One of the Guys

by A. R. Perry

  Spencer lets go and drifts toward the deep end. “It’s warm, figured we would waste the day here instead of the skate park.”

  “Wise choice.” Her fingers fiddle with the charm around her neck. “God, so many memories of you two out here.” Her heavy sigh deflates her shoulders as her chin trembles. “It’s going to be hard to let that go.” With those parting words, she rushes inside, shutting the sliding door behind her with a rattling bang.

  “What does she mean let it go?”

  Spencer stretches an arm across the cement ledge. “We graduate next year.”

  “Right. Which is a little early to be so emotional, isn’t it?”

  “You know moms.” Spencer lifts himself out of the water, giving me a great view of his muscular back. “I should go check if she needs help with lunch. Then I, uh, have a date with Zoe.” His gaze meets mine for a brief second before tugging on his shirt. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  Did he just dismiss me?

  I climb out of the pool as he dries his hair with a towel. Before I reach my clothes, he’s inside the house. With numb legs, I step into my shorts, then throw my shirt on not even caring they will be soaked by the time I make it across the street.

  My stomach hasn’t stopped quivering and it’s starting to freak me out. What he said… The way he looked at me… In all the years we have been friends I have never felt that way.

  The way I want to feel when Jax looks at me.

  I bolt from the backyard using the side exit so I don’t have to go through the house. As my feet slap on the hot concrete all I can do is pray whatever this is passes before I see him tomorrow.

  I can’t be falling for my best friend. It will ruin everything.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  All I could think as I laid awake all night staring at the boxes lining the floor. Empty boxes because I hadn’t brought myself to pack because I’m still hoping my parents will call off the divorce.

  About as stupid a thought as telling Rylee how I feel.

  Which is what I almost did.

  I almost ruined everything. Our friendship. Life as I know it. Because if I had told her I would have to follow it up with me moving and destroying our plans for the future.

  But God, I wanted to tell her. It wasn’t the plan when I invited her over but then she brought up Jax and I couldn’t lie. And then the bikini. God, that bikini.

  I never knew a girl could look that good in a bathing suit.

  With burning eyes, I prop my hip against the driver’s side door of my car. This morning Rylee never showed up for a ride to school. Ten minutes before we were supposed to be in class, I knocked on her door only to have her mother answer and tell me Rylee was feeling under the weather and would be staying home.

  Under the weather my ass.

  That’s when I realized how bad I screwed up. Even though I didn’t get the chance to spill my guts thanks to my mom’s impeccable timing, she still picked up on it.

  Same wavelength.

  So now I’m standing in my driveway holding a pint of her favorite ice cream, an offering I bring every time she is sick. Only I can’t convince my legs to work to walk across the street and knock.

  Her parents are still at work so at least that would save me some embarrassment when she stabs me in the heart and tells me the only feelings she has are ones of friendship.

  Her eyes said it all. Dread. She was just as relieved as me when my mother broke us up.

  My phone chimes in my pocket and despite my terrible mood, I answer it.

  “Hey sexy,” Zoe purrs.

  I turn away from Rylee’s house and rest my elbow on the roof. “Hey.” There’s no excitement in my voice but doesn’t seem to faze her.

  “So I was thinking instead of sitting here all alone that you can come keep me company. Netflix and chilling alone is sad.”

  If that isn’t an invitation to hook up I don’t know what is.

  I twist around in time to see Ryan pull up in his beat-up Mustang. “Yeah. Sure. Give me twenty minutes?”

  “Can’t wait.”

  I end the call and jog across the street before Ryan gets to the porch. He nods in greeting and hikes his book bag over his shoulder.

  “Sup?”

  “Hey, man.” We stop short of the front steps and I kick a loose piece of dirt on the edge of the grass. “I was wondering if you could give this to Ry for me?” I hold out the pint of ice cream but he just stares, making no attempt to take it.

  “Why don’t you bring it in?”

  “Oh, I uh, don’t want to risk getting sick.”

