Beyond Shame

by Kit Rocha

  Jasper rubbed a hand over his face. "I thought you didn't want Lex twisting off any dicks."

  Dallas pinned him with a cold look. "I'll handle Lex. I'll handle all the other girls who aren't marked or collared, too. Those of you who have women, keep them close."

  A taunt wrapped in admonishment. For all his positives, sometimes Dallas could be a prick as well as a hypocrite. "Message received," Jasper drawled.

  "We'll see, won't we?" Dallas straightened and raised his voice. "Hit your rounds. It's early last call at the club, and the girls'll want you to clean up pretty and party with them. Get laid good tonight, because we're all going to be busting ass for the next couple weeks."

  The men started to file out, but Jasper lingered. "Should we more than double up if we have to go into Sector Three, or let those stops slide for now?"

  Dallas gestured for Bren to hang back and waited for the other men to close the door before speaking. "Anything outside of Four, I want the two of you on it together. I trust your guts and your heads. You'll know if shit's too hot, but you won't get twitchy and start a territory war."

  Bren shoved his hands in his pockets. "You think a war is what Dom's after? He's bucking for you to send someone to take over Three, and he sure the hell wants it to be him."

  "I think Dom wants to get out from under my boot." Dallas reached for his cigarettes again with a sigh. "He's a bastard, and more of one every fucking week. Violence should be a tool, not the only way you get off. Not sure he knows that anymore, if he ever did."

  They could let him try to take over Three, but even if Trent's remaining men sent Dom back in a box, the other sector leaders would see it as an outright declaration of aggression on Dallas's part. "We can't let him try it. Nobody would believe he'd acted on his own."

  "No, I'm going to keep him on a short leash. Pair him up with Maddox." Dallas's grin bordered on sadistic. "Dom's not smart enough to know he's too stupid to fool Maddox."

  Because Mad was an evil genius, the only man in Sector Four more brutally efficient than Bren and more charming than Ace. "I didn't know he was back."

  "He's not—yet. But he should be rolling in tonight before the end of the party."

  For all the joking Jasper and Ace had done, it seemed Dom might end up dead, after all. "If anyone will know how to handle it, it's Mad."

  Dallas nodded. "Now, on the topic of information... Bren, get what you can from Six. Make her life a little more comfortable. I don't want her running unsupervised through the compound yet, but once we're sure she's not playing a long game..."

  "I'll make sure she's happy."

  "Without giving her any more people to beat to death."

  Bren nodded blandly. "I've got it covered."

  Dallas swung to face Jasper. "As for you and Miss Cunningham, I think she knows more about the people running the city than I gave her credit for. Find out how much. No need to interrogate her, but I think she'll take it a hell of a lot better if you ask than if I have to."

  So that was his endgame. "Do you want me to squeeze her for information or collar her? Because they might wind up being mutually exclusive options."

  Dallas rocked back in his chair and lit his cigarette before eyeing Jasper over the smoke. "You think it would hurt her?"

  "Noelle's father is a powerful man," Jasper reminded him. "Yeah, I think she'll mind if we have to crush a few just like him. Not for their sakes, but for the collateral damage."

  "And if it comes down to them or us?"

  "She's not weak, and she's not stupid."

  Dallas took a long drag and stared up at the ceiling. "I've got a little time. You make your decision about her, and then I'll make mine."

  Jasper had made his choice, and the rest was up to her. No way could Dallas say the same. "She's still new."

  "She's one of us." Dallas's flat tone invited no argument. "If you can't keep her and question her at the same time, I'll respect that. But it means I'll be the one asking the questions, and hoping she's as strong and smart as you think she is."

  "Understood."

  "Yes. Yes, it is."

  Dallas seemed just as upset by the conversation as Jasper was, and that quelled a little of his irritation. "Cheer up. Like you said—Noelle's one of us."

  "Mmm." Dallas exhaled again, blowing smoke into the air and watching it disperse. "I suppose I couldn't have you all to myself forever. Get out of here and get some work done."

  Not in the mood to talk about it, then. "Fights tonight?"

  "Damn straight. Bet we'll see a big crowd, too. They always come sniffing around when there's blood on the concrete."

