A Bayou Wedding

by Caroline Mickelson

  To my surprise, not to mention my immense relief, he didn’t use my confession against me. Instead, he nodded. “I wouldn’t exactly use the term grandstanded. You are the expert when it comes to etiquette, you weren’t having one over on them there. Besides, even if you had a plan and laid it out for them, they’d still end up doing whatever they wanted.”

  “True.” I blew out a long breath. “You have their number.”

  “Numbers that don’t add up.” His gaze was piercing, as if he expected me to understand what he wasn’t saying as much as what he was. “I get the feeling that the unholy trinity aren’t quite what they appear on the surface.”

  “Really? What makes you say that?”

  “You haven’t noticed anything different about them?” He leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. “Think, Stephanie.”

  I thought. And then it dawned on me what he meant. “Are you talking about Gertie’s claims that Fortune was in the CIA?” I waved my hand. “I assure you that is simply the byproduct of Gertie’s wild imagination. Fortune in the CIA? Please, nothing about that woman says ‘federal agent’.”

  “You’re sure?”

  I nodded emphatically. “Look, Kase, my great-aunt and Gertie are elderly ladies who have led very sheltered lives. Considering that they’ve always lived in Sinful, it’s amazing that they’ve stayed as sane as they have. I think it’s only natural that Gertie may sometimes exaggerate or that Aunt Ida Belle likes to act tough. But I assure you, they are what they seem.”

  “And Fortune?” he asked. “What’s your take on her?”

  I paused, not because I didn’t have an opinion of her, but because I knew to tread carefully. It would be too easy to share that I thought she was a show-off who longed for attention. But there was nothing ladylike about discrediting someone behind her back. “I think that Fortune misses the beauty pageant circuit. Perhaps life as a librarian is a tad more boring than she expected it to be. To go from having so many people’s eyes on you to being stuck in the book stacks can’t be an easy transition.”

  He didn’t respond but the way he watched me was unnerving.

  “So you can see my dilemma about what to do with the three of them while we investigate. I mean, while you investigate and I assist.”

  He drummed his fingers on the table while he considered my words. “We need to throw them off track somehow. The spotlight should be on your Miss Prim and Proper persona—”

  “It’s not a persona,” I cut him off. “It’s who I am.”

  “All the time?”

  I nodded.

  “No periods of wild abandonment in your life?”

  I sat up straight and squared my shoulders. “Most certainly not.”

  “You’re not ever driven by passion? Don’t you ever want to let your hair down and do something just because it feels good?”

  I swallowed. His words, perhaps innocent enough on the surface, still managed to fuel a surge of warmth that shot through me. “No,” I finally managed to say.

  “If you say so, darlin’.”

  “What were you saying about the spotlight?” I attempted to nudge him back toward the safer subject of drug dealers.

  “Making sure the focus is on Miss Prim and Proper is the best way to distract the Masters family. All I want to do is lurk around and see what I can pick up on, that’s it. But to do that, we need to get you in over there and keep your friends out.”

  “But keeping them out, as you say, is going to be virtually impossible now that they know what we’re up to.” I experienced a stab of contriteness. “Which is all my fault for blurting out your plans.”

  “Don’t blame yourself,” he said. “They’d have hounded us until they pieced it together anyway, so maybe it’s for the best they know.”

  “Are they going to ruin your chances of finding something out?”

  “Not if we keep them on a short leash.”

  “Oh, well, if that’s all.” I couldn’t help but smile at the very tall order. “We’re going to have to keep our wits about us.”

  Agent Mayeux nodded. “You’re not kidding.” He gestured to the empty dessert plate. “How about another slice of that pie?”

  “Certainly.” I stood and picked up the plate. “Ice cream this time?”

  “A glass of milk, I think.” He waited until I had taken a glass from the cupboard before he spoke again. “Stephanie, darlin?”

  I glanced over my shoulder. “Yes?”

  “I take my coffee black and my milk without sedatives.”

