Stars Over Texas (Dreamcatcher Series Book 2)

by Tessa Gray

  “So we are.”

  “Are you seeing anyone, Adam?”

  “No. I was. But I’m not now.” Not that it’s any of your concern.

  “I have so many regrets, Adam.” Her eyes welled up as she waited for him to reply.

  Struggling to think of something to say, he could only stare across the table at her, thinking about their five-year marriage and the regrets he had as well. Unable to find the right words, anything that might provide some level of comfort to his ex-wife, he fingered the rim of his whiskey glass, before picking it up and taking another swig.

  Had Fiona come six or seven months ago, things might have been different. But as he thought about Meredith and her children, he realized that he had moved on. And while things hadn’t worked out between him and Meredith, he’d at least discovered that after eight years, he could finally rebuild his life.

  “Fiona, even though I’m not seeing anyone right now, I’d be lying to you if I said that the two of us might get back together. What we had was very special, but when all was said and done, our marriage wasn’t strong enough to survive losing Grace.”

  She stared at him from across the table, a somber expression on her face. “I regret blaming you, Adam. That was wrong. I know that now. I’m sorry.”

  “That’s all in the past.”

  “Still,” she said, her dark eyes growing even darker, "I forced you to carry a huge burden all this time, blaming you for Grace’s death. Can you ever forgive me for that?”

  “Of course.”

  When she smiled weakly, he reached across the table and patted her hand.

  As the two of them sat at the table-the very same table he and Meredith had shared, Adam felt his spirits lift. He realized at this moment in that he’d finally given up the fight, finally put the past exactly where it belonged, in the past.

  But his mood soured quickly when he realized that even though Fiona had forgiven him-had stopped blaming him for Grace’s death-the fact was, he hadn’t forgiven himself. And he doubted that would ever change.

  “Was Meredith the woman you were seeing?” Fiona looked over at him, her eyes widening. “When I watched the two of you, I felt as though there was something there. Was she the woman that things didn’t work out with?”

  He considered denying it, pretending she was just some lady he knew, but he decided to come clean. “Yes. We . . . well . . . we were involved, but she’s got a lot going on. She has two kids, for starters.”

  “Maybe your timing’s off.” Fiona stared at him intently, and he couldn’t help but wonder why she’d suddenly begun talking about Meredith. “I’ll be leaving in the morning, Adam. I just wanted to see if there was a chance. . .but, it’s clear there isn’t.”

  A rush of regret surged through him as he considered how close the two of them had been. But that was all in the past.

  Too exhausted to try and sort it all out, he decided just to order dinner and get this over with. As he stared outside, he wondered what Meredith and the kids were doing.

  Chapter 20

  On Sunday afternoon Meredith headed over to Kelsey’s place, grateful Nathan Wainwright had agreed to take his kids up to Big Bend to give Kelsey some time alone with her best friends. Kelsey, of course, had been reluctant, claiming the twins were less than a year old and Nathan wouldn’t be able to manage them. It wasn’t until Jake stepped in and volunteered to pitch in that she finally relented.

  Meredith glanced at her reflection in the dashboard mirror, thinking that she looked more tired than usual. As she began twisting her hair with a free hand, she realized she liked the feel of her soft, wavy hair now that it was free from all the chemical products. Adam was the one who’d talked her into getting rid of that perfectly, coiffed hairdo, loaded with hairspray. He’d never said he disliked her hair, of course, but when she’d let it go more naturally, softening up her look, he complimented her every single time she wore it that way.

  When she thought of the unexpected encounter she had at the college when Fiona Lightfoot had shown up, she frowned. She’d initially assumed Adam’s former wife would be a very plain looking woman. Why she’d thought that was anyone’s guess, but she had. As awkward as that chance encounter had been, she was grateful she hadn’t said something stupid, said what was in her heart, confessed that she’d screwed up and wanted another chance to make things right between her and Adam.

