Healing Gabriella (Red Devils MC Book 8)

by Michelle Woods

  She was burning up and her body was literally trembling in need when she felt his teeth scrape against her nipple and suddenly she wasn’t with Kyle. Hard, evil hands were holding her down while taunting laughter and male voices were surrounding her. She could smell the sweat on their bodies and feel her skin crawl as they forced her down for their friend to violate her. She felt the man’s teeth biting into her flesh as she screamed for them to stop, for them to let her go. She was thrashing and her mind was shutting down as tears poured down her cheeks.

  “Babe, shh. It’s okay. You’re safe.” Kyle’s voice broke through the harsher sounds of their pleasure. Gabi was suddenly aware that she wasn’t being held down by cruel punishing hands that left bruises on her skin. Instead Kyle’s hands were barely holding her to his side as he caressed her hair gently, running his hands from her forehead to the very tips of the strands.

  “You’re safe.”

  Gabi realized that she was sobbing and that she had her hands balled into fists pushing against his chest as if trying to shove him away. Damn it. She’d freaked out again. How could he want her? How could he even think that they could be together and be happy. She didn’t want to be this useless traumatized person anymore. She wanted to be with him, but she couldn’t even enjoy fifteen minutes of foreplay without losing her shit. Her tears fell harder and she wanted to drown in them because she didn’t see a way around this irrational fear she felt. It wouldn’t leave her be and let her live her life. It was always there, ruining things.

  “I’m so-sorry. I’m-m so sorry.” Gabi sobbed, her hands clenching his shoulders as she buried her face into it. He let her sob for a few moments while rubbing her back and allowing her to calm down.

  “Hey, look at me,” he murmured.

  She didn’t want to look at him and she tried to sink into his chest. When she didn’t move her face from where it was pressed against his warm skin, Kyle cupped her chin forcing her to meet his eyes.

  “There you are,” he whispered, a gentle smile tugging at his lips as he gazed at her. His hand caressed her face cupping her cheek as he watched her silently for a long moment before speaking. “Stop apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry about. I took things too fast. It’s normal for you to freak out. They hurt you badly and that leaves scars. Scars that take time to heal, and honestly this won’t be the last time this happens, Gabi. I’m truthfully surprised it hasn’t happened between us before. You shocked the hell out of me by not freaking out while you spent months in my bed. I wasn’t always as gentle as I should have been. I held on too tight and I sometimes touched you more than I should have considering what you’d been through. What we need to do is figure out what the triggers are and find a way to disarm them. I know it could take years to do and some things might always cause the panic attacks, but we will make this work.”

  “How can you be okay with that, Pretty Boy?” She asked, using his road name to try and create distance between them.

  “Nope, no calling me that in bed. You know the rules.” He grunted, his glower dark as he gazed at her. She should have known he would never allow her to use his name to push him away.

  “I’ll ask again, how can you be okay with waiting years for me to get over this shit?” Gabriella tried to push back away from him, but he just grunted and refused to allow her to move. The hard hold he had on her didn’t frighten her and she found herself curling into his arms with her chin resting on her hands which were folded on his chest.

  “Babe I know you don’t understand, but you’re mine. Of course I will wait. For the rest of my life if I have to. We will make this work. Neither of us will ever be happy if we don’t.” His voice was husky and she could almost hear the weariness he felt.

  “I don’t want to hold you back or make you hate me if I can’t be what you need Kyle. I couldn’t bear it.” Gabi confessed, her heart aching at the thought of him hating her. Kyle gently wiped away the tears that still leaked from her eyes.

  “Sweetheart, I could never hate you. Even if we can’t work this sex thing out, I will always be right where I belong, as long as I have you with me. I—fuck I’m just gonna say it, you matter more than anything else ever has in my life. Nothing has ever meant more. Do you understand what I’m saying?” Kyle asked, his eyes darkening with his intensity.

  “I do, but I think you are sure you can get me past this fear I have, but I’m not so sure,” she whispered, her heart clenching.