  “NO FISHNET STOCKINGS. I mean it Gertie.” I settled my hands on my hips, ready to do battle over this edict if it came to that. I wasn’t going to budge. “I’ll wrestle them off of you myself if I have to.”

  Gertie’s expression was petulant. “Why does Fortune get to wear black leather?”

  Because she’s thirty plus years younger than you and can pull it off was my first thought. I left this unsaid. Instead, I voiced my second thought, “Because it supports her mission.”

  Aunt Ida Belle rolled her eyes. “Since when is getting hit on by a twenty-something-year old punk with a drug habit considered a mission?”

  I drew myself up to my full height. Kase had advised me to appear unwavering in my command of the situation, and I was doing my best to follow his instructions. But these ladies weren’t making it easy. I tapped my watch. “We need to leave for the bridal shower in less than ten minutes. Agent Mayeux should be here with the car soon, so let’s finish getting ready. Gertie, strip those stockings off. Now.”

  While she clearly wasn’t happy about following my directions, she did as I bid. To show my appreciation, I ignored her mumbled comment about uppity Yankee whippersnappers. I gave my great-aunt a cursory going over. She passed muster. She’d refused to wear a skirt but had at least ditched her blue jeans for a pair of dark slacks. A white blouse completed her look. Simple but acceptable. Fortune, who’d been assigned to cozy up to Shawn, ­­­­­wore a short black leather skirt paired with a simple scoop-necked black t-shirt. It wasn’t a look that screamed ‘bridal shower’, but hopefully it would be enough to loosen Shawn’s tongue.

  “Well, ladies,” I said, stretching that last word to within the very limits of its definition, “it’s show time. You have your instructions. Please stick to my plan. This is a reconnaissance mission only.” I held up three fingers and ticked them off as I spoke. “Therefore, no one should put anyone in a headlock, no one should brandish a weapon, and, above all else, no one should do anything that might get them disinvited from the wedding. Am I clear?”

  After I’d secured a reluctant agreement from each of them, I ushered them downstairs. Adrenaline coursed through my body. I’d managed to whip together an impromptu bridal shower within the space of seventy-two hours. On top of that, I’d secured invitations for Gertie, Fortune and Ida Belle to the wedding on Saturday. Truly, we lived in a time of miracles.

  “Please don’t forget your gifts.” I handed each of them a present as they headed for the front door. I’d personally selected gifts for the bride and had wrapped them in elegant black and silver paper with a light pink bow made of French ribbon.

  True to his promise, Agent Mayeux had somehow procured a town car spacious enough for all of us. I thanked him as I slipped into the front seat. His only response was to wink as he shut my door.

  The drive to the Masters house passed surprisingly quickly and quietly. I felt a sudden surge of confidence that everything would go along today just as we’d planned. I would keep an eye on the bride-to-be, her mother, and her step-mother. Gertie was supposed to circulate among the guests and see if she could pick up any gossip that might be a clue that would help Kase. “Listen, don’t talk,” I’d advised her several times, but I suspected that advice fell on deaf ears. My great-aunt was meant to keep an eye on Lenora. “An eye,” I’d reminded her, “not a hand.” Fortune, for her part, was tasked with seeing what she could find out from Cassandra’s brother.

  If all we
nt according to plan, this would allow Agent Mayeux to loiter around, as he put it. When I’d pressed him for details he’d simply said, “The less you know, darlin’, the better.” Fine. It wasn’t like I didn’t have my own part to play in all of this. Lenora had readily agreed to host the shower at her home, and in return I had promised her to take on the role of hostess so that she could relax and enjoy the day.

  I looked over my shoulder. “Remember that it’s as simple as mix, mingle, smile, and listen.”

  Kase shot me a skeptical look. Oh, right. This was Sinful. The town where nothing was ever as simple as one, two, three. Silly me.

  Chapter Six

  THE FIRST THIRTY MINUTES of the bridal shower went precisely according to plan. As the guests who’d come in from New Orleans mingled with the ladies from Sinful, I sipped champagne from a crystal flute and silently congratulated myself on accomplishing what had seemed impossible at the outset. Thanks to Kase’s money, and my excellent taste, we’d managed to create an elegant affair.