  "The spectators are even more bloodthirsty than the fighters." Jasper held up his fist.

  "Always." After only a moment's hesitation, Dallas left the cigarette between his lips and bumped his own fist against Jasper's. It was silent acknowledgment, an apology and forgiveness in one gesture.

  "Tonight." The only promise he could offer. He'd get things straight between himself and Noelle. The rest of it was between her and Dallas.

  Noelle didn't need to ask Lex for advice on her wardrobe anymore. She'd chosen tonight's ensemble on her own, everything from the short leather skirt to the matching halter that wrapped around her throat and ended just above her belly button, baring pale skin and the curve of her hips. She had new boots, too, custom-crafted ones that somehow managed to mix tough practicality with a sleek sort of sensuality.

  Dressed in leather and ink and her newly blossoming pride, she looked like an O'Kane. It was exhilarating.

  The noise of the celebration hit her the moment one of the bouncers hauled open the door for her. Screams and cheers, drowning out the faint hint of music coming from the far side of the room. The warehouse had stark lighting, bare bulbs that looked like they'd been scavenged from before the storms. They cast their brash but uncertain light everywhere but where the action was—the cage.

  A fight was winding down, judging by the shouts and whistles. Noelle ducked past two groupies and started for the far side of the room, where the O'Kanes usually claimed the best tables and couches. More than one unfamiliar fighter grinned at her, and all made slow appraisals of her body that invariably stopped at the tattoos on her wrists. The smiles melted away a little faster than the men, but every one disappeared into the crowd before he could get caught ogling an O'Kane woman.

  God, power felt good.

  Lex lounged on a low sofa near the bar, a drink in one hand. "You look nice, baby girl."

  "Baby girl? You're Noelle?" A young woman in tattered jeans and a tight pink tank top perched on the arm of the couch gave Noelle's outfit a once-over before groaning. "God damn, Lex. She's barely been out of the city a week. Where do I get one of your makeovers?"

  "You're not dirty enough, Nessa." Lex softened the words by stroking the woman's arm. "It just wouldn't work for you."

  Nessa. Rachel had mentioned the name more than once as the brains behind some of the O'Kanes' biggest breakthroughs in liquor production, but Noelle had pictured someone older. Nessa looked to be near Noelle's age, though her slender body and heart-shaped face made her look younger. Sweeter.

  Until she scowled. "I'll be plenty dirty when I'm good and ready," she retorted, swinging her legs out of the way to make room for Noelle to sit. When she did, the girl thrust out her hand. "Nice to finally meet you. Dallas keeps me chained up in the distillery, and not with the sexy chains, either."

  Judging by the knowing grin on her face, it was another tease, like Ace's. Noelle accepted the ribbing as inevitable and shook the offered hand with a smile. "Well, I'm glad he let you out for the night."

  "He wouldn't have let you miss this." Lex sat straighter and nodded to the cage. "Here he goes."

  Bren had just climbed inside the cage, stripped to the waist, his feet bare. He stood on one side, near the bars, his head bent, stretching his shoulders.

  "Oh my God, Bren's fighting?" Nessa's eyes widened under her spiky, bleached-white bangs. "Oh man, oh man.

We're all gonna feel a little dirty tonight."

  Baffled, Noelle glanced at Lex. "I'm missing something, aren't I?"

  "Nope." Lex finished her drink and motioned to Rachel, who stood at the end of the bar. "You're missing everything."

  A stranger climbed into the cage with Bren, a bulky man with ink, but not O'Kane markings. The tattoos were distorted by his bulging muscles, which the man flexed repeatedly to earn squeals from some of the groupies on the opposite side of the crowd.

  Next to him, Bren looked...average. Strong but compact, and outweighed by enough to stir real worry in Noelle's chest. "Is he going to be okay?"

  Rachel chuckled as she walked up with a tray cluttered with overflowing shot glasses. "He'll be dandy after he gets the crap beat out of him."

  "And they throw a chick in there," Nessa added. "Dallas should start auctioning off the privilege. He'd make more on that than he does the booze."

  Noelle prodded Lex with her elbow. "Is she serious?"

  "About which part?"

