Fall Into Me (Heart of Stone)

by K. M. Scott

  "Well, maybe shorts? You have nice legs. It's something we have in common."

  "I think we have other things in common. Did you have a nice shopping trip with Jordan? Are you ready for a great dinner tonight?"

  Nina sat down on the bed with a thump and leaned back on her elbows. Eyes wide, she faked an innocent look and ignored my questions. "I swear to God, Tristan Stone, that you're trying to fatten me up. I don't think I've ever eaten this much in my life."

  I looked down at her dress as it rode up her thighs, showing just a hint of the top of her stockings. I wanted to hear her answer about her shopping trip, but my need for her overtook my need to hear why she met with another man behind my back. Leaning down over her, I slid my hand up her leg as I balanced on my other forearm. "You look incredible no matter what I feed you." Looking down at my fingers as they slid under her stocking, I said, "I like the way these look."

  Nina moaned softly as my fingers traced up her thigh to where it met her body. Arching her back, she groaned, "Oddly enough, I only seem to have these kind of stockings. Would you know anything about that?"

  Smiling, I gently pushed my hand between her legs and felt the damp cotton. I slid my middle finger under it to feel her cunt soaked and willing for me. She closed her eyes and licked her lips as I slowly trailed my fingertip from her excited clit to her wet opening.

  I loved the feel of her tender skin under my touch. The way her body opened up to take me into her and give me everything she was.

  Then, from somewhere deep in my mind, a tiny spike of jealousy tore through me, ripping every gentle feeling from me until all I could think about was Nina with Cal just hours earlier. I pulled away from her and stood up as the knot in my stomach returned and my hands clenched in rage.

  Nina opened her eyes and stared up at me in confusion. "Tristan, what's wrong?"

  "I have work I have to do. We'll leave at six. No need to dress up. Wear whatever feels comfortable."

  Sitting up, she frowned. "Oh. I thought we were going to our favorite restaurant."

  Straightening my tie, I nodded. "We are. I'll see you at six."

  And with that I left, needing to escape from everything she made me feel. The ecstasy. The pain. And everything in between.

  Chapter Eleven

  Tristan

  I couldn't turn off the feelings just thinking of Nina and Cal created in me, so I did what I always did when I couldn't control my emotions. After an hour run and beating the hell out of the speed bag, I could at least say I'd reined in the worst of the ugliness that had threatened to take me over. I stood in the shower with my head hung as the water streamed down my back until it ran cold, unable to wrestle those final shreds of jealousy and hatred that continued to spin inside my mind. Over and over, I told myself that Nina cared for me. That I wasn't reading her signals wrong.

  And over and over the truth that I couldn't shake from my soul raised its ugly head and forced me to admit its existence: she'd snuck away to meet another man and hadn't told me when I'd given her the chance.

  My chest felt like a weight was pressing down on it. Every breath I took hurt, as if the simple act of taking air in was all wrong. An emptiness made the pit of my stomach ache as I tortured myself with that same scene of Nina with Cal on his cheap desk.

  I knew I couldn't show her this side of me. She'd never love me if she knew my demons. How many times had my shrinks lectured me on the need to control my emotions? I'd been more than successful, in my opinion. I kept myself and my heart walled off and life had been good. Well, if not good, at least not painful for me or the rest of the world.

  Then Nina came into my life and every emotion she brought out in me seemed magnified. I wanted her. I needed her. She was all I thought about from the moment I found out what Karl and his friends on the Board planned to do. And then I fell in love with her and she became my life.

  My brain raced with thoughts about her ex. I hated him, and I didn't even know him. I didn't care. I hated him because he had a place in her mind. She'd let him into her heart once, so why wouldn't she again?

  Of all the things I could give her, he had that one priceless thing I couldn't. Her past.

  I waited for Nina at the end of her hallway, not knowing what I'd do if she kept her visit to Cal a secret. At six exactly, she opened her door and came toward me in the same dress she'd worn earlier.