  This makes his eyebrows jump because never in all the time we’ve been friends have I cared or avoided Rylee when she was sick. In fact, most of the time I would be right by her side watching terrible movies until she felt well enough to get out of bed.

  We even ended up at the hospital together when we were twelve and a mean case of strep throat sent our fevers sky-high.

  “Oh…kay.” Ryan takes the carton from me but doesn’t leave.

  “So. Thanks.” I turn, but his next words stop me.

  “She’s not really sick.”

  Without facing him I ask, “Oh, yeah?”

  “I’ve faked enough illnesses to spot one when I see it. Her cough was over the top.”

  “Well, I’m glad she’s doing good. Take the ice cream if you want it.” I take two steps toward the sidewalk before Ryan’s hand on my shoulder stops me.

  “Look, I’m not about the whole mushy moment thing, but I meant what I said the other night, tell her.”

  This time I spin to face him. An eerie calm has taken over my voice. If only it would spread to the rest of my body so I could slow the frantic beating of my heart. “Tell her what?”

  “I heard your mom talking to my mom. If she knew you were moving in a couple of weeks, I think she might feel differently about this whole Jax thing.”

  My laugh comes out a little manic. “Please. She’s finally got what she wanted. She’s not giving that up because I’m moving.”

  Ryan nods once and glances toward the house. “Maybe she doesn’t realize she has options.”

  My heart skips a beat knocking the wind out of me. There’s no way. No way Ryan knows for sure. I’ve been too careful when her brothers are around, too afraid they might kick the crap out of me for simply thinking of her like that. But the sympathetic expression on his face says otherwise.

  “Give her a chance. She might surprise you.” He punches me on the shoulder and turns for the house.

  Or crush me.

  “What’s the point?” I ask as he opens the front door. “Won’t change the fact that I’m moving.”

  Ryan grins and shuts the door before responding or giving me a chance to ask what the hell that look was for.

  My phone chimes in my pocket again, this time a text. A glance at my watch tells me I’m already late getting to Zoe’s.

  Not that I’m in the mood now. But since my best friend couldn’t even be bothered to tell me she was faking an illness, or come down to talk to me, I climb into my car and back out of the driveway. A bit too aggressively, but whatever.

  As I’m turning down the road, I glance at Rylee’s window right as the drapes fall.

  So she is avoiding me. Well, if that’s how she feels then I will make myself less available.

  The sound of Ryan’s and Spencer’s voices drag me out of bed and to my bedroom window. One that overlooks the driveway where both boys are standing. Spencer holds out a pint of ice cream and my heart flips up into my throat.

  Word of me being sick must have gotten to him. Well, pretending to be sick but he doesn’t know that part.

  And now I feel like a total jerk.

  Yesterday freaked me out so bad I couldn’t sleep. Not a single second. I laid awake running the moment in the pool through my head over and over on an infinite loop. Each time it got worse. The tension in my muscles grew. My heart wouldn’t stop skipping.

  The cr
appiest part is I couldn’t talk to the one person I would normally go to.

  So when morning came, and I looked like freaking death, it was easy to convince my mom I had come down with something.

  I should have told Spencer, but again, how could I without explaining my reasoning? He could see through my fake sickness in two seconds flat and I would be left waffling, trying to come up with an excuse he would believe.

  Which is why I stay hidden in my room and watch him talk with Ryan. What I really want to do is crack my window so I can hear what the hell they are talking about, but that might give me away.

  And lord knows how I will act because my feelings are still so twisted.

  Every single time I think about how right his hands felt on my back and how close our faces were, butterflies throw a party in my stomach. It leaves me more confused and spiraling into self-doubt.

  I can’t tell Spencer this. He will laugh. Call me crazy. Tell me it’s never going to happen.

  Then end our friendship.

  Not worth it. Whatever this is will pass. I just need to refocus on Jax. My hormones are a little confused is all.

