isn’t love.”

  She breathes harshly, pacing the room. There’s a lot I want to tell her. We can work this out is a part of my speech, but I remain silent as she deals with her thoughts. Maybe I sprung this too early. The ring in my pocket might agree with me. That’s what Elisse said when she gave it to me.

  “It’s gorgeous, and she’s going to love it, but it’s too soon.”

  She stops in front of me. Her caramel eyes stare at mine, and she shakes her head. “This is just a fling. No one falls in love in just a week. I spent years with Stan and—” She goes back to pacing. “You’re going to push me away in a couple of years when you realize I’m not what you need. What is the plan? I stay and . . . what?”

  “I want you to be a part of this family,” I answer. “I’m offering you my heart, everything I have, including Perry. Yes, I understand you had a bad relationship. I had a marriage that left me with a beautiful kid and a fear that caused me to keep people away. Or maybe I didn’t want to let anyone in until you came because we have a connection. I probably was waiting for you to arrive. The only thing I’m asking is for you to take a leap of faith.”

  “You want me to uproot my life because you’re . . . infatuated?”

  “Audrey, this is more than that,” I argue.

  “You can’t possibly believe that this is love,” she insists. “I have a job, a life, and a future in Los Angeles. You want me to leave everything behind for someone I just met?”

  “I’m . . . you said it yourself the other day, you like this town,” I remind her. “You said you could work on the B&B. I like your ideas, and I want to hire you to make everything possible. The future of the place will be in your hands.”

  She frowns. “Wait, what do you mean you like my ideas?” Her hands go to her hips, and her eyes change from affliction to confusion.

  “We own the B&B,” I confess. “Mom’s maiden name is Anna Beth Grant, and she never changed the deed to her legal name. We don’t want to sell. The place has been ours for generations and—”

  “And you couldn’t tell me that when we met?” She’s now furious.

  “It’s complicated.” The words sound weak. “You’re not the only big hotel chain wanting the B&B. People have tried to find Mom for years.”

  “The only reason I’m here is to figure out who owns it,” she whisper-yells. “I can just give the name to Aurora and be done with it. I don’t want to lose my job. I love what I do. I’ve worked hard for it, and losing it because you felt like screwing with me is unacceptable.”

  “It wasn’t like that, Audrey,” I argue. “You love what you do, but not your job. You should see how stressed you are when your boss calls you or while you’re working.”

  “Life is filled with stress. It’s natural.”

  “It’s not natural.” I run a hand through my hair. “I understand there are stressful moments while you’re working, but your life shouldn’t be stressed all the time. I’m offering a job you labeled a new dream—a life with us. Unconditional love. A family.”

  If I’m setting everything on the table, I might as well do the entire thing. I pull the ring out of my pocket.

  She gasps when I open my hand and looks at the solitaire ring sitting on my palm.

  “No,” she whispers, shaking her head and giving me a look between anger and sadness. “I can’t do this. You lied to me. I’m running the risk of losing my job, and I won’t move to a town where I can’t trust anybody.”

  “It wasn’t like that,” I assure her desperately. “We were just trying our best to keep things the way they are. I get why you want to run away, but I beg you to think before you leave. You’re the one who made me realize I can’t hide for the rest of my life because I’m afraid to live. I’m doing this because I believe in us.”

  She walks to my bedroom and gets dressed.

  “Audrey,” I say her name almost in desperation. I’m so torn. I’m terrified now that she’ll say goodbye and never contact me . . . us again. But I have to believe in my gut instinct as Mom suggested. Yes, she is trustworthy, but her trust has been broken a few times in her past. So, I beg again. For me, for her, for us. “Stay with me. Let’s write a story beyond hot chocolate, snowflakes, and silent nights.”

  “No,” she says. “This town is beautiful, but I don’t belong here. I can’t trust you.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Audrey

  What was he thinking?

  I’d been asking myself that since I shoved my belongings into my bag, stomped over to Morgan’s garage—where I found my rental car with the key under the visor in perfect condition—and drove the entire way across Utah.

  I couldn’t be bothered with a flight. No way could I sit in an airport with nothing but time to stew over everything that had happened.

  Instead, I chose the car, which may have been worse.

  I thought I needed to keep moving. I thought . . . well, I didn’t know what I thought.

  Except they’re all liars.

