I Love You, Always

by Natalie Ward

  She smiles at me. “Me too,” she says before leaning in and picking back up with that kiss, messing with my head all over again.

  “So where to next then, beautiful girl?” I ask wrapping my arm around her as we walk out of the diner.

  “You don’t remember?” she asks, looking up at me.

  I smile at her. “Of course I do, but that place isn’t open tonight, is it?”

  Ash smiles back at me, “Yeah it’s not, but Mia isn’t the only favour I called in.” She wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

  “What do you mean?” I ask her, confused.

  “You’ll see,” she says, smiling.

  We walk the same route we took last year, although things are so different this time around. Neither of us says anything for a while, but I can’t stop thinking about this very night, a year ago, when things between us were definitely starting to change. It probably really all started with her birthday when I showed up at her apartment, but still, I remember this night being intense. I remember things between us felt charged, more so than they ever had before and it had me going crazy, all fucking night. It brings a smile to my face just thinking about, and I can’t resist squeezing her tighter and teasing her a little. “You remembered a jacket this time though?”

  She laughs. “Yeah, although forgetting it last year was not such a bad thing.”

  I pull her closer to me and her head rests against my shoulder. “I was already so in love with you back then, Asha. I couldn’t believe it when I walked back into that diner and you were sitting there. And then when you came with us, shit, it was so hard for me to keep my hands off you,” I admit, smiling at the memory.

  “Really?” she asks, surprised.

  “Yeah, really,” I say leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “I remember thinking that things were really starting to change between us that night. I don’t know, everything felt different, and there was a part of me that was just so impatient to keep it all going. I wanted you so fucking badly, Ash, I literally had to force myself not to touch you all night.” I pull her closer to me as I whisper, “You are just so irresistible and you drove me crazy, you still do.”

  Ash wraps her other arm around my stomach, holding me in her embrace. “Mmmm, things were changing, I noticed it too. And you know, you didn’t keep your hands off me all night,” she says smiling as she tightens her grip on my shirt. “In fact, I think it was the first time you touched me in a way that wasn’t, you know, comforting me or anything. It was just you, maybe wanting to touch me?” She looks up at me, smiling. “I was scared, but loved it, Luke. And I definitely wanted more of it, a lot more.”

  I laugh now, knowing exactly what she’s talking about. “Beautiful girl, I’d been wanting to touch you since the second I first saw you.”

  She laughs again and my heart is literally floating somewhere inside my chest. Yeah, I really fucking love this girl.

  When we get to the club I notice Jared, Mia, and Damien at the door. I smile at them and they are all grinning back at me like total idiots. “Just how many people are in on this plan of yours, Ash?” I ask, turning to her.

  She smiles back at me, “Oh, you know, all of them.”

  I watch as Damien hands her a key. “The place is all yours, have fun.”

  “Thanks, guys.” Ash says before walking inside the club, my hand still in hers until she moves it so it’s resting against her lower back. I laugh at the memory and she shoots me a gorgeous smile over her shoulder. The place is almost in darkness except for a single light on the stage and a couple behind the bar. I notice a stool, a microphone, an amp, and a guitar case up on stage. None of it can be mine though, because I know my two are at home. The other one’s gone, damaged beyond repair that night, but I’m glad to be rid of it.

  “Drink?” she suddenly asks me, breaking my train of thought.

  I turn back to her, “Sure, although wasn’t I supposed to ask you that?” She smiles again, kissing me quickly before walking over to the bar and pulling out two bottles of beer. “I’m sure it was me who got the drinks,” I say, smiling as she walks back over.

  “Maybe, but seeing as I know what day it is today, this time, I’ll get the drinks.” She’s poking me in the chest as she says this, but I know she’s teasing. Yeah it was my birthday that night, but I couldn’t have cared less about that when I got to spend it with her.

  “But it’s not technically my birthday yet,” I say, smiling as I take my beer from her.