  When she'd snuck off to meet him.

  She stopped dead in front of me and looked me up and down. "You aren't in a suit? I don't think I've ever seen you not in a suit. Well, except when you're not wearing any clothes at all."

  A cute blush pinkened her cheeks, making her even more beautiful.

  "I don't think jeans and a shirt are anything that different, Nina."

  Stepping toward me, she hooked her thumbs in the belt loops near my zipper. "I like this look. Even jeans look incredible on you. You okay now?"

  I wasn't okay, but she was too sweet standing there looking up with those beautiful blue eyes for me to shut her out again, so I pushed down my feelings about Cal. "Troubles at work. Nothing to worry about. I'm hungry. I hope you are."

  As I turned to walk toward the car, she caught my arm and pulled me back to kiss me. Standing on her toes, she crushed her mouth into mine as she pushed her body against me, exciting me even if I didn't want to want her at that moment. That's what kind of effect she had on me.

  When she pulled away for a moment, I asked, "Did you remember something you want to tell me?"

  "Yes and no. Let's just say that I'm looking at things between us a little differently now."

  I liked this new Nina, but I hoped her change of heart didn't have anything to do with her midday rendezvous. "Really? Anything you want to talk about?"

  She kissed me softly and smiled. "First, I want to see our favorite restaurant. After that, who knows?"

  I accepted her answer and tried hard to push Cal and all my jealousy away. "Your chariot awaits, my lady."

  I'd arranged for Tony's Little Pizza Heaven to be ours exclusively for the night, just in case she remembered something. I didn't want her feeling overwhelmed by a memory and have to deal with the other patrons at the same time.

  We walked from the parking lot around to the front of the building, and just as we reached the front door, she took my hand in hers. It was the first time since before the accident, and when I looked down at the sight of her hand so delicate in mine, it seemed so natural, like that's where it belonged.

  "I can't wait to see this place!" she said as she looked in the window.

  We sat at the same table as the first time we ate there, and I hoped that even that might spur some memory. Nina looked around wide-eyed at the decor as the waitress who'd been there the night I asked her to marry me arrived to take our order. In seconds, I realized I hadn't thought of everything.

  Recognizing us, she lowered her order pad and pen, and smiled, her eyes wide with friendly enthusiasm. "I haven't seen you guys in weeks! How are you?"

  Nina looked at me, unsure of what to say, and before I could answer, the waitress said to her, "I have to tell you I've told everyone I know about how lucky you are. What he did that night was so sweet. So when's the big day?"

  She winced, like she was embarrassed, and I quickly stood from my seat. "Nina, excuse me. I need to speak to the waitress for a moment."

  The woman looked even more confused than Nina did as I guided her toward the back room. In a low voice, I whispered, "I'm sorry, but she doesn't know what you're talking about. There was an accident and she suffered a head injury that made her forget a lot of things."

  "Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. You two were just the nicest couple and what you did that night was so romantic. I just wanted to wish you well."

  "It's okay, but she doesn't remember."

  The waitress touched my arm in sympathy. "Are you saying she doesn't remember saying yes or she doesn't remember anything at all?"

  I looked over at Nina sitting alone and
said quietly, "Nothing at all."

  "I'm so sorry. I'll get your usual, if that's okay, and leave you two alone. I hope things get better for you real soon."

  Taking my seat next to Nina, I saw the sadness in her eyes. Our night out was already a mess.

  "I'm sorry about that."

  "Tristan, did you make sure we'd be alone here tonight?"

  I nodded. "Yeah, but I didn't remember that the waitress who served us before might be here. I'm sorry. I should have thought of that."

  She covered my hand with hers and smiled. "That you went to that much trouble is so sweet, but you can't shield me from everyone who may remember more than I do. I appreciate the effort, but you don't have to. I have to accept that people like her remember things I don't."

  An uneasy silence settled in between us as Nina slid her hand back to rest in her lap. It felt like we were strangers suddenly, so different from the two people flirting in her hallway just a short while earlier.