  Okay, Perry isn’t. But the rest? There wasn’t one single thing they’d told the truth about.

  Not. One.

  Including my rental car. How long had it been ready? Morgan hadn’t said a word. In fact, I’d kinda forgotten about the whole reason I was stuck in Winter Valley in the first place. But a fresh dusting of snow had been layered on top. I feel pretty certain he didn’t do any work on Christmas Day.

  Was there anything that family hadn’t manipulated me about?

  They’d made me look like a fool.

  Everyone in town knew who the owner of the B&B was. They’d all been in on the giant lie to the outsider. What hurt the worst was being deceived by the Bradfords.

  They made me feel like I belonged to something important. Mr. Bradford had given me an amazing father-daughter hug, holding my cheeks in his warm palms just as I’d seen him do with Clarissa and Elisse. Morgan and Colt had teased me relentlessly as they did their sisters. The girls had included me in their crazy antics with their mom, where I laughed so hard my sides had ached.

  For the first time in my life, I had felt as though I had a father who loved me, sisters who wanted to laugh with me, brothers who wanted to tease and annoy the crap out of me. And Perry’s cuddles? I’d never known they were even a possibility in life.

  I thought they treated me like family. They made me want more.

  Crazy Colin had offered me everything I’d figured out I wanted.

  But it was all wrong.

  Why did he have a ring?

  A marriage can’t be built on lies.

  I’d been real. Honest.

  He hadn’t.

  The sun appears on the horizon as I cross the Nevada state line. I’ve run on adrenaline since I left Winter Valley in the middle of the night. Now, I blink rapidly as exhaustion takes over.

  Lights of a town twinkle in the distance. My stomach rumbles, yet I can’t even think about eating. Besides reminding me of all the meals I shared with Colin and Perry, I’m certain I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down.

  I slow and take the first exit ramp. Only a few cars are on the road. I spot a decent-looking motel and pull into the parking lot.

  It takes all my strength to check in and make it to the room. I don’t even bother with my bag.

  As soon as I’m secured inside, I collapse on the bed. But sleep doesn’t immediately take me.

  Memories of the best Christmas Day I’ve ever had assault me. This time yesterday, I’d been up for a couple of hours watching everyone open presents. I’d felt welcomed and loved.

  I pull out my phone and scroll through the barrage of photos Clarissa sent me. Obviously, I’m into self-inflicted pain.

  They’re like a million daggers, each stab more painful than the las
t.

  The final one I see is of Colin giving me a forehead kiss while Perry snuggles against me. We look like a family. He looks like a man who meant every single word he spewed to me last night. Like he wants that ring on my finger.

  It’s so easy to see.

  My phone slips from my hand onto the bed. I bury my face in the pillow to cover up the sobs no one is around to hear. I didn’t cry when I left, too consumed with anger and shame.

  I didn’t cry in the five hundred miles I’d driven through the darkness.

  I love you, Audrey.

  Those words I’ve wanted someone to mean so badly for so long take me under. I shake as tears stream down my cheeks.

  I’ve grown used to my hollow life. I’ve even accepted that work fulfills me. And then Winter Valley came along. No, not Winter Valley.

  Colin Bradford.

  And his easy smile, red cheeks, and forehead kisses.

  His stop-and-smell-the-roses attitude. The way he treats his daughter . . . as though he lives and breathes for her. How he gave me something I never thought I’d have more of.

  Family.

  None of it was true.

  Everything had been a part of the keep Audrey away from the truth game they’d been playing. It might as well have been called make Audrey fall in love with us while we make her look like a fool.

  Wait.

  I’m not in love with them.

  That’s impossible.

  It was only days in the grand scheme of things. Yet my body is wracked with the pain of loss. My sobs are uncontrollable.

  I’ve never felt this . . . empty.

  I didn’t cry when Stan left me. I went to work.

  I’m not sure I ever want to get out of this bed if it means facing this pain.

  I pull my knees up to my chest and hide under the covers. I can’t unsee Perry’s happy face when we delivered the dollhouse to Maggie. I can’t unfeel the generosity and warmth of the moment.

  Cookies. Christmas trees. Skates. Flannel shirts. Painting. Laughter. Joy. Pictures.

  It all swirls in my head until I can no longer take the weight of their pain and finally give in to sleep.