  Spencer reverses out of his driveway, squealing to a stop before glancing my way. In a moment of panic, I let the drapes fall into place and step away praying he didn’t see me spying on him. Because, hello, that is out of character for me and screams, hi I’m hiding from you!

  I flop on my bed and ten seconds later Ryan bursts through the door and throws the container of ice cream at me. Thank goodness for my fast reflexes. I catch it before it can smack me in the face and sit up scowling.

  “What do you want?”

  “Your boyfriend left that for you.”

  I choke on air then scramble to cover up my reaction and stomp down the swell of fluttering in my stomach. “Spencer isn’t my boyfriend.”

  Ryan leans against the door smirking. “Right. And I’m Iron Man.”

  “What are you babbling about?” I prop the container on my knee.

  “Oh, I thought we were telling lies.”

  “Get out.”

  “Ha! I knew it!” He takes two steps into the room and shoves his pointer finger in my face.

  “Knew what?” I grab it and twist, causing him to hiss and jerk away. “I coulda told you Mom and Dad were planning on converting the basement into an apartment because they figure you’ll spend the next four years repeating the twelfth grade.”

  “You only deflect when I’m on to your feelings.” Ryan waves his fingers at me in a weird jazz hands move.

  “Or when you’re annoying me by simply breathing.” I grab the ice cream and shove past him. I don’t want it to melt all over my bed and the thought of eating it alone is so sad I want to cry.

  Ryan follows me down the stairs, his heavy footfalls making me wish I were an only child.

  “You should tell him how hard you’re crushing.”

  I whirl around on the bottom step. Ryan doesn’t have enough time to stop and slams into me, knocking me back and onto my butt. The ice cream goes flying and since it’s half-melted when the lid pops off, it splatters the floor and wall in mint green liquid.

  “Oh, look what you did, you idiot!” I jump up and race over to pick up the carton before more leaks out.

  “What I did?” Ryan’s hand smacks against his chest and I swear he almost looks sincerely shocked.

  “Can you go away?”

  “Hey, I’m trying to help my baby sister out.”

  “I’m younger by three minutes,” I mumble as I set the container down on the island and grab a wad of paper towels.

  Ryan stands in the doorway not making a move to help clean up the mess he caused.

  “Isn’t there some other girl you can annoy with your personality?” I ask.

  “Nah. I’m free tonight.”

  “Lucky me.” I shove his chest and slide through the tiny opening it created. The poor white runner is saturated. No way I’ll be able to clean this up and hide it from Mom.

  “Back to what I was saying,” Ryan grumbles from behind me.

  “That for once you would leave me alone?”

  “No.” He tosses a whole roll of paper towels at me when we both realize the small amount I grabbed won’t make a dent in the mess. “Tell Spencer how you feel.”

  “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Ice cream soaks through the paper towels, making my hands all sticky and adding to my annoyance. Ryan hit way too close to home. I hate that he can pick up on my feelings so easily.

  Stupid twin ESP or whatever.

  “Come on. I would rather Spencer be hanging around than Captain Butthole.”

  “Are you talking about Jax?” I stand up, taking all the used paper towels with me. There’s a noticeable stain on the rug but will do for now. I’ll blame it on Ryan later.

  “Of course I am.”

  “What is everyone’s issue with Jax?”

  Ryan follows me into the kitchen. “He’s an asshole.”

  “You don’t even know him.”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Are you that naive? Guys talk and let me tell you, Jax Lever talks.”

  This catches my attention and I spin around, glare armed and ready. “What are you implying?”

  His hands fly up in the air. “Hey, bro code and all that. I’m just saying you should dump the moron and be honest with Spencer.”

  This right here is why I avoid conversations with my brother. “Did you seriously say the words bro code to me? Because if you did, pretty much anything that follows is null and void.”

  Ryan blocks my way as I try to leave him and this ridiculous conversation behind. There’s nothing to tell Spencer because whatever I’m feeling is a fluke. A confused firing of my hormones.

  “Move.” My fist hits his stomach hard enough to make him grunt, but he remains planted in the doorway.