  “Oh, Stephanie, this has just been the loveliest surprise.” The guest of honor stood at my side, her smile wide and her eyes bright. “I didn’t think I was going to even have a shower, least of all one this elegant.”

  “That surprises me, Cassandra. Surely your mother or grandmother had planned one for you?”

  She shook her head. “My mother and step-mother were arguing about the idea so much that my dad put a stop to it by saying I didn’t need a shower. And Grandmother is a recluse at heart. She’d never have opened her home to a bunch of people she didn’t know, even if they were friends of mine.”

  “But she’s hosting your wedding,” I objected. “Here at her home for several hundred people. Hardly the act of a hermit.”

  Cassandra shrugged. “Weird, I know. No one was more surprised than I was when she offered to have the wedding and reception here, trust me. But she’s been an angel about it. Everything I’ve wanted, she agreed to immediately. Well, except for one thing.”

  I made every effort to appear nonchalant, although I felt anything but. “Oh, really? What was that?” I took a sip of champagne. With any luck, she’d give me an interesting tidbit of information, however small, that I could take back to Kase.

  “Grandmother was insistent that she pick the date and the time for the ceremony.”

  A follow-up question was halfway formed on my lips when one of Cassandra’s sorority sisters joined us. After a brief chat, I excused myself so that I could go in search of Agent Mayeux.

  It took me a few moments, but I found him wandering the grounds. He looked surprised to see me.

  “Shouldn’t you be in there keeping an eye on things up at the house?” he asked.

  “I’m happy to report that everything is under control. Fortune, Gertie, and my great-aunt are absolute role models of proper behavior.” I said this with a feeling akin to pride. Agent Mayeux took off his sunglasses and stared down at me. “And doesn’t that fact have you just a little worried?”

  “No, of course not.” I thought a moment. “Should it?”

  “Fortune’s sipping tea from a china cup, Ida Belle is sitting quietly making small talk with a group of ladies, and, last I saw, Gertie has managed to keep her clothes on.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Personally, I’d be worried.”

  “Yes, I see your point.” I bit my lip, unsure of what to do about it, though. “Well, I did implore them to behave themselves. Did it ever occur to you that they might be enjoying acting like ladies?”

  “Acting’s the right word for it.” Kase gave a half-laugh. “Trust me, darlin’, if you go up there and let them off their leashes, they’ll be grateful.” He gave a quick look around to ensure that we were alone. “Besides, I’ve done everything out here that I can. I want to poke around the second story. Chaos would be a helpful distraction. I need twenty minutes or less.”

  “Chaos,” I repeated. “I think that can be arranged.” Who was I kidding? Chaos was second nature to these women.

  Kase took a step toward me, closing the distance between us. He reached out and laid his hands on my shoulders. “Stephanie, the whole reason we came up with the idea of a shower was to have another excuse to be here on the premises. Never mind all the crazy adults who live in this town. Sinful is full of young kids. Drugs

  have no business passing through here.”

  I nodded. “You’re right. I’ve just enjoyed the relative calm so far.”

  “Yes, but the fact that everything is going so smoothly is reason enough for people to get suspicious. This is Sinful, after all.” His eyes met mine.

  I was having the utmost difficulty looking away even though I knew I should go back. I took a deep breath. “I’d better go.”

  Kase leaned in and brushed a kiss across my forehead. “Keep an eye on the front staircase and don’t let anyone go up. Can you do that?”

  I nodded. The way my heart was beating in my chest, I’d pretty much have agreed to anything he asked of me. As I made my way up to the house, I forced myself to not look back. What little dignity I still possessed, I needed to keep intact.

  INCITING THE LADIES into riotous action took virtually no effort on my part. First, I made eye contact with Fortune, who appeared to instinctively understand that it was time to swing into action. She excused herself from the group she was sitting with and headed toward the foyer. A quick glance over my shoulder assured me that Shawn, who had been lurking in the room next door, was on her tail. I heard the front door close behind them. I shook my head. That poor, cocky kid.