  “Gabi, we can get past this, I know we can. You’ve already proven that. We were fine until something triggered your nightmares. What was it sweetheart? What caused you to freak out? Really think about it.” His hand was now threaded through her hair as he gazed up at her, his chest rising and falling in a soothing rhythm that calmed her raging emotions. Gabi closed her eyes and tried to think back to the moment when she’d felt that panic rising. She’d been okay with the kissing and her shirt coming off. Then he’d touched her breasts and sucked on her nipples, but she’d been fine then too. That was when it hit her.

  “They bit my breasts.” She finally whispered, her voice barely audible. She felt Kyles hand tighten in her hair as the words flowed out of her.

  “Good, that’s good, firefly. So now we know, no scraping my teeth against your pretty nipples. Let’s try to get some sleep now. I’m tired and I know you are too.” He was already shifting her over to lie on the bed beside him, his arms curling around her. Gabi could see the angry set of his jaw and the tight clench of his muscles.

  “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want. I’ll try not to freak out next time.” Gabi mumbled, her heart aching because he was angry at her.

  “Uh-uh no, I am not mad at you, baby. I’m mad at them. Furious really. I want to revive every last one of those bastards and then eviscerate them before murdering them all over again. They got off too easy for what they did to you. Way too fucking easy.” His voice was a little more than a growl by the time he’d stopped speaking.

  “You’re not mad because I panicked?” Gabriella asked, her uncertainty gripping her tightly.

  “No, and I never will be. Sometimes when you tell me about the things they did to you it will seem like I’m mad, but it’s not ever going to be directed at you Gabi. It’s always going to be at them. They never should have touched you and the fact that they were more than rough with you makes me a little crazy at times. I won’t always be able to be calm about it because it makes me so livid.”

  His hands rubbed against her back as he watched her with sincerity shining in his eyes as he stared at her. She felt her heart turn over in her chest as she realized that despite what had happened a short time ago, Kyle wanted them to continue building a relationship.

  “Okay.” She finally squeaked, her eyes still watching him as he closed his eyes and buried his hand into her hair.

  “Let’s get some sleep, babe. I need to be up fairly early.”

  She’d been half afraid he’d run at the first hurdle they encountered. Not that she should have been fearful of that. After all, he’d been there for her every step of the way for the last few years. She was almost convinced that he might actually be okay with them never having a sexual relationship. Not that she’d allow that to happen. She couldn’t do that to him. She would try this and if they couldn’t get past it she would do the right thing and let him go. Even if it would kill her to walk away from him, she would do it if she had to. Her heart clenched and she felt her pulse racing as fear roared through her at the thought of Kyle being gone. Trying to push away the panic, she laid her head on his chest listening to his deep even breathing as he brushed his hand through her hair. It wasn’t long before she was falling into a deep sleep that wasn’t tortured by nightmares.

  Chapter Eight

  Petty Boy inhaled deeply, his arms tightening around Gabriella’s waist. He let out a rumbling groan of pleasure as he felt her shift. Her soft hand curled against his chest beneath her cheek and her breath puffed against his skin. Damn, he loved waking up with her curle
d around him like this. It always made the perpetual hard-ons he sported worth it. Her slender leg was straddling his thigh and he could feel the soft heat coming from her pussy as she mewled and wiggled against him, as if trying to find the perfect spot. Last night had gone better than he’d expected their first encounter to go.

  The fact that she’d allowed him to suck on her pretty tits was progress. Knowing that those sick sons of bitches had hurt her pretty little buds nearly made him insane. Despite knowing setbacks were inevitable if they wanted to build a life together, he’d nearly lost his shit when she started balling in his arms. Pretty Boy felt his jaw clench again just thinking about the shit they were going to need to work through. Damn, he wanted to fly into a rage every time he learned more, but he knew that he had to be the calm one because she needed him.

