Breaking Hearts (Full Hearts #4)

by MJ Summers

  Alessandra was engulfed by her sorrow, by the deep sense of profound loss from which she couldn’t see her way out. She’d lost her little boy, her husband, her grandfather and now her home. If only Betina were here to cry with her, they could hold each other and hold hands as they climbed out of the chasm together. She cried until there was nothing left in her but a numb, hollow ghost of who she’d been on her wedding day. If only she could have frozen time on that perfect day and lived there forever, even if it meant the rain would never stop. If only.

  The sun disappeared and the moon took its place without her noticing. She finally rose to her feet, realizing she would have to make her way back to the house in the pitch dark. The air had grown cool and she shivered in her T-shirt and jeans, which clung to her from the dampness of the day’s sweat. As she fumbled through the trees, the world seemed scary now in a way it never had before. Faint beams of moonlight cast sinister shadows through the treetops, as though the trees wanted to chase her away. She quickened her pace with her hands outstretched in front of her. She could barely make out her fingertips as she moved toward home. The home she was about to lose, the place that had grounded her, the place her family had gathered to celebrate and grieve. They had come here, to this home, to share meals and drinks and laughter and life itself. It had been a beacon for her entire life, to return to where love resided. But it would be taken from her, just as love had been, leaving her empty.

  * * *

  “There you are. I was about to go looking for you.” Lorena sat at the kitchen table, her plate empty except for the remnants of her dinner. “I put your supper in the fridge. Sit and I’ll heat it for you.”

  Alessandra shook her head, grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with ice and too much rum and then, instead of sitting at the table to eat, she went to the bathroom, quietly closing the door. Stripping off her clothes, she turned on the hot water and stood shivering beside the tub as she choked back the liquor, ignoring the burning in her throat. It would warm her and distance her from her sorrow nicely. Sinking into the heat of the tub a few minutes later, she stared at the faucet, watching as it let go of one drop at a time, each landing with a comforting rhythm into the water. She started to succumb to the pleasantly numb feeling spreading through her body. She lay there until the water was no longer warm, then wrapped her hair in a towel and managed to pull on her bathrobe before making her way to bed. Tugging the covers over her head, she closed her eyes and gave in to her exhaustion.

  Tomorrow she would start again.

  Forty-Four

  Christchurch, New Zealand

  “Olá?”

  “I am looking for Alessandra.” Sandra, the nurse, spoke into the phone. She paused for a second. “Alessandra, por favor. It’s about her husband, Trey.” Sandra looked confused as she listened to whatever was happening on the other end of the phone. She covered the receiver. “I don’t understand her but she sounds angry.”

  When the sound of the woman’s voice stopped, she tried again. “Alessandra, por favor. Trey’s been in an accident.” Putting the phone down, she gave him an apologetic look. “She hung up.”

  Another nurse hurried up to the counter where they stood and told Sandra she was needed elsewhere.

  “Try to rest. We’ll call again later.”

  Damn it. This was going to be much harder than he had thought. He wondered if it was Lorena who’d answered. If it was, he was surprised she was home. Whoever it was knew enough about their situation to be angry with him. That must mean Alessandra had started telling people they were through.

  Trey watched as Sandra rushed down the hall, then he made his way slowly back to his room, careful not to look in any mirrors. The sight of his bruised and swollen face was not one he welcomed. He had incisions on either side of his face where the wires were attached to his jaw. His mind quickly shifted back to Alessandra. He needed to get to her as soon as he could, to see if she would be willing to give him another chance. But it was a long road before he could do that. It would still be several weeks until his body healed. He couldn’t very well show up at her door with his jaw wired shut. In his estimation, he’d be much easier to turn away in his current state. She might think he was only there for her to make him soup and nurse him back to health. He needed to go back to her strong and whole.

  Bebedouro, Brazil

  “So, are you going to get your thirty silver pieces?” Alessandra asked her mother, her eyes dead.

  “Don’t be so dramatic,” Lorena snapped.

  The realtor had just spent a few hours on the property, walking to each end with Lorena and carefully making notes as he measured and examined each room in the house.

  “Avô meant for this farm to stay in our family, but you don’t care. You’re ripping our home out from under us! Betina won’t even have a chance to say goodbye!” Alessandra’s voice was pure anguish.

  Lorena shook her head. “You are so young and foolish. You have no idea how quickly life passes or what I gave up for my family. I wish this wasn’t the only way, but it is. I’ll give you each some of the money so you can get your own places. Believe me, it will be better in the end than trying to pour money into this old house. Someday you’ll thank me.”

  “I will never thank you for this. And I will never take the money.”

  “Enough!” Lorena barked. “I don’t expect you to understand but I do expect you to respect my decision. When you are older, you’ll understand. Until then, keep your mouth shut.” She turned on her heel and stalked away from her daughter, her gait stiff.