  “No, you’re right,” she says throwing our bottle caps on the table. “But this required some planning and I want to spend all of tomorrow with you, not organising this.” She takes off her jacket now, draping it over the back of the chair. “And anyway, by the time we’re done tonight, I’m sure it will be your birthday.”

  She smiles at me again, only this time, it’s that same smile she gave me when she walked naked out of the bathroom weeks ago and climbed into our bed and on to my lap. Fucking sexy. I pull her towards me, one arm wrapped around her neck, the other still holding my beer, and I kiss her, hard. My mind is racing with possibilities now as I think about all of the things I can do with Ash, alone in this club.

  She kisses me back but then laughs, pushing her hands against my chest. “Come on, we’re not done yet.”

  “We can be?” I suggest teasingly.

  She smiles again. “Nope, not quite.”

  I hold my beer up to her instead, as I say, “Thank you, Asha.” She smiles at me as she taps her bottle against mine. “So, you gonna tell me where you disappeared to today?”

  Ash just smiles like she’s got the biggest secret in the world and says, “You’ll see.”

  I take another swallow of my beer and I’m about to see if I can kiss the information out of her when she says, “But right now, there’s something for you, up there.” She’s nodding her head towards the stage and when I turn, I see again the guitar case that’s sitting on the stool. I turn back to her. She smiles as she says, “Yes, for you, Luke, go and see what it is.”

  I put my drink down on the table and am about to go over when Ash suddenly stops me. “Oh hang on, you’ll need this,” she says pulling a red guitar pick from her pocket and handing it to me. I take it from her fingers, pulling her hand to my mouth at the same time for a kiss. She’s smiling up at me and I can’t resist gently biting her thumb. I watch as her eyes darken before she gently pushes me towards the stage, laughing.

  I turn and walk slowly over there, wondering how the hell she could know what kind of guitar to get me. I half wonder if it’s my old one and it’s somehow been be repaired, but when I get closer I see the case is brand new. I turn back to look at her and she just smiles and nods, so I take the two steps onto the stage and walk towards the stool. When I reach the case I’m pretty sure I actually stop breathing and when I open it, I know my heart stops.

  “Asha…” I breathe out, turning to face her. She’s smiling up at me as she stands there, hands in her pockets, watching me. I’m half tempted to just walk back off this stage and pull her into my arms because I cannot believe what she has done here.

  “Happy birthday, Luke,” she whispers. “Will you play something for me?”

  I’m literally speechless at the gift she’s bought me. It’s the Gibson Les Paul Signature acoustic I wanted. It is it exactly, in the custom black colour and everything. I can’t fucking believe it. This is something I’ve had my eye on, something I’ve wanted for months, many, many months, long before my other one got damaged. Only one other person knew I wanted this, only one other person knew this even existed for me and it wasn’t Ash.

  “Beautiful girl, what have you done?”

  “You like?”

  “Asha,” I groan. “Fuck, I love it, I seriously love it. How did you know?” My fingers are moving over the strings, daring me to pick it up and see what it feels like in my arms. I’m completely, unbelievably amazed by what’s in front of me, by what she has bought, for me. I turn back an
d look at her. She’s standing there, smiling at me. She looks so beautiful in the dim lights of the club, just like she did a year ago when we were here.

  “Asha,” I say again. “How did you know?”

  She walks towards me, stopping at the edge of the stage. “Like I said, a few people helped me out.”

  She’s smiling up at me and I have to walk over. When I reach her, I crouch down and press my lips to hers, my hand gently holding her chin. “Thank you, beautiful girl, thank you so very much, I love it.” I kiss her again. “I can’t believe it. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this guitar.”

  Her smile is bigger as she says, “You’re welcome, and yeah Jared might have mentioned something about it. Will you play something for me?”

  I smile as I lean in and kiss her once more. “What would you like to hear?”

  She runs her hand lightly over my head and down my cheek to my neck. My heart melts at her touch and I want to wrap my arms around her. “The newest one, the one you just finished, for me,” she says shyly.

