Princess Ces'alena (Webster Fields)

by Mercedes Keyes

  “Where is Lena?”

  Jordan gulped. “She gon’ wit’ Thomas.”

  “Where?” Manny forced the word through clinched teeth.

  “The Indian village, she teach there sometime.” Mazie answered this time.

  “So she traipses about with him and leaves our daughter unattended?!” He blasted angrily.

  “I was watchin’ the baby fo’ha.”

  “And what a good job you did. I thank you, you are now relieved of your duties. I will see to my daughter’s care from here out!”

  “What you mean? What you gone do?” Mazie asked afraid. “You ain’t gone take Lena’s baby from her is you?”

  “Should I have a care for her feelings? As she did for mine? Did she have a care for me?! No! Three years! Three!!!” He asked, barking the last part.

  Jordan grew worried. “Come on Manny, what you sayin’? You jus’ upset…you got t’calm down and think.” Jordan pleaded gently.

  “Oh I am thinking! Thinking how foolish I was to actually believe you all cared about me.”

  “Manny you wrong. We ain’t do that to hurt you? We was tryin-…”

  “You all knew! All of you! And no one said a thing! You can’t keep my daughter from me! I should take her now and leave this place!” He threatened in anger.

  “Come on Manny, we ain’t have no choice! How we gone endanger her life, when she Lena chile?!” Jordan tried to reason with him.

  “Lena’s and mine! Mine as well!!!” Steaming and growing angrier by the moment, Manny, with a tight hold of his daughter strode from the barn heading for the main lane to the mansion. Jordan and Leon followed him as Mazie stood a moment, then turned away sad.

  Manny walked down the cabin’s lane on his way back to the mansion, his stride determined, yet careful for the precious find in his arms - his daughter; all those up and out about their chores or duties stopped and stared as he passed them by, carrying Hope. All was shortly abuzz, one woman running to the next. Eager to spread the news to those who were not close enough to witness what they saw. Before Manny made it to the mansion, the news that he’d found out about his daughter, was already at the door of Jacob Weston and Patrick Johnson. The Johnson’s hadn’t gone to the Indian village that morning because Liddy was with child and very sick with the pregnancy, which put them off their usual visit to the Indian village until she was feeling better.

  This day, Lena and Thomas had traveled alone. Most knew this as well, and every single thread of possible outcomes was discussed. All did their part to keep the secret, but now that it was out…there was a field day of gossip and speculation as to what Manny would do to Lena?

  What Manny might do to Thomas? There was even talk of a possible dog fight between the two men over her. The buzz of excitement and chatter abounded and not one person there could wait for Lena and Thomas’s return.

  By the time Manny reached the mansion, he decided to go in through the front door, because Ruby and Cora were sitting at the back, snapping peas. At the sight of him, Cora stood spilling her bowl looking towards him as he walked around. She next looked at Ruby.

  “Lord’a’mercy - is my eyes playin’ tricks on me?” Cora asked standing, still gazing in the direction to where he rounded the house. “No sa’ - I seen it too! Now you know there gone be some stuff tonight. I need to go tell Jean!” Ruby stated setting down her bowl.

  “Now you know we got to shell these peas!” Cora reminded her.

  “Listen heah ain’t nobody, no how – no way gone be concerned ova’no peas tonight. I got to go tell somebody!”

  “Oooh-weee! You go on…I’ah do it and listen fo’what I can hear. ‘Cause you know that man gone be doin’ some hollerin’!” Cora said. “Oooh! Ma’ Nicey! I got go tell her, wait till she hear it!”

  “Well I tell you, it’s Lena’s fault. Running off with that Thomas, and leaving the chile’ here. Ain’t nobody to blame but herself! That one there get takin’ ain’ nobody to-…” Cora started with her opinion, hand on hip.

  “Don’t you start - I’m glad it’s out. It to’e that man up, loosen that boy, then we went and hid that baby on’em.” Ruby defended.

  “Well who side you on?” Cora asked leaning back, hand on hip.

  “I don’t know – it’s just sad is all I’m sayin’.”

  “Well gone tell Ma’ Nicey, I’ll listen fo’ what they say in the house.”