  Pretty Boy’s hands tightened on her ass, holding Gabriella to him possessively as she grumbled. Her butt wiggling as she tried to find a better position. He couldn’t help the little smile that curled his lips. She always seemed to be able to calm him even when he was livid. It was a gift he wasn’t even sure she was aware she possessed. He’d discovered it a week after her return when she’d come between her brother and him. Normally someone stepping between him and someone he was pissed at was a bad idea. Not that he would ever hurt a woman, but at the very least, he would have told her off. Only when her tiny hand had landed on his chest, she’d looked up into his eyes and whispered the word please he’d been sunk. Her eyes had pooled with unshed tears and her lower lip was caught between her teeth. Suddenly the only thing he’d been thinking about was his hard cock and the need to sooth her. It was a little fucked up. He’d known that she wasn’t in anyway ready for what he wanted, but it hadn’t mattered. Pretty Boy discovered that he was already in too deep.

  It was sad really, how easily she’d wrapped him around her little finger. Almost as quickly as Molly had wrapped Bone around hers all those years ago when she walked into their territory. Pretty Boy ran his hand up and down Gabriella’s back caressing her supple curves as he contemplated how quickly a man’s life could change. Before Gabriella he’d only cared about two things—his club and getting laid—in that order. Not much had changed on that front he supposed. He still only cared about two things—Gabi and his club.

  It was the reason nearly ten months ago he’d called the vote. He hadn’t wanted any other fuckers getting ideas about Gabriella. Not only because of her trauma, but also because he knew she’d already belonged to him. She had from the moment she had come to him a few nights after she’d been rescued. When he’d called for a vote, he’d done it because he’d known without a doubt that she was already his old lady, even if she didn’t know it.

  Feeling the urge to piss, Pretty Boy shifted on the bed, slowly easing her off his chest to get up. His sweet girl groaned and shifted restlessly, only calming when his hand gently rubbed her back for a few moments. She let out a little huffy sigh that made a smile tug at his lips before he headed into the bathroom. He needed to take a shower and report to Bone anyway. As much as he wanted to laze around in bed with Gabi curled up next to him, he couldn’t. He had shit to take care of today, but as soon as it was done he was asking for some down time. He’d more than earned it, and building something with Gabriella would take time. Whistling as he stripped off his pants he didn’t see Gabi standing in the doorway until she gasped. He spun to look at her, forgetting that he’d dropped his pants. His cock was on full display and he thought at first that she was shocked to be staring at his thick hardness, which was very happy to see her, but she wasn’t.

  “What’s that?” She demanded, pointing at his hip, her mouth hanging open in shock.

  “What? This?” He asked, pointing to the tat low on his right hip. Realizing that despite his having had it for a year, she’d never seen it.

  “Yes that,” she said, her voice slightly horse.

  “Well it’s a tattoo babe.”

  “Yes, I can see that, but it says Property of Gabriella!” she screeched, glaring at him.

  “It does, and I don’t understand why you are freaking out about it. It’s not a big deal firefly. I do belong to you. Just as much as you belong to me.” Pretty Boy didn’t comment on the fact that she seemed less shocked by his cock standing to attention and waving hello than she was about the tattoo he’d gotten one night when he was pissed off that some skank had touched him.

  It had been about a month after she’d stopped sleeping in his bed after those two bozos had convinced her to leave him. One of the club whores hadn’t wanted to take, not interested as an answer to her offers of sex. He’d woken up from a light sleep one night when he’d stayed at the club house to find her in his bed. She’d already pulled his pants down and was intending to give him a blow job. After he’d yanked his pants back up, he’d kicked her out of his room and resolved never to sleep at the clubhouse again. Unable to stand the thought of another woman’s hands on him he’d gotten the tattoo. He was hoping that it would warn off any woman trying to touch him.

  “Bu-but I don’t—It’s umm permanent.” She looked so adorably confused when she said it that he couldn’t be mad at her.

  “Yeah, babe, it is but so are we. I don’t know why you keep thinking there is a way out for either of us at this point. We’re set in stone. You’re mine and I’m yours. That’s just the way things are.” He shrugged and waited for her to say something.