  Had Adam given her one ounce of encouragement, one piece of hope to cling to, she would have clung to it like a life preserver. Even as she’d left the college cafeteria, she’d prayed Adam would race out to the car to stop her, reassuring her that he and Fiona had no future together. But he hadn’t. And that was a defining moment. Clearly, he was over her.

  By the time she arrived at Kelsey’s, she was in a total funk. But her mood lightened when she saw Rachel emerge from the farmhouse, an enormous pitcher of what she suspected was margaritas in her hand.

  Kelsey threw open the screen door and skipped down the steps. “Let’s take advantage of the fact I’m not nursing babies anymore. I say we go celebrate at Nathan’s barbeque pit.”

  “His man cave? Really?” Rachel began making her way to the pit. “You got the glasses, Kels?”

  “I do, indeed!” Kelsey followed Rachel to the picnic table near the barbeque pit and Meredith joined them.

  As the three women plopped down, Kelsey looked over at her. “Rachel tells me you and Adam have stopped seeing each other.”

  “News travels. I guess Rachel didn’t waste any time.” Meredith glared at Rachel as she spoke.

  “To be fair, I asked her about it, Meredith. I was the one who initiated the conversation about Adam,” Kelsey said quickly, trying to smooth things over. “What happened, honey?”

  “Maybe you should ask Rachel. I’m sure Jake’s filled her in since he and Adam are such good pals. I’m sure y’all have your own spin on this. Why bother asking me?” Meredith’s snarky comment made Kelsey’s jaw drop.

  Reaching across the picnic table, Meredith placed her hand on Kelsey’s forearm. “I’m sorry, Kelsey. Really, I am. I’m just frustrated about the way things have turned out, that’s all.”

  “From what Jake’s told me, Adam’s pretty miserable.” Rachel chimed in, and her words provided some level of comfort to Meredith.

  “I doubt he’s all that miserable. His ex-wife is in town. Fiona Lightfoot. The woman is drop dead gorgeous.”

  A long pause followed Meredith’s pronouncement, with both Kelsey and Rachel surprised by the news.

  Rachel quickly picked up the margarita pitcher and began filling their glasses.

  Mere took a huge swig, determined to use this opportunity to bare her soul to the girls. If she didn’t talk to someone, she’d burst.

  “You’ve met her?” Kelsey scrunched up her face, scooted closer and began probing. “In addition to being gorgeous, what’s she like? I guess I assumed she remarried, but you say her last name is still Lightfoot?”

  “I ran into her at the college cafeteria. I’d come to see if Adam was there, to see if there was a chance the two of us could get back together.” She folded her arms and looked away, the humiliation still fresh.

  Between sips of her margarita, Meredith told the entire story to both girls, beginning with the argument she and Adam had when Carly ran away, to how frustrated he’d grown that their entire relationship seemed to center around Meredith and her problems.

  She thought of how Adam’s dark eyes had clouded when she’d told him they couldn’t continue seeing each other. The two had been through so much together in such a short while. As she looked back on their relationship, she realized that Adam had indeed been the one to make concessions. She chalked it up to selfishness-selfishness and immaturity. And, of course, the fact her mother treated him like a second-class citizen hadn’t helped matte
rs.

  For the first time since she and Adam had become involved, Meredith finally began to see things from his point of view.

  “I took Adam for granted, thinking he’d always be there for me. I always assumed he’d wait until my situation changed and then we would pick up where we left off. Looking back, that was wrong.”

  Frustrated from all this talk about Adam, she decided to pick Kelsey’s brain. By all accounts, Kelsey was sinfully happy being married to Nathan. “Do you or Nathan ever take each other for granted?”

  Rachel took a swig of her margarita, and judging by how hard she slammed the glass down, she was probably reaching her limit. Raking a finger through her ebony colored hair, she squinted, her green eyes sparkling, and echoed her friend’s question. “Yeah, Kelsey. Do you? Do you and Nathan ever take each other for granted? Cause I’m here to tell you, Jake sure as hell takes me for granted!”