  Colorado Springs, Colorado

  Three Weeks Later

  Trey sat in the examining room at the doctor’s office, struggling to get his shirt back on. His arm was still in a sling, but he had finally had the braces and wire removed from his jaw. His ribs hurt, but not as much as what was inside them. He was relieved to be home with Tomas and grateful to have the care of his parents as he made his painful recovery, but neither stopped him from aching to be with Alessandra every minute of every day.

  * * *

  Trey found Dustin waiting in the driver’s seat of his truck. Trey spoke a few words when he got in. Moving his mouth again felt strange. Freeing but tender.

  “You okay, ugly?” Dustin asked.

  “Yup. Much better.” His words were clear for the first time in weeks.

  “You look a little less like RoboCop without that contraption on your face.”

  “Thanks.”

  “That wasn’t a compliment. You think they’d put it back on?”

  * * *

  That night, Trey stared at the phone for a long time before trying her number. He waited as the phone rang, then he heard Lorena’s voice.

  “Olá?”

  “Lorena, it’s Trey. I need to speak with Alessandra.”

  “No.”

  “Lorena, please. I lost my cellphone and I can’t find her work number on the Internet. This is the only number I have.”

  “No.”

  “Please, Lorena. I need to speak with her.”

  “No. You moved on without her and now she is doing the same.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” His nostrils flared and he tightened his jaw, only to have pain pierce the entire bottom half of his face.

  “It means she is out on a date with a real man and it’s none of your business.”

  “I don’t believe you. She wouldn’t do that.”

  “Why shouldn’t she? You should have rushed back here as soon as my father died! But you didn’t. You don’t want to be married to Alessandra and you’re proving that every day.”

  “What? Carlos . . .” Trey felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

  “Are you going to pretend you didn’t know?”

  “I didn’t. I swear. Why didn’t she call me?”

  “She did. She left messages and texted you but you ignored her. How could you do that? I was right about you all along! You just used my daughter to help you get your son out of B
razil! I told her you would leave her and that’s exactly what you did!”

  “Lorena, please listen to me. I’ve been in a hospital in New Zealand. I got hurt at an event and when they put me in the ambulance, my cellphone got lost somehow. I tried to get a nurse to call the house for me because I had my jaw wired shut. Don’t you remember that? You hung up on her. I’m sure it was you. I know you hate me, Lorena, but I love your daughter. I need to talk to her.”

  “Don’t bother. She has sent you the divorce papers. It’s over.”

  His protest died in his mouth as the phone was slammed down in his ear. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and let his head flop into his hand. Carlos was dead. And Alessandra had been grieving alone, believing he didn’t care about her. Tears escaped his eyes at the thought of the pain she was going through and the pain he’d caused. If only he hadn’t been so stubborn, hadn’t believed that bull riding was the only way to get ahead. He should have been there. He should have held her in his arms while she cried and held her up at the funeral and paid his respects to the sweet old man who had become family to both him and Tomas. Carlos had opened his life to them, shared his home and his patience and his kindness. He’d smoothed the waters for Trey and given him work. And Trey had abandoned them to go pursue his risky, lofty dream.

  Lorena’s words tore through his heart. Alessandra had already sent the divorce papers. It was over. Could she really be on a date so soon? It somehow didn’t seem possible, but maybe she had been hurt enough by him to decide to move on as quickly as possible. A sob escaped his throat as he sat alone at the kitchen table. He let the tears flow down his cheeks, not caring if he was discovered by his parents. Tears for Carlos, for Alessandra and for his son, whom he’d taken from the one person who’d ever given him a stable life. Tears for himself at the thought of losing Alessandra. He couldn’t do this without her. He didn’t want to.

  Straightening up, he dialed the number to the farmhouse again. He would make Lorena hear him and make her understand. Then he would find the next flight to Brazil and get his wife back.

  No answer. He tried again and again but Lorena was refusing to pick up. She wouldn’t be giving him his second chance. He would have to make it himself.

  Forty-Five

  “Just how the hell are you going to travel all the way to Brazil with a three-year-old and a broken arm?” Dustin asked, sitting in front of his laptop.

  “Don’t worry about that. I’ll manage just fine.” Trey pointed with his good hand. “Please just find me a flight. It’ll take me all night to type with one hand.”

  “You’ll manage? You can’t even use a computer to book the flight.”

  “Aw, forget it. Get out of the chair. I’ll just do it myself.”

  “You’re nuts. You’re going to miss your follow-up appointments with the doctor.”

  “I’m about to lose my wife, Dustin. Do you think I give a shit about my arm?” Trey spat out. “I’ll cut the cast off myself in a couple of weeks.”

  Dustin lifted his palms toward Trey in defeat. “Fine, man. I’m just trying to look out for you.”

  Trey stared down at the computer and began searching for flights, with his brother looking over his shoulder as he worked.

  * * *

  “Hank, I need you to help me find a phone number for Miguel and Bruno Santos. There must be a contact list at the International Bull Riders Association office in Brazil, right? I need to get a hold of them right away.”

  “I’ll see what I can do. Everything okay, Trey?” Hank asked.

  “Not even close. I need to get a message to my wife immediately. I’m pretty sure she’s ready to divorce me.” Trey’s voice cracked.