  “The newest song I wrote for you?” I ask. When she nods I quickly kiss her again and say, “Absolutely.”

  I walk back to the stool and pick up my new guitar, throwing the strap over my shoulder. I decide not to plug it in to the amp because it’s just us in here and I won’t need to. So I take a seat on the stool, facing Ash. I see the microphone in front of me but move it to the side. I won’t need that either. Looking down at her with a smile on my face, I watch as she sits down and waits for me to start.

  This song I wrote for her works best with acoustic, and in here it will sound amazing because the club is actually set up perfectly for something like this. This is the song I created for her the night she told me she loved me for the first time. I have never played it all the way through before.

  I take a deep breath, moving the pick through my fingers as I stare at the beautiful instrument I’m holding in my arms. It is absolutely amazing and I have to slowly breathe out before strumming against the strings. I play a few chords, move through some notes first, just getting used to it. It’s already tuned and I can’t help but smile again, knowing this is why Jared and Damien were here earlier. The guitar is magnificent; but Ash, fuck she is just amazing. And here tonight, alone in this club with no one but Asha, is unbelievable, completely indescribable.

  To play like this, just for her.

  To watch her as I start to sing, just to her.

  To sing the words that I wrote, just for her, with no one else around us.

  My body is humming, itching, begging me to touch her, but her face as she listens to these words I’ve created for her, keep me on the stage, make me want to finish this song. It’s intense and amazing and insanely personal and she is the only one who truly understands it, the only one who knows what these lyrics really mean. To me, to her, and to us. I wouldn’t want to share this moment with anyone but her.

  When I finish it, she is on her feet, a huge smile on her face now. I stand, take the guitar from my shoulder and walk to the edge of the stage, stepping down to the floor and walking straight into her arms. She wraps them around me, and I wrap mine around her, the guitar she has given me resting against her back.

  “That was amazing,” she breathes out.

  “No Asha, that’s you.”

  She pulls back a little and looks me in the eye. “So, the guitar is good?”

  I smile at her. “The guitar is unbelievable, but you, you are so fucking amazing, Asha, seriously, I can’t believe this.”

  She laughs now, but I silence her with a kiss. She kisses me back and I’m trying to put the guitar down without letting her go or taking my mouth off hers when she pulls back again. “Oh, wait, there’s more,” she says.

  I take the opportunity to lean my new guitar against the chair. “More?”

  “Yeah,” she says quietly. “More.”

  We are standing watching each other, and there’s a look on Ash’s face that I can’t read. She smiles; a tiny smile before she reaches down and slowly lifts up her shirt. My eyes travel downwards and I watch as she pushes her jeans down, the top of a bandage sticking out from them. I look back at her face and she raises one eyebrow at me, smiling as she says, “I wanted to keep it with me forever.”

  I look back down and when I see what she has done, my heart stops in my chest for the second time tonight. I can’t help myself as I sink to my knees in front of her, my eyes quickly flicking back up to her face. She’s smiling down at me as she holds the bandage back and suddenly, the reason why she disappeared for so long today, all makes sense. My eyes move back down her body and I take in the sight that’s right in front of me now.

  These words. Words I created for her. Words I sang to her, literally two minutes ago.

  you are forever a part of me

  i am forever a part of you

  My thumb brushes gently over the words, which are now tattooed forever into her skin. They sit on her hip, just below her fading scar and I’m completely speechless at the sight of these two permanent marks, side by side on her body. One of them, a symbol of her saving my life and rediscovering her own. And the other, a symbol of my infinite love for her and the love she gives me in return.

  I lean in and press my lips to her skin, unable to say anything. I feel her hand brush over the top of my head and my eyes close in response. Her skin is warm against my mouth and she smells incredible and I just don’t know what to say about the gift she has given me tonight. The guitar is one thing, but this, this is so much more.

  “Asha,” I breathe against her.

  She runs her hand over my head again and I finally look up, my lips still touching her skin. “You like?” she whispers to me.