  “Maybe I should stay, and you go tell Ma’Nicey?” Ruby re-thought, concerned that she might miss something. “Ohhh no, you go tell Ma’Nicey…I ain’t goin’ no where. I said it firs’.” Cora defended heatedly, not about to be moved from her post.

  “Ah’right, ah’right…I’ll go. After - I’mo go see Mazie… she was watchin’ Hope! She know what happened… how he found out!” Ruby brightened upon that realization.

  Cora’s eyes got big. “Oh! I’ll go!” She changed her mind at the thought of that. Ruby was already stepping off the porch gleeful.

  “Oh no suga’darlin’! You said it firs’ - remember!” And off she went, almost in a sprint to get to Ma’Nicey then Mazie, whose cabin was going to be a bustling place today.

  Manny walked into the front door, through the foyer, and then the living room with his daughter, gushing with her baby expressions.

  “Y’how pre’ee m’daddy.” She smiled proud of her completed sentence. Those words however came to Manny like a blow to his stomach. Here was his child, complimenting him on the luxury’s of his home and life, when she should have been in the very midst of it all. Again he grew angry; here was his daughter, victim to this worldwide society and their cruel rules and stipulations; that said she was not his true daughter, but a “get” of his scattered oats. He called to Kayleen as he made his way down the hall. Trying to disguise the anger he felt. He didn’t want to frighten Hope, but he’d gotten his second wind, and it was ready to blow.

  “Look Manny, why’on’t you give that baby to Leon. She’on need to be hearin’ all this.” Jordan asked close behind him. Feeling worse with every step he took behind his friend. He knew the betrayal Manny was feeling; and was trying to find the words to explain his position in it all. Manny walked on without a word in reply. They came to the dining room, and then to the kitchen door. He pushed it open with Jordan and Leon behind him.

  Kayleen was in the kitchen mixing dough. She hadn’t heard Manny call for her, but when he walked into the huge room with Hope in his arms, she dropped the bowl with the flour and dough mixture on the way to the center work table. She froze there, her mouth open and her heart leaping and breaking from the hurt expression on Manny’s face when he glared at her with tear filled, accusing eyes. She felt faint and stepped closer to the work table needing it for support, forgetting the bowl and flour spilled on the floor. Here stood a man who might as well have been her own son. She had wet nursed him when Royal could not feed him. She had rocked him to sleep on many nights, singing him lullaby’s taking turns with Royal. The heat and move to this land had been hard on her. It had taken her some time to adjust and regain a portion of her strength in order to do the simplest tasks through the day. At night, Kayleen would let her sleep, and she saw to her nephew. That child, was now a man, who stood before her, unable to understand how she could have taken part in hiding his own child from him.

  Kayleen didn’t know what to say. Her eyes grew moist as she looked into his. She knew that he trusted her more than he did his own father, and now - that would never be again. Right there in that moment, Kayleen doubted her reasons as to why she’d done what she had. At the time, it seemed the only way. Hope rose to look at her, the silence in the room unsettling to the small child. The look on her tiny face broke Kayleen’s heart again, she was afraid she’d done something bad, and her words spoken proved that.

  “Mamaleen I so’ry - I’no bad gul’.” She whimpered about to cry. Manny’s face turned scarlet hearing his daughter’s words and sadness. Kayleen walked up to her, “Shh darlin’ Mamaleen-…”

  Her words
were cut off when Manny turned her out of Kayleen’s reach as she reached up to caress Hope’s little cheek. The gesture was as much as slapping Kayleen. He turned to Leon, “Take her in the other room and go no further - understand?” Leon nodded and reached for Hope. “No! St’ m’daddy!” Hope fussed leaning back from Leon. Manny shifted her and lifted her before him. “Listen. Daddy’s not going anywhere. Go with Leon for now, I will get you in a moment.” He pulled her to him, and kissed her cheek with a solid sucking noise that made her laugh, next delivering another to her neck, which dissolved her into infectious giggles as she drew up from being tickled by the little prickles of his beard and mustache.