  The waitress brought our drinks, and we pretended like nothing was wrong, fooling no one. Sitting there drinking semi-flat birch beer, I wondered if we'd ever get past this stage of one step forward and three steps back. Just when I thought we'd turned a corner, we were back to being like strangers again.

  "You proposed here?"

  "I did. I promise it was more romantic than the time we're having now."

  Nina smiled and leaned over toward me to squeeze my forearm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Tristan. I'm having a great time. I'm here with you and I remember I love pizza, so I'm looking forward to this."

  "You're being kind," I said, allowing my disappointment to show.

  "Well, you said that was something you liked, right?" she asked with searching eyes.

  "I did. Just one of many things."

  "Like what? What do you like best about me?"

  What I can't give you. Yet.

  I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it, looking up at her. "I love your honesty most, Nina. When we grow old and grey and neither one of us looks like we do now, if I have your honesty, that's all I could ask for."

  A pained look came over her, and when she turned away, my heart skipped a beat. Something had happened at Cal's office and she just didn't want to tell me. My blood felt like it ran cold in those moments as I waited for her to turn back to face me.

  Biting her lip, she looked at me and took a deep breath. "About that. I have something to tell you."

  I pasted a smile on my lips as my stomach dropped to the bottom of my body, and I feared that the next words out of her mouth would be to tell me she'd decided that she wanted to be with Cal again. Maybe having a second chance at life had made her want more. Maybe she wanted to rekindle that relationship.

  No. I couldn't let her do that.

  "You can tell me anything, Nina. Always remember that." Even as the words were leaving my mouth, I silently prayed that she'd never tell me what I feared I'd hear in the next seconds.

  "I don't want us to start this relationship again with anything bad between us. I need to tell you about some things."

  "Okay."

  Nina smiled meekly and began. "I dated a man named Cal long before I met you. When I was with Jordan the other day she told me that he broke my heart by cheating on me the very night I told him I loved him. I guess it sent me into a depression. I didn't know that I ever suffered from depression until she told me."

  "Nina, I'd never look down on someone because of that."

  "I know. But that's not what I wanted to tell you. I had to know why he could so easily throw me away, Tristan. I had to find out."

  I couldn't hold back anymore. "Because he's a fucking idiot. He's not worthy of someone like you, Nina."

  Nodding, she continued. "I know. He knows too. I went to meet him at his office today. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to say I wanted to go see an ex-boyfriend to find out why he didn't love me enough to not cheat on me."

  I waited for her to say those next words that would make my world come crashing down around me. That she realized that Cal was the man she wanted, not me. With each second that ticked away, it seemed like an eternity until she finally spoke again.

  Her blue eyes filled with tears, and my heart clenched in my chest as she spoke. "Cal was an immature boy back then. He knows that now. It felt so good to hear that, Tristan. All I could think of since Jordan told me what he did was that I was lacking in something that would mean he couldn't love me. But that wasn't the case. It was him, not me. I know that now."

  "Nina, it would never be you. You're a beautiful woman with a lot to offer any man," I mumbled as the sound of my heartbeat pounded like a sledgehammer in my ears.

  "But I guess I needed to hear Cal say that it wasn't me back then. I needed to hear that so I could believe that someone like you would really ever want me. Do you know what I mean?"

  I nodded silently, waiting for her to get to the part where I was supposed to give her up.

  "Tristan, you've been so patient with me and I can't thank you enough for that. I know it's been hard on you too. I think it might even be harder on you than on me. Remembering what we were when all I know is what we are now must be so painful. I'm sorry most for that."

  Sorry most for that. Her words rang in my ears, like the final shot from a gun right before the bullet slammed into my heart and ripped it to pieces.

  Just then, the waitress returned with our pizza, saving me from hearing what else Nina was sorry about. As we ate, I pretended that I was happy to be there and enjoying our time together. Nothing could have been further from the truth. This place that had been the scene of one of the best memories of my life was now just an empty room with us taking up a tiny sad space in it.