  It was answer enough. Noelle snapped her gaze to the cage as the stranger took his first swing. Bren blocked it, but his opponent came back with an even harder blow to the ribs. Bren took it and staggered against the bars.

  Rachel shook her head. "This guy's a tank. Fifty bucks says Bren ends it early because his dick hurts."

  Nessa thrust out her hand. "I'll bet a hundred that he plays with the guy for a while, but doesn't bother dragging the girl out of the cage before he fucks her."

  Lex slapped her palm. "If he's that hot for it tonight, I might be the one jumping in there with him."

  Their voices slid past Noelle as she watched the cage, transfixed by the sheer violence contained within the bars. The huge stranger looked furious, his face red and his veins bulging. He came at Bren again and again, roaring curses and swinging with meaty fists. Sometimes Bren dodged or blocked with a lazy ease that made it even more confusing when a blow he should have avoided smashed into him.

  She'd watched Jasper fight with focused intensity and unwavering attention. She'd seen Flash dominate an opponent with his huge fists and sheer size. This was something else entirely, a completely unbalanced fight—because Bren didn't seem to be trying.

  Another rough hit slammed him against the cage bars, and Noelle winced. "He's not going to fight back?"

  "Sure, he will." Rachel grinned and passed her a shot. "When he's had enough."

  Their scattered comments coalesced, formed a cohesive whole, but Noelle still couldn't quite believe what they were saying. "He likes getting beat up?"

  Nessa snorted. "Like? Try gets off on in a major, seriously hot way."

  "She means that he's a masochist." Amira dropped to the couch with a sigh and draped her legs across Lex's lap. "He derives sexual pleasure from pain. Intense pleasure, apparently."

  Noelle's cheeks flamed. She very carefully didn't look at Lex, and didn't blurt out there's a word for it? either. She did rub her thumb across the inside of her wrist, remembering the tiny stabs of pain as the needle pierced her skin, each one an irritation on its own, but all of them together burning through her into something hot and hungry. "Oh."

  "Oh, she says." Rachel tugged at a lock of Noelle's hair. "Bren's a special case. Most of the people I've met who like pain are subs, but not him. By all accounts, he's damn bossy while you're whipping him."

  A roar went up from the crowd, dragging Noelle's attention to the cage just in time to catch Bren twisting his opponent's arm high behind his back. "So he really is playing with the other guy? He could win whenever he wants to?"

  "You don't know?" Amira cracked open a fresh bottle of water. "He was on the military police force in Eden. Special Tasks. He could snap that guy's neck without breaking a sweat."

  Belatedly, Noelle drained the shot Rachel had handed her. She needed it as she studied Bren again. Within Eden, people barely admitted that Special Tasks agents existed. The city of the future should have no need for men trained to stalk and kill...but of course they did.

  "That explains a lot," she said faintly. "About how he can fight so well, I mean. I don't know what to think about the rest of it."

  Lex raised an eyebrow. "You plan on fucking him?"

  Noelle made a face, remembering how gently he'd rejected her the night of her party. "Even if I were, I don't think he's interested."

  "Then why do you have to think anything about it?" Lex slipped out from under Amira's legs and walked off, into the crowd.

  Rachel watched her go. "Jesus help us all. She's in a mood."

  Apparently so. Lex had already disappeared into the mass of bodies, and Noelle didn't think she'd appreciate being followed. "It's not something I said?"

  "Maybe," Nessa told her, patting her shoulder awkwardly. "Or not. You'll never know. That's the beauty of Lex."

  But Amira shook her head. "It's Dallas. Has to be."

  "Ah, yeah." Nessa blew her bangs out of her eyes and gave Noelle a speculative look that left her squirming. "You were with them the other night..."

  She trailed off, as if inviting Noelle to fill her in on all the gritty details. Maybe that was common—sex and gossiping about it. Or maybe Nessa was nosy and Lex wanted her privacy.

  Not that Noelle had anything useful to contribute. She'd spent the night so wrapped up in Jasper that Lex and Dallas could have had a fight a foot from her head without her noticing. "They seemed fine then. Though Dallas did come around this afternoon to tell us we can't leave the compound alone."

