Fall Into Me (Heart of Stone)

by K. M. Scott

  "I can't wait! It'll be fun!" she squealed as she enveloped me in a bear hug. As she held me, I felt her grow serious. In my ear, she said quietly, "Take care of yourself. I want you to remember something. I don't know if you know what I always say, but it's true. Good things happen to good people, and you're the best, so that means great things are in store for you."

  Releasing me, she smiled. "Now promise me you won't forget that."

  "Not unless I have another head injury," I joked.

  Jordan screwed her face into a frown. "Not funny. Now you go have an incredible Christmas and I'll see you at the top of the world at ten on New Year's Eve."

  "I'll be there in sparkles and bangles."

  Chapter Nine

  Nina

  I couldn't help but think about everything Jordan had told me as the Town Car rolled over the highway on my way back home. By the time Jensen got me back to Tristan's house, my mind was filled with doubts about love. Why had Cal betrayed me like that? We'd been so close. Or at least I'd thought we'd been. Would I ever feel the same love I'd obviously felt for Tristan before? Or was that a remnant of my forgotten past I'd never have the chance to enjoy again?

  God, everything was so confusing! I felt like everywhere I turned were those funhouse mirrors that distorted people and I kept seeing myself in them—stretched out and wavy in one, flattened in another. Now Cal had to be added to the distortion.

  But not Jordan or Tristan. Neither one of them ever veered away from what they'd said to me that first time I saw them in the hospital. I was lucky to have two people who cared about me. I knew that.

  I put away my new clothes and flopped back onto my bed. As I lay there, I couldn't help but wonder why the memory of Cal was all I could think about.

  Listen to what Jordan said and don't be stupid, Nina. You have a great guy here who tells you he loves you all the time and means it. Leave Cal where he belongs. In the past.

  I knew I should leave him in my forgotten past. I just couldn't.

  Tristan and I had dinner promptly at five, as I'd come to find out was our routine. He smiled when he saw me and said he'd had a great day after our rendezvous, but those sexy brown eyes told a different story about his day. Perhaps after taking off so much time to tend to me after my accident, the work he'd neglected had finally caught up to him. Whatever it was that made him look so exhausted, I wished I could make it all go away.

  Pushing his plate away from him, he forced a smile. "How was your day after you left Le Ciel?"

  I felt a blush race over my cheeks at the mention of our time at the boutique. "It was good. I went to see Jordan. She said she and Justin would come to celebrate New Year's Eve with us. I think she's looking forward to it."

  Tristan reached out his hand to cover mine as it sat on the table. "And are you?"

  "I am. I think we'll have a great time."

  His smile softened, becoming more genuine. "Good. Any idea what we should feed them?"

  "Cocktail weenies?" I said with a giggle.

  Raising his eyebrows, he smirked. "I think my chef can do better than that. Perhaps I'll let him run with the menu. I promise you'll love it."

  "I'm sure I will...love it," I said as I slid my hand out from under his.

  He noticed its movement immediately and looked down at the spot where my hand had sat and then up at my face. "Is there something wrong, Nina? I'd thought after last night and this morning, we'd turned a corner. Was I wrong?"

  I didn't know if he was wrong. The time we'd spent together at the penthouse the night before had been incredible. And the dressing room at Le Ciel? Mind blowing. There was no doubt in my mind that the sex between us worked. It worked like with no one before. But I had to wonder about the feelings underneath what we did with one another when we were naked.

  "No. It was great. There's no denying that."

  Tristan's eyebrows knitted in that look of concern that he seemed to wear a lot, mostly because of me. "But something's wrong?"

  I couldn't think of a way to say what was on my mind, so I just went with the straightforward truth. "There's no doubt we rock it in bed. No doubt. But is sex all we are? I mean, couples usually do normal couples stuff."

  "Like?" he asked with a distinct edge to his voice.

  "Like sit around and watch movies," I blurted out, unsure if that's what I meant at all.

  "You want to watch a movie tonight? Is that what you're saying?"