  He passed her on to Leon, who took her and left the room. Manny could hear her little voice as he carried her away. “Das m’daddy ‘eon…das m’daddy.” And then her little voice tapered off as the door closed and the three of them were left in the kitchen. Manny turned slowly back to find Kayleen sitting at the table now. Jordan had walked to the side counter and was leaning there waiting. He looked from Jordan to Kayleen, who sat unable to look at him, then finally as the silent moments passed, he asked.

  “Whose idea — was it to keep my daughter from me? Was it Lena’s?”

  Kayleen was still looking at the wall, and shook her head, “No chile, it was my idea. Mine and Ma’Nicey’s.” She admitted softly.

  “You?!” He asked incredulously. “Nooo, not you! Oh my God!” He went back against the wall shocked to find that truth. At first he thought her guilt was in just helping Lena hide her. But now - now…he was truly stunned. “Why? - Why? How could you do that to me? I thought you – my God, Kayleen?” He asked in disbelief. She sat silent trying to come up with words he would understand, and wondered if there were any.

  He turned to Jordan then, “And you, you had known all along? Do I even know you?!” Manny shook his head spinning, looking to him for the answers, but he kept his face downcast, not sure what to say himself.

  “Somebody say something. I need to understand this? ‘Cause I can tell you now, I sure as hell don’t!”

  “Manny chile, you wasn’t here when all the hell broke loose; when all was happening, and there was nothing nobody could do to stop it. You didn’t get to see Lena layin’ in that bed, all beat up and close to dead - she fight so hard for that boy.” Kayleen stopped feeling tears burn in her eyes. “We neva’ thought, somethin’ like that gonna happen here. Not here!” She thought back to the shocking afternoon. “I couldn’t find Morris - and Jordan and the rest did all they could to save that chile’, but he gone.”

  Manny’s jaw clenched so tightly, the pulse in his jugular ticked visible to the eye. Kayleen looked up at him. “I love you.” He looked away from her.

  “Turn yo’head if you want. But the truth is, only power we got, is what we have to do to protect our self.” She waited for some reaction from him, but still he could not face her, steaming in his own anger at the only picture he saw, that was them keeping Hope from him.

  She sighed deep and long. Then told him all, “I thought - that day… Lena was gone die and that baby was gonna die with her. And I prayed to God, not to let them die! I already lost Mikey. I made up my mind when we - had to force that baby from Lena that nobody was gone take her away from here. I thought long and hard, and made up my mind that - if didn’t nobody know she was here…she be safe.”

  Manny stood hearing, but he didn’t want to listen. He didn’t want to see things from her side. He didn’t want to understand how hard it was for her to have done what she had, all he could see, was that she’d done it to him – just as she had the others, as if he was not apart of them – the slaves – it hurt – because he’d always been on their side. Right then he felt alone, that no one, was on his side.

  “Any how - I figure if we switch them babies, and I could talk Lena into goin’ through with it, she would be safe. That baby be safe. I didn’t wanna hurt you, but you got to stop this with her…you got to-…”

  “No! You have no right to ask that of me!” Manny blasted shaking in his pain.

  “Chile what about Ms Katherine? You got a wife. Has that left your mind? You got to stop this-…”

  “I don’t want her! I never wanted her!” He blurted feeling his frustration growing again.

  “Well that’s just too bad. ‘Cause the time to say that - was before you marry her! You should’ah been fightin’ then for what you want. Not when you start losing everythin’ - then you wanna blame us ‘cause it all gone bad!” Kayleen was getting angry now.

  “So now it’s all my fault!? I trusted you!” He cried, for lack of anything else to say.

  “This ain’t about trust! It’s about you - making up your mind - to marrying that woman - and bring her here!”

  “My father made me!!” He roared.

  Kayleen stood, as her temper flared. “You hold it right there! Right there!” She warned in biting anger. “I ain’t yo’daddy! Don’t you - never - ever – raise yo’ voice at me again! Do you understand me boy?!”

  Manny froze as his nostrils flared, but he didn’t move, nor say another word. “Yo’ daddy ain’t did nothing but what he always do - bluff! And you give into'im!”