  Always the logical one of the threesome, Kelsey got right to the point. And when she did, she didn’t mince words.

  ~ ~ ~

  Kelsey made the decision to be brutally honest with Meredith because that’s what friends did.

  “Meredith, I’m here to tell you that marriage isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a hell of a lot of work.” Kelsey softened her approach when Meredith bit her lower lip nervously. “I’m just saying that both of us have made a lot of concessions.”

  “Such as?” Rachel picked up her glass and took another drink.

  “If you’ll recall, when I met Nathan I’d already made the decision to never remarry and to be artificially inseminated. My plan was to raise the child by myself. Even when the two of us fell in love, I still wanted to be a single parent. He, by contrast, was a pretty conservative, old-fashioned cowboy who was horrified at my decision.”

  “You two nearly ended the relationship when Nathan expressed his disapproval. Remember how upset you were with him?” Meredith smiled after she said it.

  Kelsey prayed above all else that she’d get through to her friend. There was so much at stake here, she wanted to say exactly what Mere needed to hear. “In the end, though, Nathan came around. He not only supported my decision to undergo in vitro but said if our relationship flourished, he wanted to be a part of that child’s life. He respected me enough to allow me to do things my way but promised to be there for me no matter what my decision was.”

  Rachel glanced over at both of them, her deep green eyes sparkling. “And we all know the end of the story.”

  “And the rest is history. I never went through with the in vitro because we ended up getting pregnant on our own.” Kelsey tried to get a read on Meredith as she spoke, but couldn’t. “The point is that both of us gave up something. It hasn’t been easy for me living clear out in West Texas, but Nathan’s practice is here, and this is where I belong now.”

  “I love that the two of you are so happy, Kels. In some ways, your love story is nothing short of a miracle.” Meredith smiled faintly as she spoke, and Kelsey realized that of the three, Meredith was probably the most fixated on a happily ever after ending. But wanting it wasn’t the same as working for it.

  “I’m not saying it’s easy,” Kelsey said. “Nothing worthwhile is. There are times I’m so exhausted from chasing the kids around I can barely function. Nathan often comes home late and is so tired he can hardly walk through the door. But he always heads upstairs to clean up. He spends thirty minutes cleaning up, dousing himself with my favorite aftershave and then he comes down to kiss me and help me with the kids.”

  “Sounds like Nathan’s an ideal husband.” Meredith’s eyes glistened, a pensive expression on her face.

  “He insists he doesn’t want to be a stinky cowboy that takes his woman for granted. And as pooped as I am, I still make sure he has a delicious dinner waiting for him. Tonight I’m making his favorite: chicken and dumplings. It’s a lot of work, and I know after swilling down this pitcher of margaritas, I’ll wish I was making something simpler. But I’m not. I love him, and I know that his favorite meal will put a smile on his face.”

  “Well-now that you’ve depressed the hell out of both of us . . .” Rachel pushed her glass away and shrugged. “That’s nice for you, Kels, but it doesn’t always work out that way for everyone.”

  “I know. I’m not trying to oversimplify things,” Kelsey began, then turned to Meredith. “I can’t help but wonder, Mere, that if you and Adam gave each other another chance, if things couldn’t work themselves out.” Kelsey waited for Meredith to reply, and to her relief, she did.

  Meredith stared up into the hillside, a faraway look on her face. “I doubt I’d even still be here if it weren’t for Adam. We got off to a rocky start. I’ll be the first to admit that. But I count him as a friend. If I had to do it all over again, I’d try harder, try to see his perspective on things. But I suspect it’s too late. He’s moved on, I can tell. When you love someone, you want the best for him. And that’s what I want for Adam, the best.”

  “You weren’t ready for a relationship before, but you are now. You should go to him. Tell him how you feel, Mere. Just speak from the heart. Stop being so proud, make the first move. If you do, you’ll know that you’ve done your best. That’s all any of us can do, Mere, to do our best,” Kelsey grabbed her friend’s hand and squeezed it hard.