  I could tell by the look on his face that he was confused by my attitude toward him. I couldn't blame him. We'd made love over and over the night before, and then the Le Ciel thing had happened, so he had every right to think that I was beginning to feel something for him.

  I was. I just didn't know how to feel about that.

  "Could we? Did we ever do that, or did we only have sex all over the place?"

  On those rare occasions when Tristan really smiled, he was the most incredibly stunning man I'd ever seen. At that moment when I asked if all we'd ever done was have sex, one of those true smiles broke out across his face, lighting up even his tired eyes.

  "Yes, we've watched movies before. You tend to like ones I don't and vice versa, but I'm sure we can compromise."

  "Good."

  Loosening his tie, he focused his gaze on me. "But I want to get something straight with you. Just because we're attracted to one another doesn't mean we never cared for each other. The two things are not mutually exclusive."

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by that."

  "I think you have some idea that because I want you that I can't be in love with you. Nothing could be further from the truth, Nina."

  This was one of those times I was sure he had some mind reading ability he used on me. Even before I'd realized it, he'd nailed down what had been playing on my mind since Jordan had told me about Cal.

  I looked down at my hands as they sat in my lap. "I guess I'm just worried that sex was all there was between us." Looking up, I saw him staring at me with what looked like hurt in his eyes. "Not that the sex isn't great, but was there more?"

  "The sex was great—is great—because there is more. Your mind may not know it yet, but your heart does. Listen to it, Nina."

  When he looked at me with those eyes that seemed to look straight into my soul, I couldn't help but prayed that he was right. I wanted to listen to my heart. It's just that my head kept interrupting with all those doubts about him. About love. About Cal.

  I needed to know why Cal had so easily dumped me for some girl after I'd told him I'd loved him. Something inside told me that if I didn't find out what had happened between us, then nothing would ever truly be right between Tristan and me.

  He interpreted my silence as rejection and leaned back in his chair. "I'm happy to give you all the time you need, Nina. All I ask is that you not fight feeling something for me."

  "That's not it, Tristan. I didn't mean..." I let my sentence trail off into the uncomfortable feeling that had formed around us right there in that dining room. I felt bad, but I was sure once I found out what had happened with Cal, everything between Tristan and me could be right. Maybe it would be even better than it had been before.

  He stood from the table and placed his napkin next to his plate. "Let me get changed and we'll haggle over that movie. Sound good?"

  "Sure. That sounds great. Give me a few minutes and I'll meet you in..." I stopped because I didn't know where to say to meet him. The media room? His room? Now that we'd slept together, spending the night with him in his room seemed like the next logical step, but I wasn't sure it meant the same thing to him.

  "Let's get some use out of that media room. I'll meet you there in say twenty minutes? I have some work I have to take care of, but I'll tell Rogers to make some popcorn."

  His desire to watch the movie not in his room but in the media room confused me. Maybe last night hadn't meant what I thought it had. But then again, he was the one always professing love.

  As he left the dining room, I worked to
clear my muddled head. It was probably better if we kept our living arrangements like they'd been for a little while more anyway. I needed to find out about what had made the only other man I'd ever said I love you to leave me. Once the past was cleared up, the present could begin to be great.

  At least I hoped so.

  Tristan's media room wasn't like any room normal people watched movies in. More like a movie theater than a room, it had an enormous U-shaped black chenille sectional couch that felt like heaven to sit on. Extra deep, the seats were almost as big as chaise lounges all around. It faced a TV that was so big it took up almost the entire wall. I felt tiny in this room so full of big things.

  Easing back onto the sofa, I let myself enjoy the luxury. He did know how to live.

  "Don't get too comfortable," he announced as he entered the room, his arms full with a yellow plastic bowl overflowing with buttery popcorn and a roll of paper towels.

  I sat up quickly, unsure what he meant. "Why?"

  "We need to have some of this popcorn. Three pans of Jiffy Pop popcorn are here waiting for us to dig in."

