The Dead Wolves: An Ashwood Novel (Cursed and Damned Book 1)

by Lee Dignam

  “I was worried,” he finally said. He had his hands in his pants pockets, and he pulled them out now. In one of them he held a phone and a set of keys, and he handed them to her now. They were hers—the phone and keys she had left in Pixi’s car.

  “You were?” she asked, taking the items from his hand.

  “I went looking for you.”

  “You wouldn’t have been able to find me. Not where I went.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “It’s a long story…”

  “We have time.”

  “No, Neo, we don’t…” she sighed, now. “Why don’t you come upstairs with me?”

  Neo nodded and stepped aside. Cyanide moved up, unlocked the front door, and let herself into her apartment building. Neo followed, and they walked up the quiet staircase in silence until they reached her apartment door. She opened the door and he followed her in without saying a word. She watched him walk up to the painting on the living room wall and examine it. He touched it lightly with his fingertips, then pulled his hand away.

  “What happened?” Neo asked.

  Cyanide shut the door. “I had the weirdest night of my life.”

  “Do you want to explain?”

  “I can explain, but it’ll take more time than we have.”

  “Summarize it.”

  She moved over to the sofa and sat down, clasping her hands between her legs and looking down at the ground. Without turning her head up at him, she asked, “How long have you known about me?”

  Neo remained silent for a time, long enough for her to hear the slow rise and fall of a car as it rolled along the street below. “I don’t know how to answer that.”

  “Truthfully would be nice. I feel like I’ve been lied to by everyone I know. I can deal with the truth—whatever that entails—but I can’t deal with more lies and secrets. If you’re going to give me any answers, make sure they’re honest.”

  “I don’t know how much I can say.”

  “Why?”

  “Because. It’s complicated.”

  “This isn’t a relationship status—it’s my life we’re talking about. I found out some shit about myself tonight that I wasn’t in a million years expecting I would learn. Then I find out Daniel has been hiding these secrets from me, and now you’re telling me you’ve known, too. For how long?”

  Neo pulled a chair out from under the kitchen table and sat down. “The whole time,” he said.

  Cyanide allowed herself a moment to process this. Part of her had suspected—he and Daniel were weirdly close. But hearing him admit he had known about her secret was somewhat of a blow. She turned her eyes toward the window and stared at the pink neon light across the street turning on and off, on and off. The bright, glowing letters never left impressions on her eyes as they would have done to a human.

  “So,” she said, not looking at him, “You and Daniel have been in cahoots about this the whole time.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “No. It isn’t.”

  She turned her head to look at him now. “Then what is it like, Neo? I’m having a hard time understanding why the both of you would have lied about something like this.”

  “We’ve done it to protect you. Believe me.”

  “To protect me from what?”

  “Not what, who.”

  Cyanide’s head cocked to the side. “From who?”

  “Look, there’s only so much I can tell you without messing it all up.”

  “Messing what up?”

  “Cy, I can’t, okay?”

  “No. It’s not oh-fucking-kay. You’re telling me that you won’t explain why it is I can’t remember anything about a life I used to live, and I’m supposed to just accept that?”

  “There’s a time and a place, and this isn’t it.”

  Cyanide stood, suddenly and sharply, and stared at Neo from across the room. He was looking at her, the tips of his red hair creeping just over his eyes, his lips pressed together. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, what defense his mind was working on, but she knew it was there; it was written plainly on his face. Here was a secret he had sworn he wouldn’t divulge, and come hell or high-water, he wouldn’t.

  She knew him well enough.

  “Do you know about the Count?” she asked, moving the conversation away from her.

  “Daniel told me about the blood hunt.”

  “And?”

  “And what?”

  “That’s good news, isn’t it?”

  “Nothing that ever comes out of the Count’s mouth is good news.”

  Cyanide cocked her head. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that you shouldn’t trust what the Count says. No one should.”

  “But Daniel thinks—”

  “Daniel is an idiot sometimes. He believes the Count has honor, that he’s a man of his word.”

  “Don’t you?”

  Neo’s face darkened. “Why do the Dead Wolves exist?” he asked.

  She had to think about that one. She had joined the Dead Wolves almost automatically because Neo was involved, but hadn’t ever truly considered the cause. At least, not in any meaningful way. To her, the Dead Wolves were a means to an end—a way of justifying her own existence as a monster who preyed on the living. But there was more to her organization than that.

  “Are you quizzing me?” she asked, avoiding the question.

  “The Dead Wolves exist because the Count is a lying sack of shit who will do anything, anything, to get what he wants, even if it means murdering one of the only vampires to ever try and bring any good to our kind.”

  “You’re talking about Crimson.”

  “I am. After the Count murdered Crimson, he made it illegal for anyone to investigate his activities or to question his methods. I had a blood hunt called on me because they found out I was looking for the missing girls; I had been getting too close. Only, they tried to make it look like I was a menace to the court and everyone in it.”

  “Why didn’t I know that?”

  “Because you didn’t have to. I wanted you focused on helping me find the girls, and if anything happened, I would get you out of trouble.”