  “I already tried that, Kelsey.”

  “You mentioned that you went to see him and that Fiona was there. But did you tell the guy you loved him, Mere?” Kelsey thought she saw a slight glint in Meredith’s eye.

  To Kelsey’s dismay, Meredith ignored her advice. “I need to focus on my studies for now, Kelsey. Maybe before summer classes start up, I’ll have time to sort this all out. I know that’s not the answer you want, but it’s the only one I have.”

  Chapter 21

  Meredith twisted the rubber band around her ponytail, stepped back to get a better look at herself and began reapplying her makeup. She’d barely seen Adam for the past two months, and whether or not she cared to admit it, she genuinely missed him.

  She had thought long and hard about Kelsey’s advice. While she wasn’t normally one to put herself out there, she made the decision that today was the day. Adam always worked Tuesdays at the bar. She’d pay him a visit.

  There normally were few patrons at the tavern, particularly at three in the afternoon. The cliché’ ‘nothing to lose, everything to gain’ popped into her head and she decided to continue embedding that quote into her brain so that she’d have the courage to go see him.

  Afraid she’d talk herself out of it, she grabbed her car keys, locked the apartment door behind her, and raced down the steps.

  She nearly turned the car around twice while making the drive to Jake’s bar. The drive took less than five minutes, and the second she arrived, she bolted from her Lexus, before changing her mind.

  When she entered the narrow, oak door leading into the bar, a silver-colored bell hanging from the rafter jingled, announcing her arrival.

  “Hey, Meredith.” Jake Crenshaw grinned at her, picked up a menu and walked over to greet her. “Good to see you.” The two of them hadn’t been particularly close, so it surprised her when he greeted her with a hug.

  “Good to see you too, Jake.”

  When he motioned her to sit at the bar, she obliged. As she scanned the menu, pretending to be interested in ordering something, she quickly pointed to the beverages. “Whatever you have on tap is fine.”

  “No margaritas?” Jake winked at her, sauntered over to the tap and got the beer. When he slid her beer in front of her, she looked away, studying the terra cotta walls in the dining area.

  “Thanks.” She took a sip and hoped Jake might stick around to talk.

  “Rumor has it you girls got pretty sloshed over at Kelsey’s a few weeks ago.” Jake laughed after he said it and Meredith rolled her eye
s.

  “Word travels,” she replied with a shrug.

  “To be fair, Rachel said you only had one drink since you were the designated driver. Rachel-on the other hand! Geez!”

  Bet you took advantage of the fact she was shit-faced.

  “Rachel wasn’t the only one who drank too much. Kelsey said she had one heck of a hangover the next day.” She glanced over to see Jake’s reaction.

  He laughed at her comment, but then grew serious. “I suppose you’re here to see Adam. I gather the two of you aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

  “Well, it’s actually been quite a while since we’ve been together. Surely he told you?” she asked, surprised.

  “He hasn’t told me a thing, Meredith. He’s pretty tightlipped when it comes to his personal life. The only way I know stuff is because Rachel tells me. I’m only asking because I haven’t seen the two of you together lately. If you don’t want to talk about it, fine.”

  “I’m sorry, Jake. I just assumed-”

  Their conversation was cut short when the door flew open, and Adam strode in.

  “Sorry I’m late.” He stared over at Jake as he spoke, his voice low. His dark eyes clouded when he saw her, and for a split second, she thought he was going to turn right back around and leave. When he spoke again, his tone was crisp. “Looks like you’ve got it covered, Jake. I’ll be in the back going over the inventory.”

  As he walked away, Meredith watched him, struggling to find the right words. She’d assumed he’d be glad to see her, maybe even pull up a chair to join her. But he didn’t. Kelsey’s words echoed in her ear. “Stop being so proud. Make the first move. If you do, you’ll know that you’ve at least made the effort.”