  He placed the bowl on the coffee table in the center of the sofa and walked back to begin the movie as I took a handful of popcorn. The familiar taste of that buttery and salty snack was delicious, even after our perfectly prepared steak dinner.

  Popping another kernel in my mouth, I looked back at him. "I haven't had Jiffy Pop in years! I wouldn't think you'd be a Jiffy Pop guy."

  He shook his head. "I'm not. I'd never had it before you asked for it one night when we watched one of your chick flicks."

  I twisted my face into a look of fake disgust at his cheap shot at my favorite type of movie. "So when did you run out to get some Jiffy Pop in the last twenty minutes?"

  He sat down beside me as the movie began. "I didn't. We have it here all the time since you told me you liked it."

  "Oh. Well, that's good to know. You know, just in case I decide I want popcorn at two in the morning."

  Tristan's casual statement rocked me. I tried to hide how much it meant to me behind my joking, but I was truly touched by his attentiveness.

  "So are you ready for some Iron Man 2?"

  "And this is what you call haggling? I'm not getting a chick flick vibe here," I teased.

  Putting his arm around me, he pulled me close and grinned. "Yes and no. It's not a chick flick, but it's got great cars and there's a girl."

  "Please tell me you at least believe I like this movie."

  As the film began and he dimmed the lights, he softly kissed my lips. "You do. Trust me."

  I ended up loving the movie, and by the time we fell asleep in each other's arms right there in the media room, I was almost convinced that, in the end, my heart would have the final say instead of my head.

  The winter sun warmed my room as it woke me the next morning. I rolled over and focused on the clock. 8:05. Looking around, I saw I was in my bedroom tucked under the covers. I vaguely remembered Tristan carrying me there and putting me to bed after the movie.

  As I slowly came back to life, I saw a sheet of white paper on the pillow next to me. As was his habit, Tristan had left me his own version of a good morning kiss. No envelope this time. Just a sheet of stationery.

  Dear Nina,

  Thank you for the movie date. I'm happy you enjoyed it. I'll be busy all day, but tonight I thought we'd visit one of our favorite restaurants. I'll pick you up at six sharp.

  Love,

  Tristan

  My eyes slid over the words, noting each stroke of his handwriting. I'd grown to love these notes from him, even feeling disappointed when he didn't leave one. As I reread his letter, I wondered what restaurant he meant. I guessed I'd see at six.

  After a quick shower, I dressed in a cute navy blue sweater dress and knee-high boots and headed to the kitchen for some much needed coffee. As I sipped the French Vanilla roast blend, I thought about the day ahead of me, nervous about what I'd find out.

  "Miss, is there anything you need?"

  I looked around and saw Rogers standing in the doorway. His expression was kind, as it had been the day I arrived at this house, but he watched me like a hawk, his dark eyes following every move I made. With his slicked back steel grey hair and long face, he reminded me of a maître d' at one of those exclusive restaurants.

  Lifting my mug of coffee, I smiled and shook my head. "Got everything I need. Thanks. I'll pick something up to eat in the city when I go shopping."

  As soon as I said the words, I felt guilty, as if going to visit someone from my past was a bad thing. Lying had never been something I was good at. I knew Tristan's butler saw my guilt too. Something in the way his eyes grew wider for just a moment told me he didn't believe me.

  He stood silently looking at me, and every second that went by I grew more uncomfortable. I began to fidget and my eyes darted around the room to avoid his stare. Finally, I croaked out, "Well, guess it's time to head out. Have a good one."

  Rogers nodded slowly and moved aside to allow me to pass, but I felt his eyes on me the whole time. I couldn't tell if it was my own guilty conscience or his silent judging me about something else, but I felt sick all of a sudden.

  "Jensen, I'm meeting Jordan to shop, so feel free to take a break. Get some lunch," I chirped out to Tristan's driver.

  He lowered his slightly graying head and smiled. I didn't get any sense that he suspected me of anything as Rogers seemed to have, so I happily marched into Macy's and waited for what seemed like long enough before I ducked out the nearest exit.