  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Get me out of trouble? I’m not some kid who can’t defend herself.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “And if I did get into trouble like, say, a blood hunt was called on my head—what would you be able to do about it?”

  “There’s nothing I could have done about a blood hunt, but Daniel could.”

  “What could Daniel do?”

  “Daniel has influence.”

  “Not enough influence to get your blood hunt called off.”

  Neo stood now too, and the light from outside illuminated one half of his face for brief instants at a time, while the other remained cast in darkness. “I didn’t ask Daniel to try and get in the way of my blood hunt, but he would have. And he would do the same for you.”

  “I don’t believe that. Why would he? He was only paying us to find his girl.”

  He approached slowly, and a part of Cyanide wanted to back up, to move away from him like an animal cowed. “After all you’ve learned, do you really think he wouldn’t have helped you?”

  “I…”

  She was fighting a losing battle. Her argument was flawed, but she clung to it anyway like the rock climber who reaches for the rope holding him up even though he sees it falling with him. Daniel wasn’t just some other vampire paying her to do a job; she had turned him, had brought him into the night. If she came under fire, why wouldn’t he use that influence of his to help her?

  “It isn’t just because you turned him,” Neo said.

  “It’s… not?”

  He shook his head. “Daniel is a wolf too. He’s not just a wolf; he’s one of the first wolves, vampires who tasked themselves with upholding Crimson’s beliefs and ideals.”

  Cyanide gave hersel
f a second to connect the dots, and then it hit her. “He made himself look like an employer, and you went along with it. Why?”

  “Do you want the truth?”

  “Yes. I do.”

  “We wanted you to know as little as possible.”

  “Because you didn’t trust me?”

  “No. Because we knew, eventually, someone would target you to get to one of us. If you didn’t know the truth, no one would be able to draw it out of you. Daniel has a position in the court he has to maintain, so no one can know he’s in charge of our group.”

  “Am I supposed to feel good about that?”

  “Feel however you want to feel. I’ve probably told you more than Daniel wanted me to, but you had a right to know this, at least.”

  She had been disarmed, and she knew it. There wasn’t an argument she could use, no defense she could put up, that would enable her to stick to her beliefs about Daniel and the lengths he would go to make sure she was safe. The truth had been laid bare, and it was all there for her to look upon if she wanted to.

  Cyanide paced around the room, going first to the kitchen, then toward the sofa again. When she turned around to face Neo, she almost jumped at how close he was to her. He reached for her hand and squeezed it, and for the first time in as long as she could remember, she saw something written in his eyes.

  Concern.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he said.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You and me. My car is downstairs. Let’s just get up and go. The two of us. We’ll take the Trans Am and ride until sunrise, and we’ll keep riding every night until we find somewhere to settle—somewhere far away from here.”

  “I don’t… understand.”

  “Going to this thing tonight is a mistake. The Count is lying, Cyanide.”

  “How can you possibly know that?”

  “Because I know Rufus. I worked for him for a long time. I was a Count’s Guard—you know that. I know the man well. He may have called the blood hunt off, but I promise you, tonight won’t go well.”

  It wasn’t concern, now, that she could sense, but maybe fear. Neo was afraid of what might happen tonight, and this was enough to make her body tremble all over, as if the cold hand of death had passed through her—again.

  “Do you… know something?” Cyanide asked.

  “No. I don’t.”

  “But you’re convinced that this won’t go well for us. I don’t understand how that’s possible without inside knowledge.”

  “I don’t know more than you do about the Count’s intentions tonight, okay? All I’m saying is, I know that man, and if we know what’s good for us, we’ll leave.”

  Cyanide waited and examined his face. “Do you think this is a bluff?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “But, if he called the blood hunt off, then he can’t just… he wouldn’t, not in front of the whole court.”

  “A blood hunt was placed on my head because someone in the court’s inner circle found out I was poking my nose around where it didn’t belong. That hasn’t changed. Just because the blood hunt has been called off doesn’t mean I’m safe, and it doesn’t mean you are, either.”

  Her attention suddenly fell to the way he was holding her hand. He had interlocked his fingers with hers and had started pulling her hand up to his face. “Neo…” she said, but he kissed her knuckles, and with that simple gesture, he shut her up.

  “I shouldn’t have kissed you last night,” he said, moving her hand away from his lips. “I wanted to. I’ve wanted it for longer than you could imagine. Every time you slept by my side, every time you’d touch me, every time I made you smile. I fought it every damn time. Last night shouldn’t have happened; you deserved better.”

  Words failed her. It was as if her breath had hitched in her chest, though she didn’t need to breathe. Cyanide’s hand didn’t know whether to jerk out of his or reach for his face, so it did nothing and remained limp in his. Never in a million years had she expected Neo to come out and be as honest about his feelings as he had been now. During their time ‘together’, only rarely had she caught glimpses of his emotional self, and even then, they were always brief, and he was always quick to retreat into the hard shell he seemed to exist in.