  My fingers tighten on her hips. “I love, Asha, I love.”

  I kiss her skin again before pulling myself back up. Holding her face in my hands I whisper, “I love my guitar and I love these words you’ve put on your body.” I lean in and kiss her softly. “But more than anything, I love you, Ash. You are my forever.” And then I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close as I kiss her again and again; amazed at everything she’s done for me.

  “So can I please take you home now?” I eventually ask, both of us breathless.

  She smiles up at me. “Not yet. We have one more stop first.”

  “One more stop?” I practically groan.

  “Yes,” she answers laughing. “There are plans for tomorrow too, and things that need to happen tonight to make those happen.”

  I shake my head in amazement, again. “Asha, why are you doing all these things for me?”

  She presses up on her toes to kiss me again. “Only what you deserve, Luke. So it’s gonna take a few hours, do you want to leave now or have another drink first?” She glances at her watch. “We have time.”

  I shake my head no as I wrap my arms tighter around her waist, picking her up as I practically growl, “Definitely leave now. I need to take you to bed, as soon as possible.” She laughs and I have to kiss her just to show her how much I mean it. Right now, I need to turn this around and show her just how much I appreciate not only the gifts, but her. So fucking much.

  I wake up wrapped around her. I have no idea what time it is and Ash is still asleep, so I don’t move, just stay right here with her in my arms. She’s got her back pressed against my front, curled inside me and my arms are wrapped around her, the fingers of one of our hands entwined together. This bed we’re in is huge and insanely comfortable. The remnants of our very late dinner are sitting on the small table in the corner and our clothes are scattered all over the floor.

  She never took me home last night. She took me to the train station instead, picking up an overnight bag I’d missed, sitting by the door of the club. The one more stop became four agonisingly hot and frustrating hours spent trying not to touch her too indecently as we sat on the train. Then we got to New York and were on our way to this amazing hotel down in the village. We haven’t left the room since we checked in, g
etting room service and eating it in bed. I don’t actually think we’ve left the bed since we got here either, mainly because I just can’t keep my hands off her. I’m pretty sure I haven’t wiped the smile off my face either.

  Ash slowly rolls over in my arms, so she’s lying on her back. I can’t help but run my hand down the side of her naked body. Starting from her neck, I slide it down over her shoulder, then her elbow, across her ribs and down her stomach, her hips, all the way to her thigh. I can’t reach any further without moving, so I lightly run my fingers back up to her hipbone and the gorgeous gift she gave me last night. I trace the outline of the letters and catch her smiling at me, even though her eyes are still closed. As I smooth my fingers over the words, I hear her breathing quicken.

  “Luke?” she whispers.

  I press my lips to her neck. “Yes, Asha?”

  “We are going sightseeing today.”

  I smile. “Oh, I’m doing exactly that, right now, beautiful girl.”

  She laughs and I watch the way her body moves, mesmerised. “I mean real sightseeing.”

  I smooth my thumb over her new tattoo, the redness of it already disappearing, the bandage long ago pulled off. Shit, it is so fucking sexy, seeing my words, words that I created just for her, forever branded into her skin. It’s done in the finest of black inks and it looks so goddamn amazing, I can’t help leaning in and pressing a soft kiss against it.

  “This is definitely real sightseeing,” I murmur against her skin, pressing more kisses all over her stomach and along her ribs.

  She laughs again, reaching down and pulling me back up to her face. Smiling, she looks at me with her eyes open now and says, “Happy birthday, Luke.”

  I smile as I lean in to kiss her lips. “Best birthday ever.”

  She exhales and whispers. “Okay, your birthday, your choice what we do.”

  I know from the way she says it, she doesn’t care what we do, and that it really is my choice. But I also know she will have ideas, has possibly made plans for today and I don’t want to ruin that for her. “Let me do this for just a little longer,” I breathe against her lips as my hand slides down her body again. “Then we’ll go sightseeing.”