  “Listen, my nice brother routine has reached its end—”

  “Good.”

  “But, I’m just saying I would prefer to not beat Lever’s ass.”

  “That’s exactly what Will said.”

  “Because the dude sucks.”

  “Duly noted.” This time Ryan moves when I shove him and I race toward the stairs hoping if I put a door between us he will leave me the hell alone.

  “Just talk to Spencer,” Ryan calls after me. “He’ll be easier to beat up if he hurts you.”

  I slam the door hard enough to shake the pictures on the wall. What is up with my brothers being so anti-Jax. Will hangs out with the guy from time to time and until now, Ryan wouldn’t care if I dated a farm animal.

  Because I’m in a self-punishing mood, I find myself at the window staring down into Spencer’s driveway where his car is still missing. He’s probably over at Zoe’s. Hanging out. Making out.

  A sharp pain bounces through my stomach.

  Well, good for him.

  If he’s happy I’m happy.

  That’s what I tell myself as I climb into bed. A bonus of skipping school and not getting dressed is that I’m ready for bed at a moment’s notice. And that’s all I need. After a solid night’s sleep, I will wake up and realize that I had an off day.

  I don’t like Spencer. Not like that.

  I nod once to myself as I turn off the light. But even as I talk myself into a more rational thought process, I can’t get the fluttering in my stomach to stop.

  I’ll have to beat up Ryan tomorrow for putting thoughts into my head. Then I’ll ride to school with Spencer and everything will be how it was a couple of weeks ago.

  Spencer didn’t respond to my text this morning telling him I’m going to school but he is waiting in his driveway for me with a giant smile on his face.

  “It lives.”

  “Barely,” I lie as I slide into the passenger seat.

  “You didn’t miss much yesterday. A big test in history. Ryan got slapped by Vivian Greywood in the cafeteria. Oh, and worm aliens took over the entire student body, but I single-handedly saved e
veryone.”

  “Funny.” I flip down the visor mirror and make sure the eyeliner I put on is still in place.

  “Okay, you caught me. But Vivian did slap Ryan. Apparently, she was under the impression that they were exclusive.”

  “She’s dumber than she looks.”

  I smile and flip up the visor. See. Completely normal. Spencer hasn’t mentioned Sunday because there is nothing to talk about. I should never be alone with my thoughts. It’s dangerous.

  Spencer flicks his blinker on but turns left when he should turn right for the school.

  “Mind if we make a pit stop?” he asks when he catches my questioning glance.

  He’s the driver, so not as if I have much say in the matter, but I wave him on. Three minutes later I wish I had put up a fight.

  Zoe bounds down the brick steps to her house, and waves at Spencer who couldn’t look happier if he tried.

  As if he won the freaking lottery or something.

  Zoe stops by his window and leans in to give Spencer a wet kiss on the mouth. In response, my stomach almost loses its hold on breakfast.

  “Oh, hey, Rylee. Didn’t know you would be joining us.”

  Us?

  Us?

  It takes everything in me not to scream. Has this girl lost her mind? She’s been in his life all of five seconds and she thinks there is an “us”?

  “Um, babe, I hate to ask but I kinda get car sick. Is there any way I can ride with you up front?”

  My mouth drops open. Seriously, I think I feel my chin brush against the lace lining the lower half of my camisole.

  Spencer turns to me, a grimace distorting his face. “Do you mind?”

  Do I mind? Of course I mind. “No problem.” I crawl through the space between seats instead of getting out because I’m not so sure what I’ll do if I come face-to-face with Zoe.

  She slides into my spot and plants another kiss on Spencer’s mouth.

  Oh, yup, Peanut Butter O’s don’t taste as good on the way back up.

  “I had so much fun last night,” Zoe coos and tugs his hand over to her lap.

  I knew he was with her.

  The scenery flies by as Spencer drives us to school. I’ve never looked forward to arriving but that circle of hell certainly beats the one I’m in.