  "That could be it," Rachel observed. "She doesn't respond well to orders. Which means half the time, she's giving Dallas the finger..."

  "And the other half, he's giving it to her," Amira finished, holding up her hand.

  Nessa slapped her palm. "And his thumb too, when she's lucky—oh Lord, have mercy and look out. Bren's had enough."

  The man in the cage swung, and Bren caught his opponent's fist in one hand. Another swing, with the same result. When he held both of the man's hands trapped in his, Bren grinned ferally and headbutted him. Once, twice. The man swayed, dazed, as Bren released him.

  Then he dropped to the floor, unmoving.

  The crowd cheered, and even Nessa bounced up off the couch with a triumphant shout. Caught up in the excitement, Noelle raised her voice, too. She'd never cheered before, but it turned out to be the most natural thing in the world. Her shouts rose to meld with the other voices, made her as much a part of the group as Nessa's arm around her shoulders.

  Dallas was the one who hauled open the cage door and gestured for someone to drag away the fallen man. Noelle watched his lips move, though she couldn't hear what he said over the din in the large room. Bren answered with a curt nod, and a scuffle broke out between several of the women standing near the cage.

  Amira made a disgusted noise. "Girl, look at that pushing and shoving. No pride whatsoever. Bren's hot, but you don't make a fool of yourself over a man who isn't yours."

  Bren seemed to have come to the same conclusion. He stared at the women surrounding the cage door for a moment, then stepped out and stomped past them, his chest still heaving.

  Was that how she looked to Jasper? Desperate? Worry gnawed in Noelle's gut until she remembered she'd been in the warehouse for at least twenty minutes without scanning the faces in the crowd for him, much less throwing herself at his feet like the pouting girls in front of the cage.

  Of course, the thought of him forced her gaze through the throng until she spotted his familiar profile in the far corner. He was standing next to a man Noelle had never seen, one with O'Kane tattoos winding up his bronzed arms. Coal black hair fell rakishly over his eyes, and he smiled when he caught her staring, an expression as wicked as any Ace had ever offered her.

  Noelle looked away before Jasper could follow the man's gaze and find her mooning over him. "Who's the man with Jas?"

  "That's Maddox." Rachel tipped back another shot. "Just got back from a trip south of the city."

  "Ace will be disappointed," Nessa said, reaching for a drink of her own. "Mad's just as charming, but he's got these eyes... Oh, you could drown in them. I mean, if you weren't already drowning in Jasper."

  "You should meet..." Amira trailed off and winced. "Oh, yeah. They're fighting."

  Noelle followed her gaze and saw Lex headed for the back exit with two rough-looking men trailing behind her. They were dressed almost like Nessa—ripped jeans, big boots, and lots of silver jewelry flashing under the bare lights—but the tattoos covering every bit of available flesh were even rougher. Gawkish. Nothing like the breathtakingly detailed work Ace did, so maybe he had earned a little bit of his ego.

  Nessa groaned and drained her shot. "Lord save me. Dallas is going to be unlivable for the next week, and I have to deal with him."

  "He doesn't own her," Rachel said firmly. "If he wanted to lock that down, he could. We all know it."

  "You mean with the marks?" Noelle asked, glancing at Amira's throat. What would it be like to have Jasper's ink wrapped around her neck? To feel the needle and know each stab of pain said mine and forever? Her body tingled at the thought of it.

  "He could start off with a collar." At Noelle's confused look, Amira explained, "It's a less permanent option."

  "But otherwise it's pretty much like being marked," Nessa added. "Totally at the guy's mercy. Man, I don't even know. Dallas is hot enough to melt a girl's panties, but we're all pretty much at his mercy already. Can you imagine how much more intense it'd be if he collared you?" She shook her head. "Maybe he knows better. Lex would try to kill him, and that wouldn't end well."

  Noelle wasn't so sure. She'd seen the give and take between Dallas and Lex...but she'd seen Lex give in, too. Seen her melt for Dallas—all of her, not just her panties. "Maybe she'd feel differently if he offered instead of acting like he owns her already."

  Amira smiled. "Looks like you've got Lex figured out. Maybe you should clue Dallas in."

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