  Maybe he was right; maybe they shouldn’t go to the Count’s gathering tonight. It was possible he was planning to oust Neo in front of the whole community, although nothing like that had ever happened before, so maybe this was all just Neo’s own paranoia talking. But if they went and something happened to Neo, the man she had spent the better part of two years trying to reach and now stood before her laid bare and waiting for her to respond, she would never forgive herself.

  But what about Kaitlyn? They hadn’t found her yet, and despite what Neo had just said, Daniel still needed their help. After all she had learned about him, about her past, and about their blood connection, could she just get up and leave?

  “No,” she finally said, letting go of his hand.

  Neo’s eyebrows knitted together. “No?” he asked.

  “No, I don’t deserve better. And no, we can’t just leave. You know that.”

  “I thought you said—”

  “I know what I said, and believe me, nothing would make me happier than to get in your car and get the fuck out of Ashwood with you. It’s all I want. But Daniel still needs us. If we leave, we leave him alone, and he hasn’t found Kaitlyn yet. I know you don’t trust the Count, but if we leave now, we’re no better than him. We have to do this. We have to see it through to the end and help find that girl.”

  Neo let go of her hand and his expression hardened again, the concern and the fear erased from his face like markings on the sand, washed away by the tide. “Alright,” he said.

  “Just like that?”

  He moved toward the window and cast his eyes down onto the street while resting his shoulder on the wall. “Get what you need, we leave in ten,” he said.

  “Get what I…” she was about to keep talking, but she knew it’d be no use. He had disconnected again, and getting through to him now would be impossible. But she had made her choice. They had to go and show up at the Count’s gathering. The blood hunt had been called off, that meant the Count had either changed his mind about Neo, or something bigger had happened. Whichever it was, Cyanide didn’t want to hear it from someone else.

  She headed for the door. “I don’t need to get anything,” she said.

  Neo glanced at her. “Then why did you come here?”

  “Because I knew you would be here.”

  He pushed away from the wall and headed out the door. She followed behind him, quietly mourning the missed opportunity to reach him. She had put Daniel and Kaitlyn ahead of her own feelings for Neo, ahead of her chance to make a connection with him. When she’d get another chance, she didn’t know. But it wouldn’t be before tonight was over.

  The entire trip was held in uncomfortable silence, the kind pregnant with things left unsaid. Lightning flashed across the sky as Neo drove, throwing contrast on the silhouettes of hundreds of crows watching the car as it passed beneath them. Cyanide stared back at them, and the more she stared the more a hole opened in the pit of her stomach; a hole filled with dread.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Daniel hurried back to his apartment, fidgeting with his watch and his phone the whole ride there. His nerves were shot, he couldn’t string two thoughts together without thinking about Jessica, and he had no idea what the Count was up to, but he knew in his heart there was more to tonight than met the eye, and that had thrown Daniel off. He now had no plan, no way to predict what would happen tonight; his only option was to show up and make the best of it.

  He found Jessica sitting in the penthouse suite, lounging on a long couch with a book in her hand and moonlight bathing her creamy skin. She was pale, but only due to her condition as one of the undead. Her hair was bright, full, and blonde, and she had the long, curvy legs that many women craved to have and men
craved to be in between. One look from him was all it took to have her close the book, stand bolt-upright, and hasten to his side. She could always tell when something was bothering him.

  The silken nightgown she wore followed her like a shadow, as did a light cloud of sweet perfume. She wrapped her arms around his neck, stared into his eyes, and tilted her head to the side. “Are you alright?” she asked.

  “I’m fine,” he said, placing his hands on her small waist, “But we have to leave.”

  “Leave? To go where?”

  “The Count has called a gathering of the court. Attendance is mandatory for all of us.”

  “Man… mandatory?” She let her arms slip from his neck and took a step back. “But, Daniel, I’m… I’m not ready.”

  “You are,” he said, reaching for her waist again. “You are every bit as ready as you need to be.”

  “But this isn’t how we said it would be. We had this plan to present me to the court and now—”

  He took hold of her again, gently, but assertively. “One of the fundamental truths about life is that you must always be prepared for the unexpected. We had a plan, but this is the hand we have been dealt, and we must play it.”

  “What happens if we don’t go?”

  Daniel brushed a lock of blonde hair out of her eyes. “A loss of social standing, for one. Repeat offenders are sentenced much more harshly.”

  “Would we lose a lot if we didn’t go?”

  “Jessica, we have to go. No matter how many reasons there are for us not to go, we must.”

  She moved away from him again, and padded around the sofa, her bare feet pattering on the living room’s cold, marble floors. “What will I wear?” she asked.

  “Anything you want,” Daniel said, checking his watch, “But we have to do it quickly. The gathering is at midnight, and we don’t have much time.”

  Daniel pulled his phone from his pocket and made a phone call. Ten minutes later, the penthouse was filled with busy people helping Jessica to look her best. The way a Knight presented themselves was just as important as what they did or said. Daniel’s clan wasn’t just influential, it was wealthy, too, and that meant they had to look the part. Vampires didn’t care for modesty; it was affluence and extravagance they enjoyed and admired.