  “Oh man, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll get the numbers and anything else you need. Don’t worry.”

  Trey stood at the kitchen counter, watching out the window as Tomas played in the yard with his mom while he waited for Hank to call back. Fern was sitting on the bottom step of the back deck, blowing bubbles while Tomas ran and chased them. Trey’s heart ached at the thought of how Tomas had clung to him when he returned, not letting Trey out of his sight for the first three days he was back. Losing Gabriela and being taken from Alessandra had taken its toll on the little boy, and he hated himself for adding to his scars. Tomas had started throwing tantrums, screaming when Trey left, even for a doctor’s appointment. He couldn’t fall asleep unless his dad was sitting with him, holding his hand. He didn’t want to go to the ranch with his grandparents unless Trey came too. Although Tomas had no way of articulating it, his wounds were fresh, his pain was real and his need for constancy was more important than anything. Trey sighed, knowing that his bull-riding career was done. He had to quit for his son’s sake as much as for the sake of his marriage.

  The phone rang, interrupting his thoughts. It was Hank. If he had the number, Trey could make this work.

  * * *

  “Miguel? It’s Trey.”

  “Oh, hello, asshole. What do you want?”

  “I’m sure you hate me but I need you to listen for a minute so I can explain what happened. And I need your help.”

  Forty-Six

  Bebedouro, Brazil

  Alessandra stood in her childhood bedroom, now emptied of everything that had made it hers. Sunlight, filtered by filmy curtains, danced on the wood floor. She stared at the pattern as it moved. The room was as hollow as she was. Leaning against the door frame, she let the tears flow. She’d spent the past week packing away her life and that of her grandfather. Now her body ached, a physical manifestation of her heart and soul. Her mother had to go back to work three days earlier, forcing Alessandra to finish the heartbreaking work alone. Everything was gone, and she would have to find a way to pick herself up and move on.

  Her cellphone rang. “Hi, Cyssah.”

  “Hi, roommate. How are you?”

  “Sad,” she whispered.

  “I know. I bought two bottles of wine. When you get here later, we can get very tipsy while we unpack your things. I thought tomorrow we could hit a nightclub, see if we can find a couple of hotties.”

  “I’ll say yes to the wine, but I don’t know if I’ll be up to going out tomorrow.”

  “The best way to get over him is to sample what else is out there.”

  “I thought time was the best way to heal a wounded heart.”

  “No, you heard that wrong. It’s sexy guys.”

  Alessandra managed a noise that she hoped sounded like laughter. “I’ll be by in a couple of hours. The new owner should be here any minute.”

  “Okay. You sure someone else couldn’t go through the house with them?”

  “It has to be me. They are buying the animals too, so I want to make sure they know how to take care of them properly.”

  “But how are you going to get through all of that without crying?”

  “The job has to get done, even if I cry while doing it. If they’re uncomfortable, I can’t help it. I should go. I hear a car.” She looked out the window and saw a cab coming down the driveway. “You won’t believe this. They’ve taken a cab. I wonder if they’re going to expect me to drive them back into town after.”

  “That’s weird.”

  “Yeah. I’ll call you when I can.”

  “Good luck.”

  Alessandra hung up, then smoothed down her hair, curiosity temporarily edging out sorrow. It was a welcome feeling, something other than sadness. It gave her hope that there would be many other feelings again in her life soon. She knew they would come in bits and pieces for a while: random moments of calm or even happiness surrounded by pain. For now she had to trust that, little by little, the good moments would last longer and come more often, until she was alright again.

  A knock at the door had her wiping her damp cheeks, setting her shoulders back and striding across the living room. She would be businesslike and matter-of-fact and just get this over with. I’ll pretend I’m acting as a representative of the property owner, an advocate for the animals. That s
hould work.

  Drawing a deep breath, she fixed a smile onto her face and opened the door.

  And there he stood. With a tentative look on his face, his eyes shining with emotion. Alessandra stared at him, her brain firing rapidly as she took in the fact that he was really there. His arm was in a sling and his face looked different. It wasn’t just the yellow bruises along his jaw or the little scars on his cheeks—his cheekbones were more pronounced and he looked too thin. Something about seeing him like this melted her heart. Trey was here, and as she looked into his eyes, she felt it. Those were the eyes she had fallen in love with. And the look they were giving her right now said everything. Alessandra’s mouth dropped open, her heart racing with possibility. He had come back to her.

  Instantly, her legs were bombarded by an enthusiastic hug from Tomas. “Lessa! We camed back!” Tomas shouted to her.

  Shock, along with the impact from his little body, almost knocked her over, but Trey caught her arm with one hand and steadied her. She reached down to Tomas, running her fingers through his hair. “Is this real? Are you really here?” she whispered.

  Trey nodded. “We’re here and I’m hoping you’ll let us stay.”

  Tears streamed down her face. Love, relief, hope, regret and fear all hit her at once. She picked up Tomas and held him close, feeling his little head burrow into her neck. She kissed his head over and over until he pulled back and smiled at her.