  “I just—we—why would you do that?” She asked.

  “Because I needed to. It kept me from carrying you back to my bed where you belonged.”

  “What? I don’t even have a response to that. It’s not very logical.” Gabi whispered, her eyes wide as she stared at the tattoo.

  “Firefly, I needed to mark you into my skin. That’s it. There’s nothing to understand but that. I don’t think you get how serious I am about you being mine. Nobody does. It’s starting to get a little frustrating honestly.” Pretty Boy sighed as he watched her in the doorway. Her eyes bounced up to his and then back down.

  Gabi’s cheeks suddenly reddened and she glanced down at the cock she’d been ignoring. He felt a grin curling his lips as he watched her with heavy lidded eyes. He knew she was embarrassed that she’d been having this whole conversation with his dick hanging out. Pretty Boy was taking her lack of fear upon realizing as a damned good sign. Maybe he should ease her into a more sexual relationship by stripping more often. It might take away some of the anxiety she was sure to have if she was used to seeing him without clothes.

  “Umm—I’ll let you shower. I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to walk in on you while you were um—uh like that.” Gabi said, her hand waving towards his stiff cock.

  “Babe, it’s fine. Anytime you want to look at me you can. You can touch me too. I won’t mind.” He watched her eyes dart away from his cock as the redness in her cheeks increased. Damn she was adorable.

  “Um—right. Sure. I’m just going to go um make some breakfast. Do you want some pancakes?” She asked, her eyes still bouncing around looking at anything except him. Smiling, he couldn’t help teasing her a little more before he put her out of her misery.

  “Look at me firefly,” he commanded.

  Gabi’s eyes met his filled with a mixture of fear and desire. The fear he could do without, but the desire made his cock twitch and his muscles tense as need gripped him hard.

  “You can look any time you want. Anytime. You understand?”

  “Ye—yes,” she squeaked, her head nodding up and down.

  “Good. Pancakes sound good.” He wasn’t surprised when she nodded and scurried out of the bathroom door without looking at him again. A gentle ache settled in his chest and he knew that she had no idea the power she had over him, but she’d learn.

  Pretty Boy walked into the clubhouse feeling damned good. His girl was back in his cabin where she belonged. After eating the best blueberry pancakes he’d had in ages, he’d kissed her long and deep on his way out the door. He entered the club ho
use with a grin on his face and a happy feeling simmering in his chest. It wasn’t a surprise that Gabi made him happy, he’d always known having her locked down was what he needed to be whole. Tank was leaning against the bar watching him silently.

  “You’re late,” Tank grunted looking cranky.

  “I am. Had some shit to do that was more important than being here at eight this morning.” Pretty Boy said with a shrug.

  “You could have at least texted so the rest of us didn’t have to leave our women, asshole.” Tank snapped, enlightening Pretty Boy as to why he was being a dick. Not that Pretty Boy blamed him. Spending time with your girl was way more fun than getting up at the butt crack of dawn to chat about bullshit they didn’t want to deal with. Ignoring the angry mountain breathing fire at him from across the room, he headed into the room that they normally held church in. Most of the time they didn’t use this room outside of church, but today they were because Bone’s office was too small for the twelve men who needed to hear the report he was giving.

  “’Bout fucking time you showed up boy.” Duck grunted as Pretty Boy entered the room.

  “Damned straight.” Tank said as he followed him into the room.

  “Enough! We’ve all been where he is and I didn’t really expect him on time.” Bone barked shaking his head before adding, “of course I did expect him thirty minutes ago.”

  “She wanted to make pancakes. I couldn’t tell her no.” Pretty Boy said grinning wickedly. Bone grunted and shook his head.

  “Pansy assed mother fucker.” Bone chuckled.

  “Yep, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now can we get to business.” He asked as he took a seat at the table to give his repot. Snickers broke out in the room and Log held his hand up for a fist bump.