  Despite stopping along the way to exchange pleasantries with a few guests, I made it across the room within a matter of minutes. I drew my great-aunt aside first. “Aunt Ida Belle, I need your help,” I said in a hushed tone. “Kase needs a few moments upstairs, so he asked that we create a distraction.” The flash of excitement in her eyes at the word distraction gave me pause. I laid my hand on her arm. “A small distraction, mind you. Nothing major.”

  She patted my hand before removing it from her person. “Consider me the Queen of Distraction.” She turned so her back was to the room and reached into her cleavage. My eyes widened when I saw what she pulled out.

  “Oh, no, Aunt Ida Belle.” My stomach rolled over. “Put that back. Better yet, give it to me.” I held out my hand.

  Aunt Ida Belle shook her head. “Sorry, Stephanie. You can’t have it both ways. You want a distraction but you also want me to sit around with these old biddies and act like we’re at a hemorrhoid convention? What kind of plan is that?”

  To save my life, I couldn’t think of a response, especially not with that visual.

  “Trust me, kiddo. Let me do my thing while you go watch out for your boyfriend.” Before I could grab hold of her arm, she stepped out of my reach. I cringed as she clapped her hands together. “Quiet everyone, please. It’s time for a game.” She sounded all-together too pleased with herself. “We all love a good bridal shower game, don’t we, gals?”

  I hightailed it over to Gertie as the guests cheered. But before I could say anything, Aunt Ida Belle lifted the offending object over her head and swung it around. “Anyone ever play ‘Pin the Tail on the Bitch?’”

  I sucked in a lungful of air and spluttered it right back out again. “Gertie, help,” I hissed. I pointed to the furry tail that Aunt Ida Belle was brandishing. “You have to do something.”

  “Damn straight.” With a reassuring nod in my direction, she plunged into the crowd that was forming around my great-aunt. “Hold on, Ida Belle,” she shouted, waving her arms over her head. “Don’t do anything until I can take bets on how long it takes you to pin the biggest ass in the room.”

  Horror such as I’d never experienced washed over me. This was worse than the time that I was kidnapped by a Russian mob boss. Worse than the time I watched Aunt Ida Belle confess to a murder she didn’t commit. Worse than the time I thought I’d lost my precious cat, Priscilla, to an alligator. Worse than the time—I gasped. Kase. I was supposed to be keepi
ng an eye on the stairs. I rushed to the doorway and planted myself squarely in the center of it. Not that I needed have worried about blocking a mass exodus. All eyes were on the spectacle that was my nearest and dearest relative.

  I cringed when I heard the crash of dishes hitting the floor. I bit my lip through the chants of “Pin her, pin her”. I squeezed my eyes shut when someone cried, “Not the cake!” and then the choir-like gasp that followed. But through the sounds of my carefully planned bridal shower being destroyed, I didn’t abandon my post.

  An eternity passed before I caught sight of Kase coming down the stairs toward me. “It’s about time. I need you to go in there and break up whatever’s going on.”

  Kase jogged down the last few steps to stand by my side. “No one’s called for an ambulance, have they? That’s a good sign.”

  “Not funny.” It annoyed me that he didn’t appear the least bit fazed by the bedlam around us. “You do realize that after this debacle, none of us will be welcome at the wedding.”

  He reached out and chucked my chin. “Somehow I trust you’ll smooth things over.”

  I pointed in the direction of the party. “There’s no recovering from this.”

  And then, like a cannonball, Fortune shot out from the back of the house, pausing only to say, “Heads up, Donny Masters is here and he’s pissed.” She ran straight into the ruckus that was occurring in the living room.

  “Damn.” Kase made a move toward the front door, but when it was pushed open from the other side, he swung back around to face me. “Work with me here.”

  “What? How?”

  He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly against his chest. “I don’t want Masters to see my face.” He turned us so that my back was up against the wall, and then he lowered his lips to mine in what was a most convincing kiss.

  The front door shook as a man with dark hair and an even darker scowl slammed it shut. “What the hell is going on here?” He growled. “And who the hell are you two?”