  Nina enjoyed her return to Tony's, but I barely finished one slice of pizza before I felt too sick to stay. My mind raced with ideas, my demons trying desperately to take over. I could take her away and Cal would never be able to find her. I could make sure Jensen never took her anywhere without me, ensuring she never left. I could work at home from now on so I was always there to make sure she stayed.

  "Tristan, you're so quiet. I thought you loved this place, but you only ate one piece of pizza. Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine. Let's finish up and get out of here."

  She was obviously surprised by my desire to leave what I'd described as our favorite place. Now it was just another place I remembered being in love and she didn't.

  I threw a couple twenties on the table and stood to leave, but Nina grabbed my arm and I looked down to see her staring up at me with that look that never failed to make me want to take her in my arms and hold her forever. If this was when she planned to tell me goodbye, I'd let her say it and then deal with her hating me because I had to protect her, even if that meant watching her want another man.

  "Tristan, I want to finish what I started to say. I went to see Cal today because I needed to know if there was something wrong with me. Ever since I saw you that first time in the hospital, I've doubted that you could ever feel what you say you do for me. It didn't matter how many times you said you loved me. I still felt like I didn't belong with you—that I wasn't good enough."

  "Nina, whatever you thought, I need you to know that I'm not going to just give you up. I love you, and you loved me once. And if you loved me then, you can love me again."

  Her eyes lit up with surprise. "Tristan, what are you talking about? I'm telling you that I finally believe everything you said. All this time I'd doubted myself, but now I realize I'm not some defective female no one can love."

  Every ounce of stress left my body and I slumped back down into my chair. "Defective female? Baby, you are perfect. I don't know what those assholes you dated in the past were thinking, but you're everything I've ever wanted."

  Nina leaned over toward me and kissed me gently. "I hope you aren't mad that I didn't tell you I was going to see Cal."

  "I wish you would have told me."

  "Would you have been okay with it?"<
br />
  Shaking my head, I said, "No way. I'm never a fan of the woman I love spending time with another man, especially her ex."

  "You couldn't actually think that I'd want anyone but you, could you?"

  "I think it's time to go."

  I stood and stepped back to let Nina out, and she reached up to put her arms around my neck. Standing on her toes, she slid her tongue over my bottom lip, teasing me. "You thought I was going to say something else, didn't you?"

  Chuckling, I shrugged off her question. "No. I had no idea what you wanted to say."

  She stared up into my eyes for a moment and a sexy little grin spread across her lips. "You just seem happier now. That's all. Seems suspicious."

  I pushed the hair away from her face and pressed my forehead to hers. "Did you have anything else you wanted to say?"

  A tiny whimper escaped from her mouth and she closed her eyes. "I think I'll save that for when we get home."

  "I wasn't thinking of doing much talking when we get home," I said quietly in her ear.

  We walked out to the car as rain began to fall, and my mind flashed back to that night in Venice. Covering Nina's hand with mine, I squeezed it and she looked up at me. "The last time you and I were caught in a rainstorm was in Venice."

  She stopped short as the rain began to fall harder. "I've been to Venice?" she asked in a stunned voice.

  "Yeah. You loved it." I tucked her hair behind her ears and caressed her damp cheek. "That was where I told you I loved you for the first time."

  "We fell in love in Venice? That's so romantic!"

  Shaking my head, I smiled down at her. "No, I fell in love with you long before Venice. I just didn't tell you."

  Nina wiped the rain from her forehead. "Why?"

  "I was afraid to say it because I didn't think I could handle it."

  "Did I love you before Venice?"

  "I don't know."

  Chuckling, she stuck her tongue out. "Now you're just playing dumb. I bet I was crazy in love with you before Venice."

  An awkward silence came over us. Even if she had been crazy about me, that was then. Now, she wasn't in love with me. Yet. I had to believe that what we'd had before could be again, though.