  Out to Cal's office four blocks away.

  I raced up the street, walking as fast as I could in my boots, among the throngs of people headed out on their day's business. As I passed the men and women on their way to wherever they were going, I wondered if any of them was like me—going to talk to a ghost from her past.

  Cal's office was on the fifteenth floor of a typical skyscraper in Manhattan. I stepped inside the building and looked for the elevator, eager to speak to him and hopefully find out what about me had made it so easy for him to turn his back on my love. I wasn't sure I wanted to know, to be honest, but I was sure I needed to.

  The elevator stopped on his floor, and I stepped out into a greeting area for the firm he worked for as an actuary. I'd found out he worked at Peak International with just a few minutes of online searching, and as I stood behind a gentleman in an overcoat waiting to speak to the receptionist, I began to doubt my initial idea of meeting with Cal.

  The reception area was modest, with older chairs and a carpet that reminded me of the cream and burgundy print one my grandmother had in her living room when I was a child. The walls were off white, but I couldn't decide if they'd been painted that shade or aged to that color.

  "May I help you?" the attractive Asian woman behind the desk asked.

  Torn from my thoughts, I smiled and said, "Yes. I'm hoping to see Cal Johnson. Is he in?"

  "Who may I say is here to see him?"

  I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. "Nina Edwards."

  The receptionist nodded. "If you'll take a seat, I'll buzz him, miss."

  I sat on one of the upholstered waiting area chairs and smoothed my dress over my thighs in an effort to calm myself and dry my hands drenched with nervous sweat. A hundred recriminations ran through my mind, making me want to bolt out the door, but I remained planted in the chair and tried to focus on the possibility of what Cal could tell me about what happened between us. An elderly couple seated next to me whispered to each other about life insurance as I worked to stay relaxed.

  "Nina?"

  I looked up at the sound of a man's voice and saw Cal standing at the receptionist's desk. He looked like I remembered—light brown hair, blue eyes that hadn't faded a bit, and an athlete's body visible even under his white shirt and brown dress pants.

  "Cal," I said with nervous enthusiasm. "Do you have a few minutes? I was hoping we could talk."

  Extending his arm toward me, he
smiled and nodded. "Sure. Come with me. We'll talk in my office."

  Cal led me to his office halfway down the hallway. A small room, it had a single window that let in some light but was overall quite dim. His glass and metal desk took up a majority of the space, but there was room enough for one chair for me to sit in.

  "Excuse my office. I generally don't get visitors. Take a seat and tell me what you've been up to."

  His voice telegraphed loud and clear that he was uncomfortable, which only served to make me more uneasy than I'd been just minutes before out in the waiting area. Taking a deep breath, I said, "I wanted to talk about us."

  "Us? Uh, what about us?"

  My hands fidgeted in my lap, and I planted my feet on the floor to stop my legs from shaking. "Cal, I was in a car accident a few weeks ago. I can't remember anything from right before my father died four years ago. I know we're not together anymore, but I was hoping you could tell me what happened to break us up."

  A look of discomfort settled into his features. "Oh, I don't know, Nina. That was a long time ago."

  "It's important to me, Cal. Anything you can tell me would help."

  He seemed to study me for a moment and then a slow smile spread across his face, reminding me of that person I'd dated all those years ago. "I think it's about time I apologized, Nina. I was a real ass. To be honest, if it weren't for the fact that you can't remember anything, you'd probably never speak to me again, and I'd deserve it."

  "What happened to us? I remember us being happy. I mean, I know we weren't ready to make it forever, but I thought we were happy."

  Cal shifted in his office chair. "We were young. I was probably more immature than most guys at that age. I didn't...uh...I didn't realize what I had."

  I didn't know what to say to that. Jordan had made him sound like the worst of all men, but the man who sat across the desk from me seemed to regret how we'd ended. If anything, he looked sad.

  "I guess I just needed to know it wasn't me, Cal."