  “‘Cause no matter how that man get on my nerve sometime - he ain’t no monsta’! Ain’t no way he would’ah eva’ sol’ that boy! Nor bring no harm to his mama! He deal you a hand, you wasn’t man enough to know how to play, so you gave him what he want.”

  They stood silent, as Manny felt himself burning from humiliation. Kayleen could handle him as no one could – simply because, she was his mother and what he would take from her, he would take from no one else. He would argue and cuss at Morris sun up and then down, but when she came into the room after hearing it, one look from her, and Manny would stop his tirade with his father. Yet and still, concerning this matter, his daughter, breathing hard, he could not give up his fight to be heard.

  “Regardless of what you say - and the reasons you have for what you did, she is mine! I would have never hurt her! How could you put me, with them Kayleen? She’s mine. You had no right to keep her from me.”

  Kayleen realized that he only saw his own hurt and anguish, not that she did what she did to protect him. She turned away tired of it. He turned to Jordan then, “And you, you knew…how could you not tell me?”

  “’Cause i’s like I say in the barn, it was up to Lena to put that baby’s life in yo’ hands, not mine. Manny - forgive me for what I say now…but the truth is, if you plan on lovin’ a black woman - yo’slave…you gon’ have to learn to share her hurt. You gone have to understan’ her reason’s for doing, what only a black woman have to - to survive; for herself, an’ for her babies. Whatever that is she do, you gone have to be man enough to suffer an’ accept what yo’ world gone do to you, and yo’ children because of it.”

  Manny didn’t want to hear anymore. He felt like raging from all his suppressed fury as he looked from Jordan to Kayleen.

  “You know what - nothing I do - is ever good enough. I see now – that I stand alone! I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough when I should have been! I’m sorry we live in a world such as this! My God – I did not – make this world – what it is! I did not!” He stood breathing deep and harsh, tears filling his eyes once more, facing them, the two people in his world he was certain, that he could trust. “If no one gives a damn – about me – where do I turn?”

  Kayleen sat crying now, hurting – because he hurt. The last thing she wanted, was this.

  Manny shook his head, “Oh well, I know who I am, and how I feel!” He steamed. “How dare you tell me – I have not suffered! I have been doing nothing but suffering for the last three years! For the way I feel! And for loving - Ceś alena Huebana! I have hurt - in a way – that - neither of you will ever understand! You both get to stand there and go, tsk tsk tsk…po’dumb Manny!”

  “Doing everything wrong! But I’m the one-…” He pounded his tight chest, wanting to sob. He stopped, holding his fist to his heart, wondering wo
uld his hell ever end. “I’m the one-…” He thumped it again, his chest hurt and burned. “…-who has to live with it! I have to look back and see - where I went wrong! I have to look back and know… my son is-…” He couldn’t finish. He turned and kicked the kitchen door open slamming it against the wall as he walked away. Passing the dining room he grabbed up one of the chairs and slammed it to the table top shattering it, then let it drop and walked from the dining room.

  He paced in the hallway back and forth to cool down before he went to Hope. Wiping his hand over his face, taking several deep breaths, blinking his eye lids to wash away the tears – unable to keep himself from her any longer, he went looking for Hope and Leon, and found them on the front porch. “Come here.” He ordered softly, holding his hands out to pick her up.

  Hope happily went straight into them.

  Leon sat in hurt silence as Manny headed for the steps. “No one - is going to take you from me. I’ll kill them first! Fuck it! I will kill them all.” He growled heatedly stepping down the porch steps, and began walking away around the side of the mansion.

  Leon sat unable to move, having heard his words, feeling them to be directed at him, he sat broken hearted. He wanted to go to Manny and beg his forgiveness. No one loved Manny as much as he did. To him, Manny was his father and he wished he’d taken his side. He wished he’d told him from the very beginning. He sat wiping tears from his eyes. All of a sudden he saw movement in his peripheral vision, and looked up. Manny was standing and holding Hope staring at him. Leon wiped his face, and swallowed. “What are you sitting there for? You comin’ or not?” Leon shot up from his seat, nodding his head happily, to join them. When next to Manny, he blurted. “I’m sorry. I should’a told you, but everybody-…”